Subs with ADHD: Question for Dom/mes, Tops, Mistresses, Master and all other PYL's..

[Richard49]

ya all want to see my bruises and broken body?

old broken body

 

[snowy ciara]

I know, Sir, you've suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.. But I'd not be tossing rocks at you.

 

[snowy ciara]

Very good rambling, sylvan.. I enjoyed it. It doesn't even count as a hijack really.

You raised a very good point, some of are highly functioning individuals. I think Toybox mentioned getting put in special ed classes. That's one of the worst things you can do to someone with this issue. Most of us are capable of doing the work, and to put someone back that way defeats the purpose.

I enjoyed your kitchen stories cause I have similar issues. I've never worked in a kitchen, and my lack of cooking ability is a running joke around here. I'd starve if I had to fend completely by myself. But as my mother says, I could probably handle it if I could be patient and sustain my concentration long enough to get the meal finished. basically, if it takes longer than 45 minutes to cook, I have issues...

 

[PyroDemon]

Snowy, I was never put in a special ed class, in fact I was moved up two grades in school after being given a aptitude test. In fact. most people with a so called learning disability are some of the most intellegent people out there. IQ tests have proven that.

My mother is a teacher, has been since I was small and she works with children with behavior problems and learning disabilities. Alot of the time it is not so much the child as it is the teacher. When you have a class of over 30 children, that class is often changed 4 to 6 times a day that gives some teachers over 120 students each day to try and instruct. So teaching methods are standardized and as such the special cases get lost in the shuffle and are often misdiagnosed. Now all you teachers don't jump on me, you think about how hard it is to get thru to one child sometimes and then multiply it. Alot of the problem with a learning disability ( if there is such a thing) is like so many other means of instruction, is the right teacher. We need more, should respect those that are teachers more, and start remembering not everyone is the "norm". And it is those that stray outside the lines of norm that expand our lives the most. I find alot of people with disabilities tend to think it is somehow their fault. Well, it isn't. Thank God for mine. They make me , me.

 

[snowy ciara]

Sorry, ToyDoc, my bad! I got you confused with a PM er who also pointed out my error. My apologies to you both.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Purely self-interest bump so I can learn more perhaps......

 

[Silverlily]

But then she decided that working with "a person with that problem" is too "labor intensive" and that "she does not wish to participate in a relationship with someone who cannot concentrate solely on me."

After I finished being pissed off at her high handed manner, and the fact that she obviously was not reading what I was emailing to her, I began to wonder. How many people would find this to be a deal breaker?

Not me, if anything I seem drawn to the type. I like my subs to come in puzzle pieces, a riddle to be solved. And the energy level is often quite amusing.

Most of my family, including one of my daughters is ADHD. It is familiar territory. Absolute, unwavering attention is just a hard limit. It's not due to insolance any more than a submissive with bad knees not being able to kneel for hours on end.

 

[sphynx's dragon]

I can't really say much but perhaps my Lady will, after all, I have ADHD, always have and a couple of things make it worse. I think I do pretty well, only suffer occasionally for it.

 

[Private_Label]

Snowy, I was in a college class once with a woman who was a bit older than me, with a pre-teen daughter. My classmate was having a difficult time with the course material (Organic Chem is a *beeatch* even if your brain is screwed in correctly). We usually went and ate lunch in the campus Student union after class. After the semester was over I saw her again - turns out her daughter was diagnosed with ADHD, and after reading all the references she could get her hands on my friend discovered and was diagnosed with it as well. Getting treatment/learning coping methods really impacted and improved her ability to learn.

I'm glad your parents caught your illness early and that you were able to learn how to handle it before it became a bigger problem.


*spell checked with google bar spell checker.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Is ADHD essentially the same as ADD?....and does anyone have any knowledge of possible side effects of Ritalin which is important to know in play or otherwise?

Catalina

 

[Private_Label]

Is ADHD essentially the same as ADD?....and does anyone have any knowledge of possible side effects of Ritalin which is important to know in play or otherwise?

Catalina

ADD: Attention Deficit Disorder
ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

This is the same illness according to this site which has a spectrum from primarily Attention defict to some mixture of each to primarily hyperactive .

