The Poll for Everything Horrible

I was going to choose "W" for "wa'd'fuq?" but I don't want you to pick me out a shop vac, so I am going with "B."

Especially as you do not state it is turned on.

And OP, you kind of scare me.

 
D. I cannot imagine fucking anyone's ass (mine included) with the wide end of a butter churner... Unless I enjoyed bringing people pain. And that's just not me. I like making people feel really good.

Plus... I like being able to control whether or not I want to take a shit and I think that thing would rip all of my schincter muscles leading to uncontrollable shitting from me all the time. That would stink and I'm not about the stinky life.

Sounds like my hypothetical cock will be fucking a vacuum.
 

If anyone is seriously considering the butter churner after that video, they get a 0 on the purity test.

D. I cannot imagine fucking anyone's ass (mine included) with the wide end of a butter churner... Unless I enjoyed bringing people pain. And that's just not me. I like making people feel really good.

Plus... I like being able to control whether or not I want to take a shit and I think that thing would rip all of my schincter muscles leading to uncontrollable shitting from me all the time. That would stink and I'm not about the stinky life.

Sounds like my hypothetical cock will be fucking a vacuum.

Great minds think alike.
 
D. I cannot imagine fucking anyone's ass (mine included) with the wide end of a butter churner... Unless I enjoyed bringing people pain. And that's just not me. I like making people feel really good.

Plus... I like being able to control whether or not I want to take a shit and I think that thing would rip all of my schincter muscles leading to uncontrollable shitting from me all the time. That would stink and I'm not about the stinky life.

Sounds like my hypothetical cock will be fucking a vacuum.
It is probably better with the hypothetical cock than a real one, so good choice.
 
Thank you. I showed this to my hubs and he agreed. The butter churner is worse than the shop vac.

It’s not even close. Dammit. Why do people think shoving that thing up their ass is preferable? People are so corrupt.

It is probably better with the hypothetical cock than a real one, so good choice.

Why are people so scared of sticking their dick in a vacuum? People are so prudish.
 
Why are people so scared of sticking their dick in a vacuum? People are so prudish.
Unlike the King Missile song, I am rather attached to mine. I would just as well avoid industrial appliances, but that is just me.

That said, I will still take that over the butter churn.
 
D. I cannot imagine fucking anyone's ass (mine included) with the wide end of a butter churner... Unless I enjoyed bringing people pain. And that's just not me. I like making people feel really good.

Plus... I like being able to control whether or not I want to take a shit and I think that thing would rip all of my schincter muscles leading to uncontrollable shitting from me all the time. That would stink and I'm not about the stinky life.

Sounds like my hypothetical cock will be fucking a vacuum.
This was a roller coaster of a read babe.
 
Somehow I doubt you can actually give factual knowledge regarding how similar the two are.

The womanizer blows air btw. It doesn't suck.

I’m insulted that you would question my knowledge of how the female vagina works.
 
I’m insulted that you would question my knowledge of how the female vagina works.
Only because I thought your specialty was horses? 😇

Have you actually ever touched a pussy? Or just dreamed of them? 🤔
 
As someone who repeatedly fucked a shop vac, I’m gonna have to say that anyone voting for anything other than the shop vac is just plain weird. :D

I feel like I’m gonna have to prove this to y’all. Shop vacs are safe for dicks. I don’t know what kind of assholes you all have, but mine has been coddled and would not handle this kind of treatment. What the hell are you shoving up your assholes that make this a better option?

I have doubts
 
As someone who repeatedly fucked a shop vac, I’m gonna have to say that anyone voting for anything other than the shop vac is just plain weird. :D

I feel like I’m gonna have to prove this to y’all. Shop vacs are safe for dicks. I don’t know what kind of assholes you all have, but mine has been coddled and would not handle this kind of treatment. What the hell are you shoving up your assholes that make this a better option?
We'll be waiting.
 
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