Sexual Mishaps

[haventdonethat]

Not sure if this is considered a mishap or not; could be to some not so much to others.

Wife was sucking on our friend while I watched and stroked a bit, wife reached up to help, gave me one stroke causing me to shoot a big rope of cum that hit friend just above his navel.

We laughed about it afterwards.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Before I was married and was dating I always dated outside my group of friend. I just never thought it was a good idea especially if they had previously dated a friend of mine. I’d call this inbreeding. So I was good friends with a girl in my group, I thought nothing of it. We’d go out party get drunk and pass out at one of our houses usually in the same bed. One night I woke up and she had grabbed on to me And was snuggling. I didn’t really think much of it. Well it became the norm. One day we were drinking and she says ya know we spend a lot of time together and get along maybe we should hook up. I threw every excuse I had, telling her it will end out friendship even telling her I can’t cum while wearing a condom so sex is more of a bigger deal for me than just a hook up. She had an answer for everything. Her last thing she said was we dont have to tell anybody. That kinda made me feel bad And back then I was an ass. Anyways a couple weeks later we were drunk and in bed and she’s snuggled up to me. This time she was touchy and kissing on me. So we had sex And right after I came still inside her I heard those 3 dreaded words, I love you. I lost a friend that day.

Until you settle down sex partners will come and go(no pun intended) but a real friend is rare.

 

[Wonderer67]

I've told this one before. In college we were always looking to save a buck or two. A friend in the dorm worked in the pharmacy of a big hospital. He said he could get us condoms for cheap. $5 for a box that would cost $20 was not bad. My roommate and I each bought a box.

My first chance to use these cheap condoms came on a Friday night. My busty girlfriend and I were fucking in her giant boat of a car in a vast, unlit parking lot. She pushed me back on the back seat and straddled by sheathed cock and began riding me. Her big tits with those long, thick nipples had me ready to blow my wad in no time. As I was building to my explosion, I suddenly realized how good it felt and glanced down to see the shredded condom at the base of my cock. I lifted my girlfriend off my cock and blew my wad all over her tits. Fortunately, I had dodged a bullet.

Later, I was talking with my roommate. I mentioned that the cheap condom I used broke. My roommate told me his did too! A first for both of us. The lesson? You get what you pay for.

Wasn’t there an episode of Seinfeld like that? Kramer was giving away or selling condoms that were substandard…

 

[Wonderer67]

Sometimes, when my wife rides me, she has powerful squirting orgasms and sort of has to stand up on the bed. It’s like she can’t take it anymore so just needs my penis outside of her. (I am not that large in actuality, it’s just a muscular contraction thing.) She often puts her hands on the ceiling to steady herself while sort of recovering.

A few years ago, she was riding me and got up after having an intense, gushing orgasm. She got off me, spread her hands up in the air to reach for the ceiling.

The only problem was that the ceiling fan was close by, it was also on. I told her to be very careful, since it’s not usually on. It hit the back of her hand. It surprised her so much, that she also fell off the bed.

It happened in slow motion for me down below on the bed. Like I could see it happening and unfolding, but she didn’t hear me in time.

Luckily, her ego was more hurt than her hand or anything else. The fall off the bed did not hurt her either, thankfully. It actually could have been really bad, but glad no one got seriously hurt. Just a painful bruise on the back of her hand.

Sex can be dangerous!!

 

[Nightspeed]

From September of 1986 to March of 1987 was a mishap. A huge, awful cluster foxtrot of a mishap.

Another mishap story: I'm heading for the entry age of senior citizenship this year and for the last several years I've had to deal with ED. My girlfriend of a few years ago learned to work around that and we still had really good sex in spite of it. But one afternoon we were fooling around and I felt Mini Me waking up. She had been stroking my dick when it started and she enthusiastically began to jerk it faster. Suddenly I felt a pain like what I think being shot with a gun feels like. She bent my unexpectedly erect dick into a 90 degree angle which she evidently didn't even notice and with the next stroke it straightened out again and she just kept yanking until I came.

The pain didn't last long but when I got up to go pee there was blood and even some sort of fleshy tissue pouring out of my dick. I didn't say a thing about it to her because she would have freaked out to the point of needing an ambulance. Fortunately, that was our last sexy session of the weekend as she left to go back home soon after. The bloody urine and tiny bits of tissue lessened over the next two days and there doesn't seem to be any permanent damage. I was also soooo glad that there was none of that stuff in my ejaculate. She would've fainted from shame and embarrassment.

 

[xdresssissytoes]

We all love blooper clips or seeing when someone else gets hurt, so I figured this may be a fun thread.

