Sex or Service ?

[Kajira Callista]

i don't know osg ... i think service isn't about whether it's fun or not. However, service is just that ... taking care of the needs of others before your (the sub) own needs despite whether you enjoy it or not. Taking pleasure in sexual service doesn't negate the fact that it is still service. i don't see how it is necessary to dislike sexual service in order to give it this kind service more validity.

lara

Arent you supposed to be enjoying taking care of others needs before your own? Do you not get pleasure in knowing you have a difficult task to accomplish for your Master? Isnt that part of what makes us who we are basically? (not meant argumentatively just some food for thought)

 

[ownedsubgal]

i don't know osg ... i think service isn't about whether it's fun or not. However, service is just that ... taking care of the needs of others before your (the sub) own needs despite whether you enjoy it or not. Taking pleasure in sexual service doesn't negate the fact that it is still service. i don't see how it is necessary to dislike sexual service in order to give it this kind service more validity.

lara

lara, i never meant to imply that service must not be enjoyable, or it isn't truly service. not at all. my comment was actually in reference to another poster's comment that serving in the bedroom was "easy" and "fun". first, that isn't true, and secondly, if something is always going to be "fun", as in give me that kind of direct personal pleasure, then imo it's not really service to begin with. i hope that makes a wee bit more sense (probably not, as i express myself terribly, but hey i tried).

KC, there's a pleasure that is natural for a submissive to get in pleasing another...in a job well done...but to me that is different than the direct sort of pleasure that comes from external sources.

 

[s'lara]

Arent you supposed to be enjoying taking care of others needs before your own? Do you not get pleasure in knowing you have a difficult task to accomplish for your Master? Isnt that part of what makes us who we are basically? (not meant argumentatively just some food for thought)

i think i made it clear that there is pleasure to be had in serving, however, whether the submissive finds pleasure or not in a particular task is inconsequential to the actual service. The Dominant's comfort and care are primary ... not the submissive's.

The questions you asked KC, i have answered previously. Check a few posts above. Wanting to serve because it is a natural reaction is why we are submissive. While there isn't anything wrong with serving because it makes you (the sub) happy, there is no guarantee that every time you serve, the outcome will equate to joy or a feeling of goodness. To believe so is naive and more importantly, in thinking this way, the sub places her needs before the Dominant's ... unacceptable to my way of thinking.

Serving another is hard work and realistically speaking, hard work isn't always pleasurable or joyful. However, there is much enjoyment to be had in serving (as i've said before) and that is what makes it worth recognizing your submissiveness and having a Dominant make use of this trait.

lara

 

[s'lara]

lara, i never meant to imply that service must not be enjoyable, or it isn't truly service. not at all. my comment was actually in reference to another poster's comment that serving in the bedroom was "easy" and "fun". first, that isn't true, and secondly, if something is always going to be "fun", as in give me that kind of direct personal pleasure, then imo it's not really service to begin with. i hope that makes a wee bit more sense (probably not, as i express myself terribly, but hey i tried).

KC, there's a pleasure that is natural for a submissive to get in pleasing another...in a job well done...but to me that is different than the direct sort of pleasure that comes from external sources.

i understand you osg. Thanks for the clarification. i think its best to say whether something is "always" one way or another is dependent upon the people involved. If it is the Dominant's wish to have Their bedroom activities center around the pleasure of the submissive ... then i am going to bet it will always be "fun" and "easy" for the sub (to an extent; it is possible to use even pleasure as a tool of torture) unless the Dominant changes the rules.

i acknowledge the fact that some of us (subs) may have our own difficulties with some situations ... that's a given. But, i think it is fair to say that what i might find incredibly tough, someone else will find it a breeze. *shrugs* There those of us who still see service in a task even if there is direct personal pleasure from it. If it is the Dominant's wish that a sub obtain pleasure from an act, then carrying out that task is still service. It may not sit well because it feels like we're focusing on ourselves, but it is still service.

lara

 

[lizzie anne]

difference?

LOL, ok, some of us like to shop the specialty stores...others like to get everything at WalMart. To each his own, I suppose!
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i have to, agree, here, because, i myself, do not, ever, get involved with any level of sex ever.....
i am 100% non interested.....i have not, been involved with any form of sex since 10/31/01
and i prefer my total dedication of domestic service anyway....
i clean the entire house alone, inside, plus, i do all the heavy grunt work outside front and back yards.....
and
i do maintenace on Her car also.....
it is all.........in my hands.........alone.....
i just prefer to stay celibate.......
thanks

lizzie

 

[MastrJ]

I had never thought of having a sub perform service outside of the bedroom. Perhaps I just wasn't being imaginative enough , but I felt that having a sub performing household tasks, etc. would be too much like having a pet or indentured servant. Not something that really appealed to me. However, my sub has expressed an interest in being required to perform some services outside of the bedroom as well. So far, our situations have prevented us from being able to spend more than a few hours together at a time, but we will have a chance to spend about four days alone with one another. I've been trying to think of areas in which I could have her perform, but I'm not too sure. Other than cleaning, how do some of the other subs service their Dom/Dommes outside of a scene/the bedroom?


Edit: I just realized that I didn't make it clear, but after speaking with my sub I realize that serving me in more ways other than sexually would be rewarding for my sub. This is what has got me to thinking about this and wanting to help her, and me, explore this a little.

Also, count me in as another Heinlein fan. I just wish I still had a copy of Time Enough For Love. I loaned that one out years ago and never got it back. Lazarus is one of the best characters I've ever read.

 

[esclave_PP]

To answer Richard's question, my service to Master is both. I do everything from make coffee, cook, clean to servicing him physically how he wishes. The entire big picture is service to me, as his slave. There are strictly service subs like Midori mentioned in her article of late, who was it that posted that? Interesting piece -- thank you...I enjoy all aspects of service even if it is making Master some scrambled eggs -- the sheer joy of seeing his pleasure is my reward. That might sound corny, even over scrambled eggs, but that's just us

 

[Richard49]

Does serving a Master in a non sexual way bring sexual pleasure to a submissive?

Who would have thought this thread is still around

I may have missed it but I saw no reply to your question

My indirect experence
(being a Dom rather then a sub)
is that for may submissives the answer is yes

Though we need to remember
that for many
they only "play" at this lifestyle in the bedroom
and for some of them it is only occasionally

 

[catalina_francisco]

Other than cleaning, how do some of the other subs service their Dom/Dommes outside of a scene/the bedroom?

I am a 24/7 slave so for our situation I serve Master in any way he chooses. That is not confined to sex and housework. It may be he chooses to utilise my mind for a specific use, I edit for him often both personally and professionally, researching things he needs checked, using my creativity for a specific purpose, running errands and reminding him of things, and the list goes on. All can be pleasurable if the right mindset is cultivated and maintained.

Catalina