Sexless Marriages

[AspiringAuthor]

My BF just turned 50, so he's not old. I keep telling him that, but he's just NOT intrested in sex at all. No matter what I say, how much I beg him for it or cry because of it.. He keep telling he's too old for it, which is BS bcs people have sex even in their 70s ffs. I just don't get it. I try not to push him too much, but after YEARS of nothing it's hard.

He HATES talking about it. But every now and then we do, cuz I make him. And I have to. Once you see people kissing and hugging or having sex, holding hands etc and it makes you cry I guess it's time to talk about it. I can't help how I feel and it sadness me deeply that he doesn't seem to care? Or why else he wouldn't HUG me when I BEG him too? How can he say he loves me and then be so cold.. I don't understand and I never will.

I know I am different than him. I am very cuddly person while he is obviously not, but hug a person you claim you love and who is begging you for it shouldn't be THAT HARD no? It makes me feel as he wouldn't touch me even with a stick and that hurts.. I know I am not the pretiest person or skinny, but I was like this already when he fall in love with me. I have not change THAT much so he couldn't even bloody touch me now.

I love him still the same as I did 15 years ago, but maybe it's different for men. Maybe they always get bored of their partner as the years go by. Idk..

I am not sure if he realise that, but the more he rejects me the more he pushes me towards someone elses arms. I miss things and I miss them real bad. I told him eye to eye, sent him lots of emails about it as well, but nothing helps. He decided we won't have sex and wants me to go with it. I don't know if I can nor if I want too. Hell, I am still too young to live like a nun + this no sex no touch makes me mega depressed.

I have noooo idea how to proceed. How to make him like me again. If thats even posssible. Idk.. Life sucks sometimes.

I've asked him last night if he would want me again if I lose some weight? He told me to stop it.. How can I fix things when he don't even tell me whats wrong? And I don't believe that "I am too old for sex.." bullshit.

Is he, by chance, on antidepressants?

 

[Ritaraj]

hi..i am Rita....i can only say world is big , if not getting sex in marriage ,try outside
life is one enjoy it

 

[Mo_Bandy]

hi..i am Rita....i can only say world is big , if not getting sex in marriage ,try outside
life is one enjoy it

Yeah this. Keep banging. Theres some good pussy out there that needs dick.

 

[Dhfranklin94]

My BF just turned 50, so he's not old. I keep telling him that, but he's just NOT intrested in sex at all. No matter what I say, how much I beg him for it or cry because of it.. He keep telling he's too old for it, which is BS bcs people have sex even in their 70s ffs. I just don't get it. I try not to push him too much, but after YEARS of nothing it's hard.

He HATES talking about it. But every now and then we do, cuz I make him. And I have to. Once you see people kissing and hugging or having sex, holding hands etc and it makes you cry I guess it's time to talk about it. I can't help how I feel and it sadness me deeply that he doesn't seem to care? Or why else he wouldn't HUG me when I BEG him too? How can he say he loves me and then be so cold.. I don't understand and I never will.

I know I am different than him. I am very cuddly person while he is obviously not, but hug a person you claim you love and who is begging you for it shouldn't be THAT HARD no? It makes me feel as he wouldn't touch me even with a stick and that hurts.. I know I am not the pretiest person or skinny, but I was like this already when he fall in love with me. I have not change THAT much so he couldn't even bloody touch me now.

I love him still the same as I did 15 years ago, but maybe it's different for men. Maybe they always get bored of their partner as the years go by. Idk..

I am not sure if he realise that, but the more he rejects me the more he pushes me towards someone elses arms. I miss things and I miss them real bad. I told him eye to eye, sent him lots of emails about it as well, but nothing helps. He decided we won't have sex and wants me to go with it. I don't know if I can nor if I want too. Hell, I am still too young to live like a nun + this no sex no touch makes me mega depressed.

I have noooo idea how to proceed. How to make him like me again. If thats even posssible. Idk.. Life sucks sometimes.

I've asked him last night if he would want me again if I lose some weight? He told me to stop it.. How can I fix things when he don't even tell me whats wrong? And I don't believe that "I am too old for sex.." bullshit.

I am in the same situation.

 

[PersonalFavors]

My BF just turned 50, so he's not old. I keep telling him that, but he's just NOT intrested in sex at all. No matter what I say, how much I beg him for it or cry because of it.. He keep telling he's too old for it, which is BS bcs people have sex even in their 70s ffs. I just don't get it. I try not to push him too much, but after YEARS of nothing it's hard.

