Stupid (but sincere) Questions about the USA

[gracie920101]

Tipping is quite a topic even here in the US.

Women are notoriously poor tippers compared to men. I guess that means either we are more critical of the service rendered or we just feel it's not necessary.

I think what has occurred has been the notion that servers must "work for that tip" that has caused many to appear to hover over one's meal once it's delivered.

The whole point of tipping is to bestow money upon a person for good service. This has devolved and tipping has become so ingrained in American culture as to become expected rather than given as a reward. So much so, that many restaurants will include the "gratuity" in the total bill especially if there are more than 6 or 8 people in your party. Is this right? I don't know but I can see the point.

This practice is to "protect" the server from either getting stiffed on a tip after spending two hours waiting hand and foot on a demanding large party which pulls service away from other tables. Also, large parties may spend several hundred dollars on their food and beverages but only leave the server $10 or even less.

One of the biggest issues I have with tipping is the fact that it's expected. It should be my choice as to whether the server did an adequate job or better and reward accordingly. Also, a tip should be based on actual service and not the fact that you maybe didn't like your food. The tip is for service not food quality. They didn't cook it, they just delivered it! If you don't like the food, talk to the manager of the chef, don't take it out on the server.

Sorry for the rant. Believe it or not, I've never waited tables but I watch people. People can treat servers as 2nd class citizens not worth the air they breathe. People are horrible.

 

[Acktion]

This is so odd to me. I've heard this comment from Americans before and I always wonder why they need the waiter so much.

So... Why do you have to see a waiter after they've delivered the food and drinks?

Sure, sometimes you need a refill on your drink or have a complaint about your order or something. But at least to me most of the time I eat at a restaurant neither of those things happen. And when I need a waiter, I'll just ask for one. Not by using words per se, but with eye contact and such. It's rarely a problem. Besides, how likely is it that the waiter is there that exact moment when you need something?

In my (not extensive) experience of eating out in the US, the key points that differ from what I'm used to where I live are that in the US the waiters rattle out a loooong list of specials and recommendations even if you don't ask for them, there's the added pressure of having to figure out the tipping and they bring you the check even without asking.

Here you ask for the check, they don't just bring it to you. Which I much prefer, btw, because I feel such pressure to leave the place in the US the moment the check arrives. It feels to me like they're just wanting me to rush out of the door and not stay a moment extra, even in places that aren't remotely busy. I get that they they want to roll the table so that they can earn another tip, but still. Is 5-10 minutes or enough time to finish your drink too much to ask for? There have been times when I've finished my plate and still had a third of my beer left. They've brought the check and my panic reaction has basically forced me to chug the rest of the beer.

The service itself is about the same here and there. It's not as bubbly and chatty here, but the waiters swing by your table a while after bringing you your plate to ask if everything is OK with the food, they'll ask if you want another drink or dessert etc.

Maybe my expectations are super low and I'm used to shitty service, but I really don't see that big a difference in the service between here and where I've eaten in the US. Here tipping is not done at all, except by tourists.

I can recall an incident where the waiter walked away from our table right in the middle of ordering because some girls came in that he wanted to talk to more. A bad, bad start. And it didn't get any better. At one point getting up and getting the pitcher of tea myself. And refilling for the tables around us as well while I was at it.

I left him two nickels. And I would imagine that most of the people around us didn't do much more.

Any road, this is a topic that I readily admit that I don't know anything for certain. But, from what I've been able to glean was actually born from the English custom of a... vale? Vail? The coinage given to a servant of a visited house for services rendered.

As near as I ever figured out this was a custom because the servants of the house were not slaves, but their service was sold to the house. And tending to the needs of guests was "above and beyond."

This never made just a whole lot of sense to me. But, then a lot of things that people decide to make customary don't.

Now, contract labor on the other hand... this made a good deal of sense to me. You don't need someone hanging around all the time, but you need them to do this for you. Or at least want them to so that you don't have to. Sure. Compensate them for their time. And then send them on their merry way so you don't have to pay them again tomorrow and the next day when they aren't doing a damn thing but standing around waiting.

