Sensual Domination!

[graceanne]

I'm trying to not feel left out. I'm suspecting that there more like me that are lurking about but just aren't posting.

Out of curiousity sake, I'm more like you then most of the people here. Frankly, I like being spanked, and nipple clamps and all, but I'm not as extreme as some. It's mostly the domination I like, and betticus, I know quite a few women like me, although they're pretty closet subs. I don't even know if they know that they have a title.

 

[Betticus]

Out of curiousity sake, I'm more like you then most of the people here. Frankly, I like being spanked, and nipple clamps and all, but I'm not as extreme as some. It's mostly the domination I like, and betticus, I know quite a few women like me, although they're pretty closet subs. I don't even know if they know that they have a title.

The title alone would probably scare them.

 

[graceanne]

LOL So true. Quite frankly, it's why I don't go into it with them.

 

[Pure]

Hi Graceanne,

I took a look at
http://sub-retreat.markandelle.com/memory/acidtest.html

while it has good points about posers i find lots of myths and too high a confidence in this screening.

further it talks of this rare 'real dom' without defining it.

the talk of there being 10 times as many 'subs' as 'real doms' likewise is so vague as to be meaningless. it's perhaps true that 'real subs' are pretty rare, depending on one's definitions.

Hi Betticus,

I think you're right that implements do not a dom/me make.

OTOH, I do get tired of the 'gentleman dom' (self labeled) with his scarves and feathers, promising total sensual and romantic fulfillment through expert ministrations to the key points, and candle light dinner following. *He* (no reference to you, B, or anyone in this thread) might well be no dom at all; not evil, merely a romantic wooer into a bit of kink.

 

[graceanne]

Hi Graceanne,
while it has good points about posers i find lots of myths and too high a confidence in this screening.

further it talks of this rare 'real dom' without defining it.

the talk of there being 10 times as many 'subs' as 'real doms' likewise is so vague as to be meaningless. it's perhaps true that 'real subs' are pretty rare, depending on one's definitions.

Yeah, it's not a perfect article, but it was still very helpful in what to look out for. Frankly, I don't think that their's any true and tried ways to find a real dom, mostly because every woman is looking for something else. What I want is not necessarily what someone else wants. And, frankly, for every abuser out there, there is probably someone who won't stay in a relationship where they aren't being abused.

 

[Pure]

graceanne, i once had a go at a similar topic, concentrating on connections that start on the 'net. perhaps you can give some feedback. in some ways it's broader, in that dom/me's problems are talked about.

"Online safety"

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=164665

 

[graceanne]

graceanne, i once had a go at a similar topic, concentrating on connections that start on the 'net. perhaps you can give some feedback. in some ways it's broader, in that dom/me's problems are talked about.

"Online safety"

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=164665

Great article. It's a lot more precise, and in depth. The only problem I had was addressed later on. Namely that they say to be suspicious of people who won't tell you what city they live in, but at the same time not to hand out your city. So if someone refuses to give out their city, they might have read this article, and are being safe theirselves!

 

[Betticus]

Great article. It's a lot more precise, and in depth. The only problem I had was addressed later on. Namely that they say to be suspicious of people who won't tell you what city they live in, but at the same time not to hand out your city. So if someone refuses to give out their city, they might have read this article, and are being safe theirselves!

Hmmm. I'd probably have my address and phone number in my profile if it weren't setting a bad precedent.

That, and it would get annoying to have to feed the stalkers.

 

[m wisdom]

Great article. It's a lot more precise, and in depth. The only problem I had was addressed later on. Namely that they say to be suspicious of people who won't tell you what city they live in, but at the same time not to hand out your city. So if someone refuses to give out their city, they might have read this article, and are being safe theirselves!

I thought that was intresting as well. Basically what they are saying is don't give any information that the other person haven't given you, and only after you have checked that information is true. The only problem is who will go first.

I don't mind if people know what city I live in, but I don't give out my full address or my last name.
<== You can find my location here...

 

[graceanne]

Well you do more than I do. I hand out state, occasionally city, depends on how I feel about the person. But I only hand out my name to people I've been chatting with for a while, and am comfortable with.

 

[kitty4ever]

I give out state, metro area that I live in, and that about it. Occasionally, I'll give out my first name/nickname. You have to know me awhile before I will give out my whole name. The website that I work with, originally wanted my name on it, and it was for awhile, until I finally got it through their thick skulls that I wasn't comfortable with that. Especially since my last name is not very common. Now, it's off of there.

 

[Betticus]

Well, if I were a woman I would be a whole lot more careful with my personal information. You girls get harassed by all the freaks.

 

[kitty4ever]

Well, if I were a woman I would be a whole lot more careful with my personal information. You girls get harassed by all the freaks.

Like you?

 

[bluntforcemama]

Like you?

