Territoriality....You belong to me now

[catalina_francisco]

I show off My subs and slaves because I am a proud Owner. If I lose them to another Dom/me it will not be because I have shown them off but because My Domination was not enough or was too much for them. I have no fear or concern to show off and display and even share on My whim.

This is so true Shadowsdream, and demonstrates how in many ways it comes down to trust and if you really have it. If they are going to stray it is likely you never had their trust and submission in the way you need or want and they would have moved on anyway. That is part of why F feels comfortable in sharing me and entrusting me with much of what is involved simply because he knows I am not looking for something I don't already have and that what happens is entirely his choice and as such is under his control in a situation where I become a toy in his game, not a player who is open to the suggestions and temptations of another.

Catalina

 

[TigerClaw]

This is so true Shadowsdream, and demonstrates how in many ways it comes down to trust and if you really have it. If they are going to stray it is likely you never had their trust and submission in the way you need or want and they would have moved on anyway. That is part of why F feels comfortable in sharing me and entrusting me with much of what is involved simply because he knows I am not looking for something I don't already have and that what happens is entirely his choice and as such is under his control in a situation where I become a toy in his game, not a player who is open to the suggestions and temptations of another.

Catalina

Hi Cat : *

I Love your response.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bumpity bump...

 

[greeneyed_Lady]

I'm taking this opportunity to say thank you Catalina for bringing up some of these older threads. This one I find particularly interesting.

Last year I had the good fortune of meeting man who eventually became my sub. From the moment we started talking I was consumed with the idea of making him mine. This was (is) a totally foreign concept to me as I have never felt the need to make anyone mine. I've never had any possessiveness or jealousy in any of my 'nilla type relationships. We had a long distance relationship and he had asked permission to attend a local fet event.. he felt awkward going without me. I spoke with a few of the ladies I knew that were attending this event and requested he present himself to each of the 4 of them with a marker in hand and submit to them for marking. I wanted him marked as mine. I wanted everyone there to know he belonged to me and that he wasn't available for anything. If I had been able to attend the event myself, I would have leashed him and paraded him around.

I get very territorial about my subbie boys. Oddly enough with the current one it's the ladies that bother me the most. I have no problems with him talking with, going out with, seeking other boys to spend time with. I've had some serious issues with him being in the presence of other women tho. Not that I don't trust his behaviour, because I do. I don't trust the other women. Grrr... MY BOY!

 

[Daddy2mylilgirl]

This is something I very much want to explore with my little girl. I just love the feeling of knowing she is mine and that I can do whatever I want to her.

I am very much a proud Owner and she is very much proud to be my property.

There is just something so animal like about marking your territory so anyone coming around knows it's yours. And knows to back off.

 

[Homburg]

I am enormously territorial, and I fight that urge quite often. I've mentioned it before, calling it the Gorilla Response. Some things don't ever ping that response, and I am starting to see a pattern, as well as starting to see a loosening of that response towards other things. It's complex, to be honest.

That said, I am perfectly happy to display what is mine. Fortunately, they enjoy being displayed. I wish I could show more, but RL considerations prevent pictures of MIS. Oh well.

 

[kittenartist]

I think I am possessive and territorial. I think those are two different things but that they have heavy overlap. And no, I do not think I can explain what each means to me separately so I will deal with it as one basic concept.

My bunny boy is mine. I can sit with him for hours and just say mine over and over while he responses "yours" and be content. That sounds like an exaggeration but it has happened more times than I can count. Anyways. It means a lot to me for him to be marked as mine if other people are going to see him, especially if I am not around. And I do not mean other bdsm people, just any other living being. I am extremely possessive of him which I have never felt for anyone else. I think that is a good thing. Heh, except with is accidentally interferes with important life things. Example: he used to wear a metal locking collar. One day he went to take an important test prior to joining the military -- it set off the metal detector and because he physically could not take it off they sent him home and he had to reschedule the test. So, second test day we take off the collar but we both agree he looks/feels naked. Solution? Some very heavy bite marks all over his neck. Yeah, the almost sent him home again *laughs* In some ways I wish they had sent him home, I miss him as being in the military keeps us apart for the time being. But I digress...

