The Porn Position Poetry Pollapalooza

[champagne1982]

Champ my husband wants to know if you tried it out and discovered the feet problem??!!!

LOL. It's because orange blob has classic hip bone lines, not glute mounds and her hands are also turned out as if she's leaning on them. I think the whole thing looks like a mutant conjoined almagamation frog laid out on the wax tray as if for dissection.

There's a sick image for a poem.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Okay, boys and girls, today's challenge is to be exceptionally cute, cuddly, or contaminated with number.......24 (ooohhh, bj, sooo close...)

Once again, The Link

God, you're such a tease! And here I had my cowgrrrl hat all dusted off.

Champ my husband wants to know if you tried it out and discovered the feet problem??!!!

Wait. ... you mean trying them all out wasn't part of the original assignment?

LOL. It's because orange blob has classic hip bone lines, not glute mounds and her hands are also turned out as if she's leaning on them. I think the whole thing looks like a mutant conjoined almagamation frog laid out on the wax tray as if for dissection.

There's a sick image for a poem.

There's something in that, for sure, but I'm not going there. Biology class was very traumatic for me.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Wonder if I should mention the eyeball I was trying to cut into pinging across the lab floor? No praps not ......

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Wonder if I should mention the eyeball I was trying to cut into pinging across the lab floor? No praps not ......

Agh! Major heebie-jeebie attack!

*gets up and runs around in little circles, trying to get the eels out of her spine.*

let's just get back to the actual topic now before my goosebumps get goosebumps.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

It looked surprised ..........sorreeeeeeee ouchhhhhh gerrof!!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

It looked surprised ..........sorreeeeeeee ouchhhhhh gerrof!!

*laughing AND having the creeps all at once*

AUGH!

Time for you to learn that chicks spank WAY harder than guys. 'Cos they know how much you can actually take.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Do you kiss it better after though that's the question ?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Do you kiss it better after though that's the question ?

I try so hard to be harsh, but generally I can't help but feel a teency bit regretful when I see all those red marks. So yeah.


But not before I get very serious with the crop. Assume the position.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The squashed frog position

Okay, boys and girls, today's challenge is to be exceptionally cute, cuddly, or contaminated with number.......24 (ooohhh, bj, sooo close...)

Once again, The Link

This is the perfect position to use at rock concerts when the support band isn't that hot. Not only does your partner get to check (on the upward stroke) on conditions on the stage but also to provide the restless crowd with much needed entertainment, whilst never forgetting this couples innate desire to perform in public. There is a chance to perform either facing forward or back depending on the flexibility of the female partners feet but also taking into consideration the male partners penis strength (please google pogo and boiing)

 

[Anschul]

* bows to pressure (so to speak)... *. Okay boys and girls, I'm gonna sell tickets to this one, because our favorite Bistro hostess has already treated us to a glimpse of where she is going on this one, including costumes. I just can't wait, and maybe I'll record this one in digital tape to keep it for posterity. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you "Backwards Leaning Horse," Position Number 23..
Have at it my friends. Someone please contain the Extremely Unpredictable One.

 

[sassypeach]

Champ my husband wants to know if you tried it out and discovered the feet problem??!!!

I went back and had a look. *peers closely* and I think her feet are the right way.

Her legs are wrapped around the outside of his legs, she is a bouncing Bijou in a sense. Her heels pressed against his legs for purchase, riding that pogo stick.

Hope this makes sense?

I can see it in my head.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

pouts (can sulk for England) 'someone' mentioning no names didn't even notice my hard work and gets the well known anglo saxon curse of 'not getting any sexxxxxx for a month'
*wanders off stage left muttering curses under breath telling 'someone' where to stick his positions*
let's see you get out of this one

 

[champagne1982]

I went back and had a look. *peers closely* and I think her feet are the right way.

Her legs are wrapped around the outside of his legs, she is a bouncing Bijou in a sense. Her heels pressed against his legs for purchase, riding that pogo stick.

Hope this makes sense?

I can see it in my head.

Maybe so, maybe so, I just think our orangey trollop is making things a bit awkward for herself, if she holds her feet with toes pointed out, her elbows locked straight and her wrists all twisted funny, were she sitting titty to face with her green blob.

 

[Anschul]

I went back and had a look. *peers closely* and I think her feet are the right way.

Her legs are wrapped around the outside of his legs, she is a bouncing Bijou in a sense. Her heels pressed against his legs for purchase, riding that pogo stick.

Hope this makes sense?

I can see it in my head.

Maybe you can show ME! Apparently I missed it. But then I'm not into feet. But I AM into Calvin and Hobbes! Yay!

