The "Fuck you cancer!" thread

[gypsy*seer]

My heart is sending positivity, love and healing your way - as always, Deeege.

 

[Niam1985]

Sending you only the best positive thoughts, DGE. My heart goes out to you and your family.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I could use a strong positive thought for my mom and dad, if you have one on the floor of the car or an old one that you're not using.

You've got it, both for your parents and for you.

 

[BiBunny]

Many hugs for you, DGE, and good vibes for you and your parents both. And for anyone else out there in Lit-land who needs them.

 

[midwestyankee]

A random vibe or a thought for them would be swell.

You've got it. Dealing with the frailty of the people who gave us life is a difficult burden. They were once the strength that held up our world, and now the lights are slowly twinkling to dark.

 

[LallyH]

Positive thoughts for you, your dad and all your family

 

[scotluvsoral]

I could use a strong positive thought for my mom and dad, if you have one on the floor of the car or an old one that you're not using.

Things are going bad quickly, in such cruelly symbolic ways, and its crushing my dad.

And her death nearing, and his devastation are crushing me. The sadness is a sopping towel, and yet most of the time I feel nothing. Like I'm caressing someone through thick gloves.

A random vibe or a thought for them would be swell.

Sending thoughts and prayers your way. Difficult watching the competent and gifted people who raised us, age and become diminished. I knew it would happen to my folks and yet, it still surprised me somehow and made me feel powerless to stop that process. It helped to think of how long I had them in my life and how so many are not so lucky!. Hang in there!

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

So many, so much and whathaveyou to all you hold dear, DGE.

For everyone here...

FYC!!!!!

 

[JackVettriano]

No really fuck you cancer.

You cause so.much pain but also inspiration and that's what we live for.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Thank you so much, gypsy, Niam, Iris, BB, Lally and Curious.

You've got it. Dealing with the frailty of the people who gave us life is a difficult burden. They were once the strength that held up our world, and now the lights are slowly twinkling to dark.

My god, you put that beautifully. Thank you.

Sending thoughts and prayers your way. Difficult watching the competent and gifted people who raised us, age and become diminished. I knew it would happen to my folks and yet, it still surprised me somehow and made me feel powerless to stop that process. It helped to think of how long I had them in my life and how so many are not so lucky!. Hang in there!

It's just one of those things you have to experience to get, isn't it? Like a switch has been flipped. It reminds me a little of the feeling I had watching "Gravity" in a 3-D theatre. Untethered.

Yet your friends here caress you gloves off...with real affection I read for you. I don't know you so well yet, but I hope you will still accept good thoughts from me for both you and your family.

Thank you for your thoughts and for reminding me.

Does anyone else here grieve by retreating from all human contact?

 

[gypsy*seer]

Does anyone else here grieve by retreating from all human contact?

Yes. Absolutely.

Especially when I'm not sure at all how I'm going to handle what's on my plate at the present moment.

And when I don't know how to deal with the FEAR that's increasingly evident in my mother, who like me, generally shows no fear.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Does anyone else here grieve by retreating from all human contact?

Retreating isn't quite it, but I do shut people out and keep a lot of it to my self.
I have to make a conscious effort to let someone in.

 

[LallyH]

Does anyone else here grieve by retreating from all human contact?

I did, on both occasions when my parents died. I needed to give myself time to 'deal with' the shock of it, of accepting the fact that they had actually gone for good. I just couldn't face the effort of interacting with other people for a while, even though I knew they meant well and wanted to help. I was distant and detached from those around me and, when it was practical, I took a physical time out to be on my own.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Keroin]

DGE, there's nothing I can do but send you my wishes of strength and peace. You're such a light in the world. Do whatever you need to do to care for yourself but know that a whole community of people are out here for you. All the hugs are coming to you, my friend.

 

[gamegamale]

I've been though the treatments and surgeries twice and I consider myself lucky...compared to others. What pains me the most is knowing the stress it has caused my loved ones. They are my inspiration.

FYC.

 

[scotluvsoral]

I've been though the treatments and surgeries twice and I consider myself lucky...compared to others. What pains me the most is knowing the stress it has caused my loved ones. They are my inspiration.

FYC.

I understand that pain and the inspiration. My 4 girls and my wife never let me knew how terrified they were...just shared my positive feelings about successful surgery...until after the doctor shared they were certain they got all of the cancer. Then the emotions overcame them and they shared how they had shielded me from the fears. They were my rock!!!! FYC!!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Thanks for the comments. In other words, good grief.

Your words make me feel better. Curious had a grieving thread up a few years ago; maybe it's time for a bump. One thing that helped me was getting off Facebook. Every time I get off Facebook I realize how much it drains, rather than fills me. I'm sure most people are different (after all, despite a lack of teens, FB still has a bazillion users).

DGE, there's nothing I can do but send you my wishes of strength and peace. You're such a light in the world. Do whatever you need to do to care for yourself but know that a whole community of people are out here for you. All the hugs are coming to you, my friend.

You are among my favorite kinky Canadian cupcake-loving SF writers.

I've been though the treatments and surgeries twice and I consider myself lucky...compared to others. What pains me the most is knowing the stress it has caused my loved ones. They are my inspiration.

FYC.

You are just a good, good person. FYC.

I understand that pain and the inspiration. My 4 girls and my wife never let me knew how terrified they were...just shared my positive feelings about successful surgery...until after the doctor shared they were certain they got all of the cancer. Then the emotions overcame them and they shared how they had shielded me from the fears. They were my rock!!!! FYC!!