Are you always this nice?

 

[kitty4ever]

Are you always this nice?

Betticus has earned my special brand of teasing.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Betticus has earned my special brand of teasing.

Remind me to never earn your special brand of teasing.

 

[Betticus]

I'm inside you!

There is a special place inside you my little lover, my temptation, my sub. A place you have but don't know about, a place you can't find or hide from me. A secret place. I fill you with me, I see your heart, smell your dreams. You feel me there completing you. I'm your shield from the world, your armor and your weapon, your gladiator. I fill your void, nurture and protect you and you give me purpose.

 

[graceanne]

Re: I'm inside you!

There is a special place inside you my little lover, my temptation, my sub. A place you have but don't know about, a place you can't find or hide from me. A secret place. I fill you with me, I see your heart, smell your dreams. You feel me there completing you. I'm your shield from the world, your armor and your weapon, your gladiator. I fill your void, nurture and protect you and you give me purpose.

*fans self* how in the world you're not in a relationship is beyond me

 

[Betticus]

Re: Re: I'm inside you!

*fans self* how in the world you're not in a relationship is beyond me

I'm not sure about it. I've never gotten an answer from ex's that I've been able to understand completely.

"You are too good for me" doesn't cut it. What the hell does that mean?

I just feel worthless right now. No purpose for being. I'm sure it'll get better.

 

[bluntforcemama]

Re: Re: Re: I'm inside you!

I just feel worthless right now. No purpose for being. I'm sure it'll get better.

"When I look at you, I'm forgiven. "

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Betticus, I too tend to use the mind to exert my power rather than the lash.

I agree that there seems to be an unwritten rule to the effect of:

If you can't/won't/prefer not to whip a sub/slave into submission, then you are not a Dom/Master.

This is BS. A stern look, a tone of voice, or even a simple look of disappointment can often hurt much more than a flogger, whip or cane, and leave much more lasting damage.

At the same time, using pleasure to show your sub/slave how much you value and care about them can be an effective tool to further their submission to you. In effect, it serves to demostrate to them what happiness pleasing you can bring. A caveat must be inserted here however, that for some, (such as my slave) pleasurable activities can involve pain.

To a sensualist Dom/me, IMO, it is not the use of pain or physical effort which serves best to assert their power. It is the use of the mind, and being willing to use sensations in the most effective manner.

For some, a light, tender caress can be more difficult to withstand than the solid slap of the cane.

Of course, everyone may feel free to disagree, As I do not hold this to hold true for anyone but me.

 

[Betticus]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I'm inside you!

"When I look at you, I'm forgiven. "

Good.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Until I read the initial posting I had no idea just what a *Sensual Dominant* was. Imagine my delight and surprise to discover that those words are almost a perfect description of me.

I don't dig pain nor punishment without reason and my idea of punishment is usually something that requires me not to lift a finger but which gets my point across all the same. I tell my submissive that I want to get inside their head. I want to learn what hurts them, what makes them smile, what they need, what they want so that I can get the best service from them.

It's not even mind control, it's the knowledge and ability to get beneath their skins, make them yearn for me. It works and it makes my submissives and I partners, not just owner and pet.

Luna

 

[InnerDarkness]

It's not even mind control, it's the knowledge and ability to get beneath their skins, make them yearn for me. It works and it makes my submissives and I partners, not just owner and pet.

Luna

this is soooo important.

I like to think I am a pretty smart gal. Lots of schooling, a decent amount of life experience and enough experience with mental mind fucking that I ain't just some cute new face on the block.

I don't want someone to order me around and act as if their mere words and orders are what cause me to tremble. I want someone to really dissect me, to learn about me, to challenge me. If they can do that, then I give them a key to the very inner part of me and once they unlock that, I am theirs. They can manipulate the fuck out of me if they want to at that point, because I have granted that to them...but you have to get there first...and that takes work.

 

[Betticus]

Until I read the initial posting I had no idea just what a *Sensual Dominant* was. Imagine my delight and surprise to discover that those words are almost a perfect description of me.

I don't dig pain nor punishment without reason and my idea of punishment is usually something that requires me not to lift a finger but which gets my point across all the same. I tell my submissive that I want to get inside their head. I want to learn what hurts them, what makes them smile, what they need, what they want so that I can get the best service from them.

It's not even mind control, it's the knowledge and ability to get beneath their skins, make them yearn for me. It works and it makes my submissives and I partners, not just owner and pet.

Luna

To get the best service from them is one thing. I want them to want to give me control. To trust me. To open themselves to me. I want to learn all of their inner thoughts, feelings and agendas. Not mind control, I don't want to control them. I want them to control themselves for the reason that they know it will please me, make me happy and make me proud of them. They have to want to be with me.

Now, getting them to that point?