The Limits We Thought We Had...Forever?!!

[rida]

limits with a limited shelf life ...

like most have already said ... the first time I made the check list ... almost everything was between a hard limit and a soft limit, beside a couple of things that I had been enjoying since my vanilla days

the biggest was pain, and anything related to that. Now I still do not like pain in general, but I find myself asking for spanking (even if it still makes me mad), and I literally crave nipple torture ...(love the clothspins ... mmmmmm)

as many before me have eloquently stated, it is all a question of trust and willingness to explore the reason behind the limits, to get to a deeper understanding of your own mind/body/soul

and this is what has got me hooked ... the potential for learning your true-self in this discovery journey

 

[Homburg]

My soft limits have turned out to be a joke, and some of my hard limits have turned into soft limits, or just something we do on special occassions.

 

[FungiUg]

Not so much soft limits as squishy?

 

[Homburg]

Squishy is not a bad word. Squishy limits. Might work.

What I really need to do is review my limit list a bit. I am a work in progress, after all.

 

[FungiUg]

I did that with my last submissive. She and I went through our lists on bondage.com and looked at what had changed, and how many things on the "hard limit" list (for both of us) weren't any more. So yeah... squishy limits.

 

[myinnerslut]

things that i thought were limits that are no longer

naked pictures.. that limit went out the window two valentines days ago
breathplay
whips or floggers (hahaha)
semi-permanant marks (i have a piercing representing his mark in my ear)
preforming on camera

so many more... its been almost two years of D/s and my limits are almost luaghable. also, we started off maby 60/40 and now id say we ar 75-85/25-15

 

[FurryFury]

Once upon a time I would have said that if my husband fucked someone else that would be IT. Now I can't say that. I can see me being theoretically able to deal with him seeking something from another that I can't give. I do want him to be happy, or as fully happy as can be arranged. I am not saying it would be water off a ducks back mind you but I think I can understand that kind of thing now and deal with it.

 

[Homburg]

Okay, that's another one out the window, or will be.

I got to play with a wide variety of toys last night (play party at a very well stocked dungeon). One of the things I played with was a Coyote Whip (same as the one Netzach linked to in the thread mentioned above). I want one. Bad. Fun, fun, fun. I didn' tuse it on anyone, as I did want to try it live the first time I picked it up, but they had a leather harness hanging in the corner and I got some remarkable accuracy and pop with that little snaketail whip.

Gonna get one, practice a bit, and toss that limit out too.

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bump just incase someone has anything they wish to add.

Catalina

 

[DeservingBitch]

Bump just incase someone has anything they wish to add.

Catalina

Haha. I came in here after seeing your name as the last poster, at once curious and a bit scared of reading what you'd have to say!

 

[YourCaptor]

I think limits are sort of like handrails leading out of the plain sex arena.

When your walking blind you better have something to guide you.

And then of course theirs that super sexy point when a sub can walk blind with a smile and arms stretch out into the sky, the only safety line needed its trust.

And then there are those who suffer the tragedy of having their line broken.

 

[SubKekiLee]

When Sir and I are starting this journey , I had several limits I said I wouldnt do, one was swallowing and the other was anal sex, over the course of our journey I have wanted to be the best sub possible to him.... Which meant in my mind no boundries, I wanted him to own all of me... I wanted to be that girl for him. He always told me I held the key to this journey ...
While we are still in the beginings of walking in this journey I have overcome both of those and let me just tell you, he has me soooo interested in both of those.... Awhile back I decided to swallow for him cause I wanted to prove I could do it... Then we started on this journey of anal sex.. I had heard it hurt from some people and I had heard that it felt great..so it was a step I had to overcome in my mind...
Well I took that step last night, He didnt know I was going to tell him to take it... it was late he should have been sleeping.... I told him I wanted him to be the one to take it and to expand my horizons... when all was said and done all I can say is OMG!!!! it was amazing and I loved it.. and I had two mind blowing orgasms. He says he knew when I bent over I was going to tell him but Ill let him belive that.. =0) that might get me into trouble but ahh heck he said I had free reign this am when he left for work... I enjoyed it immensely as I am sure he did as well.. it was a peice of me I could give him that he now completely owns... mmmmm
Now in my mind he owns me completely and I wouldnt have it any other way.....

To my Sir:
You are truly an amazing man who inspires me to be on my knees at your side... and I truly care about you.... your pet....

 

[VelvetDarkness]

My limits have altered so much over the past year. 24/7TPE was one of them and yet now I'm an owned slave.

Hard limits used to include breathplay, consensual non-consent (rapeplay), face slapping, deep throating, facials... oh, all sorts of silly, trifling little things.