I have quite a few to share but will start with this one that really stands out to me for obvious reasons.

I was with an old boyfriend of mine and he was doing me doggie, was so good, he was pounding me real hard but then his cock slipped out of my pussy and he rammed it in my ass. Worst pain of my life, he was big, I was dry hence my emphasis on lube these days.

His response was he didn't know my holes were so close, really this wasn't your first time with a woman dumbass? Ended the night on a real low and I didn't spend the night, I was pretty sore and really pissed.

I hope you sent him an anatomy book as a farewell gift!

 

[Christy2Cum]

I hope you sent him an anatomy book as a farewell gift!

I didn't want to help his dumb ass

 

[gtnlynn]

My most embarrassing event when having sex was on our wedding night. We had been dating almost 8 years with lots of "almost sex', but never actually doing it. I promised her that I loved her too much to risk getting her pregnant. Her college dates were not so considerate, and she had lots of sex before we became engaged. On our wedding night, she walked into the room wearing a sheer white peignoir that was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I couldn't wait to get her naked and ease my cock into her the first time. I barely got it in before I shot my load. Oops! Fortunately, I lasted longer during the next six times we fucked that night.

My most painful mishap was when we were doing doggy and I forgot which side of the bed we were on. I sat back and fell off the bed, hitting my head on the night stand and almost knocking me out.

 

[GikiceGikice69]

I pulled my hamstring back in the nineties ,whilst on a hotel building site with my sister
Two vagrants were watching and wanking,whilst inching closer and closer

 

[IARainman]

I think the phrase “whilst on a hotel building site with my sister ” requires substantially more detail…

 

[IARainman]

This didn’t happen to me but to my husband, Sam.

He was just 18 and had started dating a girl from his works, she too was 18. Sam had borrowed his dads car and the two of them had gone down to the coast for the day. On the way back, they decided to stop and back the car in to a field to hide it behind a hedge away from prying eyes as they got in the back well a bit of kissing and groping so led to Sam kneeling between her spread thighs, his jeans and pants around his ankles, her tits out of her top, her skirt up around her waist and the gusset of her knickers pulled to one side. And as he put it he was trusting away for all his inexperienced worth, going at it hammer and tongs ball deep and no technique lol.

Well once they had finished and gotten themselves redressed, they decided that they best be getting home. They got back in the front and were just about to drive off when she realised she had left her purse in the back. Sam turned on the interior light and turned to reach in to the back to retrieve it, he froze, because on the light upholstery of his dads car was a big wet patch not only wet but with some very dark staining.

The wetness was a mixture of her womanly juices and blood where period had come on a few days earlier than she had be expecting.

What did he do? Concoct some story about having rescued a wounded hedgehog?

 

[LustyScribe]

One of our greatest mishaps: About 20 years ago, the wife and I were at a marriage retreat event out of town with our church. We get frisky in our hotel room, I just get a few strokes into her from behind and she cries out in pain.

No, I'm not that big. Not even on a good day.

I pull out (at her SUGGESTION) and find both of us covered in blood.

Turns out that was when an ovarian cyst she didn't know she had decided to burst. Looked like a crime scene or something.

We chose not to bring it up to the others, at least not the method of "discovery."

 

[BiWifeMyrtleBeach]

I was reminded of a mishap my husband and I had about six months after we moved in our new home. Like many couples, we sometimes will bring toys or other items in the mix for a change up and some spice in the bedroom. Earlier that day we had visited a local adult book store, purchased several toys, one of which being a cock sleeve covered in little nubs. I must admit to have been a bit wet, just thinking of my husbands cock wrapped with that sleeve sliding in and out of me. When the time came later that day when we were naked and in the bedroom, we had an extended session of foreplay before I lay back, legs spread while my husband lubed his cock and began pulling the sleeve on himself. The one he had was open on both ends, and the sight of his wearing that sleeve on his thick manhood was one of the sexiest things i had ever seen. It wrapped nearly the entire length of his manhood except his cockhead that stuck out an inch or so. Soon I was experiencing a toe curling fucking while he pistoned his cock in and out of me. The nubs were massaging every inch of my pussy walls and honestly I was in head shaking , squealing pleasure, gripping his biceps, begging him to fuck me harder. Then it happened.

Deep inside me, the sleeve ripped and came off his cock! He pulled out and told me what had happened. I gasped as he began to search inside me with his fingers. I was a mix of scared to death and horny as fuck as he searched and for a second or two, I was afraid we would end up going to the emergency room to have it retrieved. Finally, he found it, and pinching one end pulled it out of me, tossing it to the floor. He asked if I was OK, to which I responded by telling him, "Fuck yes now get your dick back in me!!" He laughed and in seconds his cock was buried deep fucking his horny bitch of a wife till we both were satisfied. Well, for the moment.

