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Tihmmnmmish's Cuddle-Friendly Fireside Threadcast

it sounded like i was apologizing for being here, huh?... grawr... that's unfortunate. i apologize for things often enough but only when i honestly think the apology is warranted - if i've done something spiteful, gone about something in a deconstructive way, been negative without stopping to take hold of myself. i make mistakes & like knowing when that has happened because, with any amount of brains & luck i might only need to make the mistakes once, maybe twice, before i learn my lessons.

i was dropping my penny in the well and waiting for the 'kerplunk - thwunk' of it landing... then i remembered what i was saying (people seem to perceive you as they expect you + language is limiting/limited) - while i'm very clear in my own head, not everyone uses the same words or phrases to say the same things... also remembered that i was dropping my penny in a bit later than the rest with change in their hands so thought it possible that they'd already moved on so my penny plus might not really matter...

no apologies from me - i didn't do anything but speak & i have a right just as others do :D - thank you, though, for pointing out how i sounded... not intentional but i see it - and if i see it with you, you've got a deal, bucko - i'd spit on my hand & shake but that's kinda gross so i'll settle for a wink on my end to seal the deal.

UYS - are you alright?????
 
UnderYourSpell said:
I was for a bit but Rons here now he's mad at me for being on the computer says I can't be that bad wants me to lie down but I feel worse when I shut my eyes like I am drunk
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Do you have a carbon monoxide detector?
Can you get some fresh air?
 
I've been in the Den of New Poems. There were many of them, and they are still there, waiting. Expecting me to return. But I don't think I can do it. Much less barely crawl to the Review Room.
 
hmmnmm said:
I've been in the Den of New Poems. There were many of them, and they are still there, waiting. Expecting me to return. But I don't think I can do it. Much less barely crawl to the Review Room.
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You can do it! Just keep it simple. You do not have to have your usual flair or style or anything. Just do what you can..... make a couple of recommendations and escape!

Run run run!
 
i've noticed that each time i've submitted something on a hmmnmm review day for a bit now (not always by any means), he does something other than review poems here... i think it has nothing to do with me - i don't have the consistent talent to sway such things - but, i think i'm going to make a concerted effort not to post on fridays just in case... seems while i was kind of away he was reviewing poems like a Quality Control employee at some first-rate company somewhere for poetry quality...

this being said tongue-in-cheek, of course - the ebb and flow of everything, you know... pendulums and ponderous stuff - no marshmallow fluff but maybe a marshmallow test or two...
 
miss_trust said:
i've noticed that each time i've submitted something on a hmmnmm review day for a bit now (not always by any means), he does something other than review poems here... i think it has nothing to do with me - i don't have the consistent talent to sway such things - but, i think i'm going to make a concerted effort not to post on fridays just in case... seems while i was kind of away he was reviewing poems like a Quality Control employee at some first-rate company somewhere for poetry quality...

this being said tongue-in-cheek, of course - the ebb and flow of everything, you know... pendulums and ponderous stuff - no marshmallow fluff but maybe a marshmallow test or two...
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Coincidence
Happenstance
Wires and circuits randomly criss-crossed
It is in the Early Pre-processing and Recovery Stages now. Letting it sit and set. Next will be the design and sketch stage. And then... you understand.
I have spent time with your poems and my hands smell like missy's poetry.
Depending on your time zone you may expect a Complete and Thorough Review by suppertime or bedtime, depending on when you sup or crawl into bedclothes.
You will get The Hmmnmm Friday Review.
 
I like winter, but I like autumn better. I hate summer with a passion. March is always tough for me... not really sure why except that the winter is over and heat is fast approaching. I think maybe it was also the month that my parents split up when I was a kid, but I'm not sure. Being that I suffer from depression, my mental health helpers (psychiatrists, therapists, case manager..) always seem ready to brace me for the worst in November and December. Then, I always have to explain that they are wasting their breath cuz I never have a worse problem due to the winter season like many people do.

