So you want to write a Villanelle....

[BooMerengue]

I wrote a Villanelle once. I should do more; I find them relatively easy since the rhyme pattern tells you where you have to go next. Which is fine if thats where you want to go! I just like them to lead me ...

The Fall

One cannot know what depths a soul may seek.
The days unwinding leaves its tortured mark
As night looks on, yet does not dare to speak.

This wearied traveler, though his heart is weak
Will stumble blindly, groping in the dark.
One cannot know what depths a soul may seek.

What questions does he scream, what havoc wreak
Upon the madness, searching for a spark
As night looks on, yet does not dare to speak?

Does evil triumph, sharpening her beak?
While others laugh and say its all a lark!
One cannot know what depths a soul may seek.

His journey, then, though he thinks it unique
Is Everymans, and hence will all embark
As night looks on, yet does not dare to speak,

This traveler, questing, steps out on the peak
And plunges, gladly, far down to the scarp.
One cannot know what depths a soul may seek,
As night looks on, yet does not dare to speak.

Mine tend to be a bit dark, but I just let my mind go where it is lead, so maybe I'm a bit dark... hmmm

Fooly? Make this a Challenge! Give us a topic and a due date! be the 1st of I hope many challenges this year. It's a great way to teach!

 

[Guest]

Re: Ok My Fool

I just wrote it now--for your thread baby. A "What Am I" villanelle.



What lies betwixt the day and night,
and falls most gentle to the sea
to fade horizon from our sight,

pulling a blanket over light,
and hastening as hours flee?
What lies betwixt the day and night,

playing a trick as if a slight
of sky woudst play a trick on thee
to fade horizon from our sight,

closing dark curtains on the blight
of human storm and misery?
What lies betwixt the day and night

in amethyst and tangerine, the wight
that ushers eventide, moans in painless agony
to fade horizon from our sight?

The day must end. The stars glow bright
signposts to sleep, to pillows' plea.
What lies betwixt the day and night
to fade horizon from our sight?

Speechless! That's so good for an "instant" Villanelle!

 

[Angeline]

Re: Re: Ok My Fool

Speechless! That's so good for an "instant" Villanelle!

(it kind of amazed me, too...it was a total brain fart)

 

[The_Fool]

Okay.

I have been toying with the idea of a same title challenge. So as soon as I come up with a suitable title (as in off the wall), I will issue a challenge.

I think I will make the villanelle part an extra credit opportunity. Don't want people to turn down a challenge because of the form.

 

[HomerPindar]

"The Jesus Christ of the Undocumented."


I love that line.

 

[jthserra]

"The Jesus Christ of the Undocumented."


I love that line.

I wish I could claim it, that was what the statue was called by the masses, a borrowed line for my poem. With 11 syllables and the "ed" it didn't fit my form, but the line was too vital not to use.


jim : )

 

[The Mutt]

Go Gentle (answering Dylan Thomas)

We cannot rise ‘less those before us fall,
for like the sprout that springs from sanguine soil,
each death is life, each dirge a newborn’s squall.

The rose is watered by death’s stinging gall,
each grave’s a furrow tilled by living’s toil,
we cannot rise ‘less those before us fall.

The fallen tree becomes our hallowed hall,
the bones of dinosaurs become our oil,
each death is life, each dirge a newborn’s squall.

Upon our fathers’ shoulders stand we tall,
we trade calm mother’s-love for passion’s roil,
we cannot rise ‘less those before us fall.

Therefore, spend not your days in night’s dark thrall,
nor let the ticking clock your time despoil,
each death is life, each dirge a newborn’s squall.

The Reaper’s touch, seek not you to forestall,
for Death is Life’s companion, not her foil.
We cannot rise ‘less those before us fall;
each death is life, each dirge a newborn’s squall.

 

[The Poets]

Go Gentle (answering Dylan Thomas)

We cannot rise ‘less those before us fall,
for like the sprout that springs from sanguine soil,
each death is life, each dirge a newborn’s squall.

The rose is watered by death’s stinging gall,
each grave’s a furrow tilled by living’s toil,
we cannot rise ‘less those before us fall.

The fallen tree becomes our hallowed hall,
the bones of dinosaurs become our oil,
each death is life, each dirge a newborn’s squall.

Upon our fathers’ shoulders stand we tall,
we trade calm mother’s-love for passion’s roil,
we cannot rise ‘less those before us fall.

