Sex does not exist...

[jeepman6]

I know I'm not ready (or willing) at this point to end this relationship. No need to hold grudges over past actions. I'm going to make sure we both work through this rough time. I got him to open up about a few things. I'm learning that he's to go in for testing for a series of hormone panels and other things. I'm taking a break from hormonal BC for at least two cycles. So things will be slow and we will both be patient. He's reliant on all that motivational crap because he's not sure where he is spiritually, financially, or lately, emotionally. Grasping at straws maybe? He's afraid to confide in me at times, since I'm usually the quiet one and keep things bottled up, so he compensates (I guess) by yapping away. (point: we're horrible at communicating our own feelings when asking the other direct questions. Makes us both feel cornered and rather jumpy. I also don't like asking for help personally, but won't hesistate to help if asked.)

I moved with him to make a fresh start somewhere else. I prefer if everyone and everything else is settled and okay first, then I focus on myself. If back home, life will revert back to my parents trying to still parent me to prove wisdom of their ways and to constantly bring up anything I've not succeeded at personally. (They both had strict upbringings and passed it along and I naturally protest within reason and do like to keep them on their toes.)

We both attended a great costume party last night. I had a blast except for one guy yelling and swearing at the group I was sitting with and he spilled a drink on my hair and costume. He also found a stereo/tape deck and walked around blasting some loud "music" and sing-yelling along to it. He was roughed up later on by some party guests twice and then escorted out by a bouncer friend of ours dressed as vampire. Another person started knifing pieces of fruit in a punch bowl, playing with it and stuck it in the kitchen doorframe. I'm not sure what that was about . Some phone calls were made and I think everything got settled. (I'll find out Monday evening from the hosts directly.) I had some interesting dreams about the party and the varied guests.

Bullshit! He's telling you what he thinks you want to hear because you're there and he knows he can have that control. How do I know? I was him in my past life thats how. You can take my response in any way you choose but when I say I know from where he's coming from I DO know. He has you under his thumb and plans on keeping you there. Honey grab your Nike's and run like hell. He;s not gonna change for you but you will be expected to change for him. He will beat you down and make you feel it's all your fault and none of it falls on him. RUN RUN RUN. You don't have to go back home, just get away from him.