Ok.. so, I've been mulling over thoughts all day for a new poem. Thinking I may have to write multiple versions. Did you ever have something you wanted to say that you would like to use metaphor to express, but feel like no one would get it? I dunno. I don't even think anyone got that my last poem was a statement against the "humans are ruining the earth" movement.
 
miss_trust said:
this being said tongue-in-cheek, of course - the ebb and flow of everything, you know... pendulums and ponderous stuff - no marshmallow fluff but maybe a marshmallow test or two...
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Oh! The pendulums! Forgot all about those. Damn middle age setting in. Or the old coming early. And the marshmallows. Always forgetting. Always. So far behind now... never catch up. Thank you for the reminder.
 
needing to vent... major drama at my house today.
Basically, it's me loosing it in my issues and my daughter having a meltdown with her issues.. fun.
My daughter has Asperger's (a form of autism). She was freaking out because she wouldn't listen to me this afternoon, so I took my laptop that I normally let her use. Well, I had hidden it and she found it. I took it back again and she attacked me.. grabbing my arms, my shirt.. twisting my arms.. I was trying to push her off me and reason with her cuz she is very intelligent, you would think you could explain that it wasn't the smartest way to convince me to give her back my laptop. I wasn't cool the whole time, like when she almost pulled me down the stairs and I was yelling for her to let go of me..
Then it happened..
I was trying to get into my bedroom without her getting in so I could lock my bedroom door and she grabbed my wrist.. THE wrist.. she grabbed and twisted and gripped tightly to the wrist that NO ONE is allowed to touch... any more. Well, it sent me into flashbacks.. which actually gave me enough strength to get her off of me..
My poor Baby Bear was in my bedroom at the time I got the door shut and broke down in hysterics and flashbacks. Poor kid. I don't envy any of my kids. He is so empathetic. He broke down too. Crying, all upset cuz of how upset I was. I assured him over and over that I'm ok.. assuring myself at the same time. He seems fine now. I gave him some jobs to do as I held the door shut while my daughter broke the lock to my door. I had him get me my coffee and cigarettes... and the phone.. called my sister. Maybe I'll get lucky and she will come get Roni (my daughter) for the night. Thought about calling my counselling center or my case manager.. but, I'm ok.
just reminding myself to breathe.
thanks for listening.
:rose:
 
what a day it's been
but everyone's collected, accounted for,
and I'll tell ya I'm a dang skeptic
about stuff like the stars and planets
but sometimes... sometimes I wonder.
 
I am sorry you had to live through this drama.

I can relate and sympathize.

Does your "Baby Bear" have a sibling support group? We used to have one in MD but not here.... on my list of things to do. If there is one around, I highly recommend it. The one in Maryland was called "Sibshops."

Good luck! I hope you and your family found peace before sleep....and that everyone feels better in the morning.


~AS


LadynStFreknBed said:
needing to vent... major drama at my house today.
Basically, it's me loosing it in my issues and my daughter having a meltdown with her issues.. fun.
My daughter has Asperger's (a form of autism). She was freaking out because she wouldn't listen to me this afternoon, so I took my laptop that I normally let her use. Well, I had hidden it and she found it. I took it back again and she attacked me.. grabbing my arms, my shirt.. twisting my arms.. I was trying to push her off me and reason with her cuz she is very intelligent, you would think you could explain that it wasn't the smartest way to convince me to give her back my laptop. I wasn't cool the whole time, like when she almost pulled me down the stairs and I was yelling for her to let go of me..
Then it happened..
I was trying to get into my bedroom without her getting in so I could lock my bedroom door and she grabbed my wrist.. THE wrist.. she grabbed and twisted and gripped tightly to the wrist that NO ONE is allowed to touch... any more. Well, it sent me into flashbacks.. which actually gave me enough strength to get her off of me..
My poor Baby Bear was in my bedroom at the time I got the door shut and broke down in hysterics and flashbacks. Poor kid. I don't envy any of my kids. He is so empathetic. He broke down too. Crying, all upset cuz of how upset I was. I assured him over and over that I'm ok.. assuring myself at the same time. He seems fine now. I gave him some jobs to do as I held the door shut while my daughter broke the lock to my door. I had him get me my coffee and cigarettes... and the phone.. called my sister. Maybe I'll get lucky and she will come get Roni (my daughter) for the night. Thought about calling my counselling center or my case manager.. but, I'm ok.
just reminding myself to breathe.
thanks for listening.
:rose:
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LadynStFreknBed said:
needing to vent... major drama at my house today. . .
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I cannot say I know what that is like because I don't. But I hope your family has a quiet weekend if possible and that you are all ok. Parenting is the hardest job there is, I think. Vent as needed, rinse, repeat. :rose:
 
Thanks guys.

I think the cloud of dust has settled. Since late last night, my daughter has engulfed herself in her music which is fine by me.

My sons spend the weekdays with their father during the school year, because he lives in a decent school district. I have them on weekends and all summer. Often, my daughter babysits for my sister through the weekend, but my sister is visiting our grandparents this weekend. I doubt there is a sibling group in my area, but I'll ask my one therapist. She's better at hunting services down than my case manager.