Therefore, spend not your days in night’s dark thrall,
nor let the ticking clock your time despoil,
each death is life, each dirge a newborn’s squall.

The Reaper’s touch, seek not you to forestall,
for Death is Life’s companion, not her foil.
We cannot rise ‘less those before us fall;
each death is life, each dirge a newborn’s squall.

I believe, my dear friend, that you need to submit this poem here:

The New Formalist


Ange

 

[The Mutt]

I believe, my dear friend, that you need to submit this poem here:

The New Formalist


Ange

Thank you, Milady. Let me ask: is it punctuated right?
I debated all day whether to use "newborn's squall" or "newborn's call". Squall is the right word, but it is an odd word, I know. Suggestions?

 

[sandspike]

I see cream coming to the top....

I'm not surprised, but I have waited for a thread to teach me
something. You guys have gotten into a wavelenght I almost
understand. Mr. Fool I am carrying a villanelle in my head as
soon as I find a pen I'll send it in. I have read some good stuff
here. This style is new to me and I love the way you guys already
know it or can through one out in a heart beat. Yep, this reply
is mainly to get me to 100 so I can have an av, but this
villanelle thing is something I've never see before and you guys
rock.

 

[Angeline]

Thank you, Milady. Let me ask: is it punctuated right?
I debated all day whether to use "newborn's squall" or "newborn's call". Squall is the right word, but it is an odd word, I know. Suggestions?

I am now--having just averted my child's adolescent crisis--available for editing.

I'll pm you with suggestions. Take 'em if you think they help, ok? (and I'll tell you about the hypersonnet too).


A.

 

[Angeline]

Re: I see cream coming to the top....

I'm not surprised, but I have waited for a thread to teach me
something. You guys have gotten into a wavelenght I almost
understand. Mr. Fool I am carrying a villanelle in my head as
soon as I find a pen I'll send it in. I have read some good stuff
here. This style is new to me and I love the way you guys already
know it or can through one out in a heart beat. Yep, this reply
is mainly to get me to 100 so I can have an av, but this
villanelle thing is something I've never see before and you guys
rock.

Hi Sandspike.

If you answer this, you'll be closer to 100 posts.

 

[The Mutt]

I am now--having just averted my child's adolescent crisis--available for editing.

I'll pm you with suggestions. Take 'em if you think they help, ok? (and I'll tell you about the hypersonnet too).


A.

Did you miss this one?
Hyperdulia

 

[Angeline]

Did you miss this one?
Hyperdulia

No! I'm just trying to do too many things at once and I'm getting sleepy.



tomorrow?

 

[The Mutt]

No! I'm just trying to do too many things at once and I'm getting sleepy.



tomorrow?

You are getting sleepy... very sleepy... very sleepy.... [color=sky blue]you will vote five on all Mutt's poems... [/color]very sleepy.....

 

[The_Fool]

Re: I see cream coming to the top....

I'm not surprised, but I have waited for a thread to teach me
something. You guys have gotten into a wavelenght I almost
understand. Mr. Fool I am carrying a villanelle in my head as
soon as I find a pen I'll send it in. I have read some good stuff
here. This style is new to me and I love the way you guys already
know it or can through one out in a heart beat. Yep, this reply
is mainly to get me to 100 so I can have an av, but this
villanelle thing is something I've never see before and you guys
rock.

Don't injure yourself by trying to force that poem out of your head with that pen. Let it come out naturally. I still have ink marks on my ear...

 

[Angeline]

Re: Re: I see cream coming to the top....

Don't injure yourself by trying to force that poem out of your head with that pen. Let it come out naturally. I still have ink marks on my ear...

oagre-ish stalk.

I wrote this one a long time ago. Trite, isn't it?

Villanelle Française

Amongst trees on an April night,
A hammock sways with lovers’ dance,
Illumed by phosphorescent light.

Their whispers float, their sighs alight
Whilst fingers creep in knowing trance,
Amongst trees on an April night.

In drum of heart, limbs shadowed bright,
They fall enjoined in circumstance,
Illumed by phosphorescent light.

Their rising calls are born in flight,
Bewitched by breeze by moon by France,
Amongst trees on an April night.

And thus enwrapped in rapture’s sight,
They cry, then hush to breath and glance,
Illumed by phosphorescent light.

The wax of silence seals the rite,
In sibilantly sweet romance,
Amongst trees on an April night,
Illumed by phosphorescent light.

