Submissives vs. Slaves

[psiberzerker]

Dominants, and submissives are people, just like 'nillas, gays, straights, cops, construction workers, et cetera. Like any group of people, some are decent, and others are assholes. I try not to associate, or encourage the latter, they give the rest of us a bad name. (Predator, abuser, rapist, villian, pick your personal favourite.)

 

[Ebonyfire]

Dominants, and submissives are people, just like 'nillas, gays, straights, cops, construction workers, et cetera. Like any group of people, some are decent, and others are assholes. I try not to associate, or encourage the latter, they give the rest of us a bad name. (Predator, abuser, rapist, villian, pick your personal favourite.)

Well, it is easy to call names it seems. I am glad to see this thread alive again.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I'm not really a Fairy tale kinda guy, hense the monicer. The terms subject, and subjegation don't really apply to the medieval concepts of indenture to me because I just don't think that way. But hey, whatever blows your skirt up.

Well I was thinking more along the lines of service with honor. (and a mutually benificial relationship) I just used the medival theme to illistate my point

 

[Richard49]

Well I was thinking more along the lines of service with honor. (and a mutually benificial relationship) I just used the medival theme to illistate my point

I understood your point

 

[Ebonyfire]

Bump

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Good bump!

THe difference between a submissive and a slave, IMO, is that a slave surrenders everything to the Master. Limits still exist, but only at the discretion of the Master or Mistress. This is a level that is right for a very small minority of the BDSM community, but I'm sure it is rewarding for those involved.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Well it seemed applicable to some of the questions/posts we have gotten lately.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Well it seemed applicable to some of the questions/posts we have gotten lately.

I noticed...like in that 'glossary' thread?

 

[Ebonyfire]

I noticed...like in that 'glossary' thread?

Well we have discussed just about every topic there is, and so it is not a bad idea to go back to some of the older threads so that we can build on what has gone before.

Granted we can get a fresh perspective on an old topic, but in reality there is nothing new under the sun.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Good bump!

THe difference between a submissive and a slave, IMO, is that a slave surrenders everything to the Master. Limits still exist, but only at the discretion of the Master or Mistress. This is a level that is right for a very small minority of the BDSM community, but I'm sure it is rewarding for those involved.

Have to agree with this interpretation. There are good and bad days; as a slave, the secret to having more good than bad days I think is in striving to maintain the correct focus, despite the distractions from outside, the conflicting views of some, and the added pressures of everyday life which exist in everyone's sphere of existance.

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

Misunderstood

Just yesterday I had five guys message Me asking to be My slave.

"Mistress, can I serve you?"

"Mistress, can I be your slave? I will do anything you want."

"Mistress, if I can be your slave, I will give you anything you want."


How do these guys know I even WANT a slave?

I explain to them that it is impossible to be a slave to someone you do not know.

And why would you want to?

I explain to them that I am only interested in submissives, and that slavery is a condition that is eased into if the relationship warrants it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Misunderstood

Just yesterday I had five guys message Me asking to be My slave.

"Mistress, can I serve you?"

"Mistress, can I be your slave? I will do anything you want."

"Mistress, if I can be your slave, I will give you anything you want."


How do these guys know I even WANT a slave?

I explain to them that it is impossible to be a slave to someone you do not know.

And why would you want to?

I explain to them that I am only interested in submissives, and that slavery is a condition that is eased into if the relationship warrants it.

Sounds like the counterparts to the ones I used to get saying, 'I am now your Master, bitch. I own you and you will do as I tell you to....can you send a pic and let me know when we can meet?' LOL

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Misunderstood

Sounds like the counterparts to the ones I used to get saying, 'I am now your Master, bitch. I own you and you will do as I tell you to....can you send a pic and let me know when we can meet?' LOL

Catalina

Yep.

 

[Ebonyfire]

And then there is this:

"Mistress I can't live without being Your slave!"


Yeah, right. Should I be reading of your demise in the newpaper soon?


"Mistress I was born to be Yours!"

No you were born to be snubbed my Me.

 

[PinkOrchid]

Re: Re: Misunderstood

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Misunderstood

I've received a couple of those. And gave them responses that were anything but submissive. Funny, they've never written back.

I am not surprised.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Re: Misunderstood

I've received a couple of those. And gave them responses that were anything but submissive. Funny, they've never written back.