Information on Ritalin
which lists the following side effects:
What are the possible side effects of methylphenidate?
• If you experience any of the following serious side effects, stop taking methylphenidate and seek emergency medical attention or contact your doctor immediately:
· an allergic reaction (difficulty breathing; closing of the throat; swelling of the lips, tongue, or face; or hives);
· an irregular or fast heartbeat;
· chest pains or very high blood pressure (blurred vision, severe headache, flushing);
· unusual behavior or confusion; or
· liver damage (yellowing of the skin or eyes, nausea, abdominal pain or discomfort, unusual bleeding or bruising, severe fatigue).
• Other, less serious side effects may be more likely to occur. Continue to take methylphenidate and talk to your doctor if you experience
· insomnia (difficulty sleeping);
· nervousness;
· drowsiness;
· dizziness;
· headache;
· blurred vision;
· tics (repetitive movements);
· abdominal pain, nausea, or vomiting;
· decreased appetite or weight loss; or
· slower weight gain and/ or growth.


I had a friend with a young son that was diagnosed with this. She couldn't afford ritalin for him but was told that coffee could work for it too. She gave him a spoonful of instant coffee when he would start showing symptoms.

 

[ProfoundPet]

I am a submissive that has had a learning disability since a young age that is very similar to ADD, in my eyes I know it could keep me from getting more distracted that someone without the learning disability,but if the dominant knows the submissive well he can help her cope with it...with my former dominant he was trying to help me not get distracted that much since people with ADD/ADHD usually pay attention to what they like rather than what they don't like,to me its not very different, one just needs to be more patient

Sarah

 

[Etoile]

ADD: Attention Deficit Disorder
ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

This is the same illness according to this site which has a spectrum from primarily Attention defict to some mixture of each to primarily hyperactive .

Yes, this is correct. As someone who was diagnosed more than 15 years ago, I have seen the common usage shift from ADHD to ADD. The proper clinical term is ADHD, which comes in three types - Primarily Inattentive, Primarily Hyperactive, and Combined Type. (I'm combined.) For some reason Americans prefer to speak of ADD, and this is something I haven't figured out. The medical world does not recognize these as two separate disorders, and it frustrates me to have millions of people misunderstanding this. My joy at the recent discoveries that adults are affected as well has been tempered by the fact that the common-usage term is "Adult ADD" ...this completely ignores an important part of the disorder. Growing up, my hyperactivity was as much of a problem for me as my attention deficit. It took me three hours to eat dinner because of both, not one or the other. I frequently bounced around in class and had severe social problems (compounded by having skipped two grades and being younger than all my peers) because of both.

Obviously this is a sore topic for me. ADHD remains the hot new fad and parents will do anything to get their kids diagnosed with it. Now they're shopping for the diagnosis for themselves. I keep hoping somebody will take the time to write a book called "Employing the ADHD Adult" - I have lost job after job because I didn't disclose to my employer or request accommodations. I had an IEP (Individualized Education Plan, used for special ed kids) in school, but there's no such thing as an IEP in life.

 

[Etoile]

I'm not sure how I missed posting in this thread the first time around, given that I got notification of the bump because I'm subscribed to it! I'll turn now to how my ADHD affects my romantic/sexual/kinky life. (I think I might have covered this in another thread sometime, too.)

It took my wife a few years to realize how the ADHD brain works. She couldn't understand why I would forget to do things, why I lost my first job, why I couldn't complete projects. She hadn't ever had someone with ADHD in her life before she met me. She did finally come to understand, though, and we have fallen into a comfortable place in which she no longer resents having to remind me of things constantly and doesn't get as mad at me when I continually forget. This isn't just taking out the trash, either - this is major life activities like finding a therapist, paying the bills, etc.

Sexually it's not much of a big deal, really. I have always assumed that everyone's mind wanders during sex. It does come into play with orgasm, though, because it is extremely difficult for me to maintain focus long enough to achieve it.

As for my relationship with Daddy, we have had fights about my behavior, which is partly influenced by ADHD and partly by anxiety disorder (which I have also had all my life, but only been medicated for for about three or four years compared to 12 years of ADHD medication). But even with Daddy we have gotten to that comfortable place, though it took a long time. E knows that I need specific, discrete, literal instructions for anything e wants me to do. In the past e has asked me to "do something [e] will like" and I am just at a complete loss because I can't come up with anything because I can't think clearly enough to figure it out. (Yes, all this coaching is necessary despite being medicated!) So e keeps things very simple for me at all times. E also has learned to adapt to my rollercoaster emotions - this is both good and bad, because while I can sink into something negative very quickly, I can also forget it again fairly quickly. (Actually, this is true all the time, but it's something my Daddy has had to learn to adapt to in terms of what e can expect of me at any given time.)