Only... this didn't seem to be what "tipping" was about.

I'm hungry. I buy some food. Makes sense so far. And if I carry my own damn food to the table where I eat it and then pick up after myself and dump my own trash, that's the end of it. Everybody is happy.

Only, here are these people that don't want me to carry my own food, so they hire somebody for the express purpose of carrying my food over to the table for me and setting it in front of me. And, to make matters worse, they don't want to give me a man's sized glass of whatever I'm drinking, but these little child-sized glasses. And I guess think I'm incapable of putting my own damn drink in said glass, so they've got this person they hired for the express purpose of carrying my food also refilling my glass... which being a full-grown man, I'm gonna empty this thimble about six or seven times in the next hour!

Oh, and I've got to pay them for a service I didn't even know I needed!

***sigh*** But, I walked into their place of business to get my food instead of somewhere else that didn't do this. Their house, their rules. And if I didn't like it, I could turn around and walk right back out and cross the street to the place that will slap a platter and a keg on the counter and expect me to take it from there.

Barbers, shoe-shine, and so forth, I never have understood. You cut my hair. And I paid you twenty-five dollars for doing it. Now, I'm supposed to tip you on top of that? What for? You did exactly what I paid you to do! So, I quit going and got myself a pair of clippers.

The one time I got lured into going to a strip club was an absolute disaster. So, this gal is up there shaking her tatas for every swinging dick in the bar, but I'm supposed to tip her as if she were doing it just for me? Here's a dollar. Collect the rest from everybody else you are showing them to at the same time. Yeah... I was invited not to come back. Which I didn't mind since I had no intention. In high school we called those girls "teases." And it wasn't considered a good thing.

Hotel housekeeping... Well... Ok, so if I'm there by myself, they have actually less to do than normal. But, if another guest... and particularly when chocolate mousse was involved... Yeah, in one particular instance I left a Benjamin on the pillow. But, that was... there was probably gonna be some furniture repair and painting at a minimum involved.

Hotel bellhops, on the other hand... I can carry my own bags. And hers too. And, as long as you tell me the damn room number, I can find it on my own. I really don't want you standing in my room, eyeballing my gal, and speculating about just what I'm gonna be doing to her in that bed that I really don't need your help turning down the covers.

But...

But, all these people are somehow necessary in the Lifestyle of the Rich and Shameless. And I guess if you have more dollars than sense, you tend to revel in what you got more of. Which builds an expectation for the rest of us squirrels to ante up if we want a nut in their world.

***shrug*** I've been bunkered in, sheltering in place for about a decade before we even heard of COVID once health issues (completely unrelated) spiraled out of control. So, I really couldn't say just what is going on out there these days.

But, about the only people I ever did tip was waitresses. And I tended to keep things as simple as I could. Before I got my degree and went off for a career salary, my last hourly wage had been five dollars per hour.

So, I started at $5 when I sat down, before I even ordered. Whether I was alone or with four other people, I started at $5. (More than five of us, I added a second $5.)

Over the course of the meal, I added to or took away from that amount depending on the service. At the beginning of this, I mentioned the snot-nosed pimple-faced punk who worked his way down to two nickels. One gal managed to work her way up to $20, but she did an absolutely outstanding job. And the only way she could have earned more (or done better) would have been to crawl under the table and service my wife orally during her "death by chocolate" dessert course.

I don't know. I already admitted that I don't understand it. Even growing up in a house where, back in the days when we had milk and eggs on the porch every morning, Dad tipped the dairy guy, the mailman, the barber, the dry cleaner, the preacher, the paperboy... Hell, everybody but his lawn boy (which was me from the time I was heavy enough to lean on the mower and make it move) since he didn't believe in "allowance" while he did believe in "chores."

And as for that "rushing you out," oh Hell no. If they bring you the check before you ask for it, you sit right there and finish what you paid for. And if they have a problem with it, start trying to rush you out, then you take a dollar from the tip every time they stop by and pointedly ask "IS there anything else?" "Yeah. Some peace while I finish the beer I paid for that you won't let me walk out with would be nice."

