Sex synonyms in dialogue

[BobbyBrandt]

In dialogue a character is prone to use the same term over and over again. It's just how we talk. Some variety is good in the narrative, but even there, it can be distracting if you are always finding a different way for saying something. Listen to how people talk. Most of them don't have a thesaurus-style vocabulary.

Commenting on posts like the OP's are challenging for me because the answer seems like it should intuitive:

They're your characters. Let them speak the way that they want to.

A young innocent woman just beginning to explore her sexuality would almost certainly use different words than the sex-crazed slut wife involved in a swingers orgy scene. The young man trying to seduce his aunt would generally use different, kinder words than the manipulative and dominating Lothario blackmailing wives to have his way with them.

Few things kill a story for me faster than a character speaking out of character.

 

[GrushaVashnadze]

I have to assume that even the most prodigious sex-havers have a relatively static vocabulary in the spoken word.

There is sex talk. And there is dirty talk. And then there is filthy fuck-talk. Each has its own merits, and its own fans. Some writers of erotica set great store by avoidance of repetition, and variety of vocabulary – both of which demand the use of metaphor, imagery and euphemism. On the other hand, filthy fuck-talk revels in repetition and bluntness. This does not make it an inferior sort of writing, but it functions in a unique way. As an example, here is one of the finest fuck-talkers in the world of filmed porn – Jenna Haze, in It’s a Secretary Thing 2:

"I think you’re gonna make my fucking ass come. I think you’re gonna make that little slutty ass come.
Oh my God. Fuck yes! Yes, fuck your dirty secretary.
And call me, come talk dirty to me, talk dirty to me while I come all over your dick.
Oh – fuck yes, yes.
Oh yes, I wanna work it. I wanna torture your cock the way you tortured me. Let me do it, yeah. I wanna torture that fucking dick, yes, give it what it fucking wanted, what it fucking needed.
Oh yes, just like that, just like that. Yeah, oh my God.
Oh – fuck! Oh that’s good, oh that’s good, oh my God. Oh yes, oh my God!
Fuck yes, take this fucking, take that fucking ass, baby.
Fuck little Jenna the way you always wanted to."

Yes, this is definitely repetitive. And Jenna's vocabulary is without doubt "static"! But be impressed that Jenna is improvising it, even as she pounds her asshole (reverse cowgirl) up and down on Tom Byron’s cock whilst rubbing her clit. (I challenge you to do the same!) Like any well-improvised performance (from Norse skaldic recitation, to singing the blues round a campfire, to extemporising prayers in an evangelical church), it works by embracing a series of carefully judged patterns of repetition. In Jenna’s monologue above, there appear a series of “couplets”, each built around a different theme or image, each image emphasised by being repeated (in italics below). Within each “couplet” the second half is often embellished slightly, with a change of word, or an added adjective, adjectival phrase or piece of imagery (underlined below):

“You’re gonna make my fucking ass come. | I think you’re gonna make that little slutty ass come”
“Come talk dirty to me, | talk dirty to me while I come all over your dick”
“I wanna torture your cock the way you tortured me. | Let me do it, yeah. I wanna torture that fucking dick”
“give it what it fucking wanted, | what it fucking needed”

My point? That there is a time and place for everything. Sometimes variety of vocabulary is appropriate. But sometimes the exact opposite can make a true work of pornographic or smuterary art.

Here is my (ironic) take on it, co-authored with Violet_Vixen: Fuck-Talk

 

[samhasstories]

I think shoehorning in lesser words is more awkward than repetition. If you have a few good synonyms in your toolbelt, sure, spread the love, but I'd rather read the 45th variation of "She took his hard cock in her hand" than just one "She took his tumescent tallywacker in her hand." Unless you're going for a very specific tone.

 

[Trionyx]

As stated before, make sure the synonym chosen fits the character. A high class woman would not “hit her slit” but she might engage in a little “ménage a moi.” A young male nowadays would probably not “shake hands with Yul Brenner” as he is not a well known actor anymore.
You can google synonyms for various parts and acts. An abridged list is here: How to Fuck Without Saying Fuck

 

[Britva415]

They're your characters. Let them speak the way that they want to.

This. Plus its corollary, "let them speak like they would speak as the characters they are, not speak as the narrators of the prose you're writing." That's one of the worst mistakes a lot of Lit writers make in dialogue. In the unquoted prose (the author's words) it makes more sense to avoid repetition of words than it might in the dialog (the characters' words).

People don't care about that as much when they talk, so, realistically the characters aren't going to be self-conscious enough to avoid repetition when they're talking dirty to each other.

As the author, ways OP can manage that are to not have the characters say those words a lot of times at all - or, to paraphrase what they say rather than directly quote them.