Tales from the front lines

[Netzach]

Question out of curitosity: was it personal choice to turn them away, or was it because of prostitution law in your lovely country?

Some of each.

I'm a little itchy about breakin' the law simply because, well, the law of averages says it'll bite me in the ass. Also I like being able to control who I do ass-rape with by not offering it on the menu to everyone if I do go there.

But having to go onto immunosuppressant meds really put the nail in that coffin anyway, so it was nice to have that deciding factor in a way. I wasn't going to go digging around in anonymnous ass when I have medicinally lowered immune response.

 

[RJMasters]

Perhaps my comment may or may not be welcome but will offer it as just a thought to consider. I have heard over and over that the most annoying question is when clients ask what they can do to please you.

Understanding that the number one fustration of men is not knowing what it is women really want. they spend much of their life constantly shell shocked between women who chide them for being weak men, and the other half being told what serious asshole they are.

Often when they are asking its because 1. its a learned response and 2. It would be nice for a change to actually feel they could meet the needs of a woman and by doing so feel that their manhood I validated. It doesn't mean that you should tell them what you really want....but understanding why so many men ask that question will likely have more positive outcomes as you ply your skills and trade.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Perhaps my comment may or may not be welcome but will offer it as just a thought to consider. I have heard over and over that the most annoying question is when clients ask what they can do to please you.

Understanding that the number one fustration of men is not knowing what it is women really want. the spend much of their life constantly shell shocked between women who chide them for being weak men, and the other half being told what serious asshole they are.

Often when they are asking its because 1. its a learned response and 2. It would be nice for a change to actually feel they could meet the needs of a woman and by doing so feel that their manhood I validated. It doesn't mean that you should tell them what you really want....but understanding why so many men ask that question will likely have more positive outcomes as you ply your skills and trade.

RJ...good point and i certainly understand why so many ask the question. with the type who come to see me, i would say it's a toss-up between conditioned vanilla response and ego. a bit frustrating for a subbie like me to deal with, having to explain sometimes over and over and over again, that my pleasure comes solely from pleasing, so really the only thing they can do to please me is to be selfish, focus on themselves and direct me as to how to satisfy them to the fullest. i think a lot of guys have a difficult time really believing that there are actually women out there who honestly and sincerely ONLY care about their pleasure erotically.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Some of each.

I'm a little itchy about breakin' the law simply because, well, the law of averages says it'll bite me in the ass. Also I like being able to control who I do ass-rape with by not offering it on the menu to everyone if I do go there.

But having to go onto immunosuppressant meds really put the nail in that coffin anyway, so it was nice to have that deciding factor in a way. I wasn't going to go digging around in anonymnous ass when I have medicinally lowered immune response.

Makes sense.

The law here is somewhat working in my favor: because prostitution is not illegal but sollicitation is, I can legally charge a fee for 'time' and/or 'companionship', but I can't charge money for sexual services. Which means that I cannot, legally, have a 'menu' of services offered for X price. This of course play against a lot of sex workers for many reasons, but for those like me working for higher end agencies that provide 'GFE', it often works in our favor, as it is understood by most client that YMMV, ie, what you get will vary depending on who you are and how I feel about you.

 

[RJMasters]

RJ...good point and i certainly understand why so many ask the question. with the type who come to see me, i would say it's a toss-up between conditioned vanilla response and ego. a bit frustrating for a subbie like me to deal with, having to explain sometimes over and over and over again, that my pleasure comes solely from pleasing, so really the only thing they can do to please me is to be selfish, focus on themselves and direct me as to how to satisfy them to the fullest. i think a lot of guys have a difficult time really believing that there are actually women out there who honestly and sincerely ONLY care about their pleasure erotically.

I agree. Sometimes a more prudent approach might not be trying to get them to accept or understand that part of you as say...asking them what they think they are good at? Their response will usually coincide with that they truly like and what pleases them.

Your response: what a coincedence, that happens to one of my secret fantasies.....grinz.

You by pass the philosophy of the thing, and he leaves feeling like he just conquered the world. Definate repeater there.....winks.