 

[seela]

Silly question that I could google the answer to, but I'll ask here instead because I'm lazy.

What's up with Nebraska and Maine in the attached pic? All the other states are just one color, those two have little individual blocks. Do they work differently than other states? It's a pic from a local newspaper and the blockishness of those two states wasn't explained.

Please don't make this a thread about who should or shouldn't win or if the colors are wrong, biased, whatever. I just ask about the logistics, because those two states look different on the map.

In case it's needed and not obvious:

Blue = Biden leads
Light blue = Biden leads but not so clearly
Yellow = kinda equal
Pink = Trump leads but not so clearly
Red = Trump leads

 

[Jada59]

Silly question that I could google the answer to, but I'll ask here instead because I'm lazy.

What's up with Nebraska and Maine in the attached pic? All the other states are just one color, those two have little individual blocks. Do they work differently than other states? It's a pic from a local newspaper and the blockishness of those two states wasn't explained.

Please don't make this a thread about who should or shouldn't win or if the colors are wrong, biased, whatever. I just ask about the logistics, because those two states look different on the map.

In case it's needed and not obvious:

Blue = Biden leads
Yellow = kinda equal
Red = Trump leads

No clue since it doesn't explain what the orange or light blue means.

 

[seela]

No clue since it doesn't explain what the orange or light blue means.

Darker color, bigger lead. So in Montana Trump leads but not as clearly as in Idaho. In Nevada Biden leads but not as clearly as in California. For example.

It's the block formation rather than one color only that puzzles me.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Silly question that I could google the answer to, but I'll ask here instead because I'm lazy.

What's up with Nebraska and Maine in the attached pic? All the other states are just one color, those two have little individual blocks. Do they work differently than other states? It's a pic from a local newspaper and the blockishness of those two states wasn't explained.

Please don't make this a thread about who should or shouldn't win or if the colors are wrong, biased, whatever. I just ask about the logistics, because those two states look different on the map.

In case it's needed and not obvious:

Blue = Biden leads
Yellow = kinda equal
Red = Trump leads

In most states, the electoral votes are winner-take-all, so if you win Florida by just one vote, you get all 29 of its electoral votes. In Maine and Nebraska the electoral votes are apportioned by congressional district. So the overall winner of the state gets 2 electoral votes, plus 1 vote for each congressional district they carry. So it's possible for the candidates to split the electoral votes of those states. So this year, Trump is expected to carry Nebraska, but it's possible that Biden could carry Nebraska's 2nd Congressional District, giving Trump 4 of Nebraska's electoral votes and Biden 1.

I hope that makes sense?

 

[seela]

In most states, the electoral votes are winner-take-all, so if you win Florida by just one vote, you get all 29 of its electoral votes. In Maine and Nebraska the electoral votes are apportioned by congressional district. So the overall winner of the state gets 2 electoral votes, plus 1 vote for each congressional district they carry. So it's possible for the candidates to split the electoral votes of those states. So this year, Trump is expected to carry Nebraska, but it's possible that Biden could carry Nebraska's 2nd Congressional District, giving Trump 4 of Nebraska's electoral votes and Biden 1.

I hope that makes sense?

Yes it does. Thank you!

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

Well...let me just read above...I thought I had part of the answer, but whiskeyjack explained it better.

 

[seela]

The yellow are swing states, it could go either way.
I haven't quite figured out the pink states.

The lighter colors just mean the lead isn't as big. Sorry, it's a common method here to mark how big a lead a candidate has do it didn't occur to me to explain it.

 

[SissySalina]

Silly question that I could google the answer to, but I'll ask here instead because I'm lazy.

What's up with Nebraska and Maine in the attached pic? All the other states are just one color, those two have little individual blocks. Do they work differently than other states? It's a pic from a local newspaper and the blockishness of those two states wasn't explained.

Please don't make this a thread about who should or shouldn't win or if the colors are wrong, biased, whatever. I just ask about the logistics, because those two states look different on the map.

