The Poll for Everything Horrible

[dawn_of_night]

Sounds like my hypothetical cock will be fucking a vacuum.

I've never resonated more with a response that included a shop vac....

 

[Indie]

If this is just a way to get me to stick my dick in a vacuum again and film it, you’ll probably get your wish. I see your game.

No one questions my vacuum fucking skills and gets away with it.

You guys are so cute when you flirt.

 

[Amanda330]

This is why his story doesn’t hold up

Exactly.

 

[crazychemgirl]

as usual … the thread is off the rails.


not that it was particularly ON the rails in the first place

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

as usual … the thread is off the rails.


not that it was particularly ON the rails in the first place

Yeah I checked out two pages ago. So you know…

 

[UnquietDreams]

as usual … the thread is off the rails.


not that it was particularly ON the rails in the first place

There are no rails.

 

[dawn_of_night]

There are no rails.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Alright... to all the doubters out there, here we go.

Now, a couple of issues with this video that make it different my previous vacuum relationship.

1. This is not the original shop vac I fucked. Unfortunately, this one doesn't have the appeal of the old one. Or should I say "more mature" one.

2. The hose on this vacuum is way too small. It doesn't have a nice dick sized hose. As a result, I could only get a flaccid "just the tip" video. I was afraid it was going to get stuck as it got harder, which happened almost immediately. I was genuinely concerned it would get stuck, so I had to be quick about it.

3. I had to use lube (not WD-40) to even make this happen. I didn't do that with the old vac. I tried talking dirty, but it still needed lube.

4. I did not cum.

This is obviously a million times better than the butter churner.

In case you're really dumb, this link is NSFW.

https://www.***********/scl/fi/6u1n...59-2.mp4?rlkey=4p4au6zoe6k1hu47umdevlffb&dl=0

 

[Indie]

Alright... to all the doubters out there, here we go.

Now, a couple of issues with this video that make it different my previous vacuum relationship.

1. This is not the original shop vac I fucked. Unfortunately, this one doesn't have the appeal of the old one. Or should I say "more mature" one.

2. The hose on this vacuum is way too small. It doesn't have a nice dick sized hose. As a result, I could only get a flaccid "just the tip" video. I was afraid it was going to get stuck as it got harder, which happened almost immediately. I was genuinely concerned it would get stuck, so I had to be quick about it.

3. I had to use lube (not WD-40) to even make this happen. I didn't do that with the old vac. I tried talking dirty, but it still needed lube.

4. I did not cum.

This is obviously a million times better than the butter churner.

In case you're really dumb, this link is NSFW.

https://www.***********/scl/fi/6u1n...59-2.mp4?rlkey=4p4au6zoe6k1hu47umdevlffb&dl=0

Don't forget to tag @Bry1313 and @OrdinaryPerson

Brilliant job. And I hope you find a bigger hose.

 

[Bry1313]

Alright... to all the doubters out there, here we go.

Now, a couple of issues with this video that make it different my previous vacuum relationship.

1. This is not the original shop vac I fucked. Unfortunately, this one doesn't have the appeal of the old one. Or should I say "more mature" one.

2. The hose on this vacuum is way too small. It doesn't have a nice dick sized hose. As a result, I could only get a flaccid "just the tip" video. I was afraid it was going to get stuck as it got harder, which happened almost immediately. I was genuinely concerned it would get stuck, so I had to be quick about it.

3. I had to use lube (not WD-40) to even make this happen. I didn't do that with the old vac. I tried talking dirty, but it still needed lube.

4. I did not cum.

This is obviously a million times better than the butter churner.

In case you're really dumb, this link is NSFW.

https://www.***********/scl/fi/6u1n...59-2.mp4?rlkey=4p4au6zoe6k1hu47umdevlffb&dl=0

1) that was just the tip
2) the fact that you were concerned about a seal on this shows going all in is a terrible idea
3) now that you are my video bitch I’ll have to come up with more tasks for you
4) appreciate the effort and being a part of what makes Lit fun and special

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Alright... to all the doubters out there, here we go.

Now, a couple of issues with this video that make it different my previous vacuum relationship.