 

[YourCaptor]

Being paid 250$/one hour for a guy to massage my feet, give me a pedicure, and lick my toes is as close as I've come to get a power trip orgasm. This guy is a keeper.

Wow, that is impressive. $250 USD is 1/5 of my tuition, I feel dirt poor now. In 30 hours you will have made more then my current education is worth.

I’m still telling myself that what you know will get you places, as apposed to who you know or what names you can buy.

*sigh*, I hate the system.

So, how does it feel to be on the other side of the class structure?

 

[BiBunny]

Perhaps my comment may or may not be welcome but will offer it as just a thought to consider. I have heard over and over that the most annoying question is when clients ask what they can do to please you.

Understanding that the number one fustration of men is not knowing what it is women really want. they spend much of their life constantly shell shocked between women who chide them for being weak men, and the other half being told what serious asshole they are.

Often when they are asking its because 1. its a learned response and 2. It would be nice for a change to actually feel they could meet the needs of a woman and by doing so feel that their manhood I validated. It doesn't mean that you should tell them what you really want....but understanding why so many men ask that question will likely have more positive outcomes as you ply your skills and trade.

First of all--and this has been drilled in my head from the very start, too--, in my case, the trade I am plying is a fantasy. I call myself a phone whore because some guy into "humiliating" random phone sex operators called me one, and I thought it was amusing enough to adopt as a moniker, but this is strictly a fantasy endeavor. Unlike DB, I never meet these men, and I'd have my ass fired if I did.

Yes, I'm a sex worker. But I'm also a chameleon--and two-bit actress, if you will. I've posted enough pics here that we all know I'm a tall, overweight brunette, but if the man on the other end of the line wants a short, anorexic blonde, then for the length of that call, I am a short, anorexic blonde. It's lying, yeah, but it's also giving these men the fantasy they're paying their hard-earned money for.

Some of them are so boorish that there's no question in my mind why they're having to call a phone sex line. With approaches like that, they probably never get laid in real life, so I just sort of roll my eyes and go along with it until they cum and slam the phone down (which their type inevitably does). But, on the other hand, there are some whom I pity. They seem to be genuinely nice men. There's one guy in particular that my heart goes out to. I won't post particulars, but he calls and asks for me (well, for my character), and my heart just breaks for him at some of the things he says. He may be full of shit, though; I don't know, just like he doesn't really know anything about me, either.

I pretty much stick to the truth as much as I can when I talk to these men. Unless they specifically ask for the short, anorexic blonde, I'm pretty honest about what I look like and other things I can tell them without either violating my company's rules or endangering my own safety. I don't lie well, so sticking basically to the truth is easier for me than creating an elaborate pile of bullshit.

But what I'm getting at is that these men KNOW they're getting a fantasy when they call me. I can have all the "screaming orgasms" they want to listen to, but it's not real. While I genuinely enjoy most of my callers, I'm not really getting off on what I'm doing. They KNOW not to expect me to tell them what really gets me off. Most of them would probably hang up on me if I said, "Well, I really like being tied up and tortured and humiliated and used like a whore." My job is to subtly delve and see what it is they want and convincingly say, "Wow, I love that, too!", whether "that" is oral sex or horse-fucking.

So the reason I say I don't like it when they ask me that question is that it makes my job harder. I love my job, and I don't think I'm being all noble and self-serving by saying I think I provide a valuable service to people who can't find outlets for their kinks. Because I have a "young-sounding" voice, I get all the "little girl" calls. I enjoy them, and I think it provides an outlet for those men that wouldn't otherwise be there. But to say that it's somehow the fault of women through the ages for these men asking me what I like is stretching it a bit, I think.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I agree. Sometimes a more prudent approach might not be trying to get them to accept or understand that part of you as say...asking them what they think they are good at? Their response will usually coincide with that they truly like and what pleases them.

Your response: what a coincedence, that happens to one of my secret fantasies.....grinz.

