The new asshat awards; best of the worst messages

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I has a sad. I don't even get PMs about the Cast of Maceration.

I smell a challenge!!

 

[FantasyGir1]

I has a sad. I don't even get PMs about the Cast of Maceration.

Awww...I has a sad for you too! This just ruins my night! *gigglesnort*

I smell a challenge!!

And proposed challenge would be? I could be all in for this one!

 

[midwestyankee]

I smell a challenge!!

“Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot. Take thou what course thou wilt.”

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

“Now let it work. Mischief, thou art afoot. Take thou what course thou wilt.”

Living dangerously! Good!

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Awww...I has a sad for you too! This just ruins my night! *gigglesnort*



And proposed challenge would be? I could be all in for this one!

Proposed challenge would be writing something so atrocious, and sending it to MWY, that it lands you in the Asshat thread. You can do it!
PS - Be sure to work something in about the Cast of Maceration. Or the Blast of Masturbation. Or the Past Obliteration. Or, well.. you're the one taking the challenge Maybe...

 

[CutieMouse]

I changed the (very very very old) "About Me" section of my Fet profile the other night, to something almost non-existent. I also have the profile listed as single, without any indication I'm looking for any relationship of any sort. In addition, I've never bothered to fill out the "fetish list" stuff, because I am waaaaaaaaay more private about that stuff than your average kinkster.

I woke up to an email this morning, from a blank profile, listing off all the things he was "into", with a request to let him know if I was interested.

Wha?

So I asked him what made him decide to email me, given the above facts about my profile?

#1 reason?

I'm a woman, over the age of 40.

I don't know about y'all, but damn if that doesn't just make me all sorts of hawt 'n bothered, ready to drop my panties for some stranger online.

 

[DirtyAllie]

How do they know?

So I haven't been on here in months. You can look, my last post was in mid June and on that thread I posted a real asshat nasty comment.

But my post here is how the hell do these people know you're here? Like I said, I have not even logged onto here since June.

I logged on about an hour ago and within less than a minute, I mean in the time it took me to read a two month old pm and click to the boards, I had some guy asking what I did for work.

He wasn't rude, but my point is I hadn't even posted anywhere....what do they do, look at that huge list of names of who is currently logged on and he happened to see me within sixty seconds?

Weird.

 

[CutieMouse]

So I haven't been on here in months. You can look, my last post was in mid June and on that thread I posted a real asshat nasty comment.

But my post here is how the hell do these people know you're here? Like I said, I have not even logged onto here since June.

I logged on about an hour ago and within less than a minute, I mean in the time it took me to read a two month old pm and click to the boards, I had some guy asking what I did for work.

He wasn't rude, but my point is I hadn't even posted anywhere....what do they do, look at that huge list of names of who is currently logged on and he happened to see me within sixty seconds?

Weird.

There's a place in your profile settings to make your online presence invisible - which means the little circle under your name/ avatar will always be red (offline), instead of green (online). If I remember correctly, there's also a "who's online now" type list at the very bottom of the main forum page.

Your profile isn't masked, because the little circle under your name is green, which means people can "see" when you're online, or not.

 

[DirtyAllie]

There's a place in your profile settings to make your online presence invisible - which means the little circle under your name/ avatar will always be red (offline), instead of green (online). If I remember correctly, there's also a "who's online now" type list at the very bottom of the main forum page.

Your profile isn't masked, because the little circle under your name is green, which means people can "see" when you're online, or not.

I do know about the invisible mode and think I may change to it.

You answered my question....they pretty much must look at the who's on list and pick a name they like.

I suppose my name makes it sound like I want to "meet my daddy" "be spanked" or "am looking for a big cock pic" but I have to believe that I could call myself "imaprude" and they would still do it.

Thanks for the response.

 

[Kyla_girl]

I get illiterate messages here WAY more than I ever do on FetLife. I do admit, though, that my FL profile is more for socializing, where my profile here is more for play.

I deleted a lot of the good messages, but here's one I got the other day:

It was nearing the end of the night when you felt a hand on your shoulder

in quiet you were dragged to the pool table and surrounded your arms and legs were spread and tied to the table

Frankly, it left me with more questions than answers. Like, I don't like bars and I don't like pool, but I do like sleep, so why would I be somewhere with a pool table at the end of the night? Why wouldn't I deck anyone trying to drag me anywhere? Being dragged is uncomfortable, yo. Wouldn't the unorthodox use of the pool table make the other bar patrons rather upset? And most importantly, what happened to all the punctuation marks? Were they dragged off and tied to pool tables too?

 

[strong_daddy]

And most importantly, what happened to all the punctuation marks? Were they dragged off and tied to pool tables too?

They were probably what was being used to tie you down, just a theory.

 

[Erochic]

They were probably what was being used to tie you down, just a theory.

Is it strange that I started to imagine exactly that?


I'm think the question marks and exclamation points would work best... Though a nice bracketing could be fun too

 

[Kyla_girl]

They were probably what was being used to tie you down, just a theory.

Ahh, I hadn't considered that!

Is it strange that I started to imagine exactly that?


