submissiveness, could it be genetic?

[Netzach]

There's a big difference between chafing when answering to others, and actively doing something to avoid that chafing. I agree, and yes - that narrows the field. But the point I was trying to make is that there's a difference between the urge for independence (i.e., controlling the terms of your own existence as much as possible) and the urge to control other people. I see those as different urges, and was asking if you do, too.

Absolutely. Being left alone versus a drive to lead are different things.

But the question is begged lead what? Who? Why?

To some people externals are important (fame and fortune and lots of subordinates) and to other people family is all that matters. To some people self-mastery is really the bottom line and let people think whatever they want.

I don't think a desire to control people you're not intimate with (read that how you will, not necessarily sexual) means beans when it comes to controlling people you are intimately connected with.

When it comes to most people, I'm fairly indifferent, when it comes to intimates I don't tolerate being bested.

 

[LilyBart]

Absolutely. Being left alone versus a drive to lead are different things.

But the question is begged lead what? Who? Why?

To some people externals are important (fame and fortune and lots of subordinates) and to other people family is all that matters. To some people self-mastery is really the bottom line and let people think whatever they want.

I don't think a desire to control people you're not intimate with (read that how you will, not necessarily sexual) means beans when it comes to controlling people you are intimately connected with.

When it comes to most people, I'm fairly indifferent, when it comes to intimates I don't tolerate being bested.

I found this line to be quite important. For me, anyway.

I ID as a switch, more or less. I am quite dominant in my non--sexual life. Meaning, people I am not intimate with. But like Netz, being "bested" is really hard for me to handle. I know, logically, if I want to maintain a long-term relationship, that there is a required give-and-take. It doesn't mean I like it. Or really, I'm not sure I know how to appropriately deal with it.

I am surely old enough by now to know most things. But this, I don't.

~LB

 

[zoe8]

I was digging through older threads... looking for more on people transitiong to 24/7. Anyways I thought I would comment on this because I have experience.

When I was about 16 or so I was looking for some clothes in my mom's closet and I stumbled across a bag full of leather toys and tricks. Instantly something clicked and I understood what it all was. I knew she was a little more sexually liberal but I understood instantly that she was a domme. This actually messed with my head for years as I was very turned off by the idea of a fem dom.... and I steered clear of anything labeled BDSM.

Anyways I eventually understood that I was a female sub and came to terms with the fact that I am not my mother yada yada yada....

Anyways so its not genetic... or at least not in my family.

 

[Netzach]

I was digging through older threads... looking for more on people transitiong to 24/7. Anyways I thought I would comment on this because I have experience.

When I was about 16 or so I was looking for some clothes in my mom's closet and I stumbled across a bag full of leather toys and tricks. Instantly something clicked and I understood what it all was. I knew she was a little more sexually liberal but I understood instantly that she was a domme. This actually messed with my head for years as I was very turned off by the idea of a fem dom.... and I steered clear of anything labeled BDSM.

Anyways I eventually understood that I was a female sub and came to terms with the fact that I am not my mother yada yada yada....

Anyways so its not genetic... or at least not in my family.

Near-identical experience but opposite here.

Now, if someone asked "does pervy run in families" I think it sure the hell does.

 

[intothewoods]

I found this line to be quite important. For me, anyway.

I ID as a switch, more or less. I am quite dominant in my non--sexual life. Meaning, people I am not intimate with. But like Netz, being "bested" is really hard for me to handle. I know, logically, if I want to maintain a long-term relationship, that there is a required give-and-take. It doesn't mean I like it. Or really, I'm not sure I know how to appropriately deal with it.

I am surely old enough by now to know most things. But this, I don't.

~LB

I happily do give and take, heavy on the give. But but but! I have my prerequisites. And I admit for some people my prerequisites are a giant pain in the ass. When the shit hits the fan, I want to know you will take care of me.

 

[jessbian]

Blank Slate

when we are born we are a blank slate, while genitics and outside influence can greatly affect a person, it can also have very little effect. it's really about the individual and weather or not their mind is open enough, it' especially lucky if they get to the point where they can actually choose what they want, then it becomes about what they enjoy more.

 

[LWulf]

There was a study done on primates: specifically, infant primates and their mothers. Infants were used because there is the least amount of time to allow for a personality to develop or be learned.

There are essentially two types of infant primates. One is, let's say "needy" and the other is "independent". The needy one clings to it's mother, while the other is more likely to scamper off to get into all kinds of mischief by itself.

It is, believe it or not, somewhat typical in the wild for an abandoned infant primate to be "adopted" by a non-biological "mother" or so the study suggested.

Long story short, the researchers found that the biological "needy" infant, if placed with an "independent" adoptive mother would grow despondent and very upset when it's adoptive mother didn't supply it with the mutual feelings it ...needed. The infant would actually jump and pull on it's indifferent adoptive mother hysterically. The adoptive independent mother was less inclined to adapt.

Conversely, if I recollect properly, the independent infant, when placed with a needy adoptive mother, learned to be slightly needy. I rationalized this as the adoptive needy mother would try to cling to it's adoptive independent infant more and since ANY infant needs a parent in some regard, the infant adapted to it's adoptive parent.

(What was NOT looked into in this study, is if any adapted traits from either adopted infant was transferred to the successive generation.)

Based on this behavioral study, I would say, yes, there are basic traits that are genetic.

From a "gut" perspective, I'd say that it's hard to classify or base everything people do on genetics. If that were the case, then we could eliminate all crime by sterilizing all murderers, rapists, thieves and pedophiles... and their kin.
This is also a very judeo/christian belief that "the sins of the father are the sins of the children," which I do not believe.

I think there is a genetic gene to be sexual, but which direction that sexuality takes is a choice.
I think there is a genetic gene to be "deviant". Whether that deviance is an interest in dominance, submission or (...heaven forbid!) collecting barbie dolls, is a choice.

 

[Sir Victor]

when we are born we are a blank slate, while genitics and outside influence can greatly affect a person, it can also have very little effect. it's really about the individual and weather or not their mind is open enough, it' especially lucky if they get to the point where they can actually choose what they want, then it becomes about what they enjoy more.

Blank slate or "Tabula Rasa" is the name of an epistemological theory, it is
just a theory that is in my opinion incorrect. It is an area of philosophy that
has been debated for ages:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabula_rasa
Pinker's "Language Instinct" is counter proof in my opinion:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Language_Instinct

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

For anyone who has the chance, there is an excellent series hosted by Stephen Fry on language, Fry's Planet Word:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fry's_Planet_Word
While this may seem a bit off topic, if you watch the series he examines instances where language does appear to affect our behaviour. Therefore you could take the next logical step in assuming that language patterns learned in our infancy may indeed influence our behaviours.
So, to the OPs question (even if it is years old!), perhaps a mother's language and behaviour patterns can influence a child, so submissiveness may be "inherited", but more from a learned influence than a genetic one.
C/C