 

[The Mutt]

I love the word
[color=dark blue]Illumed[/color]

 

[sandspike]

Here goes nothing

Watercolor Villanelle

I'm talking long and thin my beauty queen
all wrapped up in colors that soothe this bloke
aquamarine if you know what I mean

in constant motion staying fit and lean
its natural with her no drugs no smoke
I'm talking long and thin my beauty queen

with her I'm open my senses are seen
I wash in her hues wade in for a soak
aquamarine if you know what I mean

the view is the same but not the routine
what emotions shes able to provoke
I'm talking long and thin my beauty queen

one night with her and I feel like a teen
sunrise with is as bright as a yoke
aquamarine if you know what I mean

she is pale blonde sand with sea oats light green
my outer banks beauty my sweet Ocracoke
I'm talking long and thin my beauty queen
aquamarine if you know what I mean

(14 miles long and usually less than a mile wide,
thats the long and thin part.)

 

[The Mutt]

More Mutt Philosophy

Since when is it enough that we survive?
To whimper, "Well, at least I still remain?"
There's more to life than living, we must strive!

Is it heroic just to stay alive?
To live a life avoiding risk and pain?
Since when is it enough that we survive?

We pass our days as drones who serve the hive,
too meek to raise our voices or complain;
There's more to life than living, we must strive!

Have we surrendered all our fire and drive
to huddle in our caves and curse the rain?
Since when is it enough that we survive?

Our journey's goal is not just to arrive,
but leave our footprints far beyond the lane;
There's more to life than living, we must strive!

To build, to grow, to learn, to love, to thrive,
to soar to stellar heights before we wane.
Since when is it enough that we survive?
There's more to life than living, we must strive!



(can anyone suggest a good title?)

 

[foehn]

Good stuff guys! (& gals)...

I wrote a villanelle, and perhaps only one in my life. In the 80's I was working on an antique (honest) oil-drilling machine called a "spudder." It doesn't drill, it beats a hole into the ground with a chisel-pointed, multi-ton "bit" that is dropped repeatedly into a hole, chewing up rock, clay and soil, which mixes with water and is then baled out.

Part of the task of the "roughneck" in such a scenario is to be alert to anything that might go wrong. With tons of horribly expensive machinery and hundreds of horsepower at stake, even the poor roughneck's job assumes a weird importance.

I wrote a whole series of poems during this episode of my life, but the villanelle seemed particularly apropos for expressing the boring repetitiveness of the events of a workday on the rig, to wit:





If Something Breaks


The world seems up and down, around and around.
The tools drill with uneven, jarring licks.
I see the things. I listen to the sound.

I stand and hold the line and feel it pound.
Sometimes the bit drills out of a lime and sticks.
The world seems up and down, around and around.

The hole barks like the coughing of a hound.
If something breaks, I have something to fix.
I see the things. I listen to the sound.

Around the drilling drum the line is wound,
and when it moves, the drive chain slaps and clicks.
The world seems up and down, around and around.

I walk around the rig on frozen ground.
In town, the cords of wood are stacked in ricks.
I see the things. I listen to the sound.

The blocks clank on the mast where they are bound.
A leg of line pulls up, goes down and kicks.
The world seems up and down, around and around.
I see the things. I listen to the sound.



cheers!
/foehn

p.s. then too, the last two lines are supposed to expand into everyone's experience... who hasn't felt this?

 

[The Mutt]

Really well done, foehn.
To capture the minutia of the mundane and apply it to the world.
I really liked this.

 

[BooMerengue]

Well I guess theres no point havin a challenge, is there? You guys are so good. I like reading these things.

I guess I'll go think up a Challenge. uhhh, Lauren? Are you awake?

 

[The Mutt]

Re: Re: So you want to write a Villanelle....

Trerzanelle

A - refrain
B - repeton
A - refrain

b -
C - repeton
B - repeton

c -
D - repeton
B - repeton

d -
E - repeton
D - repeton

e
F - repeton
D - repeton

f
A - refrain or F - repeton
F - repeton or A - refrain
A A - regrain

Very similar, I think.

I'm not sure what all this means. I must have been staring at the co-ed in the tube-top when we covered that in class. Can you recommend an example?


Mmmm remember tube-tops and hip-huggers? Those were the days.

 

[The Mutt]

Anyone? Anyone? Beuller? Beuller?