 

[Anschul]

pouts (can sulk for England) 'someone' mentioning no names didn't even notice my hard work and gets the well known anglo saxon curse of 'not getting any sexxxxxx for a month'
*wanders off stage left muttering curses under breath telling 'someone' where to stick his positions*
let's see you get out of this one

Would a nice lick or two make it up to you? After reading your fine description, I went off to be with myself for a while. *winks*

 

[sassypeach]

pouts (can sulk for England) 'someone' mentioning no names didn't even notice my hard work and gets the well known anglo saxon curse of 'not getting any sexxxxxx for a month'
*wanders off stage left muttering curses under breath telling 'someone' where to stick his positions*
let's see you get out of this one

I went, I looked - I apologise. *sighs deeply*

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I went, I looked - I apologise. *sighs deeply*

Not you lol !

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Would a nice lick or two make it up to you? After reading your fine description, I went off to be with myself for a while. *winks*

NO I can't be fobbed off with a couple of licks while you're off tarting elsewhere! How insulting!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Well UYS is in rare saucy form today, I see.

Your description was a hoot, and you're right - that one does, o whoops I mean would theoretically - work at rock concerts.

holy shit, no pressure on me or anything... *off to panic*

bj

 

[sassynyc]

i was wondering when you'd get to #23. i've been pouting for days
visions of chaps, riding crops, cowboy hats and lassos running amok. gotta luv this place
but i digress....

caption:
*rode hard and put away wet.....and off to the glue factory if mistress doesn't get her encore*

 

[unpredictablebijou]

well you shore didn't give me much warning

but I do try to please. here it is.

to the tune of “Ghost Riders in the Sky”


When Third Eye Sadie came to town, the men all quaked in fear
Cause it was known both far and wide that any who got near
Would find themselves a-hurtin' and occasionally half-dead.
You never knew what sick ideas were in that cowgirrrl's head.

The men all dove under the bar when she strode through the door
They didn't mind the sticky spills that covered up the floor.
“The saddlehorn is my best friend,” the patrons heard her say,
“But sometimes it just ain't enough, so I'm in town today.”

CHORUS
Yippie-yi ohhhhh
Yippie-yi yayyyyy
Sadie's back in town.

You could have heard a pin drop in that sleazy old saloon
When she continued, “Y'all should know if I don't get some soon
I'll shoot this town to pieces and it'll only be a start
I'll come to your rooms one by one and take you all apart.”

It looked like doom for Weedytown til a voice came through the door
A Western drawl with such a lisp it might have worn Dior.
“I'll save your town and won't ask much 'cept what you've got to drink,
Though they call me Three Dollar Bill I'm meaner than you think.”

Yippie-yi ohhhhh etc.

The figure that pranced through the doors was quite a sight to see
in fuschia chaps with gold lame and fringe down to the knee
He sashayed up to Sadie and he took her by the hand
And said, “If playin' rough's your game, then Sugar, I'm your man.”

What they asked from room service made legends far and wide.
Eight rattlesnakes, some kerosene, six rolls of ostrich-hide,
A hitching post, three roosters and a full-grown brahma bull.
The barkeep had to make them Cosmos by the pitcher-full.

Yippie-yi-oh etc.

Now what went on that night upstairs no living man will tell
But some will say that early on the people heard a yell
so fearsome and so vicious that the whole town quaked in fear;
the howls of pain and sounds of whips made grown men spill their beer.

They left the room in such a state the innkeeper just cried
to see the bloodstains, lube and feather boas strewn inside.
No one knows just where they went, but all the townies think
They rode together toward the dawn to paint the prairie pink.

Yippie-yi ohhhhh
Yippie yi yayyyyyyy.
Paint that prairie pink.

 

[Tzara]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you "Backwards Leaning Horse," Position Number 23..

My back hurts.

........Can you just get off
...quickly?

 

[Homburg]

So here's the challenge: Every day, I will post a link to one of my hot, hot, hot porn movies. Anyone who wants to play, please take that link (and that link only), and write a poem. Or a caption. Or a dialogue (my personal favorite). Or a sonnet. Or a ballad. Or an ode. Or put up a picture of yourself in that position. Or put up a picture of Bijou in that position. Or put up a picture of Homburg in that position. Or put up a picture of Bijou and Homburg in that position. Or write a story about Bijou and Homburg in that position. Or come up with a way for me and Bijou to try that position, even though we're time zones apart (don't worry, BJ, number 23 will come up soon enough).

I'm not sure if I should be mortified, or feel exulted, that my name pops up when a porn challenge is offered.

I'm in as soon as I finish laughing my ass off.