This is inspiring. God, the emotions can be more complicated than the disease, can't they?

 

[redslady]

I could use a strong positive thought for my mom and dad, if you have one on the floor of the car or an old one that you're not using.

Things are going bad quickly, in such cruelly symbolic ways, and its crushing my dad.

And her death nearing, and his devastation are crushing me. The sadness is a sopping towel, and yet most of the time I feel nothing. Like I'm caressing someone through thick gloves.

A random vibe or a thought for them would be swell.

DGE, There really aren't words to help. Everyone grieves in their own fashion, there is no "true" way to grieve. Sometimes being in a bubble is the only way we can carry on. I've still got that shoulder should you need it, two of them in fact.

I posted this in FYC a while back and you were one of the loved ones I was thinking of at the time.

Sometimes we get tunnel vision; we forget the effect this cell fucker has on those who love us. Our mates, our family, our friends, they suffer for us and themselves. As we concentrate on the next step, the next treatment, the horrific side effects, we forget that they are there with us. We forget how powerless they feel, how they watch us change before their eyes. They see us become weaker, thinner; they watch us drift off in the middle of a conversation because we are so tired. They deal with the changes in us, the loss of hair, the loss of appetite, the vomiting, the mood swings, and too many others to mention; yet they act as if it’s no big deal.

But I’ve been on their side of this battle, so I know it is a big deal.

The emotions our loved ones feel can be as devastating as the physical changes we go through. The helplessness, the frustration, the fear, and for some the steeling themselves for the inevitable. For when the battle is fought we don’t always win.

For those of you who love us, thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for helping us keep a sense of normal. Thank you for standing beside us and helping us stand when we can’t.

It would be so much harder without you with us.

 

[scotluvsoral]

DGE, There really aren't words to help. Everyone grieves in their own fashion, there is no "true" way to grieve. Sometimes being in a bubble is the only way we can carry on. I've still got that shoulder should you need it, two of them in fact.

I posted this in FYC a while back and you were one of the loved ones I was thinking of at the time.

Sometimes we get tunnel vision; we forget the effect this cell fucker has on those who love us. Our mates, our family, our friends, they suffer for us and themselves. As we concentrate on the next step, the next treatment, the horrific side effects, we forget that they are there with us. We forget how powerless they feel, how they watch us change before their eyes. They see us become weaker, thinner; they watch us drift off in the middle of a conversation because we are so tired. They deal with the changes in us, the loss of hair, the loss of appetite, the vomiting, the mood swings, and too many others to mention; yet they act as if it’s no big deal.

But I’ve been on their side of this battle, so I know it is a big deal.

The emotions our loved ones feel can be as devastating as the physical changes we go through. The helplessness, the frustration, the fear, and for some the steeling themselves for the inevitable. For when the battle is fought we don’t always win.

For those of you who love us, thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for helping us keep a sense of normal. Thank you for standing beside us and helping us stand when we can’t.

It would be so much harder without you with us.

Wonderfully expressed! Thank you!!! Fuck You Cancer!!!

 

[gamegamale]

So elegantly stated. If only I could fit it on a t-shirt. FYC.

DGE, There really aren't words to help. Everyone grieves in their own fashion, there is no "true" way to grieve. Sometimes being in a bubble is the only way we can carry on. I've still got that shoulder should you need it, two of them in fact.

I posted this in FYC a while back and you were one of the loved ones I was thinking of at the time.

Sometimes we get tunnel vision; we forget the effect this cell fucker has on those who love us. Our mates, our family, our friends, they suffer for us and themselves. As we concentrate on the next step, the next treatment, the horrific side effects, we forget that they are there with us. We forget how powerless they feel, how they watch us change before their eyes. They see us become weaker, thinner; they watch us drift off in the middle of a conversation because we are so tired. They deal with the changes in us, the loss of hair, the loss of appetite, the vomiting, the mood swings, and too many others to mention; yet they act as if it’s no big deal.

But I’ve been on their side of this battle, so I know it is a big deal.

The emotions our loved ones feel can be as devastating as the physical changes we go through. The helplessness, the frustration, the fear, and for some the steeling themselves for the inevitable. For when the battle is fought we don’t always win.

For those of you who love us, thank you. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for helping us keep a sense of normal. Thank you for standing beside us and helping us stand when we can’t.

It would be so much harder without you with us.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

redslady.

Thank you for putting that down in pixels.

FYC.

 

[Endless_Night]

< Does anyone else here grieve by retreating from all human contact? >

Absolutely. Grief can be so very overstimulating, physically and mentally. Touch can become overwhelming and unpleasant. Flinching from unexpected contact is my norm, though I can steel myself to accept touch if there’s advance warning. Awkward, as it’s a time people want to express their support with hugs.

Verbal contact or interaction is like having someone poking their fingers into my brain. Pretty darn agonizing, and at times completely unendurable. I need to be alone with my pain, at least until I can beat it down to a place of functional submission.

The need to be alone does pass though, time dependent, and relative to the level of grief, but it does pass. Sending good vibes to you and your family, DGE.

 

[GoAztecs]

Had my last chemo today. Hopefully I am at the end, depending on the PET scan. Unfortunately one of the medicines has now messed up my lungs, so I have to go through extensive testing and scans. Never ending process