He HATES talking about it. But every now and then we do, cuz I make him. And I have to. Once you see people kissing and hugging or having sex, holding hands etc and it makes you cry I guess it's time to talk about it. I can't help how I feel and it sadness me deeply that he doesn't seem to care? Or why else he wouldn't HUG me when I BEG him too? How can he say he loves me and then be so cold.. I don't understand and I never will.

I know I am different than him. I am very cuddly person while he is obviously not, but hug a person you claim you love and who is begging you for it shouldn't be THAT HARD no? It makes me feel as he wouldn't touch me even with a stick and that hurts.. I know I am not the pretiest person or skinny, but I was like this already when he fall in love with me. I have not change THAT much so he couldn't even bloody touch me now.

I love him still the same as I did 15 years ago, but maybe it's different for men. Maybe they always get bored of their partner as the years go by. Idk..

I am not sure if he realise that, but the more he rejects me the more he pushes me towards someone elses arms. I miss things and I miss them real bad. I told him eye to eye, sent him lots of emails about it as well, but nothing helps. He decided we won't have sex and wants me to go with it. I don't know if I can nor if I want too. Hell, I am still too young to live like a nun + this no sex no touch makes me mega depressed.

I have noooo idea how to proceed. How to make him like me again. If thats even posssible. Idk.. Life sucks sometimes.

I've asked him last night if he would want me again if I lose some weight? He told me to stop it.. How can I fix things when he don't even tell me whats wrong? And I don't believe that "I am too old for sex.." bullshit.

I'm 59 [she 48] and we still have a great sex life. I just miss a good blow job for no reason and wish she wanted her pussy licked instead of insisting I fuck like a work out.

 

[Capecodguy2023]

Been with so for a long time, she think it’s fine not to have sex for years . I disagree , sex might not be the mist important thing in a relationship but zero isn’t good either

 

[KeenVoyeur]

Looking for a married man 35 or older who wants a side piece. Discretion is key. Me: Married, 42 female, blonde hair, blue eyes, 5 foot 7, 140 lbs, 34DDs, professional that works from home. Love to send nudes and fulfill dirty/taboo/kinky fantasies that you aren't getting at home. Limits negotiable.

Sadly I guess you're not within a 20 minute drive of my office ... although the latter part of your post is interesting

 

[Britva415]

Sometimes it happens: Sexless for years now, my wife recently said I could get sex outside the marriage.

Woohoo.

 

[Mtnmike]

Does a few times a year count as sexless?

Yes it does, from a legal standpoint anything less than 10-12 time's in a 12 month period is considered sexless.

 

[Crownvic]

Yes it does, from a legal standpoint anything less than 10-12 time's in a 12 month period is considered sexless.

Absolutely right....you deserve more than once a month..

 

[Crownvic]

Get yourself a babe..on the side to fill the vacancy...

 

[Mtnmike]

Get yourself a babe..on the side to fill the vacancy...

True but not as easy for a man as it is for women

 

[Crownvic]

True but not as easy for a man as it is for women

Your right...but they are out there...

 

[umabawnr]

I'm sure there's a whole spectrum from the sexlessness that many of us here are experiencing all the way to up to a frequency that sounds hard to believe, like daily. Has anyone seen data that shows a distribution of how often couples do it? I've seen a few bits and pieces about that's "normal" for sex to happen less with age. I see that in myself as far as my desire goes. Though I might think about sex almost as much as ever, I don't get drooling-horny as much.

Now at 55, that might only happen weekly or a few times per month. But, in our case, the time between our encounters has to be measured in years so even if I'm only a "monthly" at this point (55 yrs), a frequency of 18-42 months is not *quite* enough. My wife agrees but basically seems so disinterested (62 yrs) that I don't even bring it up anymore and am not even sure I would respond if she wanted me to. Sad. I've said and she agreed, that we could be so much more but we just aren't.

Sad but I find it hard to picture myself actually having an extramarital relationship. I start down that path in my mind and it seems impossible at some point. And that's even IF IF iF I could find someone. Frustrating, still.

 

[TomSenior2021]

Marriage isn't sexless, but there is much less sex than I would want. Love playing online to explore and push boundaries. Not sure I would ever do anything in person, never say never, but it would really have to be something hot.

 

[Crownvic]

I help a married guy who doesn’t get anywhere near enough at home.

Sometimes we need a little help....

 

[Britva415]

from a legal standpoint anything less than 10-12 time's in a 12 month period is considered sexless.

Not just legal, this yardstick is also used in marriage and family counseling. It's possible that there's a reason those yardsticks match. Could the law have followed the psychologists' assessment or could the psychologists' definition have followed the law? The latter seems more likely but I don't know.

