slut?

[catalina_francisco]

No offense to anyone, but the whole notion of "slut for one person" totally cancels the literal meaning of slut. Nympho, cock junkie, human blow up doll, wet hole, courtesan, toy, or fuckthing, yes, but "slut" -- how?

I bought this up once before (might have been in the Dissection Of A Slut thread) and it seemed few felt you had to be a slut in the literal sense to earn the title/name/whatever. I tend to be more on your wavelength Netz and think it strange when someone thinks or refers to themselves as a slut after admitting they have had a limited sex life to date, or are very particular about what they do with their SO, or have only had 1 or 2 sexual partners in their life and hope to keep it that way etc., etc. LOL, F doesn't have a problem referring to me as such but does have problems with some others doing it without his encouragement, and he is not put off by the fact I have the experience and drive to not be mistaken for an innocent dreaming of reaching slut status in their fantasies only.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

After reading the responses on the thread I figured what the hell, I'll chime in.

The use of the term "slut" as an endearment, or turn on, or whatever, falls in the category of things covered under "It may not be my kink, but if it's your kink, rock on."

It's a word, and sorry folks, but neither your sensibilities nor mine determine if someone else finds it hot, sexy, exciting, arousing, and a turn on. Or if they find it offensive, inappropriate, a turn off, disgusting.

It's just like using the word "nigger". From the right person in the right ear in the right context it could be the hottest little endearment ever.

By the wrong person in the wrong ear at the wrong time and you could spark riots.

It's called a double standard in some circles, hypocrisy in others, by some it's called "the way life works".

Whiskey tango foxtrot people? Snoop Dogg or 2Live Crew can use "nappy headed ho's" in a music video viewed by millions and it's okay... and Don Imus says it and he gets fired for it.

I can call one submissive play partner a "fucking cunt" and she gets drenched. But if I called janey one, stand back and call an ambulance because buddy, it would be ON!

If it works for you and yours use "slut" and enjoy! If it doesn't work for you, let it go and move along to the next tearm of endearment. Or humiliation. Or both.

Oh, I'm totally not harshing on it. I'm just explaining why, in my world, it doesn't work, doesn't open the floodgates etc. My play partner has always reacted to people's love of the word with the same "huh, ok, works for you?" that I have. Maybe I'm assimilating his stance on it.

 

[Netzach]

I bought this up once before (might have been in the Dissection Of A Slut thread) and it seemed few felt you had to be a slut in the literal sense to earn the title/name/whatever. I tend to be more on your wavelength Netz and think it strange when someone thinks or refers to themselves as a slut after admitting they have had a limited sex life to date, or are very particular about what they do with their SO, or have only had 1 or 2 sexual partners in their life and hope to keep it that way etc., etc. LOL, F doesn't have a problem referring to me as such but does have problems with some others doing it without his encouragement, and he is not put off by the fact I have the experience and drive to not be mistaken for an innocent dreaming of reaching slut status in their fantasies only.

Catalina

It's anyone's guess. I've been a sex worker, done stuff with probably upward of nine people, but I'm reticent and careful and not the easiest to get in bed either. My self-perception and reality is that I'm sexually a closed off person, so if the challenge to that idea is too wide-ranging it's just gonna come off silly. That's not to say that one could not humiliate me or get me going via the question of sexual availability or enthusiasm, but it's not going to be via using "slut" as an endearment.

 

[catalina_francisco]

It's anyone's guess. I've been a sex worker, done stuff with probably upward of nine people, but I'm reticent and careful and not the easiest to get in bed either. My self-perception and reality is that I'm sexually a closed off person, so if the challenge to that idea is too wide-ranging it's just gonna come off silly. That's not to say that one could not humiliate me or get me going via the question of sexual availability or enthusiasm, but it's not going to be via using "slut" as an endearment.

It would be either a brave or very stupid man who tried to insist on that for an endearment with you Netzach, and likely entertaining to watch the fallout he would incur if he mistakenly trod where others knew better than to tread.

Catalina

 

[bad_girl69]

when my master called me a slut. i always got these excitement shivers..lol.
i dont know really know wat the appeal is... it just is
i mean.. when u look at me.. does it look like im a slut?? nope didnt think so

 

[myinnerslut]

......

 

[h_i_s]

There aren't too many women in the middle of the road on the "slut" issue. I always find out before I use it.

That is the cutest fluffy little kitty you have there! I love how his furry little face looks like he ran face first into a brick wall...

