Taking on all cummers, male or female.....

[Shadowsdream]

Having failed to get any "action" with his desperate attempt over on the AmPic thread, the attention whore had resorted to pushing our buttons over here. It worked for a short while. He got busted, LOL. Now he's flailing about, trying to find even more flagrant means by which to catch eyes. Winking assholes just don't cut it anymore, eh?

~anelize

Well honest winking assholes perhaps...but when presented submissively...and desperately...is it not a cry that echos to a desire to control or be controlled?
Which is fine in the original context...perhaps it was just posted in the wrong forum?
I certainly am trying to see some valid reason for the contradiction from photo, thread title, to a slide to the *Dom/me me dammit* attention seeking I see.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Well honest winking assholes perhaps...but when presented submissively...and desperately...is it not a cry that echos to a desire to control or be controlled?
Which is fine in the original context...perhaps it was just posted in the wrong forum?
I certainly am trying to see some valid reason for the contradiction from photo, thread title, to a slide to the *Dom/me me dammit* attention seeking I see.

I just had a thought. Attention seeking behavior (negative or positive) in children almost always comes from a desire for MORE control in their lives. They slide up and down a scale between "I'll be good so mommy will be proud" to "I'll be absolutely awful so mommy will notice me"....but either way, they want Mom to take some CONTROL and help them learn how to behave and act, and deal with their environment.

Just a thought. Lance's attention-seeking seems to me a desire to BE controlled. His posture in the pics. His constant prodding of everyone on the board. He seems to beg to be domme'd IMHO.
Acting like a 5 year old trying desperately to get it.

~anelize

 

[Shadowsdream]

I just had a thought. Attention seeking behavior (negative or positive) in children almost always comes from a desire for MORE control in their lives. They slide up and down a scale between "I'll be good so mommy will be proud" to "I'll be absolutely awful so mommy will notice me"....but either way, they want Mom to take some CONTROL and help them learn how to behave and act, and deal with their environment.

Just a thought. Lance's attention-seeking seems to me a desire to BE controlled. His posture in the pics. His constant prodding of everyone on the board. He seems to beg to be domme'd IMHO.
Acting like a 5 year old trying desperately to get it.

~anelize

I am leaning towards agreement here but there is still that part of Me that wants to dig deeper into how the original offering became so steeped in venom?
Perhaps his ass has been rejected...or his attitude..an unwanted humiliation? The pain of rejection can be very traumatic...being misunderstood can feel abusive...not understanding reality can be frightening...simplicity in its complexity...
Thank you for adding very good food for thought anelize.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

I am leaning towards agreement here but there is still that part of Me that wants to dig deeper into how the original offering became so steeped in venom?
Perhaps his ass has been rejected...or his attitude..an unwanted humiliation? The pain of rejection can be very traumatic...being misunderstood can feel abusive...not understanding reality can be frightening...simplicity in its complexity...
Thank you for adding very good food for thought anelize.

Thank you Shadowsdream for this interesting discussion. It feels good to be doing something constructive with my feelings towards this person. I initially felt alot of anger towards his venomous postings. Since his outing, I feel more, irritated I suppose, and pity, for the man's hypocrisy and his inability to deal with himself. I look forward to seeing what you, as well as others, continue to come up with.

~anelize

 

[Shadowsdream]

Thank you Shadowsdream for this interesting discussion. It feels good to be doing something constructive with my feelings towards this person. I initially felt alot of anger towards his venomous postings. Since his outing, I feel more, irritated I suppose, and pity, for the man's hypocrisy and his inability to deal with himself. I look forward to seeing what you, as well as others, continue to come up with.

~anelize

This forum should be a safe haven to ask questions and learn about inner selves, needs and desires. Anger is counter productive and irritation is annoying.
But hypocracy is intriguing when it is so blatant and just must be dissected for its core reality.
I am pleased that you have been able to participate in this conversation rationally as there is always something to learn in every situation.

 

[Shadowsdream]

Back to the original programming...

*Taking on all cummer, male or female*

How does this tie into SSC? Safe Sane Consensual?

Not Safe...so should in all fairness come with a disclaimer...perhaps ~be aware of my multiple partner leanings, my indiscriminant choices in fuck partners...hmmmm no disclaimer that I saw...is this abuse?

Not Sane...sanity would not put ones own health or life in danger...perhaps this is where the therapy question came in?

Consensual?...ah ha...maybe...but seems more inviting than consenting...and on and on and on I go with the questions that just keep coming and coming to mind!

Abuse seems a very likely scenario when one considers the horny and naive have instant access to this offer:

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Back to the original programming...

*Taking on all cummer, male or female*

How does this tie into SSC? Safe Sane Consensual?

