The Peice Between Us - BDSM thriller

[KeithD]

Also, nitpicking: is it possible on this BBS for a topic creator to edit their own topic title? Because the misspelling in this one is pushing my OCD to distractiing levels.

I don't think so. But I've been reading it as "Pence," which at least gives me a chuckle.

 

[lovecraft68]

Whether or not Laurel accepts murder depends on whether or not she thinks it’s gratuitous.

She obviously thought the murder of the witness, in Consequences, was and as it didn’t make any real difference to the story I used chloroform instead. She also thought the person being kidnapped further on was gratuitous but when I explained without it the story would be a waste of time she allowed it. There were some further murders, justified and unjustified, further on but I was careful with their description. Consequences has been published in Mature.

https://www.literotica.com/s/consequences-21

I have another story in which several characters are shot and killed and again I took care with the description of the murders not to make them appear gratuitous but necessary for the plot. Kidnapped has been published in Romance.

https://www.literotica.com/s/kidnapped-53

None of the deaths, in either story, are described in any kind of sexual way. No reader, unless they were really weird, could get an orgasm, by any method they choose or prefer, and I think that’s where Laurel draws the line.

That’s why I can’t understand how she allowed the OP’s story because its intent is clearly to have the reader, male or female, masturbate because their imagination tells them the woman, or man, has died in an erotic situation caused by an unnecessary death.

But that’s got nothing to do with the writer, his intention, or the quality of the story itself. It’s about the consistency of Laurel applying the rules she has written.

You're bringing up the other can of worms and that's "rules v rule enforcement' which is basically all about whim and mood. Murder is not supposed to be against the rules providing there is no sexual gratification out of it

As for violence, and sexual torture, there are a lot of BTB stories that should have never made it on here.

Because of the site being run with the mentality of a 12 year old who picks and chooses what they like rather than an actual business owner, these conversations come up and go round and round.

 

[lovecraft68]

Also, nitpicking: is it possible on this BBS for a topic creator to edit their own topic title? Because the misspelling in this one is pushing my OCD to distractiing levels.

No, you can't edit a thread title.

I saw it, but don't have grammar OCD(ask my readers) so it doesn't bother me. If I know what it was supposed to say its fine to me.

 

[TadOverdon]

I saw it, but don't have grammar OCD(ask my readers)...

I think mine is limited to spelling.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Also, nitpicking: is it possible on this BBS for a topic creator to edit their own topic title? Because the misspelling in this one is pushing my OCD to distractiing levels.

I think a misspelling in a title for a thread spruiking someone's own work tells you something.

The OP could report their own thread and ask for a correction, or you could on their behalf; but it's their mistake, not your OCD, that's the glitch.

 

[Vix_Giovanni]

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-piece-between-us

Would love for some feedback. Its a quick read.

Grammatically, I thought your biggest issue was that you switched tenses midway through. Without proper setup, it seems like you didn’t do any proofreading (tense change here is on purpose).

Your story reminded me of the gunplay sex scenes in the show The Sopranos; the follow-up about the blanks in the gun, even more so. Spoiler alert for anyone who’s not seen The Sopranos—in the end, Janice uses the gun to kill Richie.

It seemed to me like your intent was to create characters with dimensional, realistic motivations, since, comparatively, you gave quite a bit of backstory for such a short tale. But personally, I wasn’t able to buy into those motivations; for me, it’s hard to get into characters that jump to extreme sexual violence “merely” for a sexual thrill (especially characters that otherwise are quite vanilla) unless the author plausibly explains both why the characters have jumped into the violence and how the characters’ actions will facilitate a safe, believable return to their regular, vanilla lives (unless, of course, the author makes it very clear that the escalating violence is not supposed to end safely or with a return to “normal”). In your story, for example, in the morning, these two go back to just being Andy’s parents.

To me, your narrative didn’t set up a plausible basis for those character motivations. And without that, I’m hard pressed to understand the “choose your own interpretation” scenario you’re alluding to in this thread. Your narrative acknowledged that guns aren’t safe; the FMC didn’t want one in her home and was reluctant to try gun play, and mainly went along with it to avoid painful sex play…. I didn’t think was sufficient explanation to establish any real safety awareness in the sex scene. Adding to that the physical violence in that scene: it wasn’t clear whether this narrative involved controlled, safe roleplay with boundaries; or, if it was anger and hatred the husband is taking out on his wife; or, whether these characters are just very reckless.... Without clear parameters in the narrative, I’m unable to imagine any ending where “BANG” was anything but a dangerous misfiring of the gun—and I have a really good imagination.

