Sex or Service ?
- Thread starter Richard49
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Bondagebunni
Petable
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Johnny Mayberry said:
hijack
walmart is god...it saved a hideous prom dress and made it a beautiful gown...in 14 hours
/hijack
i just realized a lot of stuff that i've been confused about...now i must write it down before i forget again (hate when that happens) thanks to everyone who commenting, you helped me a great deal more than you know.
Johnny Mayberry
Golden Boy
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Ebonyfire said:
You never can tell...3 am, I need a jumbo-sized box of condoms, 16 feet of chain, a wicker chair, and a duck decoy, where else am I going to go?
I know I had a thread-related statement in here somewhere...oh, yeah. Some of us like an all-in-one sub for sex and other types of service. Others like to seperate sex from scenes, so need different partners for each.
Johnny Mayberry
Golden Boy
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lektra said:
Ummm...maybe I could just show you?
Johnny Mayberry
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lassarina said:
JazzManJim
On the Downbeat
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MissTaken said:
And some enjoy both.
But I don't relish the idea of maintaining the same level of control outside the bedroom as I do inside it. That, to me, is too much like having a pet that needs to be constantly watched and given orders. That's not very enjoyable to me at all and smacks too much of having another full-time job.
Inside the bedroom, though, I very much enjoy having the control MissT mentioned as part of sex. And just as an aside, don't think that just because a Dom has only one orgasm to your seven or eight or ten that he's not thoroughly enjoying himself. Trust me on this one.
s'lara
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Good bump on this one.
As far as i was concerned, all i did was in service of my Dominant. Much like you mentioned in your other thread. Working hard and well, maintaining the self (mentally/physically/spiritually), even being a decent person was in service to the Dominant. my development and how i excelled was personally satisfying as well. A win-win situation if you will.
Everything else (sexually speaking) was prize winning gravy. Good, non-lumpy, rich and creamy gravy ... but a reward nonetheless.
lara
As far as i was concerned, all i did was in service of my Dominant. Much like you mentioned in your other thread. Working hard and well, maintaining the self (mentally/physically/spiritually), even being a decent person was in service to the Dominant. my development and how i excelled was personally satisfying as well. A win-win situation if you will.
Everything else (sexually speaking) was prize winning gravy. Good, non-lumpy, rich and creamy gravy ... but a reward nonetheless.
lara
cellis
Saucy
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This is a really good thread... much food for thought...
Like Justina, I always feel that sexually I have way more orgasms than Himself... of course there was a time 2 years ago when I could barely achieve one... It has taken me a long time to understand how much He likes my orgasms... how much He likes that I can have one most any place now... He tells me that they are His orgasms... that He controls them and that I am allowed those orgasms because He allows me to have them...
Through part of this year when He was sick and working out of town, sex became secondary to just maintaining that D/s aspect of our relationship... It was a very difficult time and three very long months...
As for service... it is a major focus of our relationship... there are things in my refridgerator that I would never have had in there before... He has only to mention that He likes something and I make certain that I have it... I care for Him on an emotionally level and provide a physical and emtional outlet for Him... I am very aware of what my place is in His life... what His needs are from me and for me...
Like Justina, I always feel that sexually I have way more orgasms than Himself... of course there was a time 2 years ago when I could barely achieve one... It has taken me a long time to understand how much He likes my orgasms... how much He likes that I can have one most any place now... He tells me that they are His orgasms... that He controls them and that I am allowed those orgasms because He allows me to have them...
Through part of this year when He was sick and working out of town, sex became secondary to just maintaining that D/s aspect of our relationship... It was a very difficult time and three very long months...
As for service... it is a major focus of our relationship... there are things in my refridgerator that I would never have had in there before... He has only to mention that He likes something and I make certain that I have it... I care for Him on an emotionally level and provide a physical and emtional outlet for Him... I am very aware of what my place is in His life... what His needs are from me and for me...
AnelizeDarkEyes
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Richard49 said:
The better question is:
What ISN'T service?
I look at absolutely everything I do for my Dominant as service. It is not about what "I want" or about what "I need." My orgasms are not the point, and are at His whim and on His terms--for me to expect them would be foolish. My sexual gratification is icing. The cake is being given the privilege to serve, in whatever capacity He chooses.
~anelize
Daedalus77
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I think it is easy for a sub to service in the bedroom. It's fun. It's how they act the rest of the time that defines them.
s'lara
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This is a bump worthy topic. Many of our newly registered board members might want to chime in on this one if the spirit moves them.
What is the most important aspect of the lifestyle to you?
Does performing/receiving non-sexual service make up the bulk of your duties/expectations? Or is sexual service a minor part of the services you provide/expect?
Its seems many of the threads have centered around the sexual practices of others. Yes, i know, this is a porn board, however, we have managed to have topics discussed, dissected and debated which were unrelated to how we sexercize at home.
Also, don't get me wrong, i thought that sexual service was an incredibly important part of my duties, but there was much satisfaction to be had in carrying out the simplest of orders. i was curious to see how large a role non-sexual service played in the lives of others.
lara
What is the most important aspect of the lifestyle to you?
