Tales from the front lines

[FurryFury]

Agreed. It's a weird cocktail of money and entitlement and sex. I've never known a woman who felt entitled to commodify someone that much as a sexual object, but I've known TONS of women who have no issues commodifying a woman for housework and child care with near slave-status.

I've always thought that if I were single and had the money, I'd love to pay for it. It's a power and convenience thing in my mind. I want sex and I also want them to go away. I'm a shy loner at heart.

I can't say that I've changed my mind on that even though I've now found that "love" does indeed exist. Of course now I want more than just sex. I want D/s sex. So that would be a bit harder to "buy." Not impossible though.

Of course, in the best of all possible worlds, I'd have a love relationship with someone I could stand that was D/s.

I'd love for my house to be magically clean and well ordered as well. I just hate dealing with another person in my house period.

I prefer to parent my kids myself.

I've never understood how people can stand to have "workers" all around them or feel that entitled.

 

[Netzach]

I was with a woman that told me "Oh god, I would pay you to do this to me."

Lying bitch never followed through.

Hey, you gotta close on these things.

 

[FurryFury]

I was with a woman that told me "Oh god, I would pay you to do this to me."

Lying bitch never followed through.

Most women don't have the money for such things. If they do, they tend to be the sort that hang onto that money. That's one reason they have any.

LOL

 

[Netzach]

I've always thought that if I were single and had the money, I'd love to pay for it. It's a power and convenience thing in my mind. I want sex and I also want them to go away. I'm a shy loner at heart.

I can't say that I've changed my mind on that even though I've now found that "love" does indeed exist. Of course now I want more than just sex. I want D/s sex. So that would be a bit harder to "buy." Not impossible though.

Of course, in the best of all possible worlds, I'd have a love relationship with someone I could stand that was D/s.

I'd love for my house to be magically clean and well ordered as well. I just hate dealing with another person in my house period.

I prefer to parent my kids myself.

I've never understood how people can stand to have "workers" all around them or feel that entitled.

I've thought about that, too, but then I think about how weird I'd actually feel when this dude would show up, assuming a dude, and how I'd be freaking out about whether they were clean or not the entire time, I'd probably just order something pretty and spend 250 for him to stand there and look nice.

Hot pro femsub to beat has occurred to me, but I'd be wondering if I was getting to her or if she was just bored and acting too much.

I'm such a guy sometimes.

 

[Homburg]

Hey, you gotta close on these things.

Good point. She did at least take me out to dinner a few times*. I should've gone for the cash close though.






* And lunch. And breakfast. More than a few times. Apparently I work for food. I feel less than bright now.

 

[Homburg]

Most women don't have the money for such things. If they do, they tend to be the sort that hang onto that money. That's one reason they have any.

LOL

Heh, it wouldn't have taken much. After all, I was doing it for free of my own accord. It's more the principle of the thing.

And my head just exploded from the catastrophic cognitive dissonance I just experience.

 

[MzChrista]

I admit it, I have had moments where I am amazed that I am being paid to do whatever I'm doing.

But I like men ok, and I love perverts and talking to them overall. I don't think there's anything to be ashamed of, so that makes it even MORE fun for me to say something like "and don't you think you're just a bit, DISGUSTING, stealing your wife's drawers?"

Whenever I had guys come in and ask for something really out there my main reaction was to be amazed at the imagination these dudes had.

Yeah some of them were kind of disgusting but it usually was something about them that had nothing to do with the sexuality of the situation.

Theres fuckheads out there raping kids, I aint gonna use up my disgust on some gay that wants to wear a rubber diaper.

 

[MzChrista]

Agreed. It's a weird cocktail of money and entitlement and sex. I've never known a woman who felt entitled to commodify someone that much as a sexual object, but I've known TONS of women who have no issues commodifying a woman for housework and child care with near slave-status.

So do you think class is a bigger deal than gender?

 

[MzChrista]

I actually did pretty well with clients who wanted me in charge, who were paying for the "Netzach Experience Ride" as I liked to call it.

Show up, we play. How, is up to me.

A lot of them were experienced and had been around and had their scene their way umpteen times and really didn't feel like they'd ever submitted.

The problem I ran into was this:

when you like what you are doing that much, and it turns you on, you can often make really idiotic business decisions and expenditures. Anything can be bought for this business.

I wasn't saving.

Stupid and ultimately untenable.

I hear ya. I would get guys say to me "I didnt really feel like I was submitting". Well, yeah dude, you give me a damn script to follow. But those guys didnt usually come back. When I moved up to a more I guess you'd say "self aware" clientele it was less of a problem.

 

[MzChrista]

Hey, you gotta close on these things.

See, he probably went and did it again anyway, even without the payday. bad bad business.

 

[Netzach]

So do you think class is a bigger deal than gender?