You by pass the philosophy of the thing, and he leaves feeling like he just conquered the world. Definate repeater there.....winks.

actually that would work great, so long as his answer wasn't "cunnilingus", lol. sadly a lot of vanillas seem to have an obsession with that particular activity. Daddy is thinking of making it a limit because it's requested so often and it's not the kind of sexual interaction he finds appealing at all. not to mention that i would rather give unmedicated birth to triplets than have a man go down on me!! yech.

 

[RJMasters]

actually that would work great, so long as his answer wasn't "cunnilingus", lol. sadly a lot of vanillas seem to have an obsession with that particular activity. Daddy is thinking of making it a limit because it's requested so often and it's not the kind of sexual interaction he finds appealing at all. not to mention that i would rather give unmedicated birth to triplets than have a man go down on me!! yech.

lol. Well here's hoping that it becomes a limit then so as to remove it up front as an issue. Wishing you well.

 

[RJMasters]

to say that it's somehow the fault of women through the ages for these men asking me what I like is stretching it a bit, I think.

I didn't say that, you did.

I said men have their own issues whether real or imagined. Understanding the source of those issues can often be the easest way to get around them, or even use them to produce the end result you want.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Perhaps my comment may or may not be welcome but will offer it as just a thought to consider. I have heard over and over that the most annoying question is when clients ask what they can do to please you.

Understanding that the number one fustration of men is not knowing what it is women really want. they spend much of their life constantly shell shocked between women who chide them for being weak men, and the other half being told what serious asshole they are.

Often when they are asking its because 1. its a learned response and 2. It would be nice for a change to actually feel they could meet the needs of a woman and by doing so feel that their manhood I validated. It doesn't mean that you should tell them what you really want....but understanding why so many men ask that question will likely have more positive outcomes as you ply your skills and trade.

Why men ask this question is not a mystery to me. I do understand where it's coming from and what anxieties/desires often underwrite their asking this question. So far, I'm doing pretty well in this business, which I think says something about my ability to read the guys and respond appropriately.

But understanding it doesn't prevent me from finding it funny, sometimes annoying, and often at once pathetic and endearing. I find particularly interesting the mental gymnastic and cognitive dissonnance necessary for a guy who *pays me* to be intimate with him to ask me what *I* like. Because if you look at it from *my* perspective rather than from the perspective of the rich white man who is confused about what it is that women wants, what you get is a guy who isn't satisfied with commodifying my body/sexuality for his pleasure, but he also wants me to reassure him that he is man enough to please me while he does so. That's a fucked up mix of male entitlement and fragile male ego if you ask me.

 

[RJMasters]

Why men ask this question is not a mystery to me. I do understand where it's coming from and what anxieties/desires often underwrite their asking this question. So far, I'm doing pretty well in this business, which I think says something about my ability to read the guys and respond appropriately.

But understanding it doesn't prevent me from finding it funny, sometimes annoying, and often at once pathetic and endearing. I find particularly interesting the mental gymnastic and cognitive dissonnance necessary for a guy who *pays me* to be intimate with him to ask me what *I* like. Because if you look at it from *my* perspective rather than from the perspective of the rich white man who is confused about what it is that women wants, what you get is a guy who isn't satisfied with commodifying my body/sexuality for his pleasure, but he also wants me to reassure him that he is man enough to please me while he does so. That's a fucked up mix of male entitlement and fragile male ego if you ask me.

Yep. That's probably also why they are shelling out money for companionship or sex, or part of the why. Forgive me for interupting your thread. I was reading with interest and thought I would add a comment based off what I saw, it wasn't meant to challenge anyone. I can imagine that when men do this, it can be rather annoying, and funny at times.

 

[EmpressFi]

But to say that it's somehow the fault of women through the ages for these men asking me what I like is stretching it a bit, I think.

I do have problem with reading comprehension at times, but what I got from his statement wasnt that it was women's fault... but.. more modern culture. I mean, look at books like the Venus/Mars books and sitcoms, etc. How often is the schtick about the stupid husband who doesnt ask/notice what his wife really wants is someone to <insert action here> ... one that comes to mind was on Everybody Loves Raymond when the wife had terrible PMS. No matter what Ray tried, it was still wrong

Yeah, it's great for comedy, but I still see alot in our culture where Men dont "understand" what women want and caring, considerate men should ask. That was what I got from his statement, that maybe the callers ask what you like or what makes you hot, even when trying to be Dominant, because they're trying to match what the psychobabble says they should be doing.