Not Safe...so should in all fairness come with a disclaimer...perhaps ~be aware of my multiple partner leanings, my indiscriminant choices in fuck partners...hmmmm no disclaimer that I saw...is this abuse?

Not Sane...sanity would not put ones own health or life in danger...perhaps this is where the therapy question came in?

Consensual?...ah ha...maybe...but seems more inviting than consenting...and on and on and on I go with the questions that just keep coming and coming to mind!

Abuse seems a very likely scenario when one considers the horny and naive have instant access to this offer:

Abuse is almost guaranteed, isn't it? Then again, maybe Lance is fishing for an abuser, to 'prove' his point to us?

 

[Shadowsdream]

Abuse is almost guaranteed, isn't it? Then again, maybe Lance is fishing for an abuser, to 'prove' his point to us?

Ah ha which brings Me back to entrapment!
Is entrapment a valid tool to encourage abuse so that one may claim victimanization? (word?)

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Ah ha which brings Me back to entrapment!
Is entrapment a valid tool to encourage abuse so that one may claim victimanization? (word?)

I wonder about this...I have met a woman online who is interested in a certain (fairly high)level of 'abuse', in a safe, consentual sort of way. She did not wave her ass at everyone and proclaim her need to be treated like an object. On the contrary, she asked for a REFERENCE! She asked to speak to at least one other person I had met online, in order to confirm that I do not have a habit of predatory behavior.

Some people, on the other hand, seem to be looking to be made a victim of...and whther it is intentional, accidental, conscious or not; they are going to attract the wrong types very easily.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I wonder about this...I have met a woman online who is interested in a certain (fairly high)level of 'abuse', in a safe, consentual sort of way. She did not wave her ass at everyone and proclaim her need to be treated like an object. On the contrary, she asked for a REFERENCE! She asked to speak to at least one other person I had met online, in order to confirm that I do not have a habit of predatory behavior.

Some people, on the other hand, seem to be looking to be made a victim of...and whther it is intentional, accidental, conscious or not; they are going to attract the wrong types very easily.

I think it is always valid to consider entrapment when anyone tries to ferret out information and cover their own ass at the same time. Those who always question without answering should be considered to possibly be acting in a cautionary mode.
...

If the online woman is needing a REFERENCE for an online play that is rediculous...it is common to ask for one IF *You* approached her..and tried to encourage this need as something she should pursue and damn fast as well!
But when there is nothing to hide and a long conversation of mutual respect is ocurring between two consenting adults it would be more than fair to ask for a reference in this BDSM world.
Of course said reference must be in agreement to having themselves exposed to another also.

Entrapment comes in many forms online from 45 year olds posing as preteens to wives setting up husbands...etc etc etc.

 

[SexyChele]

What an interesting topic. Not just about lance, but about anyone who would make such suggestions via the internet.

However, in this case, we have a man who has admitted to past abuse and firmly believes a tie-in exists between abuse victims and BDSM. Some of this might be attention, yes. But I think a bigger picture is one of a person who was abused at some point in his life, probably sexually, and is finding himself intrigued and possibly turned on by images and thoughts of control aspects of BDSM. However, I don't feel he has yet reconciled or allowed himself to give the "okay" towards this behavior. Possibly brings back the issues surrounding his own abuse? Yet, he is still compelled, still intrigued.

I see a man at odds with himself. Unsettled. Possibly confused about his sexual identity or uncomfortable with his own sexuality. This can be common among adults were victimized as children and have never received closure or counseling. I don't think he knows what he wants, yet. He is searching. And I think he is very, very uncomfortable with his own fantasies and desires. Part of his defense that he is "right" is by attacking or attempting to change those who have accepted those fantasies and desires outright. Something he is either unable or incapable of doing at this point.

I'm beginning to feel more pity than anything else towards this fellow.


Edited to add: At this stage, unless this person receives some sort of counseling, I would be somewhat fearful of him should I be involved with him. Many times those who are fearful or incapable of expressing their desires often turn to violence or self-hatred to deal with the conflict within themselves.

 

[Richard49]

I hestate to post a responds
cause Lance the Moron seems to be stalking me

However here are a few of my observations
1) indicates he was sexually abused as a child
2) has no RL identity
3) entrapment
4) does not handle rejection well
5) attention slutt

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

If the online woman is needing a REFERENCE for an online play that is rediculous...it is common to ask for one IF *You* approached her..and tried to encourage this need as something she should pursue and damn fast as well!
But when there is nothing to hide and a long conversation of mutual respect is ocurring between two consenting adults it would be more than fair to ask for a reference in this BDSM world.
Of course said reference must be in agreement to having themselves exposed to another also.