We still own a couple of ribbed sleeves, but when he fucks me with them, he keeps a good eye to make sure it isn't coming off. I still love the feel of them.

 

[lighterman75]

Going back nearly 30 years, my gf at the time was a first year, I was a super mature 2nd year at university. Normally we’d fuck in her place at halls, mostly to rub her flat mates noises in it that she was getting some, they weren’t. Actually got her back to mine for once, been 69-ing, before we slipped a condom on, and got at it. We are the wrong way round, so head at the foot end of the bed. I get a bit active, and somehow catch my forehead on the corner of the chest of drawers. I go ouch, then realise I’ve split my forehead. Got an inch long gash. Gf is pissing herself laughing at the incident, then realised I’m bleeding. Completely lost momentum. Headwounds bleed heavily. Looked like a murder scene She’s still giggling as she patches me up. There was no more action that night. Not sure we ever ducked in that bed again after that.

 

[cubbyfire04]

Wound up in the ER after a violent orgasm from my wife while going down on her resulted in me receiving a pretty severe corneal abrasion. Flailing arms and long, sharp fingernails are dangerous weapons

 

[Baldo_bearded]

Was getting finished off with her blowing me. I was standing over the bed, she was sitting on it. I came hard, and immediately fell forward. Sound up with the orgasm pulsating between us.

Luckily she liked it that way, though wasn't fond of almost being crushed.

 

[Wonderer67]

Wound up in the ER after a violent orgasm from my wife while going down on her resulted in me receiving a pretty severe corneal abrasion. Flailing arms and long, sharp fingernails are dangerous weapons

Similar story… my wife and her late husband.

She cums very violently sometimes, and he was going down on her, and she knocked one of his teeth out…

She is always gun-shy of me pleasuring her orally all the way to orgasm.

 

[Not Normal]

I was reminded of a mishap my husband and I had about six months after we moved in our new home. Like many couples, we sometimes will bring toys or other items in the mix for a change up and some spice in the bedroom. Earlier that day we had visited a local adult book store, purchased several toys, one of which being a cock sleeve covered in little nubs. I must admit to have been a bit wet, just thinking of my husbands cock wrapped with that sleeve sliding in and out of me. When the time came later that day when we were naked and in the bedroom, we had an extended session of foreplay before I lay back, legs spread while my husband lubed his cock and began pulling the sleeve on himself. The one he had was open on both ends, and the sight of his wearing that sleeve on his thick manhood was one of the sexiest things i had ever seen. It wrapped nearly the entire length of his manhood except his cockhead that stuck out an inch or so. Soon I was experiencing a toe curling fucking while he pistoned his cock in and out of me. The nubs were massaging every inch of my pussy walls and honestly I was in head shaking , squealing pleasure, gripping his biceps, begging him to fuck me harder. Then it happened.

Deep inside me, the sleeve ripped and came off his cock! He pulled out and told me what had happened. I gasped as he began to search inside me with his fingers. I was a mix of scared to death and horny as fuck as he searched and for a second or two, I was afraid we would end up going to the emergency room to have it retrieved. Finally, he found it, and pinching one end pulled it out of me, tossing it to the floor. He asked if I was OK, to which I responded by telling him, "Fuck yes now get your dick back in me!!" He laughed and in seconds his cock was buried deep fucking his horny bitch of a wife till we both were satisfied. Well, for the moment.

We still own a couple of ribbed sleeves, but when he fucks me with them, he keeps a good eye to make sure it isn't coming off. I still love the feel of them.

I got a sleeve in a "random toy" purchase recently that has a loop to go around the balls, I assume to keep it in place. It also has a bullet vibe. My gf isn't interested in it.

 

[CandiIcreme]

I went to a New Year's party and quite a few friends were there and so we were having a lot of drinks and doing a fair amount of shots. The night was winding down and I was preparing to go to my room with my boyfriend and have some fun when one of my friends there wanted to talk to me in private. We went into her room and she vented to me about how a guy we knew was basically being turned into a puppet by his super controlling wife and now she was getting pissed if he was even friends with other women. The vent session last about an hour between us giving being really drunk and it being late at night to hit my system.

I finally left her room and made my way to my room where an eager and horny boyfriend was waiting for me. We started with some kissing and he undid the pants I wearing at the time while sliding his hand inside of my underwear. It was at this point I passed out cold. Not my finest moment in bed.