/shrug just a hypothesis

 

[DeservingBitch]

Yep. That's probably also why they are shelling out money for companionship or sex, or part of the why. Forgive me for interupting your thread. I was reading with interest and thought I would add a comment based off what I saw, it wasn't meant to challenge anyone. I can imagine that when men do this, it can be rather annoying, and funny at times.

No need to apologise. The thread is open to all who want to discuss sex work or share stories.

I should maybe add that so far, I've heard more stupidity and/or entitlement from undergrad students than I have heard from johns.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Wow, that is impressive. $250 USD is 1/5 of my tuition, I feel dirt poor now. In 30 hours you will have made more then my current education is worth.

I’m still telling myself that what you know will get you places, as apposed to who you know or what names you can buy.

*sigh*, I hate the system.

So, how does it feel to be on the other side of the class structure?

Well, I'm not making 250/hour. More like 150/hour. There's a cut that goes to the driver and the agency. But even then, it IS indeed a lot of money.

I have made this week-end the equivalent of my regular monthly revenu.

But it is more work than it sounds actually. Yesterday for instance, I got in the car for my first call at 4pm, and I was back home at 5am after doing 4 calls in total. That's a 13 hours shift. So, yes, I made good money, but if you count in the hours of driving around, waiting, and such, it's not like I'm really making 150/hour. And of course, you have to add in the costs in both money and time of being 'pretty' (manicure, pedicure, lingerie, clothes, etc.).

Of course, even with all that, it's still more money than a 'regular' job. But it's not 'easy' money by any mean.

 

[sanjuaneros]

What your number? I can speak into the phone.

Ok, I just realized that that post up there sounds grumpy. I actually love my job, and there are some really nice men who call me. But some of the stuff is rather...odd...indeed.

 

[Netzach]

I hear a lot of mystification about what women want. The sad thing, I think, is that I *know* I've had more intimate, pointed, and on-topic conversations about sex than a lot of my callers have *ever* had with a spouse.

Phone domination/sex is as much shrinkery as anything else. Sometimes I miss beating 'em in person because it's more active mind game and less psychoanalysis. I have a phone client who exhausts me more than most of my 4 hour mondo bondage sessions did. I can talk to him for 2 hours, and I like the guy a lot, but I am fried when done. Crispy.

 

[Homburg]

You guys need to stop asking me what I'd like to do or telling me to do whatever I feel like. You and your balls don't want me to go there. Believe me.

This honestly made me laugh =)

Facking sexual pleasure is easy in comparison to facking appreciating the company of the very people I see as the epitomy of what is wrong with this world.

I'd figured this would be an issue.

"Are you clean?" - no I'm not. So, wanna do it on the couch or in the bedroom?

*snort*

 

[BiBunny]

I do have problem with reading comprehension at times, but what I got from his statement wasnt that it was women's fault... but.. more modern culture. I mean, look at books like the Venus/Mars books and sitcoms, etc. How often is the schtick about the stupid husband who doesnt ask/notice what his wife really wants is someone to <insert action here> ... one that comes to mind was on Everybody Loves Raymond when the wife had terrible PMS. No matter what Ray tried, it was still wrong

Yeah, it's great for comedy, but I still see alot in our culture where Men dont "understand" what women want and caring, considerate men should ask. That was what I got from his statement, that maybe the callers ask what you like or what makes you hot, even when trying to be Dominant, because they're trying to match what the psychobabble says they should be doing.

/shrug just a hypothesis

Meh, I looked back over what I said and saw that it didn't make much sense. That's what I get for trying to sound intelligent while I'm on a call. Sorry 'bout that.

Well, I'm not making 250/hour. More like 150/hour. There's a cut that goes to the driver and the agency. But even then, it IS indeed a lot of money.