 

[Starfire6369]

What exactly is meant by "legal standpoint "? Grounds for divorce or an excuse to have an affair. Seriously interested, not being facetious.

 

[Sams_Island]

So many things can lead to this libido imbalance, from either side, especially as we age. As long as it's not a straight-out, I don't love you anymore, then the first thing I recommend is, Talk About It. For example, if your partner has trouble working up the desire or ability to make love, are they willing to be part of your masturbation?
"Honey, I understand you're dealing with issues, but I'd still like you to be the main thing in my mind when I play with myself."
It's surprising how much more satisfying it is if you don't have to hide, but can do it right alongside them with just your hand on a bare ass.

 

[KateAt55]

Already had one. Pass.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

My wife's justification for no sex ... "I know you fucked another woman - and one I don't particularly like very much - but you can stay here if you understand I will never have sex with you again"

I'm a coward so I stayed (she would have bled me dry in a divorce) ... but my desire for something outside the marriage is as high as it ever was although nothing has happened yet.

 

[PersonalFavors]

I'm sure there's a whole spectrum from the sexlessness that many of us here are experiencing all the way to up to a frequency that sounds hard to believe, like daily. Has anyone seen data that shows a distribution of how often couples do it? I've seen a few bits and pieces about that's "normal" for sex to happen less with age. I see that in myself as far as my desire goes. Though I might think about sex almost as much as ever, I don't get drooling-horny as much.

Now at 55, that might only happen weekly or a few times per month. But, in our case, the time between our encounters has to be measured in years so even if I'm only a "monthly" at this point (55 yrs), a frequency of 18-42 months is not *quite* enough. My wife agrees but basically seems so disinterested (62 yrs) that I don't even bring it up anymore and am not even sure I would respond if she wanted me to. Sad. I've said and she agreed, that we could be so much more but we just aren't.

Sad but I find it hard to picture myself actually having an extramarital relationship. I start down that path in my mind and it seems impossible at some point. And that's even IF IF iF I could find someone. Frustrating, still.

I was never promiscuous, but had my share of extracurricular pussy. After 50 i have found that many women want to but are very protective of what they have. From a financial standpoint we all are at a point in our life plan that a miss hap could make us very poor. Thus not worth the risk? I've only had one fling that was short lived as neither of us could get caught. The other one time event was when a neighbor was moving back in after her kids were living in the house. Her and her sister were carrying furniture and I helped. Later there was a knock at my door. The sister gave me one of the most amazing blow jobs. I bent her over and did her from behind. Never saw her again... Anyway I know I still have it. Just can't seem to find where to get it.

 

[Texxx58]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

It socks when one day u both are in a teasing n pleasing marathon. n the next ur being pushed away n told no. been like that for a year n a half.she gets mad if she sees a port in DVD player. Or is it's on my phone. To her I'm cheating on her. That's when the fighting escalates.
That's why I'm in search of an strictly online affair.

 

[HampshireBoy]

So many things can lead to this libido imbalance, from either side, especially as we age. As long as it's not a straight-out, I don't love you anymore, then the first thing I recommend is, Talk About It. For example, if your partner has trouble working up the desire or ability to make love, are they willing to be part of your masturbation?
"Honey, I understand you're dealing with issues, but I'd still like you to be the main thing in my mind when I play with myself."
It's surprising how much more satisfying it is if you don't have to hide, but can do it right alongside them with just your hand on a bare ass.

With my first wife trying to talk was no good, she just wasn't interested in sex except very rarely on her terms.

With my current wife, she feels very guilty that her lack of desire and illness means there is no sex. We tried me masturbating whilst stroking her but it just weird to both of us, still as least she suggested it and tried. So now I'm pretty sure that she knows that often when she is having her afternoon nap I'm watching or reading porn and getting myself off but I keep it secret as I don't want her thinking of herself as a failure (which is her word for the situation).

 

[10169kek]

With my first wife trying to talk was no good, she just wasn't interested in sex except very rarely on her terms.

With my current wife, she feels very guilty that her lack of desire and illness means there is no sex. We tried me masturbating whilst stroking her but it just weird to both of us, still as least she suggested it and tried. So now I'm pretty sure that she knows that often when she is having her afternoon nap I'm watching or reading porn and getting myself off but I keep it secret as I don't want her thinking of herself as a failure (which is her word for the situation).

At least you weren't told that "I have no interest, no desire, you have a hand, handle it".... no discussion allowed after that.