That's all I can think of right now. For the record, I was diagnosed in 1987. I began medication with Dexedrine in 1993 and switched to Strattera in 2003. I have been through various therapy and behavioral mod programs; my ADHD is considered "severe" by the state's vocational rehab program but I think with medication it brings me down to "moderately severe."

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks Etoile for helping us understand better through your own personal experiences. I will reread all you have written when I am not so rushed here. Is it OK to PM you with any questions and your possibly being able to shed some light or good advice on it for me if I need it? Don't want to make things more difficult for someone who is dealing with this everyday and willing to trust us.

Catalina

 

[Richard49]

Is ADHD essentially the same as ADD?....and does anyone have any knowledge of possible side effects of Ritalin which is important to know in play or otherwise?

Catalina

They are simlar
some have both

80% of those in American Prisons for violent crimes
have been on Ritlin

but I am almost 100% opposed to mainstream medicine
they made me an addict
and on at lest three occasions gave me medication
that brought me to deaths door

Herbally
we have found two constants with Add ADHD folks
low zinic and an overflow of parsites

I recently listen to a lecture by a Dr that said
if western Drs understood parasites
80% of surgeries would not happen

 

[Masters_aphrodite]

Yes, this is correct. As someone who was diagnosed more than 15 years ago, I have seen the common usage shift from ADHD to ADD. The proper clinical term is ADHD, which comes in three types - Primarily Inattentive, Primarily Hyperactive, and Combined Type. (I'm combined.) For some reason Americans prefer to speak of ADD, and this is something I haven't figured out. The medical world does not recognize these as two separate disorders, and it frustrates me to have millions of people misunderstanding this. My joy at the recent discoveries that adults are affected as well has been tempered by the fact that the common-usage term is "Adult ADD" ...this completely ignores an important part of the disorder. Growing up, my hyperactivity was as much of a problem for me as my attention deficit. It took me three hours to eat dinner because of both, not one or the other. I frequently bounced around in class and had severe social problems (compounded by having skipped two grades and being younger than all my peers) because of both.

Obviously this is a sore topic for me. ADHD remains the hot new fad and parents will do anything to get their kids diagnosed with it. Now they're shopping for the diagnosis for themselves. I keep hoping somebody will take the time to write a book called "Employing the ADHD Adult" - I have lost job after job because I didn't disclose to my employer or request accommodations. I had an IEP (Individualized Education Plan, used for special ed kids) in school, but there's no such thing as an IEP in life.

Etoile i agree completely. my daughter is ADHD, and i always knew it but until it started effecting her school work and self-esteem (sixth grade) then i just dealt with it as i was the same way. However, she was old enough to be upset because no matter how hard she tried she could not focus. she is hyperactive, but at least she seems to have always had pretty good self-control (at school anyway..lol).

For me and work...i am fortunate that i have a job that requires me to be a multi-tasker. i am not sure if my inability to keep my attention on the same thing for a long amount of time is why i am such a good multi-tasker but, i think it helps. i can easily switch from one thing to the other and have several different things going all at one time. However, there are times that Master will give me a task and unless i can do it right away i have to make a note in my organizer and set the alarm because my mind is at such high speed that sometimes i forget (my daughter is the same way and her agenda is a wonderful tool in school). Fidgeting...i am always moving even if it is tapping my foot, and everytime i am with Master He has to tell me (at least once) to "stop fidgeting" *grin*.

 

[Etoile]

Thanks Etoile for helping us understand better through your own personal experiences. I will reread all you have written when I am not so rushed here. Is it OK to PM you with any questions and your possibly being able to shed some light or good advice on it for me if I need it? Don't want to make things more difficult for someone who is dealing with this everyday and willing to trust us.

Catalina

Oh by all means drop me a PM if you would like! I've learned a lot about this over the past 18 years, and I am more than happy to share what I can.

 

[Etoile]

They are simlar
some have both

80% of those in American Prisons for violent crimes
have been on Ritlin

but I am almost 100% opposed to mainstream medicine
they made me an addict
and on at lest three occasions gave me medication
that brought me to deaths door

Herbally
we have found two constants with Add ADHD folks
low zinic and an overflow of parsites

I recently listen to a lecture by a Dr that said
if western Drs understood parasites
80% of surgeries would not happen

They are actually not similar, as they are the same thing - nobody has "both" because one (ADD) is shorthand for the other (ADHD).

I'd love to hear some citations for these statements - I have heard about low zinc levels as connected to ADHD, but parasites are not something familiar to me.