In case it's needed and not obvious:

Blue = Biden leads
Light blue = Biden leads but not so clearly
Yellow = kinda equal
Pink = Trump leads but not so clearly
Red = Trump leads

As A sissy it found that the explanation can get long. For the most part Democrat and Republican the actual candidate name does not matter. States have the right to choose how the electoral is decided, most states choose winner of popular vote total takes all the electoral votes in some states it is awarded according to the vote in each district or % according to the % of popular votes total of the state. The electoral college is equal to the number of Representatives and Senators for that state.
Hope this has totally confused you as it does this sissy.
Since the chart is based on poles and not votes sissy would assume that the yellow and orange depict states where the poles show no distinct leader.

 

[gracie920101]

Silly question that I could google the answer to, but I'll ask here instead because I'm lazy.

What's up with Nebraska and Maine in the attached pic? All the other states are just one color, those two have little individual blocks. Do they work differently than other states? It's a pic from a local newspaper and the blockishness of those two states wasn't explained.

Please don't make this a thread about who should or shouldn't win or if the colors are wrong, biased, whatever. I just ask about the logistics, because those two states look different on the map.

In case it's needed and not obvious:

Blue = Biden leads
Light blue = Biden leads but not so clearly
Yellow = kinda equal
Pink = Trump leads but not so clearly
Red = Trump leads

I'm fascinated by the names on the states of your map. It seems to be in the local language of the newspaper and I see North, South, etc. is therefore translated.

 

[seela]

I'm fascinated by the names on the states of your map. It seems to be in the local language of the newspaper and I see North, South, etc. is therefore translated.

Yes, and West in West Virginia is also translated. It bothers me that "New" isn't translated, although it is translated in New Zealand and Papua New Guinea. There's no logic, annoying.

 

[twister947]

I'm stunned that this ran in your local newspaper.

 

[Bramblethorn]

As A sissy it found that the explanation can get long. For the most part Democrat and Republican the actual candidate name does not matter. States have the right to choose how the electoral is decided, most states choose winner of popular vote total takes all the electoral votes in some states it is awarded according to the vote in each district or % according to the % of popular votes total of the state.

Although there's a complication to this. The state votes aren't counted up directly. Instead, each state chooses that number of electors, people nominated by a party who are pledged to vote for that party's candidate, and the winning party's electors go off to vote for President and VP... and sometimes they break their pledges. Some states have laws that automatically replace a "faithless elector", others don't.

In the last election, two of the electors who'd pledged for Trump ended up voting for other Republican candidates, and five of Clinton's switched to other candidates. It didn't change the end result, but in a close vote it could do, and I imagine that would get very ugly indeed.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Yes, and West in West Virginia is also translated. It bothers me that "New" isn't translated, although it is translated in New Zealand and Papua New Guinea. There's no logic, annoying.

Is there a reason why California is transcribed with a "K" while Colorado and Connecticut both keep their "C"s?

 

[seela]

I'm stunned that this ran in your local newspaper.

Nah, the election is documented in excruciating detail in every single country whose media I follow.

Is there a reason why California is transcribed with a "K" while Colorado and Connecticut both keep their "C"s?

There's no real logic to that either. My theory is that California was a more established and frequently used name earlier on than the other two and has hence gotten and kept the native spelling.

Sometimes you might see Kolorado, but it's very uncommon when it talking about the state. Colorado potato beetle is spelled with a K here.

There were miners from here in California and Colorado so I think that's why those two experience the shift to K, although Colorado much less frequently. Connecticut then again wasn't really a destination for our migration at any point and that's why it's always written with a C.

I haven't looked up anything to back up my theory, so take this with a heaping spoonful of salt.

And now that I started to think about it, New South Wales is usually translated, sometimes (rarely) New Mexico is translated, but New York/Jersey/Hampton always keep the New in English here.

 

[Bramblethorn]

There's no real logic to that either. My theory is that California was a more established and frequently used name earlier on than the other two and has hence gotten and kept the native spelling.

