Should I beat her up?

[neci]

It can be ok...

very ok.

 

[cherubini]

Lit fact:

If you wait long enough, someone will eventually post what you want to hear.

Then you can agree with them and pretend it was all their idea.

Marquis, that's pretty much true anywhere you go.

But it's not what I want to hear that matters. It's what I need to hear. And I've heard it: The people on this board have made it loud and clear that my situation is hopeless. While I'm not exactly dancing in the streets right now, I am very thankful for the advice.

 

[Stella_Omega]

1) Is she actually submissive, or is she covert and passive-aggressive? Or does she simply get off on wearing an adorable rhinestone-studded collar once in a while?

2) Are you actually willing to dominate her, or is that just an idea you have in your head?

here's what my current theory is, mostly gleaned from conversations with a lot of het couples-- here and at fetlife and in real life.:

You can punish a sub for leaving "bruises on your heart," but not by beating them up. There are many magnificent punishments outlined all over the net.

You can scene with a sub and give them the hard physical attention that, it sounds like, your girl is craving, but that's not necessarily a punishment thing. For many subs and many people who aren't submissive at all, that would come under maintenance. And it's much healthier for you, her, and the relationship, to divorce that physical aspect from any set of consequences. Let the physical be part of a ritual of affirmation, so that it never turns into actionable battery.

The two of you will have to do some intense communicating and negotiating.You need to understand how she works if she wants you to work her. She has to take some responsibility for herself or else there's nothing worthwhile for her to hand over to you.

Umm... I had something else but it's gone and flown out of my head

 

[radepor]

I agree! Mutual assured destruction is Ok

As long as she goes into it knowing how badly she'll come out it and both you and she knows how badly she's going to abuse you - with a baseball bat? - perhaps it's Ok.

I don't much care for beating up women; where's the challenge?

If you back out AFTER beating her up, she get's a choice of having a large, unpleasant man castrate you or run over you with a car. Oh, and paying him with your money. Only fair, right?

Depends, is she going to beat you back?

 

[danigrl84]

No....just, no. You should continue to beat yourself up, and perhaps she will watch and be inspired to beat herself up. The two of you can then engage in mutual master"beat"ion.

 

[Honed_Hunger]

RanDom factoid as a blanket statement: One can hang up their Dom flag,tie their ''sub'' spread eagle,swing the cane............and still not be truly in control of the scene,nor the person who will wear the marks afterwards.

Just say'in.......