Maybe Homburg's got a shibari tie that will keep it on.

bj

Yup, ties for every occassion. Need your ass held on? we've got a tie for that. Parties, weddings, bar mitzvahs, you have a party, we have rope.

 

[Anschul]

Holy Sh..!!!

but I do try to please. here it is.

to the tune of “Ghost Riders in the Sky”


When Third Eye Sadie came to town, the men all quaked in fear
Cause it was known both far and wide that any who got near
Would find themselves a-hurtin' and occasionally half-dead.
You never knew what sick ideas were in that cowgirrrl's head.

The men all dove under the bar when she strode through the door
They didn't mind the sticky spills that covered up the floor.
“The saddlehorn is my best friend,” the patrons heard her say,
“But sometimes it just ain't enough, so I'm in town today.”

CHORUS
Yippie-yi ohhhhh
Yippie-yi yayyyyy
Sadie's back in town.

You could have heard a pin drop in that sleazy old saloon
When she continued, “Y'all should know if I don't get some soon
I'll shoot this town to pieces and it'll only be a start
I'll come to your rooms one by one and take you all apart.”

It looked like doom for Weedytown til a voice came through the door
A Western drawl with such a lisp it might have worn Dior.
“I'll save your town and won't ask much 'cept what you've got to drink,
Though they call me Three Dollar Bill I'm meaner than you think.”

Yippie-yi ohhhhh etc.

The figure that pranced through the doors was quite a sight to see
in fuschia chaps with gold lame and fringe down to the knee
He sashayed up to Sadie and he took her by the hand
And said, “If playin' rough's your game, then Sugar, I'm your man.”

What they asked from room service made legends far and wide.
Eight rattlesnakes, some kerosene, six rolls of ostrich-hide,
A hitching post, three roosters and a full-grown brahma bull.
The barkeep had to make them Cosmos by the pitcher-full.

Yippie-yi-oh etc.

Now what went on that night upstairs no living man will tell
But some will say that early on the people heard a yell
so fearsome and so vicious that the whole town quaked in fear;
the howls of pain and sounds of whips made grown men spill their beer.

They left the room in such a state the innkeeper just cried
to see the bloodstains, lube and feather boas strewn inside.
No one knows just where they went, but all the townies think
They rode together toward the dawn to paint the prairie pink.

Yippie-yi ohhhhh
Yippie yi yayyyyyyy.
Paint that prairie pink.

 

[sassynyc]

this is everything i ever imagined and then some......times ten!

but I do try to please. here it is.

to the tune of “Ghost Riders in the Sky”


When Third Eye Sadie came to town, the men all quaked in fear
Cause it was known both far and wide that any who got near
Would find themselves a-hurtin' and occasionally half-dead.
You never knew what sick ideas were in that cowgirrrl's head.

The men all dove under the bar when she strode through the door
They didn't mind the sticky spills that covered up the floor.
“The saddlehorn is my best friend,” the patrons heard her say,
“But sometimes it just ain't enough, so I'm in town today.”

CHORUS
Yippie-yi ohhhhh
Yippie-yi yayyyyy
Sadie's back in town.

You could have heard a pin drop in that sleazy old saloon
When she continued, “Y'all should know if I don't get some soon
I'll shoot this town to pieces and it'll only be a start
I'll come to your rooms one by one and take you all apart.”

It looked like doom for Weedytown til a voice came through the door
A Western drawl with such a lisp it might have worn Dior.
“I'll save your town and won't ask much 'cept what you've got to drink,
Though they call me Three Dollar Bill I'm meaner than you think.”

Yippie-yi ohhhhh etc.

The figure that pranced through the doors was quite a sight to see
in fuschia chaps with gold lame and fringe down to the knee
He sashayed up to Sadie and he took her by the hand
And said, “If playin' rough's your game, then Sugar, I'm your man.”

What they asked from room service made legends far and wide.
Eight rattlesnakes, some kerosene, six rolls of ostrich-hide,
A hitching post, three roosters and a full-grown brahma bull.
The barkeep had to make them Cosmos by the pitcher-full.

Yippie-yi-oh etc.

Now what went on that night upstairs no living man will tell
But some will say that early on the people heard a yell
so fearsome and so vicious that the whole town quaked in fear;
the howls of pain and sounds of whips made grown men spill their beer.

They left the room in such a state the innkeeper just cried
to see the bloodstains, lube and feather boas strewn inside.
No one knows just where they went, but all the townies think
They rode together toward the dawn to paint the prairie pink.

Yippie-yi ohhhhh
Yippie yi yayyyyyyy.
Paint that prairie pink.