I also steadfastly maintain that medication can be helpful. No, it's not for everyone, but it should be considered as an option. I do think parents are looking to meds as an easy way out rather than discipline or behavior modification, but I am living proof that medication can be beneficial. I have had to go without it for various reasons at various times, and it is extremely difficult for me to accomplish anything. I have also not heard of any herbal options that would be as effective for me as prescription medications.

There are a whole ton of theories about how to handle ADHD. I used to see a car driving around my town with a bumper sticker that was something about "theADHDdiet.com" (might not be the right name) - basically it was about altering a child's diet to help their ADHD. Unfortunately all of the attention so far has been on children. Many of the alternative treatments aren't suitable for adults, who are responsible for more than children are, and who do not have as high a response rate to cognitive behavioral therapies.

 

[Masters_aphrodite]

They are actually not similar, as they are the same thing - nobody has "both" because one (ADD) is shorthand for the other (ADHD).

I'd love to hear some citations for these statements - I have heard about low zinc levels as connected to ADHD, but parasites are not something familiar to me.

I also steadfastly maintain that medication can be helpful. No, it's not for everyone, but it should be considered as an option. I do think parents are looking to meds as an easy way out rather than discipline or behavior modification, but I am living proof that medication can be beneficial. I have had to go without it for various reasons at various times, and it is extremely difficult for me to accomplish anything. I have also not heard of any herbal options that would be as effective for me as prescription medications.

There are a whole ton of theories about how to handle ADHD. I used to see a car driving around my town with a bumper sticker that was something about "theADHDdiet.com" (might not be the right name) - basically it was about altering a child's diet to help their ADHD. Unfortunately all of the attention so far has been on children. Many of the alternative treatments aren't suitable for adults, who are responsible for more than children are, and who do not have as high a response rate to cognitive behavioral therapies.

i agree again with this post. my daughter is on Concerta and seems to do well on it, but i do not give it to her on the weekends or when school is out for the summer. i do believe that a lot of parents use it as an out instead of actually disciplining their children and providing structure.

The pediatrician said that routine, and structure, helps ADHD. It does seem to help with my daughter. we have a daily schedule (especially during school) of how things are to be done and in what order. This routine seems to help her a lot.

i make "To Do Lists" but i seem to do them in meetings sometimes when i get bored. i find myself thinking "blah blah blah" when people are talking or i begin writing out to do lists...lol.

 

[Etoile]

Etoile i agree completely. my daughter is ADHD, and i always knew it but until it started effecting her school work and self-esteem (sixth grade) then i just dealt with it as i was the same way. However, she was old enough to be upset because no matter how hard she tried she could not focus. she is hyperactive, but at least she seems to have always had pretty good self-control (at school anyway..lol).

For me and work...i am fortunate that i have a job that requires me to be a multi-tasker. i am not sure if my inability to keep my attention on the same thing for a long amount of time is why i am such a good multi-tasker but, i think it helps. i can easily switch from one thing to the other and have several different things going all at one time. However, there are times that Master will give me a task and unless i can do it right away i have to make a note in my organizer and set the alarm because my mind is at such high speed that sometimes i forget (my daughter is the same way and her agenda is a wonderful tool in school). Fidgeting...i am always moving even if it is tapping my foot, and everytime i am with Master He has to tell me (at least once) to "stop fidgeting" *grin*.

Have you been tested for ADHD? There is evidence of ADHD having hereditary components. I don't think my mother was ever formally diagnosed, but when I was going through the testing (as it was done in 1987) my mother realized that many of her behaviors were the same. She also thinks that her mother had it as well.

My job is actually so perfect for me! Interpreters rarely deal with long-term memory...I only ever need to retain any given bit of information for a few minutes. I am fine with overall long-term learning - remembering what a class I'm interpreting is about, or what project my client has been working on for the past few weeks - but I don't need to be skilled with organization or "people management" or anything like that.

I do think fidgeting is not quite the same thing as hyperactivity, though. People who are hyper do tend to fidget, but not everybody who fidgets is hyper! It's weird, but I seem to have ADHD-dar...like gaydar but for finding people who are ADHD. I'm not saying I can diagnose people in five minutes, but when you have been in this world so long it's easier to notice the little mannerisms.

 

[Etoile]

i agree again with this post. my daughter is on Concerta and seems to do well on it, but i do not give it to her on the weekends or when school is out for the summer. i do believe that a lot of parents use it as an out instead of actually disciplining their children and providing structure.

