The Age Gap: A Good Idea?

[Etoile]

Here's what I've been finding:

http://alt.tcm.turner.com/MONTH_SPOTS/01/01/romance_intro.htm says "those brief, intense love affairs that spring up suddenly and evaporate just as quickly" and lists some old movies that fit the description.

http://www.totse.com/en/erotica/may_december/ is erotica with the theme of "A younger man, an older woman, and a bit of romance."

http://www.salon.com/sex/col/tenn/2003/04/09/sya_wed/index_np.html is a Salon article about it, with the sub-headline "In love, how big an age difference is too big?" (You have to watch an ad to get a free day pass to Salon.)

I have yet to find anything about why it would mean a relationship with a large age difference involved.

 

[lark sparrow]

It's a simple analogy based on one year and the seasons, regarding age and one's placement within it.

If I am at May, I am 5 months into the year and in Spring, if you are in December you are at the end of the calender and in winter.

May/December romance = large age difference.

 

[FungiUg]

I think the whole concept of "May & December" if far more universal than just D/s. Perhaps accentuated in D/s, but to be honest, I suspect not.

 

[Etoile]

Doh! That makes perfect sense, lark sparrow. Thanks!

 

[lark sparrow]

Doh! That makes perfect sense, lark sparrow. Thanks!

lol no worries, sometimes the obvious evades me too!

 

[s'lara]

Here's what I've been finding:

http://alt.tcm.turner.com/MONTH_SPOTS/01/01/romance_intro.htm says "those brief, intense love affairs that spring up suddenly and evaporate just as quickly" and lists some old movies that fit the description.

http://www.totse.com/en/erotica/may_december/ is erotica with the theme of "A younger man, an older woman, and a bit of romance."

http://www.salon.com/sex/col/tenn/2003/04/09/sya_wed/index_np.html is a Salon article about it, with the sub-headline "In love, how big an age difference is too big?" (You have to watch an ad to get a free day pass to Salon.)

I have yet to find anything about why it would mean a relationship with a large age difference involved.

Glad you found the answer (thanks larksparrow). Looking at sites specializing in the etymology of phrases, language and slang would have been a better route. The phrase isn't exactly a sexual term and is considered an expression for the most part.

lara

 

[s'lara]

I think the whole concept of "May & December" if far more universal than just D/s. Perhaps accentuated in D/s, but to be honest, I suspect not.

i don't think anyone's mentioned that May/December romances are more prevalent in D/s relationships than vanilla relationships. i'd say the averages in each type of relationship aren't too different from the other. Nothing special there ... just an addition of kink.

lara

 

[Etoile]

Glad you found the answer (thanks larksparrow). Looking at sites specializing in the etymology of phrases, language and slang would have been a better route. The phrase isn't exactly a sexual term and is considered an expression for the most part.

I searched Google, that's all. It happened to bring up those results - I went through about six pages. There were no etymology or even phrase-dictionary sites in those results.

 

[Etoile]

i don't think anyone's mentioned that May/December romances are more prevalent in D/s relationships than vanilla relationships. i'd say the averages in each type of relationship aren't too different from the other. Nothing special there ... just an addition of kink.

I'm confused. I thought that's what we WERE talking about - the fact that they're more common in D/s relationships than in vanilla ones. Or have I misunderstood you? I'm lost. (I'm also working on not enough sleep, so it could be all me.)

 

[s'lara]

i never said the age gap was more prevalent in D/s than in vanilla relationships and after reading your original post again, you seem to believe to be the case. i don't. As i said before, i don't believe there is really all that much difference in the May/Decembere averages in D/s and vanilla relationships. Also, age gaps haven't mattered to me. That's the short version of what i posted previously.

lara

 

[lark sparrow]

If you don't get some dominance/leadership out of a huge age gap as a younger partner, perhaps the age gap only exists in chronological years and not in experience, knowledge or understanding.

I've had 16 years difference, and she was definitely ahead of the game in some aspects.

For me, it is one of the appeals of an age difference, but I suppose if I really enjoyed someone who was 50 and acted entirely 30 I could go with it. But then the age gap would be a moot point.

 

[FungiUg]

Etoile, you're correct, we were talking about that. I think s'lara must have missed that bit of the discussion is all. (And she's agreeing with me... yay!)

 

[FungiUg]

If you don't get some dominance/leadership out of a huge age gap as a younger partner, perhaps the age gap only exists in chronological years and not in experience, knowledge or understanding.

Dunno. I can see people being attracted to experience. Someone who knows what they are doing.

 

[s'lara]

Etoile, you're correct, we were talking about that. I think s'lara must have missed that bit of the discussion is all. (And she's agreeing with me... yay!)

A miss and a gloss over as well ... i missed the first line in my skim. And it isn't the first time i've agreed with you Fungi ... it's just been a while since we've crossed by one another in the same thread.

lara

 

[MastrJ]

I have a tendency to find myself with women younger than myself. I get some guff about it from my friends, but I honestly don't meet many women that are close to my own age. The last time I had a gf who was close to my age was about ten years ago as I was finishing up college. I'm currently with a submissive who is ten years my junior. I was a little nervous about the age difference at first, but it doesn't seem to be much of an issue. Sure, we have different childhood cultural references and I've been involved in my main hobby for just as long as she's been alive. I wouldn't want to have missed this chance just because I was worried about the age gap. She's re-awakened my sense of childhood playfulness and I find myself smiling and joking a lot more when I'm with her. I don't know enough about the BDSM community to say that age gaps like I have are more common than vanilla couples, but I have run into a good number of them.

 

[s'lara]

Actually, i think i was correct in the first instance.

I was involved in a discussion elsewhere about large age gaps being more common in BDSM relationships than in vanilla ones. I put forth the idea that a large age gap might actually be a good idea, given the nature of our play. Knowledge and experience are helpful in safe play, and if someone has more of both than their partner, they are in a position to teach (even if the sub is the more experienced one). I know we've had some discussion on age gaps before, but can I spark any more on the idea that they are a good thing in BDSM relationships?

Etoile wanted to generate discussion on whether an age gap was a good thing in a BDSM relationships. Her first sentence was in regard to a discussion she had elsewhere about age gaps being more prevalent in BDSM relationships, but she went on to ask whether age gaps were a good idea in BDSM relationships. Unless i am reading it wrong due to my own lack of sleep, i think the question was about whether age difference was a plus.

i thought i'd mis-read it ... glad to see i haven't.

lara

 

[lark sparrow]

Dunno. I can see people being attracted to experience. Someone who knows what they are doing.

Uhm, duh or doh! again... we are agreeing. There is something to be said about experience and that is often had with age... despite what those younger or less experienced may feel about their experience/age level.

 

[SwtSouthrnSub]

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[Etoile]

Age ain't nuthin' but a number...unless only one of those numbers is less than 18.