I’m only familiar with one other story where a major thematic point of the narrative is literally the word “BANG” and a blackout, and that’s Cowboy Bebop. In that story, a significant difference is that the “BANG” is on purpose—the readers/viewers know it’s eventually coming: it’s not a, potentially, senseless mistake. The reader isn’t left to interpret what “BANG” itself means, but rather to interpret and analyze what the story means. To me, The Piece Between Us falls short in that way because there’s not really any part of the narrative to discuss or interpret except “What caused the noise?” That’s just an open-ended guessing game.

FWIW, I was disturbed that a child was a character in your story. I personally found that to be a gratuitous affectation; the point of the story would have been exactly the same without Andrew. I thought the net effect of a small child interrupting the sex scene where his parents are pointing a gun at each other was an alarming authorial choice.

Also, nitpicking: is it possible on this BBS for a topic creator to edit their own topic title? Because the misspelling in this one is pushing my OCD to distractiing levels.

I’m not sure whether titles can be edited; but for me, it helps me relax my OCD to remember that misspellings happen to the best of us.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Digressing here, but how likely is a novel that uses a conventional thriller or murder mystery plot to be rejected for violence here? Specifically, what I'm working on now includes a fatal confrontation that doesn't take place in a sexual context, but does involve two characters who have such a history earlier in the story. I hate to describe it as prosaic (oh noes!) but for the sake of an example let's say that it's nothing you wouldn't find on any given episode of a CBS procedural like NCIS: New Orleans (assuming that you had a partner who enjoys that kind of dull entertainment and hogs the remote. Which I of course absolutely do not). Along the lines of: Car. Cliff. Duct tape. Struggle over weapon. Lather, rinse, repeat.

My go-to with this kind of question is to do a tag search and check what's been accepted in the last few years.

Searching on "murder" gets a 404 - there are a few tags Literotica has chosen not to support. But poking around adjacent stuff like "noir", "detective", and "crime" finds quite a few (and "serial killer" is allowed, go figure).

Might get an occasional bounce based on specifics of the story, and moderation can be a little variable, but I'd think your chances are pretty good as long as you keep the sex away from the murder.

 

[lovecraft68]

Here is the search for "Rape"

Please tell me again how Lit does not allow rape stories.

572 pages....572....

Whether or not there is actual rape in the story is another deal, but fact is a site that tells you they don't want rape stories has thousands with the word in the title.

https://search.literotica.com/?query=rape

I love the tag line to this one

A dilemma that might be resolved by a judicious rape.

A judicious rape!, Well of course those should always be allowed....you have to know when women need to be raped.

Here's a better one...I'm sure there's no rape in this one

Fallen Kingdom
A gladiator revolt leads to rape and pillage.

This site's hypocrisy and lies exceed that of a politician.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Also, nitpicking: is it possible on this BBS for a topic creator to edit their own topic title? Because the misspelling in this one is pushing my OCD to distractiing levels.

Only the moderators can do that. The misspelling in the title was the reason I clicked on the thread. I was wondering if it was deliberate, but looks like a typo.

 

[SimonDoom]

You keep saying this, but the examples you give don't prove it.

I checked the search link you provided. All the examples I saw are of rape fantasy stories, where, as the Site provides, the woman is getting enjoyment from the experience. There's nothing hypocritical or inconsistent about his -- the Site is very clear that nonconsensual sex (rape) is fine as long as the woman gets something out of it. And in these stories, all the ones I checked at least, she does.

Your argument is the equivalent of saying that because a story has murder, it's a snuff story. That's not true, nor is it true that because Lit has stories with the word "rape" in the title it's being hypocritical. I have yet to find an example of a story that substantiates your claim of hypocrisy.

It's interesting that people are so flummoxed by Lit's content rules. I find them at times odd and idiosyncratic, but not crazy, or hypocritical, or all that hard to figure out. You just have to put yourself in the shoes of the Site owners and try to figure out what they are trying to accomplish with their rules, and then it makes sense, more or less.

 

[lovecraft68]

You keep saying this, but the examples you give don't prove it.

I checked the search link you provided. All the examples I saw are of rape fantasy stories, where, as the Site provides, the woman is getting enjoyment from the experience. There's nothing hypocritical or inconsistent about his -- the Site is very clear that nonconsensual sex (rape) is fine as long as the woman gets something out of it. And in these stories, all the ones I checked at least, she does.

Your argument is the equivalent of saying that because a story has murder, it's a snuff story. That's not true, nor is it true that because Lit has stories with the word "rape" in the title it's being hypocritical. I have yet to find an example of a story that substantiates your claim of hypocrisy.