 

[lk70]

Thanks so much everyone. I'm the last one to knock what someone else enjoys. I'm a big believer in do as you will. For me, I don't think it will appeal so I was curious why it might. Remains to be seen, though, as no one has used it yet.

I can surely appreciate dirty talk in the heat of things. That works wonders for me too, but being called something I think of as disrespectful doesn't count as dirty talk in my mind.

If it works for you, though, ROCK ON!

 

[SubKekiLee]

terms of endearment

There aren't too many women in the middle of the road on the "slut" issue. I always find out before I use it.

Im HIS slut but if anyone else called me that Id be thoroughly disgusted... It was hard at first to accept that since I had never been called that but when he uses it is to turn himself and me on and now it works.. so For me it is okay I do not know if it were to ever end and I got a new one if Id like it or not..

 

[Marquis]

In terms of verbal humiliation, the word "slut" can often pack an effective punch.

I've been having a lot of fun recently with my sub, who is very bisexual and a little insecure about being too butch. She's more of a pixie, but between her short hair, boyish clothing and oddball glasses she gets a lot of looks from lesbians.

We do some gender play where I call her a little faggot and such. Good times.

 

[the_pet]

Slut does nothing for me. K doesn't call me it, I'd laugh at him, since I've only ever been with him. I don't qualify as a slut. *shrugs*

My interpretation of the word is different from yours in that when i was a teenager "slut" was the girl who fucked many but as an adult the word means someone who agressive enjoys sex (eager, active, ravenous - can't get enough but not necessarily when a bunch of people, it could be with just one person).

My Pyl calls me a slut because i want to fuck all the time and because when i fuck, i fuck like i haven't fucked in years or that i may not ever fuck again. i WANT IT ALL when i'm fucking and thoroughly enjoy every minute of it and ravage him and his cock. A slut ENJOYS FUCKING, plain and simple, not necessarily fucking a bunch of different dudes (at least in my world)

 

[wenchhh]

Can I chime in here w/ my 2 cents? For me, being called a slut was very demeaning at first. I guess because I had a childhood where I was called one by the adults in my life, before I even knew what it meant. After a little bit tho, I softened on the "term of endearment" because I realized that my once Dom used it affectionately. As Sinnocent so succinctly put it:

"When He addresses me as such, He is saying:
"You are mine. I'm proud to own you. ......... and, OMG little girl, no one has ever sucked my cock so well and so eagerly in my whole life". --That's a LOT to say at the err... 'moment'. So, "You are my little slut, aren't you?" .. is easier for Him, or suits Him better, I'm happy to hear it. "

I agree with most tho, that if a casual aquaintance used those words, he'd be looking for his teeth on the sidewalk. Just one of those things, I guess.
Great topic, thanks for starting it, lk70.

 

[JMohegan]

In terms of verbal humiliation, the word "slut" can often pack an effective punch.

True for some, absolutely.

But for those who say it feels like a term of endearment/compliment for cock-sucking skills/praise for sexual enthusiasm in a monogamous relationship, it seems to pack all the punch of "princess". Clearly inaccurate from a literal standpoint, but pleasantly evocative nonetheless.

 

[BiBunny]

True for some, absolutely.

But for those who say it feels like a term of endearment/compliment for cock-sucking skills/praise for sexual enthusiasm in a monogamous relationship, it seems to pack all the punch of "princess". Clearly inaccurate from a literal standpoint, but pleasantly evocative nonetheless.

Yep, this is me. In all honesty, "princess" would probably piss me off more.

 

[h_i_s]

Yep, this is me. In all honesty, "princess" would probably piss me off more.

My thoughts too, BiBunny, kind of. Anyone could annoy me easily with that one, yeah.

Coming from my Master, if He ever calls me His 'princess' I'd most likely plead with Him to reconcider while in the process of giving it my best attempt to push the sour fluid back down, as it rises up past my esophagus.

It drums up visions of Barbies and Cinderella etc.. --not my cup of tea.

 

[SubKekiLee]

My interpretation of the word is different from yours in that when i was a teenager "slut" was the girl who fucked many but as an adult the word means someone who agressive enjoys sex (eager, active, ravenous - can't get enough but not necessarily when a bunch of people, it could be with just one person).

My Pyl calls me a slut because i want to fuck all the time and because when i fuck, i fuck like i haven't fucked in years or that i may not ever fuck again. i WANT IT ALL when i'm fucking and thoroughly enjoy every minute of it and ravage him and his cock. A slut ENJOYS FUCKING, plain and simple, not necessarily fucking a bunch of different dudes (at least in my world)

Thank you the pet... YOU hit the nail right on the head..

