Thoughts On Submission...What Is It Really?

[catalina_francisco]

KC, you said it much more clearly than I could have. But that is the bottom line for me. My natural submissive tendencies have nothing to do with displaying my submission to him - as in the example of serving him first. I do that automatically to everyone, so I don't see that as an outward display of submission. There is a difference between being a submissive personality in general and submitting to one person. And I think that's the point of Cat's OP. At least, that's how I read it. I think you hit it perfectly.

Yep, that was my point with the added part of is it a submissives place to decide what is being submissive without any indication or input from their Dominant, or deciding what they need, want, expect, also without any indication or input. Those latter points were some of the most difficult to come to terms with in the early days because I felt he should be grateful I even chose to do things he might/did enjoy and that he could at least show his gratitude instead of asking me if he had asked for me to do xyz. His point was not to belittle me or minimise my desire to please, but to set a firm foundation it was not my place to make those decisions for him or to feel I was doing anything more than a submissive should be doing in serving the needs of the Dominant in the way the Dominant indicates or wants them to.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/134/376824463_35ca304946_t.jpg Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

Clarify for me Catalina, but did you negotiate your position in your relationship with F?

I've always understood that there are no negotiations in a Master/slave relationship.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Clarify for me Catalina, but did you negotiate your position in your relationship with F?

I've always understood that there are no negotiations in a Master/slave relationship.

LOL, no negotiations once it was going to become TPE M/s....it was then up to him what happened from there on.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/186/376675788_f2e2be5814_t.jpg Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

LOL, no negotiations once it was going to become TPE M/s....it was then up to him what happened from there on.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/186/376675788_f2e2be5814_t.jpg Catalina

Thanks, that's kinda what I thought. I have several friends who are slaves and I'd never heard anything about negotiations inside a relationship. In fact, just the opposite.

It's a choice that people make and some of us are cut out for that and some aren't. There are lots of people who aren't cut out to do my job, but that doesn't make them less worthwhile as human beings.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Thanks, that's kinda what I thought. I have several friends who are slaves and I'd never heard anything about negotiations inside a relationship. In fact, just the opposite.

It's a choice that people make and some of us are cut out for that and some aren't. There are lots of people who aren't cut out to do my job, but that doesn't make them less worthwhile as human beings.

i am one of those who are not cut out to do your job..props to you, seriously because it takes a special person. i'm also one of those not cut out to be a TPE slave, not in the way TPE is defined here, anyway, BUT i think it all depends on the people within the relationship and TPE means something different to everyone, so i'm learning *smiles* i don't think in any relationship there would be NO negotiations within the relationship it falls back to what is right for the people involved. but as i said, the TPE that is described on this thread/or board i just am not cut out for. and i think alot of the confusion and difference of opinions on this subject (what is submission) come from the fact that everyone has a different POV of what it means to them. KC's post really hit home for me i found myself nodding as i was reading the whole thing *smiles* anyway, i'm done rambling, just wanted to add my 2 cents again

 

[Netzach]

Yep, that was my point with the added part of is it a submissives place to decide what is being submissive without any indication or input from their Dominant, or deciding what they need, want, expect, also without any indication or input. Those latter points were some of the most difficult to come to terms with in the early days because I felt he should be grateful I even chose to do things he might/did enjoy and that he could at least show his gratitude instead of asking me if he had asked for me to do xyz. His point was not to belittle me or minimise my desire to please, but to set a firm foundation it was not my place to make those decisions for him or to feel I was doing anything more than a submissive should be doing in serving the needs of the Dominant in the way the Dominant indicates or wants them to.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/134/376824463_35ca304946_t.jpg Catalina

Yeah, I now tend to enforce that H thank ME after doing something especially unsavory.

 

[babiesmiles]

Thanks, babiesmiles, and oh my.... that's lovely.

Thank you JM

 

[catalina_francisco]

Still didn't find the thread I was looking for, but some may enjoy and wish to add to this discussion from long ago.

Catalina