Teacher/student relations

[Bigboobbabe]

He is. But when I saw your reply, a messed up part of me promptly googled "How to seduce a married man". I scrolled at the first page of results, clicked on a Quora result, then clicked out due to guilt. I'd feel too much guilt to actually pursue him in real life for that reason, because he is married. But the fact that he is married only makes him more of a forbidden fruit for me. At least I will always have my fantasies.

He was married when you were a student, but is he now?
A very casual, platonic message my be welcomed as my professor husband feels detached from his students right now.

 

[SquidProQuo]

...if a student with subtlety and tact, particularly a former student, indicates there own openness or flirts cautiously, it means the world to us! It doesn't mean anything is going to happen, but it is reassuring that we connect with some students in different ways...

That definitely gives me some semblance of solace in my unrequited crush to my former professor. I luckily can exercise subtlety and tact if I choose to email him, thanking him as a professor. Plus I will have officially been out of undergrad for a full four years by this December of 2020. Time flies. I miss academia but at least I can still do grad school if I chose to.

 

[SquidProQuo]

He was married when you were a student, but is he now?
A very casual, platonic message my be welcomed as my professor husband feels detached from his students right now.

True. It is possible that things changed since I last saw him. I plan on sending him an encouraging expression of gratitude to test the waters. I will be smart enough to keep it sane and appropriate, definitely not anything wild. He might feel exhausted right now having to turn all his courses online only last minute due to the pandemic. I feel bad for both instructors and current students at all educational levels right now.

 

[lordfarquat]

I am now a high school principal and taught for a number of years before, and enjoy my job greatly so I cannot say I have had any relations with students. However, when I was an upperclassmen in college and in grad school, I did some tutoring. I certainly loved taking advantage of the teacher-student dynamic...I love teaching.

 

[RipRespon]

Probably not what you’re looking for but back in the 70’s I slept with 2 different teachers in two different HS’s I went to, both were male male relationships. The first I cannot talk about here, but the second happened when I was 18 and a senior, he was 32. After I started supplying him weed I learned he was gay and then stoned one day at his place I shared my past teacher experience with him. That led to a several months long relationship of crazy domination and light S&M where I got used like the twink slut I was craving to be.

 

[Rachjenn2818]

Probably not what you’re looking for but back in the 70’s I slept with 2 different teachers in two different HS’s I went to, both were male male relationships. The first I cannot talk about here, but the second happened when I was 18 and a senior, he was 32. After I started supplying him weed I learned he was gay and then stoned one day at his place I shared my past teacher experience with him. That led to a several months long relationship of crazy domination and light S&M where I got used like the twink slut I was craving to be.

Honest and refreshing

 

[Jerseyshore]

Probably not what you’re looking for but back in the 70’s I slept with 2 different teachers in two different HS’s I went to, both were male male relationships. The first I cannot talk about here, but the second happened when I was 18 and a senior, he was 32. After I started supplying him weed I learned he was gay and then stoned one day at his place I shared my past teacher experience with him. That led to a several months long relationship of crazy domination and light S&M where I got used like the twink slut I was craving to be.

Like yourself I can't discuss my gay relationship with a teacher but it does happen.

 

[WhO2]

I’m sure there is post/thread on this particular board regarding the above mentioned subject. Anyone here been in that situation? Were you student or teacher?

I never had sex with a student but did have a young lady give me an essay about catching her favorite teacher alone after school and seducing him (I was her Englishteacher). A couple of years later I did have sex with a student teacher (22 year old college senior)

 

[geronimo_appleby]

this is one of those lines with me. i spent a couple of years as a platoon sergeant involved in training recruits. i had several opportunities in which i could have availed myself of firm [female] flesh. i always declined. seemed wrong that i should use the authoritarian role i possessed to take advantage, which is how i see it, of a vulnerable younger woman. from my POV, they were in my care. it would have been an abuse of trust on several levels if i'd succumbed.

do i regret it? yes and no. i coulda had some very, very attractive young women, two at one time was one offer.

but i think being able to look their fathers' in the eye and take a drink at the end of training was more satisfying in the end.

just my take. what you think of it isn't my business.

 

[RelentlessOnanism]

Underage reference

 

[BlackSatinKnight]

this is one of those lines with me. i spent a couple of years as a platoon sergeant involved in training recruits. i had several opportunities in which i could have availed myself of firm [female] flesh. i always declined. seemed wrong that i should use the authoritarian role i possessed to take advantage, which is how i see it, of a vulnerable younger woman. from my POV, they were in my care. it would have been an abuse of trust on several levels if i'd succumbed.

do i regret it? yes and no. i coulda had some very, very attractive young women, two at one time was one offer.

but i think being able to look their fathers' in the eye and take a drink at the end of training was more satisfying in the end.
just my take. what you think of it isn't my business.