It's interesting that people are so flummoxed by Lit's content rules. I find them at times odd and idiosyncratic, but not crazy, or hypocritical, or all that hard to figure out. You just have to put yourself in the shoes of the Site owners and try to figure out what they are trying to accomplish with their rules, and then it makes sense, more or less.

All of them? Knock it off, seriously, you look like a brown nosing tool. Go read the two little examples I posted and come back to me.


Now first off-please pay attention I don't know if I can go slow enough for you with this- All stories here are fantasy, this is fiction, all incest, rape, group etc are made up stories and fictional events.

Following?

So what we now do is what is the CONTENT of said fictional story? The make believe rules here are based on CONTENT the site says it doesn't want. So if a story contains full blown 100% non consensual sex, that is rape, and content the site says it doesn't want so rape fantasy is still rape in that context

Here "rape fantasy" would be what looks like a rape and then oh, it was her boyfriend, and it was a role play

A woman held down against her will, screaming no and being fucked anyway is rape even in this context.

I know you get that, you're not stupid, you just think you're smarter than you are and smarter than myself and others here. File that under rude awakening, many people here have forgotten more than you know.

Some of titles I scrolled through use the word in different ways ,(I saw loving a rape victim in a tag) but all?

576 pages and they're all fantasy? Let's say 1 out of 5 are rape stories, that's 20 percent on a site that says they allow none.

Also...if you have a site and you decide, okay, I don't want rape material....
1-why would you have a non consent section? That's telling people you do, and inviting them to wrote it.
2-you sure as hell would not allow the word rape in a title or blurb
2.1-There is no way other than reading every story submitted you could know if there is rape content in a story, that's obvious, but what is also obvious is that you can easily catch it in a title or tag line

So again, someone comes here, searches "rape" gets 500+ pages of titles and then is told the site doesn't allow rape

You need to stop believing what you see as an authority tells you and use your damn eyes and some common sense

For the 1000th time since I've been here -and first for anyone who has not seen me clarify this-I don't have anything against the stories, they're not my thing, but they're someone's thing and they can write and read and enjoy them, the issue is the lies, the bullshit and the stubborn refusal to admit its a lie by site toadies like yourself.

But then again you write BTB stories so you aren't exactly someone who cares about abuse in the first place, who knows, maybe you don't even recognize it.

Which is where you over rating your own cleverness hurts you, you are more than clear about your feelings about women in a lot of discussions on these boards, you call others bitter incels and make little political comments judging others 'hate' but your own bitterness and anger shine through. You're entitled to those opinions, but they do paint a picture for someone who's been conditioned to spot that behavior.

 

[Payne_Hall]

I take it that it didn’t stay in the zone of acceptance.

 

[ChuckandAndrea]

I take it that it didn’t stay in the zone of acceptance.

Apparently not. Of course it made it through originally... I guess enough people reported it to get it kicked back. Interestingly enough, I've since found others that are certainly worse, but they probably weren't here advertising their stories on the forum.

Meh, I got what I wanted out of it, so it's all good.

 

[SimonDoom]

All of them? Knock it off, seriously, you look like a brown nosing tool. Go read the two little examples I posted and come back to me.


Now first off-please pay attention I don't know if I can go slow enough for you with this- All stories here are fantasy, this is fiction, all incest, rape, group etc are made up stories and fictional events.

Following?

So what we now do is what is the CONTENT of said fictional story? The make believe rules here are based on CONTENT the site says it doesn't want. So if a story contains full blown 100% non consensual sex, that is rape, and content the site says it doesn't want so rape fantasy is still rape in that context

Here "rape fantasy" would be what looks like a rape and then oh, it was her boyfriend, and it was a role play

A woman held down against her will, screaming no and being fucked anyway is rape even in this context.

I know you get that, you're not stupid, you just think you're smarter than you are and smarter than myself and others here. File that under rude awakening, many people here have forgotten more than you know.

Some of titles I scrolled through use the word in different ways ,(I saw loving a rape victim in a tag) but all?

576 pages and they're all fantasy? Let's say 1 out of 5 are rape stories, that's 20 percent on a site that says they allow none.