I'm think the question marks and exclamation points would work best... Though a nice bracketing could be fun too

Ooh, I wanna be tied up with parentheses and question marks now. Maybe with a period ball gag. Would using a (rounded) comma as a dildo be going too far?

 

[DirtyAllie]

This person has two posts here and this was his first 'interaction' with me today

??
Like it in the ass?

I replied simply "Do you"

 

[midwestyankee]

I changed the (very very very old) "About Me" section of my Fet profile the other night, to something almost non-existent. I also have the profile listed as single, without any indication I'm looking for any relationship of any sort. In addition, I've never bothered to fill out the "fetish list" stuff, because I am waaaaaaaaay more private about that stuff than your average kinkster.

I woke up to an email this morning, from a blank profile, listing off all the things he was "into", with a request to let him know if I was interested.

Wha?

So I asked him what made him decide to email me, given the above facts about my profile?

#1 reason?

I'm a woman, over the age of 40.

I don't know about y'all, but damn if that doesn't just make me all sorts of hawt 'n bothered, ready to drop my panties for some stranger online.

Dammit! Why haven't I tried this before now? I'm such a stupid in these matters.

 

[midwestyankee]

Ahh, I hadn't considered that!




Ooh, I wanna be tied up with parentheses and question marks now. Maybe with a period ball gag. Would using a (rounded) comma as a dildo be going too far?

Go read some Faulkner. If you get out alive, without being ravished by a corn cob, let us know.

 

[strong_daddy]

Is it strange that I started to imagine exactly that?


I'm think the question marks and exclamation points would work best... Though a nice bracketing could be fun too

If you think of the periods as just bare weight they could be used to hold you down. Why I think of the substance known as dark matter from the show Futurama should be obvious.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Attention to detail, please...

Do you enjoy
Watching a man masturbate on his webcam?

For the 18th time, no. Not just no, but HELL no. So STOP FUCKING ASKING, Asshat.
Thank you.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Special needs creep

My girlfriend wants to be handcuffed and spanked. Problem is I don't have any cuffs...

Sorry, using mine Good luck!

It's okay, we will use her sisters leggings

Ok, if you are serious...
Don't tie them too tightly, she needs circulation
Don't put her arms or legs in any unnatural positions, as you could cause nerve damage.
You should have a pair of SAFETY scissors on hand, so that you could cut her free quickly without cutting her.
Make sure you agree on a safe word, and STOP if she uses it.
Now, good luck and have fun

Thank you. I didn't tie them too tight. They are lulu lemons. I tied her ankles with my tie and I shoved her wet panties in her mouth. This whole thing is her idea and wants me to eat her out and rim her. Then pump her with my cock to give her a huge creampie. I only agreed because it would be my first creampie...

Good call. After all, what purpose could a tie serve in your world? Definitely use it to you tie her ankles together, that should further your cause of getting between her legs. Now eat her pussy and ass, genius. See if you can get your entire head up there. Should be cosy for you. Familiar. And I'm unclear on how her panties got wet to begin with. Did you spill your Pabst Blue Ribbon on her? You should really be more careful, as you would best benefit by drinking every ounce and passing out. So would the rest of the world. Let's see, 2008 join date, no doubt you were 18 then as the rules state you must be to join, so that makes you... 24 and you have never come in a pussy or ass? College must have been a real drag. Oh, wait. Never mind. And welcome to the asshat thread.

 

[Endless_Night]

Good call. After all, what purpose could a tie serve in your world? Definitely use it to you tie her ankles together, that should further your cause of getting between her legs. Now eat her pussy and ass, genius. See if you can get your entire head up there. Should be cosy for you. Familiar. And I'm unclear on how her panties got wet to begin with. Did you spill your Pabst Blue Ribbon on her? You should really be more careful, as you would best benefit by drinking every ounce and passing out. So would the rest of the world. Let's see, 2008 join date, no doubt you were 18 then as the rules state you must be to join, so that makes you... 24 and you have never come in a pussy or ass? College must have been a real drag. Oh, wait. Never mind. And welcome to the asshat thread.

You tell him how it is, girl!

Besides, Lulu Lemons are way too expensive to risk having to cut up!

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Which do you enjoy most sex or cooking? Looked at your picture then read your post. I think you should change your profile picture to a woman in an apron.

You pictures are sex but your post are Julia Child.

I am confused is this the cooking channel or the sex sight.

I don't really care how confused you are. I can actually have sex and cook, too! And I can talk about both. Or neither, with you. And BTW, welcome to the asshat thread.

 

[UhlBWett]

Wow

I don't really care how confused you are. I can actually have sex and cook, too! And I can talk about both. Or neither, with you. And BTW, welcome to the asshat thread.

Some folks just don't get it do they............

 

[IrisAlthea]

I don't really care how confused you are. I can actually have sex and cook, too! And I can talk about both. Or neither, with you. And BTW, welcome to the asshat thread.

Now really woman! Do you think you're entitled to have several aspects of yuor personality?

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Some folks just don't get it do they............

No, and I'm convinced that's why they are in such a foul mood much of the time

Now really woman! Do you think you're entitled to have several aspects of yuor personality?

I know. I didn't want to press my luck and mention my 16 other interests

 

[MortalKombatKitteh]

I can't recall specifics, but when they block me after I don't reply. Love that.