I applaud your professionalism and following your moral compass with these young ladies who were in a vulnerable position.

 

[Rumi2018]

A friend of my wife married her hs math teacher. They met up after she graduated. I was against it at the time in principle because of the power dynamic but supportive over time.

 

[Rumi2018]

A friend of my wife married her hs math teacher. They met up after she graduated. I was against it at the time in principle because of the power dynamic but supportive over time. She became a teacher as well.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

A friend of my wife married her hs math teacher. They met up after she graduated. I was against it at the time in principle because of the power dynamic but supportive over time.

Why are we so quick to judge that a relationship that was predicated on a power differential at one point in time or in one context, remains just that? don't you think the (usually) women who are involved in such relationships see it for themselves? Further, what is wrong with a power differential in a relationship - if that is what both partners want? There is a whole forum dedicated to bdsm - it isn't just sexual acts, but D/s relationships, some of which might include power differentials in their social worlds too. What is wrong with that? why do we judge that as wrong?

I'm not meaning to point you out Rumi, your reaction is very common, but is it healthy???

LY

 

[Rumi2018]

Why are we so quick to judge that a relationship that was predicated on a power differential at one point in time or in one context, remains just that? don't you think the (usually) women who are involved in such relationships see it for themselves? Further, what is wrong with a power differential in a relationship - if that is what both partners want? There is a whole forum dedicated to bdsm - it isn't just sexual acts, but D/s relationships, some of which might include power differentials in their social worlds too. What is wrong with that? why do we judge that as wrong?

I'm not meaning to point you out Rumi, your reaction is very common, but is it healthy???

LY

Possibly. In her case, she was abused and confused and the flirting began when he was her teacher. To my knowledge they didn’t act on it until after she graduated. She was more psychologically healthy and was getting more support in her life at that point, but what I was getting to was the fact that it began at a moment of weakness and vulnerability on her part. He chose the opposite path of the drill sergeant and go posted earlier and didn’t take opportunities with that power dynamic. If both partners freely choose their dominant/submissive roles I do t see a problem with that, assuming both are equal partners.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Possibly. In her case, she was abused and confused and the flirting began when he was her teacher. To my knowledge they didn’t act on it until after she graduated. She was more psychologically healthy and was getting more support in her life at that point, but what I was getting to was the fact that it began at a moment of weakness and vulnerability on her part. He chose the opposite path of the drill sergeant and go posted earlier and didn’t take opportunities with that power dynamic. If both partners freely choose their dominant/submissive roles I do t see a problem with that, assuming both are equal partners.

What you raise is actually quite important - every case is different really depending on the "mental place" of the one who is in the weaker position and the degree of responsibility of the one who is in the more powerful position. Such power differentials can be good, they can be bad, they can be manipulative, they can actually be healing - each relationship needs to be evaluated on its own merit and not based on some sweeping generalizations/assumptions...

 

[cruzn2u2]

End of the Semister Treat

I met a woman that was Ivy League College professor. Her husband transferred to Hampton Roads before he retired from the Navy. So she taught a couple of classes to keep herself busy and worked as a private fitness instruction at a local gym. She told me to inspire her male students, she would tease them during the semester and encourage them to get an A in class and in return she would give them a special treat. It seems her husband's cock was over 10 inches not erect and caused her great pain during and after sex. They agreed in their first year of marriage to have an open marriage including swinging with other couples weekly. Well if the male student got A's she would have him over for sex. This went over for years. After she moved she kept in touch and occasionally have 2-4 over of them over for a gangbang when they were passing through. The last time we talked she was experimenting with her female college students and was enjoying the change.

 

[wifewatcher1997]

Would not cross that line but if I had the chance to meet up with a former student once they are in their 20's or older, then yes, I would be game.

Now, I do have many dreams and fantasies that involves former and current students.

 

[lovepussy691]

this is one of those lines with me. i spent a couple of years as a platoon sergeant involved in training recruits. i had several opportunities in which i could have availed myself of firm [female] flesh. i always declined. seemed wrong that i should use the authoritarian role i possessed to take advantage, which is how i see it, of a vulnerable younger woman. from my POV, they were in my care. it would have been an abuse of trust on several levels if i'd succumbed.

do i regret it? yes and no. i coulda had some very, very attractive young women, two at one time was one offer.

but i think being able to look their fathers' in the eye and take a drink at the end of training was more satisfying in the end.

just my take. what you think of it isn't my business.