LOL...strange that huh? One of my advrts keeps reappearing despite my efforts to elliminate it so I sometimes stil get responses inquiring if I am still looking. Being a friendly soul, if they are civil sounding etc., I generally reply explaining the circumstances. One a few months back asked if I had any friends who might be interested so told him I would pass his eamil to a friend who was looking if he wished which he did. Well in the meantime she found someone and did not respond to him.

He sent an email asking me why he had not heard and I told him I had passed his addie on, but the rest was her choice, to which he seemed OK with. This week, momths later, I get a less than friendly email from him ranting about her not contacting him and how in his opinion the least she should have done was send him a pic of herself. Why one would ask? There are sure some strange ones out there so new subs please beware.

C

 

[Ebonyfire]

The picture issue

C's reply just brought Me this thought.

What is it about this demand for pictures?

Dom/mes demanding instant pics,
Subs demanding instant pics,

What is the deal?

I tell subs who ask Me for a pic and/or ask Me to describe Myself on initial contact, that they are out of line, cause what I look like is not the issue. The issue is if I believe they are worthy of My time.

What do others feel about the pic issue?

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: The picture issue

C's reply just brought Me this thought.

What is it about this demand for pictures?

Dom/mes demanding instant pics,
Subs demanding instant pics,

What is the deal?

I tell subs who ask Me for a pic and/or ask Me to describe Myself on initial contact, that they are out of line, cause what I look like is not the issue. The issue is if I believe they are worthy of My time.

What do others feel about the pic issue?

LOL..My thoughts are they are not in search of the perfect, well near as perfect as possible, Dominant or sub/slave, but more the image of the perfect D or s, and the one who will give them the most envied and positive public image in the accessory department. Encountered a few in my search and my translation was usually a wannabe, especially if they kept insisting. I wanted someone who wanted me for who I was, not whether I looked like Elle MacPherson or not.

Catalina

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: The picture issue

LOL..My thoughts are they are not in search of the perfect, well near as perfect as possible, Dominant or sub/slave, but more the image of the perfect D or s, and the one who will give them the most envied and positive public image in the accessory department. Encountered a few in my search and my translation was usually a wannabe, especially if they kept insisting. I wanted someone who wanted me for who I was, not whether I looked like Elle MacPherson or not.

Catalina

Yep. I like to think that looks are not as important is expertise. After all, if looks matter THAT much, then find a date!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Re: The picture issue

Yep. I like to think that looks are not as important is expertise. After all, if looks matter THAT much, then find a date!

Yep, found lust was often a hinderance to most in finding if they want a D/s relationship with a person or not.

C

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Re: The picture issue

Yep, found lust was often a hinderance to most in finding if they want a D/s relationship with a person or not.

C

Well I nip that one in the bud when I tell them that their chances of fucking Me are slim to none. However, I reserve the right to change My mind at any given time. They can just live in hope.

 

[PinkOrchid]

Re: The picture issue

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: The picture issue

I have mixed feelings about photos.

On the one hand, I agree, it indicates to me that someone is looking more for a fantasy and less for a connection of some sort.

On the other, someone sending me a photo gives me more of a sense (whether justified or not) of someone who is more serious by exposing their physical identity.

There's also a difference between a polite request and an inappropriate demand.

The sites where I have placed ads have very skewed male-to-female ratios, and I get hundreds of responses for every one a man gets, so a man's willingness to send a photo helps distinguish him to me. I request photos in my ad, and the receipt of one also indicates to me that the responder has actually *read* the ad, and not just looked at my photo.

The one time I found an SO online I didn't know what he looked like until we met. I didn't even know what race he was. And I *liked* that. I liked going to meet him knowing that the ONLY reason I was doing so was because we really, really liked each other. And I also liked that he felt the same way. It's not so true since I've gotten older, but when I was younger men were only initially interested in me because of the way I looked, and it was very, very nice to know this one person was more interested in who I am.

I think the bottom line for me is that the photo itself is not as important to me as is the way he handles it, as that tells me more about him than a photo ever could.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The picture issue

Well I nip that one in the bud when I tell them that their chances of fucking Me are slim to none. However, I reserve the right to change My mind at any given time. They can just live in hope.

It's been so long I would not know
how to "do it" if I had an offer