Also...if you have a site and you decide, okay, I don't want rape material....
1-why would you have a non consent section? That's telling people you do, and inviting them to wrote it.
2-you sure as hell would not allow the word rape in a title or blurb
2.1-There is no way other than reading every story submitted you could know if there is rape content in a story, that's obvious, but what is also obvious is that you can easily catch it in a title or tag line

So again, someone comes here, searches "rape" gets 500+ pages of titles and then is told the site doesn't allow rape

You need to stop believing what you see as an authority tells you and use your damn eyes and some common sense

For the 1000th time since I've been here -and first for anyone who has not seen me clarify this-I don't have anything against the stories, they're not my thing, but they're someone's thing and they can write and read and enjoy them, the issue is the lies, the bullshit and the stubborn refusal to admit its a lie by site toadies like yourself.

But then again you write BTB stories so you aren't exactly someone who cares about abuse in the first place, who knows, maybe you don't even recognize it.

Which is where you over rating your own cleverness hurts you, you are more than clear about your feelings about women in a lot of discussions on these boards, you call others bitter incels and make little political comments judging others 'hate' but your own bitterness and anger shine through. You're entitled to those opinions, but they do paint a picture for someone who's been conditioned to spot that behavior.

Lovecraft, you ignorant slut.

Sometimes I think that's the only way one can respond to the absurd things you say. The things you say sometimes are so loopy and over the top that no other response makes any sense. I'm not even insulted. I think it's laughable. I think other people here think that too.

Most of the time, you say reasonable things. And then every once and a while you go off the rails and sling the most ridiculous insults at people. I don't know what sets you off. You can't just disagree with someone. You have to call them a "brown-nosing tool" or a "toadie" (you called me both in one post - impressive). But if the only way you can make your point is to get down in the dirt and make playground insults, then you must know, someplace deep down, that your point is dubious and that
you are making yourself look ridiculous.

I'm not going to stoop to that sort of name-calling. As a rule, I don't do that. And I won't do that with you ("ignorant slut" notwithstanding -- I couldn't pass that one up).

I'll just point out: you don't ever -- EVER -- substantiate all this nonsense you spout about hypocrisy and inconsistency and whatnot at this site. You justify not providing evidence on the alleged ground that you're not going to be a content cop and get people in trouble for their stories. But that just means you're being coy. You're happy to rail on and on and on about how outrageous it is that stories get posted here that you dislike, but you won't say what those stories are. You're playing both sides of the fence. You've been doing it for years.

Have a few beers, keep taking those meds, and have a great day.

 

[Dark_Logan_]

...the Site is very clear that nonconsensual sex (rape) is fine as long as the woman gets something out of it. And in these stories, all the ones I checked at least, she does.

I personally find this a very strange stance.

As has been pointed out, any story hosted on Lit is a written work of fantasy and fiction. The above rule is not seated in reality though ...how often does non consensual activity result in mutual satisfaction?

From Simon’s point above (different from Simons personal opinion obviously) the site is trivialising rape by suggesting if it’s done right the victim should climax... everyone comfortable with that?

In the first instance it’s extremely belittling and demeaning to victims of such abhorrent acts in real life.

If such scenarios arise surely what must always be considered is the context of the act within the wider story arc. I’m not going there on this thread but the same argument could apply for the other well debated point of contention... that being no one having sex before the age of 18 in the Lit world.

There’s a fine line here and by all means look at ways to eradicate the one page ‘strokers’ deliberately written to describe and draw satisfaction from titillation through illegal sex acts sure.

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water though.

Authors should be free to write about such content if they wish but in a manner that respects the wider context.

In not considering the wider context the Moderating team (!!) are treading a very fine line and acting as Editors. In doing this they stifling creativity, so furthermore they are damaging their own credibility and are dissuading a potential slew of contributors.

I’ll call it what I believe it be if that’s happening ...Censorship





FWIW - I thought the original piece to be reviewed was ambiguous in its finale having built tension but was not snuff. Looks like it’s been deleted now so make of that what you will.

 

[Dark_Logan_]

No-one from Lit stops you from writing whatever you want; don't try to fool people. But Lit is free to set rules on what they allow on their website, and it is free to be strict on enforcing those rules or not. Like you are free to find to other websites to read and/or present your stories.

You've registered your account three months ago, and now you try to tell what Lit should do in order be successful in what they seem to have done very well over the last 20 years? Maybe dissuading a potential slew of contributors in certain genres is part of what makes them successful; maybe being a website that doesn't actively promote certain topics is what attracts readers and contributors?

So a web site that promotes rape on the basis of being tolerable so long as the rapist ensures the victim receives gratification is acceptable?

My apologies

Please let me know when I’ve been here long enough to be indoctrinated. Maybe then oh ‘Guru’ you’ll deem it acceptable for me to speak up at your place of worship

Until then I’ll go back to whichever corner you point to and hide while offering my humble apologies once more for having a point of view you don’t share.