This Board use to have a Warmth

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: This Board use to have a Warmth

Warmth? Warmth like this?




Just one short example of the lack of warmth shown on numerous occasions by the self-proclaimed founder of this forum.

More and more, as time went by, cymbidia struck out at posters here in a vehemently, judgemental tone. She seemed to believe that she alone had the righteousness to control who could speak about what and why. She continually questioned the validity of posters' BDSM worth, making comparisons to her own rigid beliefs, discounting anyone who differed. She was mean-spirited and monotonous, attacking anyone she perceived to threaten her epiphanies, controlling and wordy.

But what made this forum even more unwelcoming to participate in, for lurkers who didn't dare intercede in the conversations, is that following cymbidia's frequent outbursts, there would be supporters who excused her behavior as acceptable. Instead of chastizing her for her "snarky" comments, she was encouraged by the applause supporting her right to stand up on her high horse and bellow down at the peons.

__________________________
well everyone IS entitled to their opinions .. unfortunately for SOME reason people here dont like that philosophy * *sigh*

 

[SierraMoon]

Ok, here goes.. i'm one of the people on here that tries to get along with everyone... if i feel that i cannot get along with them, i keep my mouth shut.... NO MORE!!!!
i came to the BDSM forum last March to read, learn, and hopefully incorporate some of my thoughts and views into this forum. The forum to me has come to mean a great deal, as this is where i have built alot of new friendships, and hopefully lasting ones...

If i were a newbie... right now i would be afraid to post a single word, as it seems that the only thing important here, is to tear apart people's words, and give them shit for it.

Yes, i am a friend of cym's.. and yes, i will stay that for as long as she allows it. She is a wonderful woman with so much to share with all of you, and you can't see the knowledge that she brings here, because you are so busy analyzing every little thing that she says. Now that she's gone, who are you going to pick on?? i'm sure you will find your next victim very soon... is it going to be me, or Zip, or Astrid, or Risia or any of the other people here who saw cym for the real person that she was?? A HUMAN being with faults just like the rest of us, but that brought SOOOOO much to our discussions here!!! i'm hoping that all of you.. ( and you know who you are) are very happy and content with yourselves for just throwing away one of the best things that ever happened to this forum.

 

[zipman]

The center ring of the circus grows ever larger as the days pass...'tis where the lights are focused for most...flame wars and cotton candy fluff...

There is little heat generating warmth among the masses...and it gets cold...

It is basically a porn site that draws all walks...some real, some fake...and it's always the fake and uncaring and game masters that rule...it doesn't just happen on this board...i know people all over the boards that are leaving, people that want to be here, that want to meet others, make friends, but just don't have the grade school mentality to compete...

Can the fire be started again for those that truly wish to learn and grow, to be here, to make connections...choking out the rotten that invade and take over?

If so, here's a match...though i figure that i'll burn my fingers before anyone adds their own warmth and passion...

belle

Great post Spankablebelle!!

I am more than willing to add my warmth, my passion, my open-mindedness and my acceptance to you in your quest.

 

[SierraMoon]

The center ring of the circus grows ever larger as the days pass...'tis where the lights are focused for most...flame wars and cotton candy fluff...

There is little heat generating warmth among the masses...and it gets cold...

It is basically a porn site that draws all walks...some real, some fake...and it's always the fake and uncaring and game masters that rule...it doesn't just happen on this board...i know people all over the boards that are leaving, people that want to be here, that want to meet others, make friends, but just don't have the grade school mentality to compete...

Can the fire be started again for those that truly wish to learn and grow, to be here, to make connections...choking out the rotten that invade and take over?

If so, here's a match...though i figure that i'll burn my fingers before anyone adds their own warmth and passion...

belle

Belle, having said my peace on this... i am willing to start anew, and hopefully help to build this board to what it used to be... somewhere that people can feel welcome here, as it was when i first came here. We, as a forum, need to squash all the termites that are trying to eat away at the foundation that this forum was built upon.
r.

 

[PlayDoe]

For SierraMoon

Feel the Force Luke, don't give in to the Darkside! Everytime you (or I) respond to this kind of thread, we legitimize everything that's not good about this place. Look for me in the lighter threads. That's where you'll find me. I ain't comin back here!


- ObiwanPlayDobie

 

[SierraMoon]

Re: For SierraMoon

Feel the Force Luke, don't give in to the Darkside! Everytime you (or I) respond to this kind of thread, we legitimize everything that's not good about this place. Look for me in the lighter threads. That's where you'll find me. I ain't comin back here!


- ObiwanPlayDobie

ObiwanPlayDobie.... first of all... LMAO!!
Secondly.. i, in the past, have not posted to threads that will "legitimize" the bad stuff here.. but you know what?? It has been boiling inside me since August, and i felt the need to let it out. Now that it is out, i'm done...and on to better things...

 

[redelicious]

Maybe it's because I am new?

Maybe I am niave?

Hell, maybe I am just stupid?

I can't tell who is real and who is not. Who am I to judge anyway?