Does performing/receiving non-sexual service make up the bulk of your duties/expectations? Or is sexual service a minor part of the services you provide/expect?
Its seems many of the threads have centered around the sexual practices of others. Yes, i know, this is a porn board, however, we have managed to have topics discussed, dissected and debated which were unrelated to how we sexercize at home.
Also, don't get me wrong, i thought that sexual service was an incredibly important part of my duties, but there was much satisfaction to be had in carrying out the simplest of orders. i was curious to see how large a role non-sexual service played in the lives of others.
lara
ownedsubgal
lost little girl
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if sexual service were always easy and "fun", then would it really be service? anywho...for me, submitting/serving comes naturally. it's not something i do because it's fun or makes me feel good, i do it out of pure instinct, and because it's instinct and completely aside from personal choice, it can often be difficult. my submission isn't based around my sexuality. i am submissive sexually because i am a submissive, in general. what's most important? pleasing my Master. not simply serving, as that comes naturally, but serving to the absolute best of my abilities. in ALL ways. sexually yes, but that is one small part of a huge picture.
Kajira Callista
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Does serving a Master in a non sexual way bring sexual pleasure to a submissive?
Service/Sex
I suppose I must admit when in a Dominate relationship with a sub I guess I don’t dwell on service, but I do expect it. That doesn’t mean I ignore the service, I help in cleaning etc. but when I ask for something I expect it to be accomplished without a lot of fuss and some decorum. When a lady gives me her submission it is not a license for me to abuse the trust, but to use it for both of our gratifications. I derive my pleasure as much from control as from intercourse. (Dam never thought I would say that) So which is more important? I don’t think I can honestly say.
New subject….Who is quoting Heinline. My favorite author ever….from Juble to Friday I think he is great. And in Time enough for Love, he really made a lot of sense.
I suppose I must admit when in a Dominate relationship with a sub I guess I don’t dwell on service, but I do expect it. That doesn’t mean I ignore the service, I help in cleaning etc. but when I ask for something I expect it to be accomplished without a lot of fuss and some decorum. When a lady gives me her submission it is not a license for me to abuse the trust, but to use it for both of our gratifications. I derive my pleasure as much from control as from intercourse. (Dam never thought I would say that) So which is more important? I don’t think I can honestly say.
New subject….Who is quoting Heinline. My favorite author ever….from Juble to Friday I think he is great. And in Time enough for Love, he really made a lot of sense.
hurtme
Really Really Experienced
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In the bedroom i am completely submissive without question...outside the bedroom...well, its a bit different but not much...I am not the cleaning lady, i am not the slave. He has always known how i worked...he could demand that i get him a drink, or something to eat, or rub his shoulders, or whatever, but he also knows that all he has to do is give me a look, or whisper in my ear, and i would do anything for him...and that for me, a whisper is much more effective that a direct order.
My idea of service to him is first and formost anything sexual he wants or desires (minus my very few hard limits which are normally his as well) after that, outside the bedroom, I still submit to some level but not to the extent that most (i have read) do...for example, there is a chance i would not respond to a direct order outside the bedroom, there is also a chance that i would talk back to him him. But there are other ways he gets control over me, i had one, who enjoyed having me sit between his legs, pressed against him ,while he stroked me like a cat...with friends in the room...and it was hard for me to do, because I am not really comfortable with extreme displays of pulic intamicy, and in my mind, my body pressed against his genital area, and the fact that being stroked turns me on...also the fact that i was sitting at his feet because he asked it of me, like i really was his pet... Knowing my fear of public humiliation, one would occasionally show his dominance by making me do something that i would have otherwise considered rather embarrassing, like admitting that i begged for anal sex in a room full of close friends...
*just for a note, when i say he, i am not speaking for one dom, as i do not have one, I am just usuing a general term*
My idea of service to him is first and formost anything sexual he wants or desires (minus my very few hard limits which are normally his as well) after that, outside the bedroom, I still submit to some level but not to the extent that most (i have read) do...for example, there is a chance i would not respond to a direct order outside the bedroom, there is also a chance that i would talk back to him him. But there are other ways he gets control over me, i had one, who enjoyed having me sit between his legs, pressed against him ,while he stroked me like a cat...with friends in the room...and it was hard for me to do, because I am not really comfortable with extreme displays of pulic intamicy, and in my mind, my body pressed against his genital area, and the fact that being stroked turns me on...also the fact that i was sitting at his feet because he asked it of me, like i really was his pet... Knowing my fear of public humiliation, one would occasionally show his dominance by making me do something that i would have otherwise considered rather embarrassing, like admitting that i begged for anal sex in a room full of close friends...
*just for a note, when i say he, i am not speaking for one dom, as i do not have one, I am just usuing a general term*
s'lara
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ownedsubgal said:
i don't know osg ... i think service isn't about whether it's fun or not. However, service is just that ... taking care of the needs of others before your (the sub) own needs despite whether you enjoy it or not. Taking pleasure in sexual service doesn't negate the fact that it is still service. i don't see how it is necessary to dislike sexual service in order to give it this kind service more validity.
lara