So, he is mine, I like people knowing he is mine. I am proud of him and I want everyone to envy me for having this wonderful boy. I am more than happy to share him visually so long as I have an appreciative and respectful audience. But sharing him physically...? Not yet. I can think of some situations where I would enjoy letting someone else play with my boy but I would need to be in complete control. In the end, it comes down to this: sharing is body is no big deal but only I get to touch his heart, mind, and soul.

 

[gingermango]

Slight (but only slight) aside: if you want to see human territoriality in action, you need look no further than the blatant hostility of some of those in the General Board who are now in here spamming threads out of some petty need for revenge or something due to the spillover of the "recent unpleasantness" involving Createashemale/PrincessGoddess/whatever-it's-calling-itself-today. Those folks are p.o.'d and are responding like, well, territorial animals, as if they own the (virtual) place their conversations are occurring.

 

[ataxia.girl]

i find being shared and having my owner control the situation of my being used and enjoyed by others greatly increases my feelings of being owned. To have others use me at my owner's discretion and not at mine reinforces for me that i am just a toy to be played with and have no power myself. I LOVE IT!

What has happened for me is the edgiest play is usually with my owner and so there is a contrast between what they do\want and what others do\want. i have also had the experience of certain things being artificially off limits to others and then had those limitations removed at my owner's discretion. In that way i was made to feel special when X was not allowed except by my owner and then he decided that X was allowed to everyone which reinforced for me that i do not make the decisions.

Sharing and displaying can be VERY powerful and for me reinforces that my owner really is naturally the most powerful being in my life, not the most powerful because he doesn't allow me play with anyone else but rather just because he IS different in the way that i need to make me feel owned.

 

[Lady_Midnight]

I am proud of my slut and enjoy having him post pics. Not sure i'd want anyone else touching though.

 

[MasDom]

Hello all. I'm relatively new to the forums and new to BDSM. Just wanted to know what some people's view of territoriality is when concerning a Sub/Dom relationship.

Myself, I find I'm a very territorial person, and I'm hoping to instill a sense of ownership in my Sub partner. The whole scene is fairly new to us both at the moment (moreso with myself), but even after a few sessions, I'm starting to come up with my own ideas and fantasies for us. For example, I want to start posting images of her tied and bound online. Parading her or even just showing her under my control to others seems to appeal to me quite a bit, though I'm not entirely sure why.

I think for me it's more a point of effectively saying: "Look at what I can do to her. She's mine and mine alone."

Are there others who feel the same way? Is there any particular need to "show-off" your sub?

I have that feeling often. It presents itself in the want to display myself and my pet publicly in a scene. Although my trust for her comes first and is absolute. No fear to my place at all. It gives me a feeling of fulfillment because it's like I've come this far, and I have something I'm proud of to call my own.

As far as territorial needs if anyone was foolish enough to come cross my boundaries there would be a need for response. My boundaries which are all based on love and trust have no place for callous people trying to obtain what isn't theirs.

 

[Fauna]

Thank you for bumping this thread.

I'm in the process of exploring these feelings myself now. When I've had slaves and subs in the past, I was single. Now I'm married to a wonderful man who is in the lifestyle himself and is a switch. He does not want me to be his Domme. But, he understands this need that I have.

Within the last month, I've found a new sub who my husband is comfortable with, (I think they actually share the same brain) and I am truly enjoying. Before, I was more possessive and territorial. Now, I don't know. My husband is my primary relationship. He is my lover, my best friend and my future.

I don't like the idea of my sub playing with other Dommes behind my back. I know he has a life and so do I, which I respect. I told him if he wants to be with someone else to be honest, but until then I would appreciate if I was his only Domme.

To add a further twist, I don't mind sharing him in a mutually agreed upon way, like group play. We are going to a public play party this weekend and I promised him that no one would touch him without us talking it over.

Does this make sense? I'm still hashing it over in my mind. Any suggestions or perceptions?