Maybe I am not real? Maybe when all is said and done this exploration of mine will have been nothing more than a failed experiment.

Does that mean I have no business being here?

I am not trying to fan flames or make light of the situation - but I do wonder if I have so many doubts and questions would it just be better if I walked away?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Re: reading the writing on the big ole wall, then saying some stuff.

Originally posted by Astrid

I'm still not sure why people are feeling that just because cym says what she feels -that all the moderators are being treated as if they are falling down on the "job" by not being nicer to the new folks.
I see RS lumped into this category constantly, yet I'm trying to recall her saying anything truly caustic to anyone that I've read.

Yes, I agree. Risia, cym and James all have very different voices in this forum.

Now I'm just speculating here, but if cym had said this to Ruby on the general board, Ruby would have gotten mad at the quips made, but cym wouldn't be attacked because she isn't moderating properly. Ruby would just be mad at her friend for calling her a consistent man-meat hunting kind of girl.

You are right in that I am not generally a person who is in the middle of controversy.

However, you are over-simplifying if you think this is only about the words that cym spoke to me. It's not what she said, but why she said it. Yes, at first I was upset about the words. They stung because they came from somebody I had considered a close acquaintance, and one of a handful of people that I've met from Literotica in person.

In my life experience, I can have disagreements with my friends and have rational discussion without fear of personal attacks. I made the mistake of thinking that would happen with cym as well.

I brought up the BDSM chat thread in the Playground because I'd just heard about it, and found it ludicrous that members of this community who wanted to flirt, had to go do it behind closed doors.

 

[PlayDoe]

You're right, sometimes you need to get things of your chest.

Now that you're feeling better and we're on the subject of chests, would it be out of line for me to ask to see yours?

Just Joking (not).

 

[Lancecastor]

You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out...

Cym picks up her ball and goes home in a grande-mal snivel every month or so.

The only common denominator to those events is.....Cym.

You do the math, gang.

She'll be back in another few weeks....yayati-esque.

But first you all need to:

1. Pick a sacrificial lamb to roast

2. Start 5 or 6 "We Miss You Cym" threads

3. Prepare to *Hug* her warmly upon her return

4. Repeat.

Where do they keep the barf-bags around here, anyway?

 

[MissTaken]

It appears that Lance needs a hug thread....

Is anyone game?


*passing the barf bags your way!*

 

[MissTaken]

Maybe it's because I am new?

Maybe I am niave?

Hell, maybe I am just stupid?

I can't tell who is real and who is not. Who am I to judge anyway?

Maybe I am not real? Maybe when all is said and done this exploration of mine will have been nothing more than a failed experiment.

Does that mean I have no business being here?

I am not trying to fan flames or make light of the situation - but I do wonder if I have so many doubts and questions would it just be better if I walked away?

Keep posting , red.

This is by far the safest and most informative place I have found on the net to answer your questions.

Real? Not real?

If a tree falls in the forest...........

You are welcome here and ignore the flack and the closed minded logic that makes some tick.

 

[redelicious]

Keep posting , red.

This is by far the safest and most informative place I have found on the net to answer your questions.

Real? Not real?

If a tree falls in the forest...........

You are welcome here and ignore the flack and the closed minded logic that makes some tick.

Thank you MissT

I was planning on it.

 

[Persephone36]

On the positive...

I've felt always welcomed here and I'm a newbie of this board.

I'm glad I came in when I did. It was during a hard time for this board in August.

MissT was the first one who made me feel that is was important to support this board -- but hell, she was one of the first one's that made me feel welcome on the gb -- for no reason other than to be pleasant. So did cym, completely coincedently or even accidently. And at that time -- I wasn't even beginning to think about D/s relationships. They were both, with others, just being pleasant and welcoming. Since them, I've "known" and actually really known a number of others. On the whole, I find this place what you make of it. It happens I don't have an axe to grind with anyone. Never felt attacked. Challenged perhaps -- but never nasty jabs.

I just continue on being myself -- and I happen to enjoy feeling part of positive energy. That's my thing.

I do find blanket statements like -- "All the warmth has gone" -- sort of demoralizing to those who have and do continue to have warmth on this board. Supportive natures -- whether emotionally, experience wise, or intellectually -- or a combination.

I do understand the frustration and disappointment it comes out of though. I just chose not to take it personally here.

You remember when I came on here MissT? Still the same person, no changes, right there with you.

Perse

 

[Sandia]

Re: Inconceivable!

Rick has spent too much time on the GB, methinks, where full sentences and kind words are rare commodities.

Plus, he likes a good scrap, methinks.

Well and nicely put, Gem.

Lance

You're wrong, Lance. The only reason you had a hostile reception there was that the hostilities here followed you out. In general, the GB is calmer and friendlier than the BDSM.

If Laurel wants to tell someone they are tiny dork covered in...blah blah.. she can.

Interestingly, I've never heard Laurel do this. In fact, she's a model of intelligence and moderation.

Why does cym's mod status keep coming up?

You're right; the mods are just like everybody else. They have no authority here. They should be treated no differently than any one else.

