The most awkward or funny thing that happened during sex.....

[EjAcKuLaToR]

I had a g/f in college...wanted to come see her before her folks arrived for the weekend. So, I came over to her dorm room...she'd just gotten out of the shower and put on a sundress. Had her hair wrapped in a towel. I begged her to give me a bit and she pulled off her panties and said "go for it...just cum as quick as you can". So...I did. I fucked her and came pretty quickly. About the time of my last big contraction of cum, there was a knock at the door...it was her folks. Well, she shoves me in the closet and goes to the door to get it.

She answers the door, and her folks come in. Her mom slips on something on the floor and I can hear my g/f saying it is hair conditioner which she takes her towel off her head to clean up the floor. Her mom and dad decide to go back out to the courtyard to wait for her to get ready.

My g/f grabs me as soon as the door closed saying "you owe me buddy"...because what happened was when she opened the door her vagina let part of my load slip out which is what hit the floor and what her mom slipped on.

My g/f and I laughed our asses off about that.

Jack

 

[Davetmat]

I had a g/f in college...wanted to come see her before her folks arrived for the weekend. So, I came over to her dorm room...she'd just gotten out of the shower and put on a sundress. Had her hair wrapped in a towel. I begged her to give me a bit and she pulled off her panties and said "go for it...just cum as quick as you can". So...I did. I fucked her and came pretty quickly. About the time of my last big contraction of cum, there was a knock at the door...it was her folks. Well, she shoves me in the closet and goes to the door to get it.

She answers the door, and her folks come in. Her mom slips on something on the floor and I can hear my g/f saying it is hair conditioner which she takes her towel off her head to clean up the floor. Her mom and dad decide to go back out to the courtyard to wait for her to get ready.

My g/f grabs me as soon as the door closed saying "you owe me buddy"...because what happened was when she opened the door her vagina let part of my load slip out which is what hit the floor and what her mom slipped on.

My g/f and I laughed our asses off about that.

Jack

Haha thats gold mate!

I had a funny episode with my girl one time, we had this bed and it squeaked sometimes when we'd be fucking and so we were going at a nice pace and then suddenly i started laughing and laughing and i couldnt help it and i told her it sounded like the bed was saying " help me, help me!" when it squeaked, we both chuckled and started up again than as i remember it we had to stop again cause we both kept laughing at the bed screaming for help.. i think we decided to do some oral instead for a bit to settle us down

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

The other awkward thing that happened to me was during my first time. I was very young. I was with a woman who was nearly 2x my age. She was 26. I was freaked and sort of scared but turned on and this chick kept coming on to me...begging me to go "all the way" with her. Well, we did a lot of "messing around" and finally it appeared that to go "all the way" was inevitable.

I put on a condom and she laid back on the bed and pulled me in towards her. She guided my penis into her vagina...when my penis touched her vagina, it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was wet and soft and engulfing, and tight, and it felt so natural to have my penis inside it...

Well I had sex with her for a minute or so and I was totally freaked out....she asked me to kiss her nipple...so I did. All the while I'm having sex for the first time and I'm AMAZED at how awesome it feels. So within a couple of minutes I just BUST into cumming. I blow a load of epoch proportion.

The embarrassing part is that she was just getting "going" and I had already cum. I learned pretty quickly after this experience though how to satisfy a woman because this girl kept guiding me and showing me and telling me what to do and what not to do. It was really awesome and helpful for me to learn. I needed that kind of assistance, even if the first time was a bit embarrassing. I just wish I had lasted a while longer.

Jack

 

[postobatwork]

I absolutely was in the middle of a nice mello session when I reached down her back ( she was on top of me) and all of a sudden flet a weird ball of fur...her cat had jumped on the bed and gotten close enough to her body that we didnt feel it, but when my hand slid down apparently he decided to purr and snuggle agaisnt it...i was mortified!. i ended up going home and rubbing one out.

 

[co1029]

Hmm...

The best story I have is the about the first time my girlfriend and I were fooling around in her dorm room. Her roommate had left for the weekend and we were in her loft. I was on top of her and she sat me up so she could take my shirt off. Well, I forgot that I was in a loft bed and I hit my head so hard on the ceiling I literally saw stars. I fell forward on her, luckily I didn't just collapse and was moaning in pain while she was giggling at me. It took me awhile before I could continue and I had a lump on my head the next day!

 

[shykittyme]

Well, this didn't happen during actual physical sex, but during an online chat... I had worked a 12 hr shift the night before and only had a couple hours of sleep that day and it was then around midnight or so... Well, thing's were getting really hot and heavy...literally in mid-fuck, so to speak, and I just zoned out. I literally fell asleep sitting at my keyboard for about half an hour! Oh god, I was sooo so embarrassed, I just couldn't apologize enough to the poor man. Fortunately for me, he was very much a gentleman about it, such a sweet guy about it all, thank god!