 

[LIDiver]

Had a few, but one I remember when I was on a river tubing trip with a bunch of friends. Myself and one buddy had befriended two bikini-clad hotties while on the river, which got more and more friendly as the float progressed. By the end, they'd agreed to come back to our rented house with us to party, which would lead to more fun.

So I'm in the back seat of his truck with my girl making out as he's hauling ass on this bumpy country dirt road for four or five miles to where we were staying. She ends up straddling me as I'm leaned back against the seat and we're going at it when my buddy hits this huge dip in the road without slowing down and the truck takes a huge bounce. Unfortunately, this happens at just the same time I had my tongue buried deep in her mouth....in fact, I think she was sucking it.....and when we hit the dip in the road, the bounce caused her to bite the fuck out of my tongue midway back on the left side. It hurt like holy hell and temporarily killed the mood and it bled and bled and bled. She was so apologetic, but it was hardly her fault. It finally stopped bleeding a half hour or so later when we were back at the house and despite being sore as hell, it still worked fine and got plenty of use the rest of that day and night . It eventually totally healed, but was sore and noticeable for a good week afterward.

You should have given your buddy a tongue-lashing for driving like that!

 

[LIDiver]

High school girlfriend was “saving herself “ but we decided we would try our first blow job together. In my car, in her driveway. Started out well for a couple of inexperienced teenagers, until I came in her mouth. First her cheeks blew up, than her eyes got wider than her cheeks, she quickly pulls off, hacks up cum all over me, and YELLS, “Ewwww gross!” while I’m still spurting everywhere like a teenager can.
She gets out, and runs into her house gagging all the way.
Took me about a half hour to realize that I guess she’s not coming back, so I left.
We never even discussed it there on! And yes it’s safe to say that that was the last attempt from her.

 

[soflabbwlvr]

I know a woman who enjoys the occasional gangbang. She's a hot BBW with enormous breasts and fat juicy ass. She invites over 4-5 guys to take turns fucking her brains out. One time she invited me over for a parting starting at 2:00 in the afternoon. I got there ten minutes early -- these are parties where if you arrive late you might not be allowed in. She opens the door and invites me in, and then tells me the party is set for 3:00, but she wanted to spend some time alone with me before the other guys arrived. No objection from me.

She gets me something to drink, then we head to her bedroom. The AC wasn't working on my car, so I was pretty hot when I got there. She offered her shower, so I jumped in and rinsed off while she got undressed. A few minutes later we were in bed together. I went down on here and licked her to a quick orgasm, then she switched places and went down on me. It didn't take me long to get hard, and in no time wer were fucking. About ten minutes into it and her doorbell rang. I looked at her, and she said "wait here." I hear a guy's voice at the door, and a minute later she comes back to the bedroom with another guy. He had come early, hoping to spend some alone time with her before the party.

The other guy got undressed, and all three of us climbed onto the bed. She got on her hands and knees and started sucking the new guy, while I got behind her and resumed fucking her. This went on for about 10 minutes, The noise from the bedsprings filled the room, just drowning out our grunts, groans and moans. Suddenly the bed creaked, and then it collapsed. The wood strips along the rails that supported the bedsprings gave out, causing the bedsprings, mattress, and all three of us to crash to the floor. Luckily, no one was hurt--except the bed, which was ruined.

 

[lil_jenni]

I've told this story a couple of times before, but it always seems to be a hit...

I was giving a BJ. The guy had really long pubic hair, and it was tickling my nose the entire time. When he was about to blast, he shoved my head down. Now, I usually was (and am) fine with that. But some of those long hairs went up my nostrils. I fought against his hold and managed to pull away, but I could not stop the sneeze. Unfortunately, he had already filled my mouth. Cum went everywhere, including all over him. He was grossed out, and I was mortified. Also, my nasal cavity burned because a bunch of the cum had shot out of my nose. It was horrible.

 

[LIDiver]

I've told this story a couple of times before, but it always seems to be a hit...

I was giving a BJ. The guy had really long pubic hair, and it was tickling my nose the entire time. When he was about to blast, he shoved my head down. Now, I usually was (and am) fine with that. But some of those long hairs went up my nostrils. I fought against his hold and managed to pull away, but I could not stop the sneeze. Unfortunately, he had already filled my mouth. Cum went everywhere, including all over him. He was grossed out, and I was mortified. Also, my nasal cavity burned because a bunch of the cum had shot out of my nose. It was horrible.

that beat my bj story!

 

[lil_jenni]

that beat my bj story!

Actually, reading yours is why I decided to post it here.