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The Confessional

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Firmhanded_Daddy said:
ICT:

Next week is important, perhaps one of the most important in my recent history. I am hopeful of a positive change, a lasting one at that. The first time in a long time I have had much hope.
Click to expand...

ICT:

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

hugs
 
ICT~

That I'm seriously..trying to fight my depression. It's winning.

I dropped a class since my Dad said I could and it would be okay, and he said it's fine, because of missed assignments because I had no motivation and I felt like a failure from the start.

The only time my depression goes away is when I'm performing.

I feel like I should be over this by now...but I'm not...and that makes me feel worst.

I hate disappointing people. I feel like everything I touch starts crumbling.

I can't stand failing...especially now.

I'm jealous of the girls that have their moms and/or parents in the stands at the games while I'm sitting there with nobody.
 
choklatekoneko said:
ICT~

That I'm seriously..trying to fight my depression. It's winning.

I dropped a class since my Dad said I could and it would be okay, and he said it's fine, because of missed assignments because I had no motivation and I felt like a failure from the start.

The only time my depression goes away is when I'm performing.

I feel like I should be over this by now...but I'm not...and that makes me feel worst.

I hate disappointing people. I feel like everything I touch starts crumbling.

I can't stand failing...especially now.

I'm jealous of the girls that have their moms and/or parents in the stands at the games while I'm sitting there with nobody.
Click to expand...

You know where to find me.

-hugs-
 
choklatekoneko said:
ICT~

That I'm seriously..trying to fight my depression. It's winning.

I dropped a class since my Dad said I could and it would be okay, and he said it's fine, because of missed assignments because I had no motivation and I felt like a failure from the start.

The only time my depression goes away is when I'm performing.

I feel like I should be over this by now...but I'm not...and that makes me feel worst.

I hate disappointing people. I feel like everything I touch starts crumbling.

I can't stand failing...especially now.

I'm jealous of the girls that have their moms and/or parents in the stands at the games while I'm sitting there with nobody.
Click to expand...

ICT~

all of the above breaks my heart.

If you need me, find me.
 
choklatekoneko said:
ICT~

That I'm seriously..trying to fight my depression. It's winning.

I dropped a class since my Dad said I could and it would be okay, and he said it's fine, because of missed assignments because I had no motivation and I felt like a failure from the start.

The only time my depression goes away is when I'm performing.

I feel like I should be over this by now...but I'm not...and that makes me feel worst.

I hate disappointing people. I feel like everything I touch starts crumbling.

I can't stand failing...especially now.

I'm jealous of the girls that have their moms and/or parents in the stands at the games while I'm sitting there with nobody.
Click to expand...


You do not know me at all but my thought are with you ... :rose:

I too was that girl with no one the stands.

performing gives one a sense of belonging, being a part of a greater whole.
 
Last edited:
Nina327 said:
You know where to find me.

-hugs-
Click to expand...

:heart:

Thank you, Nina.

Luna_Wolf72 said:
ICT~

all of the above breaks my heart.

If you need me, find me.
Click to expand...

:rose::heart:

I definitely will.

yeishia said:
You do not know me at all but my thought are with you ... :rose:

I was that girl with no one the stands.

performing gives one a sense of belonging, being a part of a greater whole.
Click to expand...

:rose:

It does. If I'm writing or dancing, or acting...or even singing or playing my sax...the pain goes away. I feel okay for that while...and I a little bit afterwards.
 
choklatekoneko said:
ICT~

That I'm seriously..trying to fight my depression. It's winning.

I dropped a class since my Dad said I could and it would be okay, and he said it's fine, because of missed assignments because I had no motivation and I felt like a failure from the start.

The only time my depression goes away is when I'm performing.

I feel like I should be over this by now...but I'm not...and that makes me feel worst.

I hate disappointing people. I feel like everything I touch starts crumbling.

I can't stand failing...especially now.

I'm jealous of the girls that have their moms and/or parents in the stands at the games while I'm sitting there with nobody.
Click to expand...

*squeezes da kitty and scritches behind her ears*

Hang in there, Sweetie. You have so much going for you. You're so talented. You can dance. You can play an instrument. I wish I could.
 
choklatekoneko said:
ICT~
That I'm seriously..trying to fight my depression. It's winning.
I dropped a class since my Dad said I could and it would be okay, and he said it's fine, because of missed assignments because I had no motivation and I felt like a failure from the start.
The only time my depression goes away is when I'm performing.
I feel like I should be over this by now...but I'm not...and that makes me feel worst.
I hate disappointing people. I feel like everything I touch starts crumbling.
I can't stand failing...especially now.
I'm jealous of the girls that have their moms and/or parents in the stands at the games while I'm sitting there with nobody.
Click to expand...