 

[pinkeden]

Mine mostly involves pets too. Cats are just bizarre when it comes to sex, they get jealous that someone else is getting "pets".

My cat has decided to hop on the bed and meow for pats, and got very upset when she got (almost literally) thrown outside.

An ex of mine, we were fooling around, lying next to eachother in bed, and BAM, his cat pounched his boner, claws out. Laughed so hard ahahaha.

I sleep without clothes in summer, and not long after I got my nipple pierced, I woke up to a strange erotic sensation. It was my cat sitting my my stomach, pawing at my nipple ring. It was kind of weird.

 

[Missdemeanour]

How did the couple not see the shoe in your jeans??

"I was staying there the night and so the couple went up to bed and my boyfriend asked why I wouldnt help with the coffee and i stood up to show him Id got one of my shoes stuck down the back of my jeans" x

 

[Macdaddy23]

"I was staying there the night and so the couple went up to bed and my boyfriend asked why I wouldnt help with the coffee and i stood up to show him Id got one of my shoes stuck down the back of my jeans" x

That is funny MissD

 

[sportyride]

My ex BF was giving it to me pretty good for as usual. He was holding out forever taking good care of me first. I told him to give it to me now, he pulled out and gave it a few last strokes. Instead of hitting my stomach I watched him shoot over my head to the headboard. I got wide eyed and yelled out Holy s**t. When i looked back at him we broke out and couldn't stop laughing.

 

[sikander]

When the girl I was with started farting through her pussy. I just couldn't keep my dick up I was laughing so hard.

 

[misturbond]

My chewing gum had fallen out of my mouth and I ended up rolling on it and it stuck to my ass.

 

[rbone04]

I was having sex in my bed with this girl back in high school one night, and it was pitch black. I was kind of drunk, so it was taking me forever to get off. She was getting tired and starting to hurt so she started blowing me... again, taking forever so she switched to a hand job. Now typically I feel hand jobs are sometimes kind of rude, but in this particular instance I didn't complain. Anyways, I'm finally about to blow and I know it's gonna be a freak-sized load since it'd been building up so long. Well when my cock is hard, it points right at my face and since it was dark there's no telling the exact angle it was at during the finale. As you can imagine, I soon found out. I blasted myself square in the face... mouth, chin, eyes, hair, EVERYWHERE! I tried to wipe it all off before she turned a light on, but sure enough there was a huge glob stuck to my chin that I'd missed. We both lost it, but she proceeded to tell all her friends and I earned myself the nickname "Sticky Chin" from all her friends for the rest of the damn year.

 

[jcxfarrell]

i must say, thats happened to me the odd time. not good.

 

[val85]

once i started giggling and laughin so hard my bf left pissed... i couldnt stop... he thought i was makin fun of him..i swear i wasnt..uhhmm... second i also had a pussy fartin experience... very embarassing at the time.. thank god im more experienced now and i dont let the silly shit get to oops me

Same exact thing happened to me once (not the farting thankfully).

I was with this guy I had a few classes with in college and was strictly a hook up thing and the second time we were together he closed his eyes and made this really goofy looking face when he was on top of me and I couldn't help but start laughing and it was incredibly awkward and embarrassing for both of us. I still laugh to this day when I picture his face. His mouth went sideways and was really concentrating.

 

[agedmac]

Similar to my cat experience above. Funny stuff

wow, reminds me of girlfriend in college...very cold afternoon, we were getting comfy she had slid her panties off but still dressed because the damn apartment was cold (heater not working well).

She suddenly jumped and then whispered, "Your fingers are awfully cold on my pussy!" I looked down and began to lose it, my Lab Retriever had pushed his big nose right up on her pussy! I started laughing and fell off the bed. At first she was ticked but got the giggles eventually!

 

[BonesJackson]

For some reason before me and my lady were about to engage in sex we were watching
"in the army now" and needless to say we got tired of it and started making out and doin naughty things. Well, we went on with foreplay and everything and when I was getting ready for penetration, Pauly Shore just happened to say something funny and I just happened to be listening and I bust out laughing. The lady didn't particularly like that so she pushed me off of her and off the bed. She got mad and went to the waffle house where as I got mad at myself and drowned my sorrows in syrup at IHOP. I felt so damn stupid for laughing, but I couldn't help it. I don't even think Pauly Shore is funny. Luckily I met up with her next weekend and I was able to make it up to her. I left the tv off.