Sometimes you might see Kolorado, but it's very uncommon when it talking about the state. Colorado potato beetle is spelled with a K here.

There were miners from here in California and Colorado so I think that's why those two experience the shift to K, although Colorado much less frequently. Connecticut then again wasn't really a destination for our migration at any point and that's why it's always written with a C.

That would have been my guess. I noticed in German that recent loan-words from English are more likely to follow the English spelling and pronunciation, e.g. "Computer" even though German would normally use a K for that sound, or "Stars" (celebrities) with the English pronunciation for "St" not the German.

German makes the same choices as Finnish for those place names (Kalifornien, Colorado, Connecticut), and also for Kanada.

And now that I started to think about it, New South Wales is usually translated, sometimes (rarely) New Mexico is translated, but New York/Jersey/Hampton always keep the New in English here.

How does Finnish translate my home state, Victoria?

 

[seela]

Kanada here as well, and Kambodža for Cambodia and Kolumbia for Colombia etc. Columbus the dude is also spelled Kolumbus. Columbus the city is Columbus.

How does Finnish translate my home state, Victoria?

Victoria the state is Victoria, but the queen it's named after is Viktoria.

 

[seela]

Summer is a-coming! (She said full of hope amidst a flurry of sleet. )

Is there any rule of thumb for how many vacation days you get a year? Does it vary between jobs or from state to state? Are Saturdays and Sundays during your vacation regular days off or do you have to use vacation days for them as well?

 

[Moochienanu]

Summer is a-coming! (She said full of hope amidst a flurry of sleet. )

Is there any rule of thumb for how many vacation days you get a year? Does it vary between jobs or from state to state? Are Saturdays and Sundays during your vacation regular days off or do you have to use vacation days for them as well?

I think it likely varies between states and jobs according to certain things like seniority and the service you’re providing. For example, an elementary teacher gets the summer vacation (mostly) off with their students.

Most jobs separate paid leave (vacation time) and sick leave (sick time), but some don’t. Mine, for example starts with two weeks when you begin your job, and then you accrue more with each pay period of two weeks. The amount of time you accrue per pay period depends on how long you have been doing the job and the job you do (more time for more seniority in the company and for how educated you are). Right now I have a paid leave bank of well over 150+ hours, but I can’t usually take much because I am blocked from taking time when anyone else who does my job takes a vacation because there are not many of us who do the job.

Most 9-5, 5 day a week jobs don’t include Saturdays and Sundays in vacation days since those are “normal” days off. If you work an off schedule, vacation days are usually only taken on days you would otherwise be scheduled to work.

That felt like I probably just confused you more.

 

[twister947]

It's random. Like our healthcare coverage. No sane person, given a blank slate, would design this.

 

[gracie920101]

I am a part time employee which means I work less than 30 hours/week. I am not eligible for any paid time off, I.e., holidays, sick, vacation. If I don't work, I don't get paid.

Paid time off is mostly up to the employer outside of government positions and varies widely from state to state.

 

[Bramblethorn]

but we have that sound in nethergerman (niederdeutsch or pladdütsch or plattdeutsch or platt) the northern version of german (same for 'sp')

I try not to think about how many varieties of German there are that I'm even worse at than I am in Hochdeutsch ;-)

 

[seela]

I think it likely varies between states and jobs according to certain things like seniority and the service you’re providing. For example, an elementary teacher gets the summer vacation (mostly) off with their students.

Most jobs separate paid leave (vacation time) and sick leave (sick time), but some don’t. Mine, for example starts with two weeks when you begin your job, and then you accrue more with each pay period of two weeks. The amount of time you accrue per pay period depends on how long you have been doing the job and the job you do (more time for more seniority in the company and for how educated you are). Right now I have a paid leave bank of well over 150+ hours, but I can’t usually take much because I am blocked from taking time when anyone else who does my job takes a vacation because there are not many of us who do the job.

Most 9-5, 5 day a week jobs don’t include Saturdays and Sundays in vacation days since those are “normal” days off. If you work an off schedule, vacation days are usually only taken on days you would otherwise be scheduled to work.

