Shaking - Exciting - Regret

[saintcero]

For me my first experience was like a wave, I started off extremely nervous and then grew in confidence as the experience progressed. My behavior became so overtly gay I even surprised myself - raising my knees, spreading my legs, presenting to another man in a way I would never have imagined myself doing. The real panic came when I felt my anus open and spread round his glans, it was then I was hit by a tidal-wave of shame - what if my friends and family find out I'd had a cock up my bum... That was the moment I jumped up and started making for the exit.

Once the tip touched my rosebud I was completely inflamed and had to have more. I’m glad I did too. But I also admit that the shame you felt lives inside me too. I would be crushed to be outed. It’s jut sex but society still feels otherwise. Don’t beat yourself up.

 

[tristantrotsky]

Before I took the plunge and started to completely experiment with men, I met up with guys and was totally prepared to get naked with them and more…. Then, at the moment of ‘truth’, I’d start to ‘shake’ and then chicken out. I missed several opportunities, but learned to be ‘okay’, then ‘good’ and finally ‘so fucking happy’ with ‘it’ and myself. It was all of the repression that I had to ‘shake’ off.

As an experienced teenage cocksucker I never had any problems with sucking cock, it was learning to lick pussy that was the great adventure that had me weak at the knees...

 

[Terrylipstick]

As an experienced teenage cocksucker I never had any problems with sucking cock, it was learning to lick pussy that was the great adventure that had me weak at the knees...

I wasn’t lucky enough to start in my teens, though I would have loved to meet an older mentor to teach/turn me then..

 

[CambridgeBi]

assuming you needed to stop and get dressed , you regained some confidence and continued the experience with some boundaries

Yes, I did get dressed before leaving
but I didn't continue. And I had a very slippery bottom on my journey home

But I also admit that the shame you felt lives inside me too. I would be crushed to be outed. It’s jut sex but society still feels otherwise. Don’t beat yourself up.

Thanks. I'm well over it now though, it was a long time ago. I did used to beat myself up over it though, sometimes for going as far as I did and other times for not going all the way

 

[tristantrotsky]

I wasn’t lucky enough to start in my teens, though I would have loved to meet an older mentor to teach/turn me then..

With care and consideration, and mutual respect, it can be a mind-expanding experience...

 

[Terrylipstick]

Just got to get that first one under your belt.

Yep

 

[Swuq]

For me my first experience was like a wave, I started off extremely nervous and then grew in confidence as the experience progressed. My behavior became so overtly gay I even surprised myself - raising my knees, spreading my legs, presenting to another man in a way I would never have imagined myself doing. The real panic came when I felt my anus open and spread round his glans, it was then I was hit by a tidal-wave of shame - what if my friends and family find out I'd had a cock up my bum... That was the moment I jumped up and started making for the exit.

I was fortunate in my 20s to have my first experiences as a fem bottom with an experienced top in his 50s. I admit that gay porn an alcohol helped take away any trepidation about submitting to him.

Once he fucked me I knew I would always be a bottom and that I would need to balance my alpha life with submission to dominant tops.

Frankly, the most intense orgasms have been with men although I love the pleasure of a woman.

 

[LostHorizon]

Some months ago while out of town i was on sniffies. I was talking with someone and i made the decision to go to that person hotel. I had never gone this far, i was shaking, i was hard as hell with pre cum leaking out and I got to the dudes hotel, went up the elevator, and when I walked out he already had his door open. As I walked in I started shaking, we layed on his bed, but i was too nervous to do anything, and i panicked and i left.

And now, I think of how it could have gone, and regret wasting his time and wish I would have pushed futher. I almost knew but I wasnt sure if the shaking was excitement and i needed to give it more time or if it was my body was saying no.

I dont know why i write this other than to see if anyone else has been in something similar.

Usually the panic and decision to bail happens before I get into the room. U the time I am that far I have committed and don’t regret anything.

 

[peter49parker]

I will say reading the responses has been exciting to say the least. Feel much more comfortable letting my mind wander. I love the stories in here and jacking off to them and I think that’s good for now

Let me say that your reaction is completely understandable. I was close to 60 when my sexual thoughts were beginning to include, the possibility of sucking another man's cock. At the time, I was chatting with a woman who was encouraging me to do it. We had started out, with messages back and forth, about me sharing my wife, with her husband and then there was this sudden shift in her focus. I must say, it was not entirely a new concept, but I had never let my mind really grasp what it would be like in reality. We were soon going 'full speed' ahead with this new fantasy, while I was searching out other men online to chat with. I had many prospective buddies, but they were all far enough away to make it impossible for a real life meeting. I did find the chatting to be very erotic and was soon watching a lot of gay porn and searching for someone close enough to actually meet.

It took close to 5 years to make that connection, and for me to commit to meet him, for coffee. He was everything he claimed to be, pleasant, clean, intelligent, friendly, and not at all pushy. He assured me that he did not want me to do anything I was uncomfortable with, knowing this was my first time meeting another man, for sex. Like you, I had a full course of emotions running through me. I was nervous, excited, scared, aroused. My knees were knocking and my voice was cracking as we got to see each other in person, and actually talk about sucking each other's cock.

We agreed to meet again, with the possibility of actually 'doing it,' when I blurted out that we should go somewhere, in his car, for a show and tell. That is the morning I became a cock sucker, and my only regret was that I waited for so long.

 

[phil1955]

Yep

It is like virginity. Once you have done it once, the next time is much easier.

 

[Renee1967]

Some months ago while out of town i was on sniffies. I was talking with someone and i made the decision to go to that person hotel. I had never gone this far, i was shaking, i was hard as hell with pre cum leaking out and I got to the dudes hotel, went up the elevator, and when I walked out he already had his door open. As I walked in I started shaking, we layed on his bed, but i was too nervous to do anything, and i panicked and i left.

And now, I think of how it could have gone, and regret wasting his time and wish I would have pushed futher. I almost knew but I wasnt sure if the shaking was excitement and i needed to give it more time or if it was my body was saying no.

I dont know why i write this other than to see if anyone else has been in something similar.

when in doubt, put that cock in your mouth

you'll have about 10 to 15 minutes to consider your your life choices

you might like it

 

[drobert44]

Are you married?

Me? No way!

 

[saintcero]

I went on a business trip with an ex boss. This was some contract work after we had both retired. After diner that evening, he asked if I wanted to go to his room. I didn’t at the time as I was just not ready and not attracted to him.

I have wondered what he had planned for me that evening and how it might have changed my life. He passed away so there is no way to ask him. Was he a bottom too? Did he want to make me his bitch. Not knowing is kind of haunting me.

 

[starfish71]

I wouldn’t worry about bailing… sure the other guy might be pissed, but you have to be ready to take the next step… getting to the hotel, up the elevator and in to the room, is a pretty big step to being with…

My first took many fits and starts before I finally pulled the bandaid off… (there is a post somewhere on here about it).

ETA: My story

 

[deucie]

Not the shaking. But the chickening out and then the regret. But after you go through with it all of that goes away. Try again and stay strong! lol