No limits really is as simple, at least to me, as the fact that I've given the CHOICE of what happens and what is done, to her. If she decides to take me somewhere that may very well be mentally and/or physically uncomfortable, humiliating, distasteful and unwanted...I'm ok with that and will find a way to deal with that and take it for her rather than worry about how hard its going to be and how traumatic I think it is. Keeping my focus on my submission and owned status enables me to go places and take things I never could do otherwise. So I may very well have limits, but one would have to ask her, because they are not my choice to be making and other than restrictions and rules.

This is also very true for me. I no longer set my limits but that doesn't mean that I don't trust him to respect the few things that squick me out or have the potential to cause psychological trauma. Dominants work with what they've got. It's not in his interest to cause me (significant or permanent) physical or psychological damage. He would just shoot himself in the foot and rob himself of my service.

Master and I,as a couple, have certain things that we either currently have no interest in, actively dislike, or know unequivocally that we would never want to do. These things include pissplay, scat, foot worship, total sensory deprivation, complicated rope bondage and other things.

Master has limits such as needleplay, knifeplay, cutting, branding, impactplay past the point where the skin breaks, fireplay and sharing me with other men. These are things he has no interest in doing and so they have become limits for me by extension as a result.

Stuff like actual rape, kids, animals and dead people really should go without saying as no decent human of any description should find these things remotely arousing IMO.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Haha. I came in here after seeing your name as the last poster, at once curious and a bit scared of reading what you'd have to say!

LOL, you thought I would have spilled the beans and revealed my deepest darkest dirtiest secrets....ROFLMAO, not bloody likely!!

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I told him I wanted him to be the one to take it and to expand my horizons... when all was said and done all I can say is OMG!!!! it was amazing and I loved it.. and I had two mind blowing orgasms.

I am firstly rapt you enjoyed it so much, and secondly that you posted the positive experience here to dispel some of the negativeness and fear from all the posts warning about the pain and the weeks of stretching and preparation needed to have the remotest opportunity of a pleasant experience. IMO it is one of the most pleasurable acts on earth and I am 99% more likely to orgasm just through anal sex alone than I ever would through regular vaginal sex without any other stimulation. I always say my G spot is obviously in my butt instead of the usual place, and chances are I am right given my body continually does strange things and has things in places they are not usually found in others.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think limits are sort of like handrails leading out of the plain sex arena.

When your walking blind you better have something to guide you.

And then of course theirs that super sexy point when a sub can walk blind with a smile and arms stretch out into the sky, the only safety line needed its trust.

And then there are those who suffer the tragedy of having their line broken.

Good analogy...hopefully more of those who have had that line broken find a way to mend it than those who are forever crippled and scarred by it.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Being in a no limits TPE for so long one would think there was no room to break new ground, but then what many do not recognise is that the limits which are set in such a relationship are done so by the PYL. For us that meant some things he set aside as he feared or felt I wouldn't like/accept/deal with them well, and some he set aside because they breached his own personal limits. The happy place I find myself in since my return from Oz is we have had a major shift from that position to one which takes us into deeper and darker waters.

I think despite my illness, and our missing each other, the break was timely and good for both of us as it meant we had a lot of time to think independently and without the usual pace of our relationship and life. Good thing was that though neither of us was aware of the others thoughts, or that indeed there was any such thinking going on, we seem to have arrived at the same place with the same hopes and desires for the future.

So far it has gone well with a little interruption with him being sick, and a couple of things which happened and he felt were inappropriate and needed to be guarded against at least for now, but overall it has released both of us to be even more open about those desires/thoughts we had deep down which we both kept mostly quiet about believing the other might think it were too over the top, too risky, too nasty. Well yes, some of them are hugely risky, all in a variety of ways, but I hope that being shared desires we will find a way to traverse them without too much difficulty. Part of that will be reliant on open communication without fear, and being aware that at ties one of us is going to do a double take on something and need to reprogramme the mind once again to see it is nothing to be afraid of. It is all good.

Catalina

 

[BiBunny]

I am firstly rapt you enjoyed it so much, and secondly that you posted the positive experience here to dispel some of the negativeness and fear from all the posts warning about the pain and the weeks of stretching and preparation needed to have the remotest opportunity of a pleasant experience. IMO it is one of the most pleasurable acts on earth and I am 99% more likely to orgasm just through anal sex alone than I ever would through regular vaginal sex without any other stimulation. I always say my G spot is obviously in my butt instead of the usual place, and chances are I am right given my body continually does strange things and has things in places they are not usually found in others.

Catalina

I think I have read somewhere that depending on how a woman is "made," so to speak, that her partner really can hit her G-spot through anal sex.

I've broken a lot of soft limits, more than I can remember off the top of my head, actually. So far the only really "hard" limit I have broken is pissplay. (Wasn't so "hard," was it?) Used to think it was disgusting, but now I love it. Golden showers are kind of meh, unless it's being done for the humiliation factor. But serving as a urinal? Oh, God....*Fans self*

 

[shy slave]

Somewhere around here I said 'I never say never'

But of course there are things in our minds that mean we do think it, whether we wish to or not.