I applaud your professionalism. Literotica, and other things online, are fun fantasy, but in real life it would be nice to have more upstanding behavior like this.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I applaud your professionalism. Literotica, and other things online, are fun fantasy, but in real life it would be nice to have more upstanding behavior like this.

why does one assume having sex is unprofessional? if it is manipulated or coercive or comes with some kind of quid pro quo - yes, there are some serious ethical issues. But that is the case regardless of the nature of the relationship (be it husband and wife, or teacher and student, or a man and woman meeting at a bar or over Tinder). But if it is two individuals who are acting out their own desires, lusts, fantasies, love, whatever - what's wrong with it? Be it incest, be it subordinates, be it gay/bi/pan/whatever...

 

[geronimo_appleby]

why does one assume having sex is unprofessional? if it is manipulated or coercive or comes with some kind of quid pro quo - yes, there are some serious ethical issues. But that is the case regardless of the nature of the relationship (be it husband and wife, or teacher and student, or a man and woman meeting at a bar or over Tinder). But if it is two individuals who are acting out their own desires, lusts, fantasies, love, whatever - what's wrong with it? Be it incest, be it subordinates, be it gay/bi/pan/whatever...

no assumption to it as far as my post is concerned. those recruits were in my care. the fathers of the female recruits would have been less than pleased if i'd succumbed to the temptation. in addition, there's the power dynamic to consider. from their perspective i had authority which could seriously influence their immediate lives - restrictions in privileges, etc. for me to engage sexually would seriously compromise that authority, and therefore dilute or even negate my effectiveness from a discipline point of view. as well as that, how do you think the male recruits would have felt? favouring the girls over the boys may have affected morale. the male recruits would most likely resent me and also lose respect.

remove that from the training environment and dump it into an operational scenario and watch it unravel.

so, kinda unprofessional, no?

 

[Muwarr90]

why does one assume having sex is unprofessional? if it is manipulated or coercive or comes with some kind of quid pro quo - yes, there are some serious ethical issues. But that is the case regardless of the nature of the relationship (be it husband and wife, or teacher and student, or a man and woman meeting at a bar or over Tinder). But if it is two individuals who are acting out their own desires, lusts, fantasies, love, whatever - what's wrong with it? Be it incest, be it subordinates, be it gay/bi/pan/whatever...

People aren't mind readers. It's terribly difficult to know what another person is thinking.

What a person in authority may honestly intend to be a "no strings" approach to a subordinate, probably won't look that clear cut from the subordinate's point of view. It's utterly reasonable and very likely that the subordinate will have some concern about what the impact of refusal will be. That may affect their decision to accept the offer, or leave them concerned about their status in the organization post refusal. The authority figure can swear up and down that there will be no consequences for refusal (or acceptance), but the subordinate can't, and shouldn't, blindly accept that such assurances are true.

 

[StrongMaster7]

Underage reference

 

[twister947]

Some women are "starfuckers", which raises the question, "Who's using whom?"

 

[Lost_Yonder]

no assumption to it as far as my post is concerned. those recruits were in my care. the fathers of the female recruits would have been less than pleased if i'd succumbed to the temptation. in addition, there's the power dynamic to consider. from their perspective i had authority which could seriously influence their immediate lives - restrictions in privileges, etc. for me to engage sexually would seriously compromise that authority, and therefore dilute or even negate my effectiveness from a discipline point of view. as well as that, how do you think the male recruits would have felt? favouring the girls over the boys may have affected morale. the male recruits would most likely resent me and also lose respect.

remove that from the training environment and dump it into an operational scenario and watch it unravel.

so, kinda unprofessional, no?

First, my comment was directed to the person replying to your own posting, attempting to transform your personal decision and your very particular institutional context into a universal normative maxim.

Second, you situation was a radically different context than the majority of people on here who are teachers. Those in secondary/high schools compared to those of us in colleges and universities are also quite different. the military has its own modes of training and indoctrinating cadets into being working parts of the institution - nothing even comparable to the university context.

There are a lot of situations where relationships between superiors and subordinates even I would consider to be highly unethical - but there are many where the flirtatious play, if not outright sexual relationship, between different people can be, and should be, more open. Yes, there are possibilities for exploitation - but exploitation is possible in any and all relationships, regardless of where they transpire. Exploitation is wrong, open sex between consenting adults shouldn't be an issue, for anyone...