Science in Poetry - the comments

[greenmountaineer]

I really liked how the poet of #5 "Links of Fate" used "Brownian Motion" and "Moïbus Strip." The science is beyond me, but what he or she inferred in the poem was skillful. My only quibble is "red hot lust." With all the inferences (including the falling hula hoop) and how they weaved so well together, it felt a bit too descriptive to me. Suggesting lust, I think, would have been a better fit in this wonderful poem.

After failing miserably at an earlier guess, I think it better just to say the poet is probably old enough to have used a hula hoop.

 

[Seanathon]

I thought I should poke my head in to leave a comment and confess that I wrote one of the twelve entries. (I hoped there might be a post revealing the names of those who have submitted so far). Otherwise, I'm sure no one would guess (or even know) my name.

Two poems that caught my attention were #1 (reminds me of Ellen More's Spring Challenge entry Bloom) and #12 (It's about magnets - Magnetron?).

Congrats to all who participated, and thanks for the idea, Mer!

 

[legerdemer]

authors who've written to the challenge

Thanks, Seanathon, for the prompt.

In alphabetical order:

AlwaysHungry
Ashesh9
Butters
EllenMore
Greenmountaineer
Legerdemer
Magnetron
Piscator
Seanathon
Todski28
Tristesse2

One of these poets submitted two. If more do so, I'll update the list to show the numbers for each poet.

And most importantly, thanks all for submitting. I think we should keep submitting until about the 24th or 25th, then dedicate ourselves to picking some favorites. I'm working on comments of my own but been temporarily buried. Meanwhile, keep yours coming. Some really lovely and thoughtful entries!

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I may be wildly wrong, but I'll guess GM for #1. He sometimes writes biographical poems. He often writes elegant poems.

 

[greenmountaineer]

I may be wildly wrong, but I'll guess GM for #1 He sometimes writes biographical poems. He often writes elegant poems.

Not I, AH, but thank you.

 

[Magnetron]

I'm still a n00b here, but I'm guessing that #3 is Magnetron's.

Nope.

Heizenburger Burgerheizen tis not mine.

 

[Magnetron]

Here's one old one in the mean time, which should somewhat give away my entry.


The Physics Of Snow Angels


The legacy you leave behind
Children numbering in plentitude
Such adorable snow angels they make
I watch them spread their quaint wings aflutter in the morning sun
And come the lengthening evening shades

Drifted over by the wind

Gone

These fleeting impressions that are your words

Remarkable poetry subtracted of its poetry is just that
Alchemic equations failing to measure up into anything substantive
Formulaic fodder for the sake of water cooler discussions
Doodles and scribblings written in dry erase marker
Easily wiped away from a whiteboard








Isn't that pretty? It even kinda looks like an angel when you turn it sideways.

* gags *

 

[butters]

Here's one old one in the mean time, which should somewhat give away my entry.


The Physics Of Snow Angels


The legacy you leave behind
Children numbering in plentitude
Such adorable snow angels they make
I watch them spread their quaint wings aflutter in the morning sun
And come the lengthening evening shades

Drifted over by the wind

Gone

These fleeting impressions that are your words

Remarkable poetry subtracted of its poetry is just that
Alchemic equations failing to measure up into anything substantive
Formulaic fodder for the sake of water cooler discussions
Doodles and scribblings written in dry erase marker
Easily wiped away from a whiteboard








Isn't that pretty? It even kinda looks like an angel when you turn it sideways.

* gags *

see? you do surprise

no. 10 = magnetron's

no.12 = tods'

 

[greenmountaineer]

see? you do surprise

no. 10 = magnetron's

no.12 = tods'

Agreed.

 

[greenmountaineer]

A little metaphysical

Hey, Aristotle thought it was Epistomology. Does that qualify as scientific?

Dithyramb

Though I don't know why the universe spins
with science I know I'll always know how.

The laws of science you can't disavow
because you want angels dancing on pins.

I can make robots that play violins,
grow vast timberlands from twigs on a bough,

though I don't know why the universe spins.
With science I know I'll always know how,

so why would I make up devils or jinns,
why kill the Bhudda or follow the Tao?

Yes, there's no silk in the ear of a sow,
but I can make purses; I can clone twins.

With science I know I'll always know,
though I don't know why the universe spins.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

For the geometers:

The Definition of Love

MY Love is of a birth as rare
As 'tis, for object, strange and high ;
It was begotten by Despair,
Upon Impossibility.

Magnanimous Despair alone
Could show me so divine a thing,
Where feeble hope could ne'er have flown,
But vainly flapped its tinsel wing.