The pediatrician said that routine, and structure, helps ADHD. It does seem to help with my daughter. we have a daily schedule (especially during school) of how things are to be done and in what order. This routine seems to help her a lot.

i make "To Do Lists" but i seem to do them in meetings sometimes when i get bored. i find myself thinking "blah blah blah" when people are talking or i begin writing out to do lists...lol.

Ohhhhh yes routine is SO important! I definitely need routine, personally. When I was first on the meds (again, I started with Dexedrine) we tried not giving it to me on the weekends, but we found that even as a child I needed it full-time. Many children don't - they don't have enough responsibility (how old is your daughter?) to require the medication on the weekends. I also remember my doctor telling my mom that we should try "drug holidays" every once in a while, where I wouldn't take it for about a week or something...and I think we tried that exactly once before we figured out that was a bad idea!

Are you familiar with the "My Turn" section of Newsweek? They are short essays (apparently the requirements are 850-900 words) about a personal issue that might be of interest to others. I really should try to write one for them, I have so much educating I could cram into that page!

 

[Richard49]

They are actually not similar, as they are the same thing - nobody has "both" because one (ADD) is shorthand for the other (ADHD).

Since we can not even agree o nthis
it ios pointless to continue a dialgue
best of luck to you on this subject

oh ya
BTW
I was DXed with this in the 50s
my folks choise for me to not do medication
but rather to tlearn to manage my envioment

I have three college degrees etc.

As to the herbal approach
well
I am a certified herb specilist and working on my ND

Again best of luck to all of you

 

[Masters_aphrodite]

Have you been tested for ADHD? There is evidence of ADHD having hereditary components. I don't think my mother was ever formally diagnosed, but when I was going through the testing (as it was done in 1987) my mother realized that many of her behaviors were the same. She also thinks that her mother had it as well.

My job is actually so perfect for me! Interpreters rarely deal with long-term memory...I only ever need to retain any given bit of information for a few minutes. I am fine with overall long-term learning - remembering what a class I'm interpreting is about, or what project my client has been working on for the past few weeks - but I don't need to be skilled with organization or "people management" or anything like that.

I do think fidgeting is not quite the same thing as hyperactivity, though. People who are hyper do tend to fidget, but not everybody who fidgets is hyper! It's weird, but I seem to have ADHD-dar...like gaydar but for finding people who are ADHD. I'm not saying I can diagnose people in five minutes, but when you have been in this world so long it's easier to notice the little mannerisms.

i have never been tested for ADHD. i also agree with the evidence of ADHD having hereditary components. Same as your mother, when my daughter was being tested, i also realized that many behaviors were the same. i also think it is what helped me to better understand my daughter and deal with her ADHD. As a child my mother used to give my brother coffee to calm him (i think Private_Label mentioned this in a previous post on this thread) it was one of the few things that helped. i think the concept would be similar to how the pediatrician explained Concerta and ADHD...that Concerta will speed you up to reach normalcy (hope that made sense in layman terms). my brother's son has also been diagnosed with ADHD, and i can tell that he clearly has it.

 

[Masters_aphrodite]

Ohhhhh yes routine is SO important! I definitely need routine, personally. When I was first on the meds (again, I started with Dexedrine) we tried not giving it to me on the weekends, but we found that even as a child I needed it full-time. Many children don't - they don't have enough responsibility (how old is your daughter?) to require the medication on the weekends. I also remember my doctor telling my mom that we should try "drug holidays" every once in a while, where I wouldn't take it for about a week or something...and I think we tried that exactly once before we figured out that was a bad idea!

Are you familiar with the "My Turn" section of Newsweek? They are short essays (apparently the requirements are 850-900 words) about a personal issue that might be of interest to others. I really should try to write one for them, I have so much educating I could cram into that page!

my daughter and i both seem to function sooo much better with routine. Also, i love the structure that Master gives to me and seem to thrive in it. my daughter just turned 12. Oh gosh the "drug holidays" reminded me of the third 9 weeks in school last year. We decided to try without the medication..the HORROR...that is all i need say.

i think that would be a great essay for "My Turn"

One of the things the doctor liked about the Concerta is that she takes it once in the morning. He said there is no need for anyone at school to know about it unless we wanted to inform them. Too many times people attach a stigma to ADHD children, in school.

my mom was against my daughter going on concerta, and probably why we were never formally tested. However, after seeing how much more self confidence she had in herself and how focused she actually was she agreed that it was the best thing for her.