Things That Make You Uncomfortable....But Also Turn You On

[submissa]

A couple weeks ago, I was in a session with my domme and another sub whom I'll call J. I was dominant over J but of course sub to my domme. At one point, my domme was like "submissa has a confession for us, don't you submissa" and then I had to tell J this one rather embarrassing piece of information. I was MORTIFIED... and also turned on. And so was J... and I suspect, so was my domme.

 

[sallysparrow23]

Being slapped across the face. And bukkake.

 

[dreamysub]

Being slapped across the face. And bukkake.

Same here.

Look someone in the eyes would be another for me.

 

[Older_Pervert]

There are parts of this I feel so deeply.

I haven't had sex, held hands, been touched, kissed in more years than I care to think about, but needless to say it's been double digit years. A broken kink heart, broken trust, physical issues, health issues, weight issues, deep depression, a cold marriage.

I didn't want anything to do with intimacy or sex. But this year, it's started coming back, in a really big way. But there's this feeling of having lost something, some part of myself... I call it fuckability. I don't feel fuckable. I don't feel desirable and it's more than just physical, it's emotional, mental. Lit has helped some. I can get in better physical health, I can change the shape and size of my body, but fixing the emotional and mental side of things... That's harder.
And until the first couple of times, I think I'll worry about the physical, too. I see some of the women who post pictures here on Lit and the comparisonitis takes over... And I begin to hide all of me again. I'm not thin, I'm not young, my tits hang low, etc...
Of course, get me a blindfold, some rope, a gag, and take off your belt... I may not care that even I don't measure up in my own head.

I think I lost where I was going with this, but getting this out, in some form of anonymity, helps me to see it all in black and white. It's both scary and maybe a little freeing.

I don’t know about you having “body issues “ but you do have great tits!

 

[sallysparrow23]

Same here.

Look someone in the eyes would be another for me.

I am the opposite - being blindfolded would make me uncomfortable but also heighten every other sense.

 

[dreamysub]

I am the opposite - being blindfolded would make me uncomfortable but also heighten every other sense.

I love being blindfolded.

 

[base10]

Giving someone just a little bit too much pain

 

[hotwords229_A]

Can’t get the pic to load. Never mind!

 

[Swuck]

It unnerving to make eye contact with a dominate top as he has finished lining my hole and he is about to penetrate me. His eyes and facial expression tells me he is about fuck me the way he wants.

 

[DaleDucati]

anal only / anal gaping

being micromanaged

Love that plug

 

[DaleDucati]

these are perfect

Yes they are

 

[AlwaysDancing]

When L watched me masturbate up completion and then scoop my sperm and push it up her very fertile pussy.

 

[DaleDucati]

<gulp>

 

[oneguy4fun]

It really embarrasses me that I get so turned on when my wife makes me wear sissy panties. I am not a sissy at all but being forced to wear sissy panties always arouses me and I get an erection almost immediately when I put them on. It does not help that they are super silky and feel really good.

My wife bought several different pairs and has me wear them for different occasions such as doing chores or wearing under my clothes when going grocery shopping. I would be mortified if my friends or family found out but at the same time i get so aroused from it. When she watches me put them on I get embarrassed that I get an erection from wearing them and they make m feel super submissive.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

being humiliated and degraded is really conflicting.

 

[base10]

being humiliated and degraded is really conflicting.

Exactly what it’s supposed to be

 

[cascadiabound]

I was reading an author's thread here about shame and humiliation and was overall a bit surprised at the (lack of) range of comments on it. So many focused on SPH and struggles to understand the difference between *feeling* shamed and *being* shamed; the difference between being humbled, being humiliated, and feeling humiliated.
As always, context matters. If the shame/humiliation is within a consent framework with a person you trust (especially in a non public setting), it is the opposite end of the spectrum from having someone you do not have consenting intimacy with, expose something about you, or deliberately humiliated you for their own gratification or out of simple spite or meanness without any concern for what that does to a person or with actual intent to harm.

Anyway... I didn't end up commenting on that thread, but it did bring up all of my twisty feelings about the connection between submission, exposure, humiliation etc. I would be spitting mad if someone deliberately tried to humiliate me even in a completely non sexual context (kinda obvious, right?), but in a consenting D/s situation it's a completely different matter.

