The Secret Diary of Janey Jones

[Curious_in_Cali]

Me too!!! Was happy to see some more Janey today!

Me three. It is day 3 that the twitches drive me to wander darker allies with an old syringe aching for a fix... it isn't pretty. Well, maybe it kinda is.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

When life brings me to my knees and I find myself kneeling before no-mans cock, I am in the best position to pray.

I keep coming back to this thought in the way that I fight mentally to come back to my breath when I meditate, folded upon my tender knees. When really considering life's cruel effect on our histamines, it made me realize that the swallowing of a sword offers such a merciful tracheotomy... don't you think?

Let’s play resistance! I always did love a struggle. The kind that leaves us weak, attenuated things like a vaccine that prevents true harm.

I wish for no ease at all. It’s the pain of this world that keeps my mind awake, my eyes alert, and my belly bracing for the next life lashing. When I don’t have my own hurt, I absorb the pain of others like the dirty dish sponge I left in the sink. I wring my brain out, and the tears stream a gray matter on the face of our being.

You can dig as deep as you want but the truth is buried right beneath the superficial layer of our pink blush. The only part of me that I hoard deeply in my treasure chest isn’t worth dirtying the surgical tools for. I lost the key anyway.

I would love a honey colored crown that are the braids piled on the top of my heavy head. The water makes us light as we swim on makeshift rafts, the ones that the construction workers left behind. I’ll rub your back with a mixture of oil, iodine and innocence. We will stare at the trees with our rose-y colored glasses, and not really think about mans search for meaning.

Your crackling cocoons will bloom on their own, and believe me: I will watch. I won’t let you scream as you morph into butterfly. I will stuff your mouth with cotton candy dreams to pass the pain off.

And I will tell you: All pain ends eventually.

Wrastlin', now there is an idea. I will struggle my bestest struggle and just for you I will hold a strong face that lies and tells you that I want to win.

Janey, please, please continue your collecting and wringing out of pain as it paints the loveliest water colored pictures of gnarled trees and shadows of a deep enchanted forest that I keep getting lost in. It is only your pungent saline suffering that fills the rivers for me to drink from and I have a long way to go on my quest for your treasure chest. I admit I am a bit renewed in knowing that you have X'd it on your map for me. Thank you.

We can float on your river and I will hang limp to be carried on my greasy yellowed back with rose petals in my eyes. You see, I still seem to be drunk and walking would likely be a pretty useless form of transportation anyways.

I will enjoy the cotton mouthed candy blush and savor the pain if it is all the same to you. Do not worry, I shall not let my screams distract you from filling me with whatever you like.

I will have to ponder this idea of yours that pain ends. What a torment you offer. If pain ends, I would certainly suffer in its absence and create a fun house mirrored cave of pain that begins and ends to feed itself into eternity. If you are wrong and it does not end, then this lie you have told me would be a betrayal that would fuel my pain like fresh air in a fire. I am not sure what I want to believe, but I will think on it and get back to you.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I wouldn't. You're being honest. As a "nice guy" he ought to appreciate the honesty.

Besides, what are the odds he's really all that nice, anyway?

My theories on nice guys are barbaric. As a nice guy he might pretend to appreciate the honesty while harboring confusion and anger.

This makes nice guys seem so dangerous to me, they could snap at any time. Exactly, what are the chances that someone who labels themselves as a nice guy, truly are nice? I prefer honesty, and if he's gonna beat my ass in a jealous rage one day: I want to know of that possibility. That would be nice!

Maybe I just don't like the word nice. I am nice. I would never describe myself as nice. Damn, I don't even know what that word really means. I have to go look it up now.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Me three. It is day 3 that the twitches drive me to wander darker allies with an old syringe aching for a fix... it isn't pretty. Well, maybe it kinda is.

You are going to get the needle filled with words, and it's going to be a big bolus administered with my rapid infuser.

 

[butterfly_flip]

My theories on nice guys are barbaric. As a nice guy he might pretend to appreciate the honesty while harboring confusion and anger.

This makes nice guys seem so dangerous to me, they could snap at any time. Exactly, what are the chances that someone who labels themselves as a nice guy, truly are nice? I prefer honesty, and if he's gonna beat my ass in a jealous rage one day: I want to know of that possibility. That would be nice!

Maybe I just don't like the word nice. I am nice. I would never describe myself as nice. Damn, I don't even know what that word really means. I have to go look it up now.

The word 'nice' makes me cringe. I want to cut it up and make something bloody and terrible with the pieces.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I keep coming back to this thought in the way that I fight mentally to come back to my breath when I meditate, folded upon my tender knees. When really considering life's cruel effect on our histamines, it made me realize that the swallowing of a sword offers such a merciful tracheotomy... don't you think?