That felt like I probably just confused you more.

What baffles me is that separate sick day quota. How can you know how many days you're sick? I've never understood it... Do you have to bring a doctor's note or something to prove that you're sick to be able to use your sick days? What if you're not sick at all?

When you accrue time off, is it by hour or by day per two weeks?

It's random. Like our healthcare coverage. No sane person, given a blank slate, would design this.

It all sure looks like a complicated mess from my point of view, but I'm used to a completely different system.

I am a part time employee which means I work less than 30 hours/week. I am not eligible for any paid time off, I.e., holidays, sick, vacation. If I don't work, I don't get paid.

Paid time off is mostly up to the employer outside of government positions and varies widely from state to state.

That sounds rough to me. Do you get any extra compensation for not qualifying for paid time off? Like a yearly bonus or something?

Here if you work part time, you accrue vacation days the same way that full time workers do, but you only get the percentage that you work. So, if you work three days a week instead of five, you get 60% of the vacation. The catch is that you have to work either on 14 days per calendar month or at least 35 hours combined per calendar month to qualify. I'm not actually sure what happens if you don't qualify for either category, I've never been in that situation myself.

Thank you all for your responses!


Here most people get either 2 (if you've worked in the same place less than a year) 2.5 (the most common amount) or 3 vacation days a month. The 2 and 2.5 day requirements are defined in the law, 3 days a month is a bonus some employers give to people who have worked for the same employer for a really long time.

For me, I accrue 2.5 vacation days per month. It works so that I get 3 every other month and 2 every other mont, so I never end up with 0.5 day off. You always accrue vacation days for the next year, so right now we're accruing vacation days for 2022 and you can't use those vacation days until January. The exceptions are if you don't have a permanent contract, then you can use your vacation days as soon as you get them, if you wish, or you can let them accumulate (that's my situation). Or if you're quitting, then you're obviously allowed to use up all of the accrued vacation days.

It sucks when you switch jobs, because the system usually means that the first year you won't get much time off at all. You can have unpaid vacation days, everyone is entitled to that, but not everybody can do that financially even if you get the vacation compensation money, usually 50% of your paycheck. Everyone gets the vacation compensation money, even those who don't have to take unpaid days off to get a bit of vacation.

Sundays are always regular days off and you don't need to use a vacation day for them, but Saturdays can be either days off or you might need to use a vacation day for them. It doesn't even depend on if you work Mon-Fri 9-to-5 or not, but rather it depends on the field. My partner works in finance, very much a Mon-Fri, 9-to-5 job, and he has to spend a vacation day for Saturdays, but he gets a few more extra vacation days compared to me, so they even out most of the Saturdays.

I only spend a vacation day for Mon-Fri, so I get six weeks off a year, plus the overtime overflow days off I have to take to control the workload. I'm currently at 80+ hours and in September everything above 40 hours will get nixed, so I have to take some days off to bring my hour count down before September. I also have 10 days off I didn't use last year, so this year I'm really rolling in vacation days.

As for sick days, there's no limit. Where I work we can stay home three days without a doctor's or nurse's note just by letting your boss know you're sick. If you need longer, you'll need to go see a doctor/nurse. But this varies by employer.

 

[midwestyankee]

One rather welcome change to the typical American practice described above by Moochienanu is happening in the digital/technical sector, such as software development companies. Some such firms simply allow their employees to take time off as needed with no set limits on either personal days off/vacation days or sick-time days off. At the moment, this is a relatively rare practice across all of American industry (as noted, government employees work under different rules than those who work in the private sector) but I suspect that it will spread with the general spread of working from home.

It's my view that many of these rules regarding time off originated in a very paternalistic system where time off was granted to employees only with considerable reluctance. As industrial employees formed labor unions, the unions gained time-off for their members as concessions from management and most other employers eventually followed suit. Over the last forty years, membership in labor unions has declined significantly here and more restrictive employee work-time arrangements set by management have increased. I fully believe that this will change over time, but slowly. For a country founded by a violent and fairly fast revolution, we change very, very slowly.