And yes - it's one of those things that is deeply arousing and also intellectually confounding. I'm not particularly shy or modest, but getting my submissiveness pushed around exposure of my subby nature (the bare hint of a tail peeking out beneath my skirt while doing errands, wearing bands around my nipples so they stand out through my shirt etc), or having to say out loud the wicked nasty things I want definitely creates a humiliation/arousal feedback loop. Risk of exposure is definitely part of it, but not a requirement for the effect. And there is as much just plain head game element as it is physicality. Having to admit that I am his little slut/whore/nasty subby girl out loud as he molests me, restrains me, denies me etc creates an element of arousal that magnifies any direct physical response.

Yep... definitely uncomfortable... but definitely want all of it - humiliation connects to my submission and it freaks me out a little how much I crave and want it.

 

[cascadiabound]

I was reading an author's thread here about shame and humiliation and was overall a bit surprised at the (lack of) range of comments on it. So many focused on SPH and struggles to understand the difference between *feeling* shamed and *being* shamed; the difference between being humbled, being humiliated, and feeling humiliated.
As always, context matters. If the shame/humiliation is within a consent framework with a person you trust (especially in a non public setting), it is the opposite end of the spectrum from having someone you do not have consenting intimacy with, expose something about you, or deliberately humiliated you for their own gratification or out of simple spite or meanness without any concern for what that does to a person or with actual intent to harm.

Anyway... I didn't end up commenting on that thread, but it did bring up all of my twisty feelings about the connection between submission, exposure, humiliation etc. I would be spitting mad if someone deliberately tried to humiliate me even in a completely non sexual context (kinda obvious, right?), but in a consenting D/s situation it's a completely different matter.

And yes - it's one of those things that is deeply arousing and also intellectually confounding. I'm not particularly shy or modest, but getting my submissiveness pushed around exposure of my subby nature (the bare hint of a tail peeking out beneath my skirt while doing errands, wearing bands around my nipples so they stand out through my shirt etc), or having to say out loud the wicked nasty things I want definitely creates a humiliation/arousal feedback loop. Risk of exposure is definitely part of it, but not a requirement for the effect. And there is as much just plain head game element as it is physicality. Having to admit that I am his little slut/whore/nasty subby girl out loud as he molests me, restrains me, denies me etc creates an element of arousal that magnifies any direct physical response.

Yep... definitely uncomfortable... but definitely want all of it - humiliation connects to my submission and it freaks me out a little how much I crave and want it.

This!
Pushes my humiliation fetish... she's essentially naked, collared, and the way he's grasping her pony tail for the pic he is showing his ownership and complete control of her.
Her nipples are erect and she is in a submissive kneel while still wearing beautiful high heels. Her mouth is soft and submissive even as she looks boldly at the camera. Is there a lock on her collar? I'm not sure.

Is this the beginning of many photos he will take? And what might he do with those images? The idea of having my submission be photo documented definitely gets into my humiliation head space. And the room - an upper floor with lots of windows. So much opportunity for exposure or perceived exposure. That is a head game that cranks me up into subby head space too. And of course the CMnf dynamic is hot af. Which is another element of submissive humiliation. He's fully clothed, she's not. Her complete exposure of skin while he remains clothed heightens the power dynamic and is a overt sign of control. He has complete access and control of her (yes that sparks on the humiliation spectrum) while she has no access to him.
It plays into all of my CMnf fantasies of being displayed. Of being the only naked person in a room of men - maybe serving drinks, maybe simply being displayed and spoken about, not to. Yikes... way uncomfortable- super arousing.

 

[LustyScribe]

I was reading an author's thread here about shame and humiliation and was overall a bit surprised at the (lack of) range of comments on it. So many focused on SPH and struggles to understand the difference between *feeling* shamed and *being* shamed; the difference between being humbled, being humiliated, and feeling humiliated.
As always, context matters. If the shame/humiliation is within a consent framework with a person you trust (especially in a non public setting), it is the opposite end of the spectrum from having someone you do not have consenting intimacy with, expose something about you, or deliberately humiliated you for their own gratification or out of simple spite or meanness without any concern for what that does to a person or with actual intent to harm.

Anyway... I didn't end up commenting on that thread, but it did bring up all of my twisty feelings about the connection between submission, exposure, humiliation etc. I would be spitting mad if someone deliberately tried to humiliate me even in a completely non sexual context (kinda obvious, right?), but in a consenting D/s situation it's a completely different matter.

And yes - it's one of those things that is deeply arousing and also intellectually confounding. I'm not particularly shy or modest, but getting my submissiveness pushed around exposure of my subby nature (the bare hint of a tail peeking out beneath my skirt while doing errands, wearing bands around my nipples so they stand out through my shirt etc), or having to say out loud the wicked nasty things I want definitely creates a humiliation/arousal feedback loop. Risk of exposure is definitely part of it, but not a requirement for the effect. And there is as much just plain head game element as it is physicality. Having to admit that I am his little slut/whore/nasty subby girl out loud as he molests me, restrains me, denies me etc creates an element of arousal that magnifies any direct physical response.