She may be gone but I'd like her to know that a lot of us saw her for the amazing woman she truly is.

Cym is an amazing woman. She's smart, articulate, and she cares deeply about her friends. She may be gone, and she may be back (I hope so) but anyone who dishes it out as well as she can needs to learn to take it too.

This Board use to have a Warmth
It appears to have vanished along with the proliferation of no talent pretend assholes who claim more than they can deliver.

It's a slight shame.

I’ll enjoy the progress, it's fun.

So, Rick, who are the "no talent pretend assholes?"

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Inconceivable!

Rick has spent too much time on the GB, methinks, where full sentences and kind words are rare commodities.

Plus, he likes a good scrap, methinks.

Well and nicely put, Gem.

Lance

Yeah... he must have heard about the new master and had to come try his hand against him.

PBW

 

[artful]

Shadows

A vast wealth of knowledge that will not easily be replaced nor so vulnerably given. Nothing would please Me more than to hear her voice in every conversation I invoke.
No one is right all the time but experience lived and shared gives valuable information to take in or dismiss. It goes beyond what might be one day, or could be in fantasy. It is the bases for a future in real time and long term friendships with like minded kinksters.

I agree with what you have stated. The problems on this Forum are much the same of any other Forum or thread. As I have stated elsewhere,...truly it is not anything other than, WE posters, taking sides.

It is not a matter of being right or wrong,...it's a matter of NUMBERS. Whichever side of the fence has the most numbers, does indeed *stifle* the other side.

For the life of me,...I don't understand why people FEEL they need to "jump in", and support a persons opinions or actions against another. I have never wanted anyone to validate my posts, my opinions, or actions.

Why is it that people feel they NEED to defend another here in this Forum? Why do people take sides on such PERSONAL things as name calling, caustic and abusive remarks?

How can they even say,..."What YOU need to do is,...blah, blah, blah."? What is the PURPOSE of it? What is achieved? Why even respond to it in the first place?

For the record,...I have never seen you or MsWorthy involved in such things. It IS a credit to both of you. Each of us are susceptable to making an errant post. To misinterpret a TEXT message, its intent or meaning.

The problem is MAGNIFIED, out of proportion, when OTHERS start explaining and or defending something that is NOT clearly understood.

EXAMPLE:
"Well,...I don't think,(insert name here), they meant,...etc., etc., etc.-OR-"Well,...I think what, (insert name here), REALLY meant was,... etc., etc., etc."

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Shadows

For the life of me,...I don't understand why people FEEL they need to "jump in", and support a persons opinions or actions against another. I have never wanted anyone to validate my posts, my opinions, or actions.

Why is it that people feel they NEED to defend another here in this Forum? Why do people take sides on such PERSONAL things as name calling, caustic and abusive remarks?
(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.

Well said. There is nothing left to say after this post except AMEN.

Rose

 

[Astrid]

Interestingly, I've never heard Laurel do this. In fact, she's a model of intelligence and moderation.

Well, yeah. She is obviously awesome at what she does. Anyone who is considering being a moderator would never do poorly using her as an example on how to play with others in a considerate and socially accepted mannor.

Regarding cym's recent absence:
I really don't see cym as picking up her toys and leaving the sandbox in a huff. People should take a break if they get emotional over topics of conversation on a bulletin board.

Some might need those breaks more than others, and bless those who recognize it within themselves.

For some reason I've yet to come across the place she says we aren't allowed to flirt and banter with each other.

In the rules, I see them stating that they prefer this forum not turn into those kind we all know too well.

I see them trying to keep the place a place for serious discussion about the lifestyle. She may disagree with "virtual collaring" but I've never see her force anyone to stop talking about it, just as anyone else with a differing opinion.

(okay, so I read a lot)

Personally, I think telling anyone else what kind of power exchange they tend to gravitate within themselves is wrong to discuss here; is like telling someone that they don't belong on the GB because they don't do oral.

Opinions do exist though, so if you throw yours out here; expect to hear many differing voices.

And when/if she comes back..she will be simply be a knowledgable 'voice' many will be happy to 'hear' again.

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Inconceivable!

I hear his BDSM Kung-Fu is werry werry strong.

Yeah... he must have heard about the new master and had to come try his hand against him.

PBW

 

[Lancecastor]

Re: Re: Inconceivable!

You're wrong, Lance. The only reason you had a hostile reception there was that the hostilities here followed you out. In general, the GB is calmer and friendlier than the BDSM.

Upon reflection, you are right about my being wrong, Sandia. I got bush-whacked over there a few times by Never & KillerMuffin but in fairness to the GB, it didn't last all that long and, as you know, both Never and KM have Strong White Kung-Fu most of the time.

"Calmer & Friendlier" might be an overstatement , but not enough to argue about.

Lance

 

[Rick DeVille]

Re: Inconceivable!

Rick has spent too much time on the GB, methinks, where full sentences and kind words are rare commodities.

Plus, he likes a good scrap, methinks.

Well and nicely put, Gem.

Lance

You are amusing, I might keep you