This is sort of off-topic, but the woman was looking for a reference before begining RL play. Anyone trying to avoid predators, in my mind, is being cautious and wise. I asked another friend to email her, and they have been conversing now as well. It is one extra sort of level of safety, and I can't fault that.

 

[Shadowsdream]

What an interesting topic. Not just about lance, but about anyone who would make such suggestions via the internet.

However, in this case, we have a man who has admitted to past abuse and firmly believes a tie-in exists between abuse victims and BDSM. Some of this might be attention, yes. But I think a bigger picture is one of a person who was abused at some point in his life, probably sexually, and is finding himself intrigued and possibly turned on by images and thoughts of control aspects of BDSM. However, I don't feel he has yet reconciled or allowed himself to give the "okay" towards this behavior. Possibly brings back the issues surrounding his own abuse? Yet, he is still compelled, still intrigued.

I see a man at odds with himself. Unsettled. Possibly confused about his sexual identity or uncomfortable with his own sexuality. This can be common among adults were victimized as children and have never received closure or counseling. I don't think he knows what he wants, yet. He is searching. And I think he is very, very uncomfortable with his own fantasies and desires. Part of his defense that he is "right" is by attacking or attempting to change those who have accepted those fantasies and desires outright. Something he is either unable or incapable of doing at this point.

I'm beginning to feel more pity than anything else towards this fellow.


Edited to add: At this stage, unless this person receives some sort of counseling, I would be somewhat fearful of him should I be involved with him. Many times those who are fearful or incapable of expressing their desires often turn to violence or self-hatred to deal with the conflict within themselves.

So much here to be digested...but one of the most valid points is the abuse that could COME from one with such an inability to accept who they are.
A lack of understanding of oneself while trying to fix others is a sure recipe for disaster for it allows fantasy to be the breeding ground of knowledge. A back door to trying out pre-conceived scenarios that real life will never present.
Then again is it possible that claiming abuse when riding on the back bone of the *saviour* coat tail is a convenient sentence to lull one into acceptance of a point of view that is both offensive and inaccurate?
So much grey between the questions never answered.
I have been waiting for you to come into the conversation ~~smile~~ Thank you.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I wonder if the constant attacks on 'abuse'(real or imagined) is a way to lure people into abuse? In some cases, i could see someone claiming to be against 'all that bad stuff', in order to conceal his own predations. "Hey, let me take you away from that abuse...step into my parlor...", that sort of thing.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I hestate to post a responds
cause Lance the Moron seems to be stalking me

However here are a few of my observations
1) indicates he was sexually abused as a child
2) has no RL identity
3) entrapment
4) does not handle rejection well
5) attention slutt

Hello Richard I am very pleased that You have arrived!

#'s 2 to 5 do seem very credible and on the edge of undeniable..I must confess I am having just a bit of trouble with # 1 though.

I am bordering on the belief any sexual abuse would have ocurred in adulthood and could even possibly be rejection, seen as abuse...

BDSM abuse attacks do not generate venom deeply routed in what happens to one as a child..tying them in together is a smoke screen...now I really wonder what will emerge from that smoke!

 

[Shadowsdream]

I wonder if the constant attacks on 'abuse'(real or imagined) is a way to lure people into abuse? In some cases, i could see someone claiming to be against 'all that bad stuff', in order to conceal his own predations. "Hey, let me take you away from that abuse...step into my parlor...", that sort of thing.

BINGO!
White knights often hide the blackest hearts!

 

[Richard49]

BINGO!
White knights often hide the blackest hearts!

and fariy Princess

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Do I win a prize?

 

[Richard49]

Do I win a prize?

You askin a Dome that?
Brave man

Back to our regular schudled discussion'

 

[Shadowsdream]

Do I win a prize?

You can be certain it won't be the *Booby prize*

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

You can be certain it won't be the *Booby prize*

LOL, and I don't want the 'winking asshole' prize...OK, enough hijacking already! Let's talk about deeply disturbed people who go online with weird hidden agendas. Yeah, that is where teh fun is!

 

[Ebonyfire]

I would add this to the "I'll do anything for you, Mistress" posts that I sometimes get.
It reeks of low self esteem and a bid for attention.

To not discriminate at all is not an attractive trait in a human being. And by discrimination I mean to ability to identify standards and limits of those who you want to be involved with.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I would add this to the "I'll do anything for you, Mistress" posts that I sometimes get.
It reeks of low self esteem and a bid for attention.

To not discriminate at all is not an attractive trait in a human being. And by discrimination I mean to ability to identify standards and limits of those who you want to be involved with.

Ah ha the attention word again...and as You know those " I'll do anything for you, Mistress" posts are not honest but self serving..as in what can YOU do for me!
Which comes back to abusive!

 

[Ebonyfire]

It is more akin to looking for sex in all the wrong places. Gratification is the focus.