Thinking aloud: How I lose you between chapters

[RetroFan]

Write it and find out...

I ended up writing and posting the first chapter of this story idea about the Mandela Effect - Incest In Another Dimension - the other day. It was a 10 page first chapter, with smaller chapters to follow in coming months.

The IT readers though haven't seemed to have really gone for the story, it has only about 5000 views since it was posted mid-week, few votes and a low score, 2 comments 1 positive and the other mostly negative.

Maybe they aren't too keen on other-worldly or sci-fi and fantasy in this category? Another story I wrote in this category last year - Bigfoot In the Bennington Triangle - also sank without trace. One I wrote a few years ago about stepsiblings in a haunted house did okay scores wise, but didn't have high views. And while a body swap story series I wrote in 2019 was hated by readers, at least it got some attention if mainly all negative.

It's strange how some people are obsessed by tentacle monsters and the like, but erotic horror, science fiction and fantasy stories even if they have a real world setting like all of mine, don't seem to attract much interest.

 

[NuclearFairy]

It's strange how some people are obsessed by tentacle monsters and the like, but erotic horror, science fiction and fantasy stories even if they have a real world setting like all of mine, don't seem to attract much interest.

Tentacle monster stories also don't tend to be multi-chaptered stories, but they don't always go off very well either.

Like mine, it's got the most views of all my stories, and the most votes, but it's the only story I have with over ten votes that doesn't have a red H. Something about it just doesn't sit well with the tentacle monster lovers. It might be the fact that the tentacle monster get's eaten in the end, or the victim isn't traumatized or left in a sex induced stupor, it might be that it starts off seeming like a third person perspective only to surprise you later with it actually being a first person.

I dunno, I think it probably has to do with the same thing the op was speculating on for their story, when people read a certain story their desires and expectations might be a bit narrow, and therefore things outside of those narrow parameters might not do as well.

Sounds like your stories might suffer from this as well. If so don't sweat it, the readers that like it will follow you so that they can more easily find the stories they love without it getting repetitive.

That's why I wrote The Parasite, I loved tentacle monster stories, but for once I wanted to read about the monster getting its comeuppance, I wanted to read about the girl being saved, I wanted to read about the girl not getting impregnated and being addicted to the tentacle monster and needing more. Even though I loved all those other stories, I wanted something different. And someday, I'll write an actual tentacle monster romance.

 

[RetroFan]

Tentacle monster stories also don't tend to be multi-chaptered stories, but they don't always go off very well either.

Like mine, it's got the most views of all my stories, and the most votes, but it's the only story I have with over ten votes that doesn't have a red H. Something about it just doesn't sit well with the tentacle monster lovers. It might be the fact that the tentacle monster get's eaten in the end, or the victim isn't traumatized or left in a sex induced stupor, it might be that it starts off seeming like a third person perspective only to surprise you later with it actually being a first person.

I dunno, I think it probably has to do with the same thing the op was speculating on for their story, when people read a certain story their desires and expectations might be a bit narrow, and therefore things outside of those narrow parameters might not do as well.

Sounds like your stories might suffer from this as well. If so don't sweat it, the readers that like it will follow you so that they can more easily find the stories they love without it getting repetitive.

That's why I wrote The Parasite, I loved tentacle monster stories, but for once I wanted to read about the monster getting its comeuppance, I wanted to read about the girl being saved, I wanted to read about the girl not getting impregnated and being addicted to the tentacle monster and needing more. Even though I loved all those other stories, I wanted something different. And someday, I'll write an actual tentacle monster romance.

I wrote a story once which had monsters with tentacles (aliens from the Jupiter moon Europa) as opposed to tentacle monsters, but tentacle monster fans wouldn't get much out of it. These aliens however were the antagonists of the story, they have an egg-larvae-pupae-adult lifecycle, and use their UFO to capture humans which they paralyze with a sting, then take back to Europa to feed to the grubs. These aliens do abduct three cheerleaders and their jock boyfriends, but to study sexual activity between humans, the aliens don't get into any sexual activity themselves and in fact cannot understand why humans have sex for pleasure rather than simply for reproduction.

Thanks for you comments - hopefully some people might like my story set in a strange parallel dimension where 9/11 never happened among many other odd differences with the real world.

 

[NuclearFairy]

I wrote a story once which had monsters with tentacles (aliens from the Jupiter moon Europa) as opposed to tentacle monsters, but tentacle monster fans wouldn't get much out of it. These aliens however were the antagonists of the story, they have an egg-larvae-pupae-adult lifecycle, and use their UFO to capture humans which they paralyze with a sting, then take back to Europa to feed to the grubs. These aliens do abduct three cheerleaders and their jock boyfriends, but to study sexual activity between humans, the aliens don't get into any sexual activity themselves and in fact cannot understand why humans have sex for pleasure rather than simply for reproduction.