Yep... definitely uncomfortable... but definitely want all of it - humiliation connects to my submission and it freaks me out a little how much I crave and want it.

Wow. Straight from the darker corners of my mind, cascadia. I've struggled with how this concept...reaches me. It's disturbing to me, because it does not align with who I am on the outside. Like you, I'd not respond kindly to an outsider trying to inflict humiliation ON me. In my younger days, it would likely escalate to violence.
But within the context of consensual exploration with an invested partner...

 

[cascadiabound]

Wow. Straight from the darker corners of my mind, cascadia. I've struggled with how this concept...reaches me. It's disturbing to me, because it does not align with who I am on the outside. Like you, I'd not respond kindly to an outsider trying to inflict humiliation ON me. In my younger days, it would likely escalate to violence.
But within the context of consensual exploration with an invested partner...

"consensual exploration with an invested partner"
Exactly.
And aftercare that soothes all the negative possible impacts of that shame/humiliation-
being told I am a good girl, beautiful, gorgeous, his perfect girl, has the effect of wrapping the whole thing in a loving D/s bow.

 

[LustyScribe]

"consensual exploration with an invested partner"
Exactly.
And aftercare that soothes all the negative possible impacts of that shame/humiliation-
being told I am a good girl, beautiful, gorgeous, his perfect girl, has the effect of wrapping the whole thing in a loving D/s bow.

For me, as a male, it would entail the affirmation of my validity as a man. Men are often, in more than a few ways, much more fragile in terms of our egos than women. But with the right person, so worth it...

 

[cascadiabound]

For me, as a male, it would entail the affirmation of my validity as a man. Men are often, in more than a few ways, much more fragile in terms of our egos than women. But with the right person, so worth it...

Aftercare takes different forms depending on the person. Societal norms associated with gender would shape what aftercare looks like too, I would think

 

[Dreamliner]

Trust and communication, you can never have enough in a D/s relationship. They provide the confidence to push boundaries, explore, but always together.

 

[cascadiabound]

Here's another image that makes me uncomfortable, but also deeply curious about exactly what is going on here... and that rabbit hole drags me into being surprised to find there is an arousal factor.
I would describe myself as religious (not Catholic) but not currently connected to any faith community. So... the imagery of sacred space is powerful for me, in spite of not personally ever gone to confession.
Then... she's kneeling (which I think is common for many confession practices), but exposed. Confession is a private matter... so just having the door open is hitting on taboo. Add to that she has her pants down... what is she saying? What are her "sins"? What kind of control does her confessor have over her? Does she have a priest fetish?
In any case... in spite of layers of taboo associated with this image, my imagination runs into a range of scenarios that make me want to be her. Yep... weirdly sexy/hot/uncomfortable/submissive/mind control/religious fetishism.
And that all feels like a confession

 

[Purple_Fronds]

View attachment 2372772
This!
Pushes my humiliation fetish... she's essentially naked, collared, and the way he's grasping her pony tail for the pic he is showing his ownership and complete control of her.
Her nipples are erect and she is in a submissive kneel while still wearing beautiful high heels. Her mouth is soft and submissive even as she looks boldly at the camera. Is there a lock on her collar? I'm not sure.

Is this the beginning of many photos he will take? And what might he do with those images? The idea of having my submission be photo documented definitely gets into my humiliation head space. And the room - an upper floor with lots of windows. So much opportunity for exposure or perceived exposure. That is a head game that cranks me up into subby head space too. And of course the CMnf dynamic is hot af. Which is another element of submissive humiliation. He's fully clothed, she's not. Her complete exposure of skin while he remains clothed heightens the power dynamic and is a overt sign of control. He has complete access and control of her (yes that sparks on the humiliation spectrum) while she has no access to him.
It plays into all of my CMnf fantasies of being displayed. Of being the only naked person in a room of men - maybe serving drinks, maybe simply being displayed and spoken about, not to. Yikes... way uncomfortable- super arousing.

You explain it so well.


This was a recent highlight.

In the hotel room, her naked, with just her collar, pushed up against the floor to ceiling window, her tits squashed against the glass, her hands locked behind her head, she’s so obedient ensuring her nose stays firmly on the pane. I’m in my business attire, giving her body the flogging she craves. Wondering how many people from the condos opposite are enjoying her submission. This was after I led her out onto the balcony, with just her leash. She was incredibly wet.