Just keep your fingers crossed about my daughter's upcoming psychiatrist appointment. My daughter is highly intelligent and manipulative. Her last psychiatrist saw through that. She had fooled the first psychiatrist. Roni made the psychiatrist think that she was perfectly fine and that all the problems were from me. ha! As soon as we walked out of that psychiatrist's office, Roni said, "See. I fooled her."

The only way I can get her to go to a psychiatrist is that her last psychiatrist (who quit her practice) used to prescribe Roni's migraine medication. Otherwise, Roni would not go to any mental health professional. She considers psychology a "pseudo-science."

kids.
 
gah'damn
mucho drama
unfolds ongoing

Tell ya, if I liked reality television and ran
a reality television network, I'd... well you can guess.
 
missus watches some of that stuff, otherwise i wouldn't know they Be. You know, the families with 7000 children, those sorts of 'shows' and I just don't understand. I mean, good for the families. If 7000 children is your thing, I'll be last person to attempt any proscription belittlement, for that. But I just can't get interested in watching an on and on moment by moment television show. I mean, by comparison golf on television is a sky full of bursting fireworks. But apparently I'm the minority in that category. Befuddlement for sure.
 
The trend continues today, happy to say. Told off a telemarketer. I know. They're just doing their job, probably glad to have a job, probably hate their job because of people like me, but sometimes... it felt really good. Talking back. I know telemarketers are not authority figures but they smell like it. Trying to convince you to do something. Telling you you are deficient without doing what they want. So it is a shadow version of authority. So it was good to tell them off. It could get addicting. heh.

Subbed another audio which I think is gonna suck. The voice. That's tough. Gonna sound too much like reading. Should've tried one more take. But on the other hand it's good to make sucky stuff. So the next one only has to be a little better to sound a lot better. So, hail to sucky stuff. I mean, what a boring world, if all the songs and all the stories and all the works of art were like, good. Hm. there's another idea. Man, they're piling up again. Heh.

Oh and the sun's out, mountains white and the blue sky...

what a great day
 
hmmnmm said:
They're just doing their job, probably glad to have a job,
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yes

hmmnmm said:
probably hate their job because of people like me,
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and yes (not necessarily you, but anyone who takes it out on them for doing their jobs)

I used to be a telemarketer (for a short time), so I always try to nicely tell them no and hang up early as to not waste their time. I know how it is.
 
LadynStFreknBed said:
yes



and yes (not necessarily you, but anyone who takes it out on them for doing their jobs)

I used to be a telemarketer (for a short time), so I always try to nicely tell them no and hang up early as to not waste their time. I know how it is.
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well of course I wouldn't tell you off. :heart:
And normally don't. Normally play Politeness Man.
I thought it would be an opportune time to practice assertiveness.
Probably went overboard. Poor guy.

Hey you can tell me off if you want. :rose:
 
I rarely tell people off when they should be told off... unless they are hurting someone else. So, unless you are mean to Annie, I doubt I would ever tell you off.. not that I would want to. :kiss:
 
LadynStFreknBed said:
I rarely tell people off when they should be told off... unless they are hurting someone else. So, unless you are mean to Annie, I doubt I would ever tell you off.. not that I would want to. :kiss:
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Well I'm not the type, or haven't been the type. Mister Nice Guy. But, Nice guys tend to get pushed around or feel like they've been pushed around, and instead of making waves, just suck it up and smile, and just get along. Let it go. Always, letting it go. Except certain other things are not let go; they accumulate. Then Mister Nice Guy thinks, "hm, what if I just started telling people who irritate me to just fuck off?"

And just then an unsuspecting telemarketer dials the number to the telephone that happens to be in this house in which I happened to be alone and for some reason the caller ID isn't working, and I'd been deep in some life-changing moment of thought. So it was good timing for me and bad timing for the telemarketer. And now he thinks he was spoken to very gruffly. I didn't tell him to fuck off. Just argued with him. He uttered the cursory 'how are you?' which I know is just formality. But it was just the wrong moment. Not his fault. Something just snapped. I told him he couldn't care how I was doing because he didn't know me. Insincerity. Cringe! Then he was saying he did care, because he's a christian and christians love everybody. Stuff like that.

Which really ties in with what we were discussing earlier: Mister Nice Guy comes across to a stranger on a telephone as a very gruff and argumentative man. And the strangest feeling just washed over me because I think I can honestly say I really don't care. It's good.
 
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