Thanks for you comments - hopefully some people might like my story set in a strange parallel dimension where 9/11 never happened among many other odd differences with the real world.

Your right, doesn't sound like something most tentacle monster lovers would seek out, but it does sound interesting.

I'm sure some people will love it. Good luck!

 

[vanmyers86]

It just looks that way because there's no way to differentiate between views that represent people who read to the end and people who left on paragraph #2 in a single submission. Multiple chapters let you see this attrition. To some extent, really long ( in excess of 6 Lit pages ) single submissions demonstrate this as well. They typically have lower vote/favorite/comment numbers than a similar, shorter story, but end up with higher scores because only the people who are loving it reach the end to vote. It's the same attrition factor, but you don't get to see it broken down as you do when posting chapters.

I saw exactly this with the novel I published here. Readership went down with every chapter (leveling off after about Chapter 3 or so), but scores rose with every chapter. I was disappointed to watch readership drop off, but another writer consoled me with the fact that it's to be expected as your story finds its audience and so I should not take it as an indictment of my writing overall.

Looking back, I realize he was right. I doubt there's a series I've ever read here or in other genres that consistently enchanted me. I think it's just the way we're wired.

 

[RetroFan]

Your right, doesn't sound like something most tentacle monster lovers would seek out, but it does sound interesting.

I'm sure some people will love it. Good luck!

The story is called 'Cindy's Close Encounter' if you were interested in reading it. It is set in the 1950s - one of my favourite eras to write stories in - so if you felt like a trip back in time to these long-gone days it might also be something you would like.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

This is why I'm a thrill of the kill writer. Once that ice is broken, the conflict is resolved as the characters get together, anything after that in most stories is jkust continued fucking and the readers who will say "more, more more," just like they'll ordered the same coffee day after day.

This is exactly what it is, addiction. Addiction for both reader and writer.

With a kink-centric story (and most categories are simply kinks) just give the reader the same over and over. If it's bro/sis incest, don't get heavy on plot, just give hot bro/sis sex in each chapter. Feed the addiction.

For the writer, the addiction is the applause. They write a story, call it chapter 1 because they really hope that if they get good feedback they will turn it into a series. They get good feedback and so they are 'inspired' to continue, when really they are just looking to feed their addiction to applause. So they continue with a meandering bleh story that will still do well if they keep the kink up but will fall on its face if they try to ass-pull a plot that they have not prepared themselves (nor their characters) for.

With a plot-centric story the audience is different. If the writer is making it up chapter by chapter looking to feed their applause addiction, the plot will fizzle and the plot-centric readers will drop it. However, if the plot is all pre-planned and has a coherent shape it will do better. The issue with this is that the plot-centric crowd is much smaller than the kink-centric crowd, so the chances of pulling those huge numbers is smaller than feed the kink crowd their kink. Of course, the best way around all of this is to just write your entire story before you publish any of it. Then you know that you are giving a story to your readers that is complete and cohesive and that goes somewhere.

 

[tenyari]

Did you ever put out a series that started off popular and then declined? If so, what was your interpretation of what happened?

Both of my big series have been an inverse of the trend. One from about 18 years ago that was not on this site (the main character was 17), and my Alien girl stories that just have a few long parts.

In stories I read I find what causes a drop off in my own interest and I suspect that of others is one or both of two and a half factors:.

1. Theme shift. The author starts with a basic premise built around kink, and then gets too involved in some other plotline, world building, or just 'the story of a character's life. As a result the chapters stop being about the initial hook.
1a. Story Code inflation. Related to theme shift. Here the author introduces a new kind of kink or removes a kink that was the hook. I'm experiencing this in a story I liked from early this year that was a girl who insisted on living nude. It was kind of silly but light hearted. In the new chapter she's sodomized by the police for her lifestyle. A sudden turn into a very nasty 'rape' story code. I came to that story for a happy light hearted kink, the author felt it needed "realism". But if you want that, start with it. Don't shift to it. The same can happen in the opposite direction where a dark 'erotic horror story' turns happy and upbeat. Readers are coming to your stories often because they searched by kink with a category or story tag and landed there. They came to get something, and lose interest if you change what you're handing out.

2. Too many cast members. There are several extremely popular long many chapter stories on these sites that over time just add too many cast members. After a while the different characters all feel the same with one twist. "This is the blonde girl who's into blowjobs", "this is the blond girl who dislikes blowjobs", "this is the blonde girl who only gives blowjobs on Tuesdays." After a while nobody cares because we can't remember the difference between Cindy, Mindy, and Wendy... This is why I tune out of 'harem stories', but it affects a lot of other formats too when the chapters just keep adding another random name character who's either not that different or doesn't have a detailed arc because it's just 'character of the week number 37'.