It seems there are many here that love and adore you and while I do, I also know that it's still hard to translate that into the real world.

So, get help.
Find a therapist in your area, I'd even be willing to help you find one that is low cost if you need too. You need to talk to someone about what is happening in your head and you need to think about meds too.

Depression isn't something that you fuck with, and powering through will not make it all better. Seeking help does not make you a failure. I would know. I suffer from some pretty intense anxieties, and if it wasn't for Xanax, there are days that I wouldn't be able to function.

So how can we help you to find a therapist?
 
Miss_Vivi said:
It seems there are many here that love and adore you and while I do, I also know that it's still hard to translate that into the real world.

So, get help.
Find a therapist in your area, I'd even be willing to help you find one that is low cost if you need too. You need to talk to someone about what is happening in your head and you need to think about meds too.

Depression isn't something that you fuck with, and powering through will not make it all better. Seeking help does not make you a failure. I would know. I suffer from some pretty intense anxieties, and if it wasn't for Xanax, there are days that I wouldn't be able to function.

So how can we help you to find a therapist?
Click to expand...
You need to be given a couple hundred high fives.
 
I agree with the others, Neko. Especially Miss ViVi. I've fought depression off and on just about my whole life. I'm not currently seeing a therapist but I have gone back on my meds for about two months now. It takes a long time to come out of it sometimes. Keep it always in mind that no matter how bad you feel it will change with time. There will be good days ahead, you just have too get through the bad ones. It's okay to ask for help.
 
ICT:

I don't know when, I don't know how, and I don't know why, but things are changing. Everything went from being horrible and bad, to things being good, and I can't stop panicking and looking around, expecting the mat to be pulled out from beneath my feet. It seems as if every time I find myself truly happy, (Or as close to that as I can get.) something or somebody just has to come around and take that happiness from me. I'm starting to think it's my own fault really. I let people get to me so easily, and I bottle everything up for too long, and I push people away way too easily, not letting them inside.

I'm not depressed, or even sad, or angry. I'm kind of emotionless on most days, and then when something good finally happens in my life, I get this jolt of happiness before returning to mellow. It's as if my body just wants to be here, with no feeling, until good things come my way. But that's obviously not how life works...

I don't mean to rant, honestly, I just needed to get some stuff out, and this seems to be the best place to talk, it's always been my safe place.

So I don't know what things will become of, or how my life will end up working itself out, but I guess I'm in for one hell of a ride.
 
smiley8022 said:
ICT:

I don't know when, I don't know how, and I don't know why, but things are changing. Everything went from being horrible and bad, to things being good, and I can't stop panicking and looking around, expecting the mat to be pulled out from beneath my feet. It seems as if every time I find myself truly happy, (Or as close to that as I can get.) something or somebody just has to come around and take that happiness from me. I'm starting to think it's my own fault really. I let people get to me so easily, and I bottle everything up for too long, and I push people away way too easily, not letting them inside.

I'm not depressed, or even sad, or angry. I'm kind of emotionless on most days, and then when something good finally happens in my life, I get this jolt of happiness before returning to mellow. It's as if my body just wants to be here, with no feeling, until good things come my way. But that's obviously not how life works...

I don't mean to rant, honestly, I just needed to get some stuff out, and this seems to be the best place to talk, it's always been my safe place.

So I don't know what things will become of, or how my life will end up working itself out, but I guess I'm in for one hell of a ride.
Click to expand...

Dear Sunshine, we will always have up and down, we will always have good times and bad, happiness given and taken, such is life.

When it comes down to it when life gives you lemons and by lemon, I mean throws them straight at you, you throw them back with a potato launcher (or lemon launchers I should say) and you say "Is that all you got?" Don't let anything keep you down and you where to turn if you need to talk.
 
My confession:

I have perfected the art, craft, and superpowers of procrastination and awesomeness which has lead to being Completely naked for 4 whole days.

1. The mailman may or may not be happy i own bath robes.
2. My closet is huge when it's empty.
 
Nina327 said:
My confession:

I have perfected the art, craft, and superpowers of procrastination and awesomeness which has lead to being Completely naked for 4 whole days.

1. The mailman may or may not be happy i own bath robes.
2. My closet is huge when it's empty.
Click to expand...

I confess that this is pure awesome. we should procrastinate naked together.

or maybe I meant masturbate.

... or maybe both.
 
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