Terzanelle

[Lauren Hynde]

I'm thinking about writing a terzanelle envolving some kind of embaracing situation and kill two birds with a stone! I know I'm taking way too long to do this, but I'm not as prolific as some of you poets...

 

[Lauren Hynde]

And what a great work, Sera!

Both the terzanelle AND the villanelle are really good.

 

[Sera Shine]

Thank you for the nice comments. It was fun to try a new twist on the form.

 

[JUDO]

Bumpity-bump! Terzanelles seem best suited to describing one thing, rather than something that progresses, like a story. I think this is largely due to the way lines of imagery have to weave their way back into what is being said as the result of the form.

Cool form. It seems to be a matter of choosing the right and proper subject matter in order to be successful.

What say?

 

[Cordelia]

yay!

A new form for me to try!

I wrote a villanelle long before I really started reading the poetry forums. It seems to be a very well-received poem, so I think I may try the terzanelle. Somehow, it seems harder than the villanelle. But maybe that's just me.

My villanelle: heartstrands

I am off to try the terzanelle!

Eagerly,




Cordelia

 

[WickedEve]

Terzanelles!

Ocean's Daughter
Whore's of Poetry
Sue Ling

I have not written one in ages. I'd like to try another one. Hopefully, I will have improved.

 

[Cordelia]

Wow, Eve!

Ocean's Daughter is an incredibly well-written poem with a tender sentiment.

I am in bewildered awe.



Cordelia.

 

[Cordelia]

Bye the way...

Eve,

My Chinese name (and my middle name) is Sue-Lyn. It is pronounced similar to Sue-Ling, but my (non-Chinese) mom decided to anglicize it.

Just an odd coincidence. I am not even sure why I mentioned it. It's just odd to see it in a poem, I guess.



Cordelia

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Bye the way...

Eve,

My Chinese name (and my middle name) is Sue-Lyn. It is pronounced similar to Sue-Ling, but my (non-Chinese) mom decided to anglicize it.

Just an odd coincidence. I am not even sure why I mentioned it. It's just odd to see it in a poem, I guess.



Cordelia

I'm not sure where Sue Ling came from. I was considering writing a terzanelle and while taking a walk "Silence permeates the house of evening" came into my mind with Sue Ling following close behind.

 

[Cordelia]

Bump!

Okay, I finally wrote a terzanelle, but I am having an awful time with the rhythm. I think writing so many sonnets has me only able to think in iambic pentameter. I fought not to do this in pentameter.

Here's my attempt.

***************
Impatient Terzanelle

Slicing the hours before you phoned
into each measured, equal, bite-sized minute.
My trip to the moon has been postponed.

“Nipped in the bud…” was how I’d begin it,
if anticipation had such a name,
measuring each equal, bite-sized minute.

So, eyeing each fear I overcame,
I breathe in the memory of your scent,
and anticipation wears your name.

The air of expectancy is ambient,
even crimson recollections fade.
And I cling to the memory of your scent.

I even marked the cards I played
to give my heart the gambler’s edge,
but passing time makes crimson fade.

So, before I lose this privilege,
I slice the hours before you phoned
to give my heart that needed edge.
But my trip to the moon has been postponed.
***************

Any suggestions? Or should I start all over again?

Frustrated,



Cordelia