I think that gender has been made into a much bigger deal than class has among feminists, and I think that needs to be questioned. I don't rank the stuff, I just grew up working class and got scholarshipped into the Ivory Tower and ran into all these theorists telling me that it's my pussy that's my primary oppression in life, when that ran way counter to my experience.

 

[Netzach]

See, he probably went and did it again anyway, even without the payday. bad bad business.

Haha, totally.

Hommie - tip - make 'em put the envelope down first. Count it discreetly when they are blindfolded - THEN get into it.

 

[MzChrista]

I think that gender has been made into a much bigger deal than class has among feminists, and I think that needs to be questioned. I don't rank the stuff, I just grew up working class and got scholarshipped into the Ivory Tower and ran into all these theorists telling me that it's my pussy that's my primary oppression in life, when that ran way counter to my experience.

Im hip. I grew up not quite shit poor in a shit poor neighborhood. Even as a kid I could see that in some areas of life it was the women who held the power. But poor is poor no matter what.

 

[Homburg]

See, he probably went and did it again anyway, even without the payday. bad bad business.

I'm so ashamed.

*hangs head*

------

Haha, totally.

Hommie - tip - make 'em put the envelope down first. Count it discreetly when they are blindfolded - THEN get into it.

*takes notes*

Dude, I'm totally on my way to becoming a pro-dom.

-------

I think that gender has been made into a much bigger deal than class has among feminists, and I think that needs to be questioned. I don't rank the stuff, I just grew up working class and got scholarshipped into the Ivory Tower and ran into all these theorists telling me that it's my pussy that's my primary oppression in life, when that ran way counter to my experience.

Personally, I am class-focused more than anything else. Yes, gender and race cause issues, but nothing seems to limit/entitle more than class. That is one reason why I was trying to remove money/class from my question above.

 

[MzChrista]

I'm so ashamed.

*hangs head*

------



*takes notes*

Dude, I'm totally on my way to becoming a pro-dom.

-------



Personally, I am class-focused more than anything else. Yes, gender and race cause issues, but nothing seems to limit/entitle more than class. That is one reason why I was trying to remove money/class from my question above.

You cant though. The three are all bound together. Race isnt just an issue because some people are yahoos. Its an issue because somebody benefits from inequality. Women dont get the short end of the stick just because we cant write our names in the snow. Somebody is up because were down.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Agreed. It's a weird cocktail of money and entitlement and sex. I've never known a woman who felt entitled to commodify someone that much as a sexual object, but I've known TONS of women who have no issues commodifying a woman for housework and child care with near slave-status.

Yes thank you. That is a great way to put it.

There's a continuum here: the commidification and exploitation of women's caring/reproductive work. And certainly, white bourgeois women have been benefiting from and actively participating in this commodification.

 

[Homburg]

You cant though. The three are all bound together. Race isnt just an issue because some people are yahoos. Its an issue because somebody benefits from inequality. Women dont get the short end of the stick just because we cant write our names in the snow. Somebody is up because were down.

I agree, I just tend to be class-focused. That seems to be the one that is the hardest to ignore. Could just be my focus given my background.

 

[DeservingBitch]

Actually, on a realistic note, a huge amount of men who pay for it are not paying for it because it is the only way they can get sex...that is a stereotype that IMO rarely rings true. Some pay for it because they travel with work and do not want to spend their hard earned cash and time trying to first wine and dine (or just wine) a woman they meet by chance, hoping it will lead to a bedroom romp, but often finding that after the expenditure of money and time they are left sleeping alone anyway, or with yet another woman demanding more than they want to give. Some pay because they don't want to deal with attitude from a woman, whether it be any woman, their wife, or girlfriend, so to then as a worker carry that air of attitude can seriously lose work and if there is a network where such things are discussed by clients and workers, will lose a lot of new business as well. Some men pay because they get off on the whole idea. Some pay because they want the freedom to be able to ask for what they want without any feeling of guilt and/or obligation. Some pay because their partner is seriously ill and by going to a sex worker they can have their needs met without emotional entanglement and threat to their relationship. And just maybe, what they do want to do is please a woman or believe they have, so if they are prepared to pay for that service, is it so difficult to provide what they have paid and asked for? Just a thought based on what I do know of the industry.
Catalina

Of course.

So far, most of the men I've seen were married.
One is quadraplegic.
A few are mid-30s early 40s workolic single guys who have no interest in the dating scene.
Many are somewhat insecure around women. They don't want to do the 'aggressive' work and take the lead.
A LOT of the guys will spend at least half of the time they pay just chatting. they are looking for more than sex: they want someone to care about them.
And one of the guy I saw was explicitly getting off on just the idea of paying for sex. Interestingly, he was also full of guilt: I didn't have my clothes back on that he was interogating me about my health and hygiene practices and whether I have STDs and stuff.