After a long conversation tonight about his wish to do certain things that my mind has never contemplated before, I realised I was saying 'Yes' to the tone of his voice, not the actuality of what was being said.

He patiently explained that saying 'yes' did not mean it would happen tomorrow or the day after. It meant I was re-affirming my commitment to being his slave and acknowledging he can indeed do as he wishes.

He said he would know when the time was right, he then gave me examples of when he has already made those 'right time, wrong time' choices with regard to me and pushing me to do things I have found difficult.

Some of the things he wishes to do may be years away, some may be soon. But nothing would happen without his thought process on when the right time would be.

In less than twelve hours from our first meeting he was challenging some concerns/limits I thought I had.

It wasn't easy to do as he wished, but it would have been harder to fail him.

It is easy to type 'I trust him,' it is harder to believe it.

Tonight he put his thought processes of how he decides what I am ready for, up for my mental scruntiny. I am humbled that he felt comfortable enough with his own self, to do that, and that alone makes my trust of him deepen.

 

[FurryFury]

Somewhere around here I said 'I never say never'

But of course there are things in our minds that mean we do think it, whether we wish to or not.

After a long conversation tonight about his wish to do certain things that my mind has never contemplated before, I realised I was saying 'Yes' to the tone of his voice, not the actuality of what was being said.

He patiently explained that saying 'yes' did not mean it would happen tomorrow or the day after. It meant I was re-affirming my commitment to being his slave and acknowledging he can indeed do as he wishes.

He said he would know when the time was right, he then gave me examples of when he has already made those 'right time, wrong time' choices with regard to me and pushing me to do things I have found difficult.

Some of the things he wishes to do may be years away, some may be soon. But nothing would happen without his thought process on when the right time would be.

In less than twelve hours from our first meeting he was challenging some concerns/limits I thought I had.

It wasn't easy to do as he wished, but it would have been harder to fail him.

It is easy to type 'I trust him,' it is harder to believe it.

Tonight he put his thought processes of how he decides what I am ready for, up for my mental scruntiny. I am humbled that he felt comfortable enough with his own self, to do that, and that alone makes my trust of him deepen.

That sounds absolutely beautiful to me Shy. Good for you and him!

 

[catalina_francisco]

After a long conversation tonight about his wish to do certain things that my mind has never contemplated before, I realised I was saying 'Yes' to the tone of his voice, not the actuality of what was being said.

This is so easy to do. I remember F making me go back and take thinking time before coming back with my answer. It didn't change, but I was touched he made me do that, and honoured he didn't take advantage when it would have been so easy. You sound like you are both in a good place headed onto even better things together.

Catalina

 

[Marquis]

I do breath play every once in a while, but it's definitely not something I'm really into. I just can't shake the feeling that there is some real danger there and trying to incorporate choking or smothering into sex tends to throw me out of the mood before it gets intense enough for my lover's tastes.

I guess you could call it a soft limit of mine, although I fully expect to return to it later on.

In the world of limits, piss and blood are often mentioned fairly quickly, but neither of those have been limits for me for a long time now.

 

[_kiana_]

You know, I must be odd when it comes to limits. When I start to talk to someone about playing with them it's always one of the first questions, obviously. But I have no good answer.

I almost always am willing to try anything once.
If I don't like it, gimme a while and I'll try it again. *wonders when her current play partner is gonna find a wartenburg wheel..*

Seriously. The person I'm playing with is usually the one who comes up with the limits. I would have told you any sort of watersports was on my list, but then I got together with the guy I'm playing with now. Neither of us ever thought of going there before but we did together. And I hope he does more face slapping with me when we can, and I would have said that was a limit before.

I think I need to go at the 'limit' thing differently than others do. Because I have done everything a serious partner has asked me to do even if I wasn't too interested in it or even felt a little unnerved by it. I simply don't know how I can do it differently.

And really? I don't even like having limits. It feels...wrong to put that sort of limitation on someone who is the one in control.

I think I need to stop babbling now.

 

[BiBunny]

You know, I must be odd when it comes to limits. When I start to talk to someone about playing with them it's always one of the first questions, obviously. But I have no good answer.

I almost always am willing to try anything once.
If I don't like it, gimme a while and I'll try it again. *wonders when her current play partner is gonna find a wartenburg wheel..*

Seriously. The person I'm playing with is usually the one who comes up with the limits. I would have told you any sort of watersports was on my list, but then I got together with the guy I'm playing with now. Neither of us ever thought of going there before but we did together. And I hope he does more face slapping with me when we can, and I would have said that was a limit before.

I think I need to go at the 'limit' thing differently than others do. Because I have done everything a serious partner has asked me to do even if I wasn't too interested in it or even felt a little unnerved by it. I simply don't know how I can do it differently.

And really? I don't even like having limits. It feels...wrong to put that sort of limitation on someone who is the one in control.

I think I need to stop babbling now.

You know what? I think I'm that way, too, now that you mention it.