The future of D\s

[Killishandra]

Well it sure sounds boring
*ducks reprisal from the sub girls*

Actually, I agree with you, if you're talking about sex with a submissive. I don't understand the lure of it. I'm drawn to sexual partners who are active and "take-charge." Of course, C is submissive in bed, and I certainly enjoy her (I even enjoy getting dominant with her) but our sexual interactions have more of a fluffy, girly, foreplay ambiance to them. When it comes down to penetration it is much more in my nature to "be fucked" than to "fuck."

 

[Marquis]

Notice you equate these things.

While I may like my sub guys fey hairless and girly, I could have a pick of many more who are quite the opposite if I were more inclined that way.

I knew this was going to be a problem.

I didn't mean to equate those things, merely mention them together.

I believe they are correlated however, in that relationship power roles are going to be renegotiated as definitions of masculinity change. My view of the change?

Men are not expected to be as dominant or as masculine as they used to be. Nor are women expected to be as submissive or as feminine.

Basically we keep our kids infants, we infantilize them in the interests of safety, we live in suburbs and ferry them from activity to activity and they don't take the risks of walking around the world, taking public transport, existing in a public space.

Do you think this is an issue of the times?

I certainly can't say my life was anything like that.

"Girl power" is kind of a hollow media stance, it doesn't really actually *empower* a lot of girls very much at all, it's all pink and confusing.

"Girl power" is the best oxymoron since "seperate but equal". Plus it seems to have created a legion of cryptosubs, as the One would call them.

 

[Marquis]

When it comes down to penetration it is much more in my nature to "be fucked" than to "fuck."

Hey, it's much more in my nature to "fuck".

We should get together sometimes and...

 

[ghosst_K&H]

aaah, Netz just reminded me that I meant to respond to ghosst's post.

What you've been describing ghosst, I have seen absolutely none of, things are still competitive as ever where I live, our school just finished hosting an armwrestling competition, and we do stuff like that all the time. Perhaps it's an American idea, but I've never seen any of it where I live.

You're a Canuk, therefore you're not seeing whats going on in US public schools. Teachers can't control their classes, nor can they punish bad behavior, in fear of a lawsuit.

Our cultrue has become one of "blame it on the system, or society", and "it's not your fault". It's a rare thing these days to see parents taking responsibility for their children's actions.

 

[Aeroil]

You're a Canuk, therefore you're not seeing whats going on in US public schools. Teachers can't control their classes, nor can they punish bad behavior, in fear of a lawsuit.

Our cultrue has become one of "blame it on the system, or society", and "it's not your fault". It's a rare thing these days to see parents taking responsibility for their children's actions.

Silly yanks
(It's Canuck, btw)

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The female subs I've been involved with have all been strong, capable, and accomplished women in their professional lives. That's probably because I'm only into D/s in the bedroom; outside I want an equal and a companion, and so I stay away from women who are socially submissive. They just don't interest me much. Still, I don't think that social power or status necessarily reflects one's D/s orientation.

BDSM always seemed to me to be a kind of hard-wired sexual pattern in the brain. The male as dominant and aggressive and the female as submissive and passive seems to be a kind of archetype that BDSM plays to and satisfies. I don't think one's work- or life-status affects this archetype. In other words, I think it's wrong to associate status or social power with sexual dominance or submission, or vice versa.

At the same time, I think BDSM provides a place with clear-cut roles in an world that's very ambiguous and confusing for a lot of people. The roles of Dom or sub can be very comforting.

 

[Netzach]

Do you think this is an issue of the times?

I certainly can't say my life was anything like that.

I do think it's an issue of the times and getting worse, as a general social trend. It may or may not apply to you or me (I was raised in an infantilizing way, but it was neurotic and crazy rather than suburban and sheltered) but if you look at trends and at the inordinate paranoia about *safety* (although the world is creepy) I think we can pinpoint some trends.

"Girl power" is the best oxymoron since "seperate but equal". Plus it seems to have created a legion of cryptosubs, as the One would call them.

Agreed. The vast majority of my vanilla gf's are looking for someone, male or female, with devilishly asshocular tendencies. Mystifies me.

 

[Netzach]

At the same time, I think BDSM provides a place with clear-cut roles in an world that's very ambiguous and confusing for a lot of people. The roles of Dom or sub can be very comforting.

This is niiiice. I think a lot of people are dealing with a vacuum of parental authority period. I think we do address these unresolved relationships with "authority" whether we D or s.

 

[chris9]

I believe in our future there will be less dominant men in the traditional way (the man goes to work, makes the money, tells his wife how to do her chores and raise the kids), but I do believe that the number of people who realize their dominance/submission in a BDSM-sort of way will even increase, as the Internet shows them that there is a lifestyle for them, also making it easier to find a partner who wants the same.
It might become more accepted for men to become subs and for women less, because being raised by a mom who is all for emancipation, it's harder to throw away all these principles she raised you to (you are equal, can (or even must) do the same...) I know that in my childhood I was never referred to "Wait until Dad gets home", my mom dealt with us right away. And I know she is trying to make me do things "modern", like keep my name and have my children have my last name when I marry.
On the other hand it is a big chance for me, too. I wouldn't want to be a housewife after studying for so many years, so it helps for my 'plans' that my bf is fine with not working while kids to come may be small, if this works out better for both our jobs.
Might be a bit confused what I just said, it's still early and I haven't had any coffee so far... Will go to fix me some.

 

[FurryFury]

Good questions Marquis!

I believe the more leisure time and power people feel they have, the more they will delve into D/s and then pull in others to play with. It seems more and more images are coming into mainstream media, making it more acceptable for some. It seems to be a growth thing to me. Yes there will be a segment that feels that waters down what they consider the "real" D/s. There always it that segment in any changing culture. One of the few things we can count on in life is change.

Fury

The female subs I've been involved with have all been strong, capable, and accomplished women in their professional lives. That's probably because I'm only into D/s in the bedroom; outside I want an equal and a companion, and so I stay away from women who are socially submissive. They just don't interest me much. Still, I don't think that social power or status necessarily reflects one's D/s orientation.

BDSM always seemed to me to be a kind of hard-wired sexual pattern in the brain. The male as dominant and aggressive and the female as submissive and passive seems to be a kind of archetype that BDSM plays to and satisfies. I don't think one's work- or life-status affects this archetype. In other words, I think it's wrong to associate status or social power with sexual dominance or submission, or vice versa.

At the same time, I think BDSM provides a place with clear-cut roles in an world that's very ambiguous and confusing for a lot of people. The roles of Dom or sub can be very comforting.

I think you are right about the above too dr_Mabeuse! I agree with you!

Fury