I don't think it's possible to succeed in this business and remain sane if you truly dislike the guys or lack complete respect for them. But I also think that distancing yourself from the johns (which making fun of them is all about, or theorizing and analyzing sex work 'detached' intellectual position like I'm somewhat doing here) is also healthy.

 

[DeservingBitch]

I agree, I just tend to be class-focused. That seems to be the one that is the hardest to ignore. Could just be my focus given my background.

The way I understand it, class, gender, race, sexuality, etc. are all made possible through another. Which is to say that it is useless to try to pinpoint the ultimate site of oppression.

Take for instance white middle-class women. They and what they represent is made possible through both the identity and the exploitation of the work of women of color and poor women. The madonna doesn't exist without the whore and the work that the whore does. And both the madonna and the whore exist only through their subordinated relation to men.

 

[BiBunny]

I don't think it's possible to succeed in this business and remain sane if you truly dislike the guys or lack complete respect for them. But I also think that distancing yourself from the johns (which making fun of them is all about, or theorizing and analyzing sex work 'detached' intellectual position like I'm somewhat doing here) is also healthy.

Ditto. I love my job, but you have to blow off steam some way. I've always said that when you're faced with something, you can laugh hysterically, or you can cry hysterically. I prefer laughing hysterically if at all possible.

And I'll probably come back to the gender/race/class later. I got a call in the middle of typing this, and I have no idea where I was going to go with it now, LOL.

 

[MzChrista]

Of course.

So far, most of the men I've seen were married.
One is quadraplegic.
A few are mid-30s early 40s workolic single guys who have no interest in the dating scene.
Many are somewhat insecure around women. They don't want to do the 'aggressive' work and take the lead.
A LOT of the guys will spend at least half of the time they pay just chatting. they are looking for more than sex: they want someone to care about them.
And one of the guy I saw was explicitly getting off on just the idea of paying for sex. Interestingly, he was also full of guilt: I didn't have my clothes back on that he was interogating me about my health and hygiene practices and whether I have STDs and stuff.

I don't think it's possible to succeed in this business and remain sane if you truly dislike the guys or lack complete respect for them. But I also think that distancing yourself from the johns (which making fun of them is all about, or theorizing and analyzing sex work 'detached' intellectual position like I'm somewhat doing here) is also healthy.

Does ANYBODY have a job where they dont use humor to get through things. I never heard of one.

Besides, and maybe this is more true with Domming than escorting, you have to keep in mind that you are still a woman and he is still a man and he could turn on you and hurt you if he chooses. So you cant go into every situation singing Kumbaya. Sub rage is real. I have seen dudes who are happy little puppies one minute come up off the bench raging like a Michael Vicks dog the next. So keeping a suspicious eye on them is just good sense.

 

[MzChrista]

The way I understand it, class, gender, race, sexuality, etc. are all made possible through another. Which is to say that it is useless to try to pinpoint the ultimate site of oppression.

Take for instance white middle-class women. They and what they represent is made possible through both the identity and the exploitation of the work of women of color and poor women. The madonna doesn't exist without the whore and the work that the whore does. And both the madonna and the whore exist only through their subordinated relation to men.

I said the same thing only you were articulate. hahaha

 

[MzChrista]

Ditto. I love my job, but you have to blow off steam some way. I've always said that when you're faced with something, you can laugh hysterically, or you can cry hysterically. I prefer laughing hysterically if at all possible.

And I'll probably come back to the gender/race/class later. I got a call in the middle of typing this, and I have no idea where I was going to go with it now, LOL.

I want to meet the person who keeps a straight face when some dude comes in with a plastic container full of worms and wants you to step on them while he jacks off.

 

[Netzach]

Does ANYBODY have a job where they dont use humor to get through things. I never heard of one.

Besides, and maybe this is more true with Domming than escorting, you have to keep in mind that you are still a woman and he is still a man and he could turn on you and hurt you if he chooses. So you cant go into every situation singing Kumbaya. Sub rage is real. I have seen dudes who are happy little puppies one minute come up off the bench raging like a Michael Vicks dog the next. So keeping a suspicious eye on them is just good sense.

Totally true. There's a friendly but slightly adversarial relationship at best, as with ANY client/provider relationship, whether you're selling cars or your smelly pantyhose.

 

[MzChrista]

Totally true. There's a friendly but slightly adversarial relationship at best, as with ANY client/provider relationship, whether you're selling cars or your smelly pantyhose.

My lazy ass isnt going to look for it but I think DB said something about having a driver go with her. Thats a common practice for escorts, isnt it?

Cause I gotta tell you, I know a lot of Dommes dont take that precaution whether they are incall or outcall.