1. This is not the original shop vac I fucked. Unfortunately, this one doesn't have the appeal of the old one. Or should I say "more mature" one.

2. The hose on this vacuum is way too small. It doesn't have a nice dick sized hose. As a result, I could only get a flaccid "just the tip" video. I was afraid it was going to get stuck as it got harder, which happened almost immediately. I was genuinely concerned it would get stuck, so I had to be quick about it.

3. I had to use lube (not WD-40) to even make this happen. I didn't do that with the old vac. I tried talking dirty, but it still needed lube.

4. I did not cum.

This is obviously a million times better than the butter churner.

In case you're really dumb, this link is NSFW.

https://www.***********/scl/fi/6u1n...59-2.mp4?rlkey=4p4au6zoe6k1hu47umdevlffb&dl=0

You win the internet. Case closed. Shop vac is the superior choice (unless someone wants to demonstrate the butter churner?)

And... When are you buying the bigger hose attachment?

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Don't forget to tag @Bry1313 and @OrdinaryPerson

Brilliant job. And I hope you find a bigger hose.

You are a treasure

 

[Indie]

You win the internet. Case closed. Shop vac is the superior choice (unless someone wants to demonstrate the butter churner?)

I think I heard @Bry1313 volunteer

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I think I heard @Bry1313 volunteer

*waits eagerly

 

[Bry1313]

I think I heard @Bry1313 volunteer

Unlike some on here, I am not your video bitch

 

[Lord Pmann]

Don't forget to tag @Bry1313 and @OrdinaryPerson

Brilliant job. And I hope you find a bigger hose.

I'm not in need of a hose at this time, thank you.

1) that was just the tip
2) the fact that you were concerned about a seal on this shows going all in is a terrible idea
3) now that you are my video bitch I’ll have to come up with more tasks for you
4) appreciate the effort and being a part of what makes Lit fun and special

1. That's all that would fit.
2. It's a fine idea, if you are aware of the risks going in. As soon as I looked at this vac, I realized this hose wasn't as heavy duty as my previous. It's like this... sticking your dick in a vagina is a great idea; but sticking your dick in a vagina with teeth is not. Proper risk analysis is important.
3. What does this say about your preferences that, of all the videos you could ask for on a forum with hot, high sex-drive women, you ask for my dick in a vacuum?
4. Thanks! I enjoy the banter and I'm always up for a good challenge.

You win the internet. Case closed. Shop vac is the superior choice (unless someone wants to demonstrate the butter churner?)

And... When are you buying the bigger hose attachment?

No, no. I don't need the vacuum anymore. I have toys and a real, human, female vagina that's willing to fuck me these days.

 

[Indie]

Unlike some on here, I am not your video bitch

Rightttt.

 

[GhostOfFAS]

This thread might be peak Lit. Or maybe it’s the absolute bottom of the barrel. I’m not sure yet.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I'm suspicious

Who here actually thinks pmann would be caught dead in those pants?

 

[Lord Pmann]

This thread might be peak Lit. Or maybe it’s the absolute bottom of the barrel. I’m not sure yet.

Peak.

I'm suspicious

Who here actually thinks pmann would be caught dead in those pants?

They're Brooks Brothers Friday Shorts! How dare you!!!

Edited to add: do you think that anyone else is willing to stick their dick in a vacuum???

 

[aussiegeekygal]

do you think that anyone else is willing to stick their dick in a vacuum???

This is lit. Dick is everywhere...

Brooks Brothers Friday Shorts

They look like fancy prison garb to me...

Also, fuck you for tricking me into looking at your dick.
This has been a bullshit few weeks of unintentional genital exchange

 

[Lord Pmann]

Also, fuck you for tricking me into looking at your dick.

I'd be really upset to find out I was missing out on something so amazing, too.

Funny how you lose your bush and all of a sudden you see my dick.

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

Unlike some on here, I am not your video bitch

 

[MissLabelled]

Edited to add: do you think that anyone else is willing to stick their dick in a vacuum???

I put my dick in a vacuum once. I have a vagina now.

 

[enbiji]

I don't think you want my ova clogging up your vacuum

Just sayin'