And yet I quickly might arrive
Where my extended soul is fixed ;
But Fate does iron wedges drive,
And always crowds itself betwixt.

For Fate with jealous eye does see
Two perfect loves, nor lets them close ;
Their union would her ruin be,
And her tyrannic power depose.

And therefore her decrees of steel
Us as the distant poles have placed,
(Though Love's whole world on us doth wheel),
Not by themselves to be embraced,

Unless the giddy heaven fall,
And earth some new convulsion tear.
And, us to join, the world should all
Be cramp'd into a planisphere.

As lines, so love's oblique, may well
Themselves in every angle greet :
But ours, so truly parallel,
Though infinite, can never meet.

Therefore the love which us doth bind,
But Fate so enviously debars,
Is the conjunction of the mind,
And opposition of the stars.

Andrew Marvell (1621 – 1678)

 

[ishtat]

I enjoyed a lot of these but was left with the impression that some, maybe most, could do with a bit of polishing. Liked 5 very much, but the line "knotted in red hot lust" is not good. Knotted chains? let alone the RHL!

Slightly surprised given this site that we didn't get a blatantly obvious "Big Bang" poem.

Overall, an interesting challenge.

 

[Piscator]

# 12 How to Explain Magnetism pulled me in and I suspected butters but then she nominated tod for 12. Unless she is exceedingly devious, and even if she is, I am just confused.

 

[Piscator]

For the geometers:

The Definition of Love


Andrew Marvell (1621 – 1678)

It's in another forum but here is my take on Geometry&Love

Geometry of love

Two lines intersect
an inherently
unstable situation.

Parallel lines
are better
each proceeding
separately in
the same direction
balanced by forces
of attraction/repulsion.
But if these change
the lines diverge
or intersect (see above).

Sometimes two
intersecting lines
may align
with a third
forming a
triangle,
which is stable
but generally
disapproved of.

Very occasionally
two lines may meet
end to end
and curve
to form
a circle
which is
One.


​

 

[Piscator]

I like #11, especially the "phosphorus" line and the concluding line about the vein of ore. However, I am baffled by "Yet practice smoothed us into an ever more efficient guile" -- I don't understand how "guile" is being used in this context.

I too liked 11 but would end it halfway at

One would think we'd thus be
quickly satisfied, but quite the
opposite occurred

 

[Lyricalli]

I've finally had the chance to read through the poems, and I liked them all to varying degrees. I'm not very good at guessing the authors, so I haven't really tried to figure them out, though as soon as I read Amaranthine Love (poem #2), I thought of AlwaysHungry.

I'm looking forward to reading more entries and enjoying the discussions here in the comments. Maybe I'll even give it a whirl myself if the muse allows.

Am I the only one who hears The Rose in the title of #4? I can't be the only one who hears songs all the time, though I am the only one I know that starts singing them when I hear them, lol.

No, you're not the only one. I tend to sing them aloud, too, though not every time.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

see? you do surprise

no. 10 = magnetron's

no.12 = tods'

I'd like to jump on this bandwagon. And although my guesses thus far have been wide from the mark, I'm going to go down the list and, by process of elimination, guess GM for #8. If I have blown it yet again, I give up.

 

[butters]

#14 rocks!

15's pretty neat, but 14 speaks so clearly, nothing in the way, it's fabulous imo.

who wrote it? not a clue, could be one of several here but so far it's my favourite.

 

[todski28]

one day, just one day I may write something that I don't get picked out for having written :sigh:

yes 12 is mine.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I looked at all the submissions, all are shit (farts, really) tho one soared to manure, almost fertilizer.

 

[todski28]

I looked at all the submissions, all are shit (farts, really) tho one soared to manure, almost fertilizer.

well with that brilliant depth of observational skill I guess we can all pack up and call it a day

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

well with that brilliant depth of observational skill I guess we can all pack up and call it a day

Biological Reflection
A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't.

Ogden Nash

 

[todski28]

Biological Reflection
A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint
Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't.

Ogden Nash

and??? I take it you have a point?

 

[Magnetron]

and??? I take it you have a point?

JBJ is trying to say he is a Periodic Table empty of elements but stacked with petrie dishes.

Time to let him haunt some other Lit forum.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

JBJ is trying to say he is a Periodic Table empty of elements but stacked with petrie dishes.

Time to let him haunt some other Lit forum.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suqSXWu9ddI

I s'pose I gotta start you noobs back at the beginning, and Elgar is a good place to learn poetry writing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgMNzPdbRl8
lesson 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVvzLVMTvgA
lesson 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEPy_fe91yw
and Lesson 4