I have made this week-end the equivalent of my regular monthly revenu.

But it is more work than it sounds actually. Yesterday for instance, I got in the car for my first call at 4pm, and I was back home at 5am after doing 4 calls in total. That's a 13 hours shift. So, yes, I made good money, but if you count in the hours of driving around, waiting, and such, it's not like I'm really making 150/hour. And of course, you have to add in the costs in both money and time of being 'pretty' (manicure, pedicure, lingerie, clothes, etc.).

Of course, even with all that, it's still more money than a 'regular' job. But it's not 'easy' money by any mean.

You make way more money than me! But the trade-off, of course, is that I can sit around the house in my pajamas.

What your number? I can speak into the phone.

*Giggle* Wanna leave me a hefty tip when you're done, too? That's a guaranteed way to make me remember you favorably.

I hear a lot of mystification about what women want. The sad thing, I think, is that I *know* I've had more intimate, pointed, and on-topic conversations about sex than a lot of my callers have *ever* had with a spouse.

Phone domination/sex is as much shrinkery as anything else. Sometimes I miss beating 'em in person because it's more active mind game and less psychoanalysis. I have a phone client who exhausts me more than most of my 4 hour mondo bondage sessions did. I can talk to him for 2 hours, and I like the guy a lot, but I am fried when done. Crispy.

Yes, yes, yes, on the shinkery part. Sometimes I thank God for my psych degree when I do this job. I often have a killer headache when I go offline. There's only so much I can deal with.

 

[sanjuaneros]

Sure anything for you.

*Giggle* Wanna leave me a hefty tip when you're done, too? That's a guaranteed way to make me remember you favorably.

 

[YourCaptor]

Well, I'm not making 250/hour. More like 150/hour. There's a cut that goes to the driver and the agency. But even then, it IS indeed a lot of money.

I have made this week-end the equivalent of my regular monthly revenu.

But it is more work than it sounds actually. Yesterday for instance, I got in the car for my first call at 4pm, and I was back home at 5am after doing 4 calls in total. That's a 13 hours shift. So, yes, I made good money, but if you count in the hours of driving around, waiting, and such, it's not like I'm really making 150/hour. And of course, you have to add in the costs in both money and time of being 'pretty' (manicure, pedicure, lingerie, clothes, etc.).

Of course, even with all that, it's still more money than a 'regular' job. But it's not 'easy' money by any mean.

Just curious, I don’t know Canadian law, so… taxes?

---

As for the "men asking permission" conversation.

My professor, almost radical feminist may I add… (for credibility purposes), she told me in the modern age men actually have it harder then women.

To sum up her point quickly. When men are single they are expected to be aggressive, go out, sweep the girl off her feet, and fuck around a lot… as well as have no feelings or soul. Then when they get married they are suppose to work along side women, take care of kids, be emotional and understanding, etc.

Anyway, I thought it was interesting and relevant.

Hope that makes some sense because I can’t get myself to concentrate!!

 

[DeservingBitch]

You make way more money than me! But the trade-off, of course, is that I can sit around the house in my pajamas.

Know what? I'm actually enjoying dressing up for the job. I like dressing up and being all pretty and stuff, but I'm not going to go teach in 4 inches heels you know? So, this job gives me the occasion to wear all my pretty skirts, lingerie, hoserie, and heels. I like that.

On the 'what is it that women want' topic: once you figure out that women are *shock* human beings, it's not that hard. People like attention, like feeling loved and special, like feeling unique. Women are people.

 

[Netzach]

I'm not in Canada, but I always found something to call myself and paid whatever I was expected to pay on what I made, minus my expenses. Like any other IC.

I figure if I have to put on a jumpsuit, orange is NOT my color of choice, if that makes sense.

 

[FurryFury]

*lurks with a smile*

 

[DeservingBitch]

I'm not in Canada, but I always found something to call myself and paid whatever I was expected to pay on what I made, minus my expenses. Like any other IC.

I figure if I have to put on a jumpsuit, orange is NOT my color of choice, if that makes sense.

Same here. Orange would be terrible with my skin tone.