Man is the weak, but much needed vicar in the pursuit of submission. It is an earthly divinity as we can know it, and if the blessing is temporary loss of breath, followed by the merciful breathing over his tracheotomy tool, then so be it! Let me be the safety sheath for his sword!

 

[sweepthefloor]

The word 'nice' makes me cringe. I want to cut it up and make something bloody and terrible with the pieces.

Let's do it! It will be therapeutic! It will be an art piece!

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

You are going to get the needle filled with words, and it's going to be a big bolus administered with my rapid infuser.

Oh Janey, do you understand that I am but a junkie moth locked in a suicidal quest for your lighting words? You can trust that I shall be a good girl and endeavor to sit still and take it all in. Even as I swell and stretch to the limits of my pinkish skin, please know I will do my very bestest not to waste a drop of you. Oh, and if I buckle somewhere in the middle of it all and cry out you can keep my tears, so long as I can have a lollipop when you are done.

 

[sweepthefloor]

.... my tender knees.

These are the tender please knees, and they are not upside down. The world is.
or...These are the tender please knees, and they are upside down. It doesn’t matter how many times I flip myself over, I keep ending up like this. This is some gyroscopic inertia trick, and maybe some brute force will end this spinning.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Man is the weak, but much needed vicar in the pursuit of submission. It is an earthly divinity as we can know it, and if the blessing is temporary loss of breath, followed by the merciful breathing over his tracheotomy tool, then so be it! Let me be the safety sheath for his sword!

Yes, I like this idea. What a wonderful sort of bubble wrap around the jagged violent needs of men a warm pink mouth can be... Safety is important.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

These are the tender please knees, and they are not upside down. The world is.
or...These are the tender please knees, and they are upside down. It doesn’t matter how many times I flip myself over, I keep ending up like this. This is some gyroscopic inertia trick, and maybe some brute force will end this spinning.

I find your tender knees pleasing and your ruffled pink flower teasing. Forgive me for turning you, I simply can't help myself... you are such a kaleidoscope of pulchritude.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I find your tender knees pleasing and your ruffled pink flower teasing. Forgive me for turning you, I simply can't help myself... you are such a kaleidoscope of pulchritude.

I can only imagine what a pulchritude is! I am shy about the knees. I might delete them.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I can only imagine what a pulchritude is! I am shy about the knees. I might delete them.

It seems this idea of surrendering your knees is an odd sort of typo.

But if it is not...Please don't! They are such lovely fleshy pivots you have there. And even if you don't believe me that they are lovely, really, once the care package I sent to you that is filled with serendipity and rainbow toe socks arrives...you will be kneeding them. I am sure of it.

 

[sweetmoonbeam]

Who cares about the knees. Check out those socks! Hubba hubba.


No, seriously. Leave the knees. They're adorable.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Let's do it! It will be therapeutic! It will be an art piece!

Yay!

*rushes off to collect her dull scissors, hot glue gun, rainbows of colored pencils, lumpy charcoal, & sparkle paints.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I am trying to force myself back into the academic cage, but socks are so much more fun.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I am trying to force myself back into the academic cage, but socks are so much more fun.

Have you tried tossing a few triple chocolate fudgey truffles drizzled with caramel in there and waiting to see if she pops in for a bite? Because then you have her and can lock the door if you want.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Have you tried tossing a few triple chocolate fudgey truffles drizzled with caramel in there and waiting to see if she pops in for a bite? Because then you have her and can lock the door if you want.

I had a professor in nursing school that would always give us chocolates during our exams. It was sweet.

 

[sweepthefloor]

It didn’t take long to learn where the creaks in the floor are. My steps naturally avoid the noise. The nails that stick up never get hammered down, I just remember to tip-toe around them. This is done so quietly, I wonder if I even exist as I float above the surface of this life.

 

[satindesire]

I had a professor in nursing school that would always give us chocolates during our exams. It was sweet.

Aw.

What a nice lady.

 

[jomar]

I thought I heard a whisper. Then I had a dream about lunch.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Aw.

What a nice lady.

Yeah, she was one of the best.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I thought I heard a whisper. Then I had a dream about lunch.

I whispered: My super soaker eyes removed last nights make-up. My cherry blossom shampoo removes the lingering scent of rusty well water.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I'm forwarding all calls to my whisper-ma phone.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I woke up from a sleep that I didn't sleep. Somebody painted my nails black.
He told me to suck it, and I said no.
He tried to stick it in me. We struggled for a little bit and he didn't rape me.
I am so confused.