 

[BradBigBrain]

I was on a four week business trip. My wife came out for the last week. She arrived and the first thing we did was go back to our room and have sex. Lots of hard pounding, bed rattling, head-board smashing against the wall sex. The guy in the room next to us listened the whole time, then told all his friends about how he was jerking off while we were fucking and it felt like he was in a 3some because the wall between us was so thin. Now when we meet his friends they all tell us, "so you're the couple who...."

 

[BradBigBrain]

I was on a four week business trip. My wife came out for the last week. She arrived and the first thing we did was go back to our room and have sex. Lots of hard pounding, bed rattling, head-board smashing against the wall sex. The guy in the room next to us listened the whole time, then told all his friends about how he was jerking off while we were fucking and it felt like he was in a 3some because the wall between us was so thin. Now when we meet his friends they all tell us, "so you're the couple who...."

 

[caw87]

it was a few times after my first time so we were still kinda clumsy dispite how great it was

anyway, we had been fooling around for awhile, then its time. so i move to be ontop of this girl, standard missionary style, and we start going at it. i can't remember exactly how but we changed positions slightly and she freaks saying there is blood all over the sheets

then i totally freak out (being kinda new to the whole penitration thing) and pull out and backwords. it is then we realise when we moved for me to be on top she must have caught my leg with her toe nail. there is a big cutt just above my knee, in the heat of the moment neither of us noticed and it is bleeding everywhere.

we got a plaster and finished up the great sex tho so the story has a happy ending

 

[Lance_GoodThrus]

Ok, keeping in on the topic of pet-related items that several folks have mentioned; a few years ago I was seeing a lady with a cat. This cat was very shy and would disappear under the bed quite often while I was there (especially when we were ...um....being somewhat loud....<blush>). Ok, so we were....'being somewhat loud' one day and, well, we must being 'very loud' as the freakin' bed gave out under us and collapsed. It was actually just one end of the bed that collapsed, but it felt and sounded like the entire thing fell. Now I'll admit to feeling some odd pride in actually making the danged bed collapse during sex (even though I personally think there was probably a flaw in the construction...but heck, I'm going to claim that we were just going at it WILD..hehe). But the 1st thought through my mind was 'omg, we just squished the cat'!!!!!!! I literally bounced off the bed, leaving my 'partner in crime' looking at me dazedly, and lifted up the bed as much as we could expecting to see a crushed kitty. LUCKILY, the cat had better sence than to stay that close to a couple of wild wildabeasts and had fled into the living room. After realizing that we hadn't squished the cat, we both got the giggles and decended into fits of laughter.

 

[Hello4Kitty]

Probably my MIL walking into our house and coming right into the bedroom.

 

[Irwin34]

Probably my MIL walking into our house and coming right into the bedroom.

What were you upto when she walked in?

 

[Mansa Musa]

Not really a "during sex" story, but it's still funny.

The last time that I had sex, I was with this cute Croatian bartender. Normally, I leave the lights on when I'm fucking, but I'd gone a bit fuck-crazy during my time home and things weren't really "up to snuff" phallically, so I left the lights out. I was eating, she was squirming, and I got her to the point where she started moaning at me to fuck her, so I pushed myself in and hoped for the best. My best, on that night, was barely good enough, but she did enjoy herself (I think). And when I finally came, and I pulled myself out, she reached over and grabbed my condom-covered cock and said, "That, that was pretty good". And finally, as if by some sort of perverse twist of fate, my cock decided to reach full erection. When it hit it's high point, she whispered, sort of waveringly, "A-All of this was inside me?". I burst out laughing, my cock wilted, and I was done for the night.

 

[agedmac]

cute stories, worth a bump

I was visiting a girl 'back home' during a college break. We were sitting on a couch under a light cover 'watching a movie', but more making out and at some point, she she had pushed my shorts and underwear down to my knees and had her hand wrapped around the flagpole and I had managed to push her shorts and underwear down to her knees as well as my fingers had a little fun too. Then we heard her mother walk into the room. She stood behind us talking about the movie we were watching as she was sipping a hot cup of tea. The two of us were afraid to move, even though we both had our hands clearly involved! The mother leaned over to reach for something beside us on the couch and in doing so, she tipped her tea and it went right under the cover over my chest and landed on my stomach. "OUCH!" I yelled leaping up which was not smart as the cover went flying, my shorts around my knees twisted I fell forward, her daughter still holding on to my pole as we fell across the little footstool in front of us and landed in a heap, my butt in the air and my girlfriend's shorts and panties also around her knees too. Her mother stood staring at us and my girl began to giggle uncontrollably while I was trying to cover myself. She left us immediately but we couldn't stop laughing.

Had a cat story once when I was 'down' on a girl and looked to the side and her cat was inches from my face, trying to reach my mustache which was right up 'against', so to speak! I lost it laughing. The girl did not find it amusing however!