 

[JMohegan]

Yep, this is me. In all honesty, "princess" would probably piss me off more.

Personally I find it cloying, but there are clearly some who relish this appellation as a term of endearment.

Of course, with a different tone & context, "princess" is also sometimes used in a very disparaging way.

 

[Netzach]

In terms of verbal humiliation, the word "slut" can often pack an effective punch.

I've been having a lot of fun recently with my sub, who is very bisexual and a little insecure about being too butch. She's more of a pixie, but between her short hair, boyish clothing and oddball glasses she gets a lot of looks from lesbians.

We do some gender play where I call her a little faggot and such. Good times.

This is just more interesting to me. Overtly hetero couple with a girl named "faggot" is not on the list of 100 ideas in the BDSM mental starter kit. It always has a note of "huh?" about it, and has the potential to really challenge the ID of the bottom and play on insecurities also not on the same list.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

There aren't too many women in the middle of the road on the "slut" issue. I always find out before I use it.

Yup. I do the same.

 

[catalina_francisco]

My interpretation of the word is different from yours in that when i was a teenager "slut" was the girl who fucked many but as an adult the word means someone who agressive enjoys sex (eager, active, ravenous - can't get enough but not necessarily when a bunch of people, it could be with just one person).

My Pyl calls me a slut because i want to fuck all the time and because when i fuck, i fuck like i haven't fucked in years or that i may not ever fuck again. i WANT IT ALL when i'm fucking and thoroughly enjoy every minute of it and ravage him and his cock. A slut ENJOYS FUCKING, plain and simple, not necessarily fucking a bunch of different dudes (at least in my world)

I think it is one of those many words which has been adapted to mean what people want it to mean for them. For us, slut still means someone who not only enjoys fucking (but also may not necessarily do it for enjoyment), but will and/or has fucked many and not always out of love and monogamy. I fit all those categories as having been my lived reality and he enjoys playing with it and taking away the control I once had to choose and often 'take' what I wanted in the moment to now be taken by who he chooses when he chooses in whatever way he chooses.

I am not one who likes to apply it based solely on the fact someone enjoys sex as I believe that applies negative connotations to sexuality as a natural part of our lives to inferring it is an oddity and something to be avoided...sort of like the old school of thought that good girls don't like sex under any circumstances, and I just can't support that line of thinking in life.

Catalina

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Context

I think it all depends on the context of where and when the word is used.

When I start talking to a woman in intimate terms, at some point I ask what words bother her and in what context. Personally I prefer and enjoy dirty talk during foreplay, sex and teasing.

 

[PrimalGirl]

Would I want just ANYONE to call me a slut?- no- BUT, it can certainly "amp up" the level of play when used by someone special.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think it all depends on the context of where and when the word is used.

When I start talking to a woman in intimate terms, at some point I ask what words bother her and in what context. Personally I prefer and enjoy dirty talk during foreplay, sex and teasing.

True to a degree, but if we throw the meaning of words out to suit what we want them to mean according to our particular personal kinky twich factor in the moment, no-one ends up knowing what anyone means without a long dialogue about the meaning according to that particular person and then how do we know the words they use to describe what they mean have the same meaning we and most understand if they are in the habit of assigning their own unique meanings to words? Sure would make my learning Dutch a whole lot more difficult if I couldn't count on each word having a set of assigned meanings everyone understands as opposed to what they choose it to mean based on their own personal choice/view.

Catalina

 

[Marquis]

This is just more interesting to me. Overtly hetero couple with a girl named "faggot" is not on the list of 100 ideas in the BDSM mental starter kit. It always has a note of "huh?" about it, and has the potential to really challenge the ID of the bottom and play on insecurities also not on the same list.

I enjoy it. It takes on the form of "discovering" that she is a female, think "Boys Don't Cry"


*pull down pants roughly and smirk at engorged clit*

"You call this a dick? You're never going to be able to fuck a woman with that thing little boy. Bend over and I'll show you what a man feels like."

 

[BiBunny]

I enjoy it. It takes on the form of "discovering" that she is a female, think "Boys Don't Cry"


*pull down pants roughly and smirk at engorged clit*

"You call this a dick? You're never going to be able to fuck a woman with that thing little boy. Bend over and I'll show you what a man feels like."

Oooh...I'm in lust. I think I've just found something else His Royal Chunkiness and I need to play with. Thank you!