Make a tight cast, pick a solid theme, and stick to it. When the creative well for that dries up, end it and move on.

 

[Djmac1031]

Just to chime in with what's been said, pretty much any series loses readers over time.

I wrote a three part Father / Daughter incest tale called Caring for Carrie.

Part one stands at
4.73 / 1.3k votes
90k views

Part 2:
4.77 / 601 votes
43k views

Part 3:
4.71 / 385 votes
22.4k views

Each chapter lost roughly half the audience.

And yet all three are very well rated and recieved.

Its just the nature of the beast.

And dont even get my started on my 30 Chapter series The Jenna Arrangement lol

 

[burgwad]

Both of my big series have been an inverse of the trend. One from about 18 years ago that was not on this site (the main character was 17), and my Alien girl stories that just have a few long parts.

In stories I read I find what causes a drop off in my own interest and I suspect that of others is one or both of two and a half factors:.

1. Theme shift. The author starts with a basic premise built around kink, and then gets too involved in some other plotline, world building, or just 'the story of a character's life. As a result the chapters stop being about the initial hook.
1a. Story Code inflation. Related to theme shift. Here the author introduces a new kind of kink or removes a kink that was the hook. I'm experiencing this in a story I liked from early this year that was a girl who insisted on living nude. It was kind of silly but light hearted. In the new chapter she's sodomized by the police for her lifestyle. A sudden turn into a very nasty 'rape' story code. I came to that story for a happy light hearted kink, the author felt it needed "realism". But if you want that, start with it. Don't shift to it. The same can happen in the opposite direction where a dark 'erotic horror story' turns happy and upbeat. Readers are coming to your stories often because they searched by kink with a category or story tag and landed there. They came to get something, and lose interest if you change what you're handing out.

2. Too many cast members. There are several extremely popular long many chapter stories on these sites that over time just add too many cast members. After a while the different characters all feel the same with one twist. "This is the blonde girl who's into blowjobs", "this is the blond girl who dislikes blowjobs", "this is the blonde girl who only gives blowjobs on Tuesdays." After a while nobody cares because we can't remember the difference between Cindy, Mindy, and Wendy... This is why I tune out of 'harem stories', but it affects a lot of other formats too when the chapters just keep adding another random name character who's either not that different or doesn't have a detailed arc because it's just 'character of the week number 37'.

Make a tight cast, pick a solid theme, and stick to it. When the creative well for that dries up, end it and move on.

Great response, thank you! I'm still new to erotica, so I'm learning what does and doesn't work.

Going by your framework, I commit sins both 1a and 2 with Chapter 3 of Back to Normal. I introduce a few new characters too many. Especially unwelcome are Michelle and Blaze, a crass, abrasive couple who don't mesh well with the tone of the story.

Just to chime in with what's been said, pretty much any series loses readers over time.

I wrote a three part Father / Daughter incest tale called Caring for Carrie.

Part one stands at
4.73 / 1.3k votes
90k views

Part 2:
4.77 / 601 votes
43k views

Part 3:
4.71 / 385 votes
22.4k views

Each chapter lost roughly half the audience.

And yet all three are very well rated and recieved.

Its just the nature of the beast.

And dont even get my started on my 30 Chapter series The Jenna Arrangement lol

Good GOD those ratings, though. Way to go, man.

 

[tenyari]

Great response, thank you! I'm still new to erotica, so I'm learning what does and doesn't work.

Going by your framework, I commit sins both 1a and 2 with Chapter 3 of Back to Normal. I introduce a few new characters too many. Especially unwelcome are Michelle and Blaze, a crass, abrasive couple who don't mesh well with the tone of the story.

Genre and tone shifts can work in some circumstances. But it needs build up and needs to 'fit' with whatever reasons your readers came there for.

Its true that Harry Potter in book one is a different kind of fantasy than in the last book, and Lord of the Rings is not the same 'genre' as The Hobbit. But these things happened over time and circumstance both within and without the novels.

Sudden tone shifts, sudden genre shifts, are often referred to as 'jump the shark' moments. Moments where the story is no longer what people came to it for. A reference that spelled the spiral down moment for the 1970s TV Show Happy Days when the 'event that week' was for a main cast member to jump over a shark on water skies... something just seemed to have nothing to do with the normal tone and theme of the show up to that point.

Cast creep stories suffer because readers don't know who to become attached to, who's story matters. And after a while characters blend together and aren't distinct enough. If you have two characters that are way too similar - unless you're making a point of that fact like the old Bob Newhart 'cousin Daryll' comedy sketch (a whole pile of cousins all named Daryll) cut it down to one.

Once I feel I'm losing touch with one 'major cast character' I start to lose tough with all of them.