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Tihmmnmmish's Cuddle-Friendly Fireside Threadcast

I've been told I am wired like a man i.e can see sex as a pleasant pastime that doesn't have to mean anything more than great sex
 
UnderYourSpell said:
I've been told I am wired like a man i.e can see sex as a pleasant pastime that doesn't have to mean anything more than great sex
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I have always argued with that paradigm. I find that women tend to be just as likely, if not more capable, of indulging in sexual relationships that are "just" about sex. I think men talk about it, but when they really go there they are just as heart-based, if not moreso, than women.

You're a case in point. And you're not the only woman who has been told she's "wired like a man."

Who was that, maybe Germaine Greer? Who said, "When a woman tries to behave like a human she's accused of acting like a man."

/threadjack
 
It is difficult for some souls who are greatly cherished to understand that they are no less cherished just because the one who cherishes really functions best when there is ample time spent in spacious solitude; in fact, it allows intensification of the desire.
 
I think it's still a man's word when it comes to sex. When a man gets caught out having a bit on the side he's still a bit of a lad whereas a woman's a lot of things none of them complimentary
 
hmmnmm said:
It is difficult for some souls who are greatly cherished to understand that they are no less cherished just because the one who cherishes really functions best when there is ample time spent in spacious solitude; in fact, it allows intensification of the desire.
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I like my own company more than anyone elses in the world we are back to that hermit thing again ........ give me a computer and a load of books feed me occassionally and I would be quite content
 
There's being alone when you don't want to be alone, and then there's not being alone when you'd really like to be alone. Yeah this does sound familiar doesn't it? It's a variation. That was a discovery during the three week sabbatical. Love to play with variations. All kinds of variations. Oh yes.
 
Oh baby, oh baby...
it appears a biggie
has come together.
Oh man, oh man...

And so obvious.
Wonder why that is.
Look so long and hard.
Yet answers are really always
so near, and usually very simple.
Check it out.
Oh baby, oh baby...
 
hmmnmm said:
There's being alone when you don't want to be alone, and then there's not being alone when you'd really like to be alone. Yeah this does sound familiar doesn't it? It's a variation. That was a discovery during the three week sabbatical. Love to play with variations. All kinds of variations. Oh yes.
Click to expand...

I can't bear to be alone now I havent been this sick for a long time
 
If there's anything I can do, considering of course, the vast distance that exists between us...
 
Because I happen to be overflowing with the goods of wellness, mainly mental and emotional, which is simply result of having solved a dilemma that has lingered for several years. The only loose end is the packaging. But there's gotta be a way. Anyway, just trying to say that I have plenty of goodness to go around... and a blankie.
 
Idon't know if the blankie can help this time altho we can try just came online to turn my emails off I'm being sent to hospital I guess its bad when you are calling for your dead mother
 
I am still in the land of the living although very tired and weak not having eaten or slept for 5 days. But something very weird happened in the early hours of this morning. The pain was very bad and Ron was all for calling an ambulance but I kept saying hold on which was very stupid of me considering the racket I was making and begging him to let me die. Anyway Ron was exhausted and slipped into sleep and so did I for a few minutes only to have the same dream or variation of it since I got sick. I kept dreaming about this place reading stuff from people I didn't know about subjects I didn't understand . Anyway to give Ron some peace to sleep I came online and gradually gradually the terrible pain eased and touch wood hasn't returned. I expect there is some perfectly reasonable explaination I just can't see it right now.
 
Most if not all answers are really very simple. Sometimes so simple, too simple, too close; one tends to look far and deep and work too hard. Then see it was right there all along. Dorothy's ruby slippers. Same idea.
 
Something quite interesting and illuminating happened not long ago, and it begs that I share it, except I'm not in the mood to labor over its expression. So just mark this for now, in case the mood does come but I've forgotten. It has to do with some of us who, on the darkside of imaginative tendencies, sometimes create truths in our minds which often have no basis in real life truth. It begins as a possibility, progresses to a probability, builds to a half-alive creation... and then what was once nothing more than a groundless suspicion becomes as true as any truth, in the mind.

But once in a while, rescue comes in the form of reality, and you are able to see what you thought was true was not at all true. Swear, there's body parts beginning to unwind that I did not realize were so twisted up. You can really burn up a lot of energy worrying about what is not worth worrying about.

It has to do with some of the rules we are supposed to follow for this house we rent, but we don't quite follow all of them, the main one being the smoking.
 
This house's owner lives in another state, a distant state. So we'd not met him. All we knew was that once in a while some guys would come around to do some work, because the owner hired them; they knew the owner and would say how great a person he is and that he often came down here about this time of year. By all accounts we realized we were fortunate to be renting from such a convivial-sounding person. The only real concern was the bold statement in the lease agreement that there would be zero tolerance for smoking inside the house.

Well we started out okay. Nice front deck. Nice place to smoke, except it was still wintertime, and besides we do need to quit/cut down. Then we started to do it inside, but right at the open kitchen window. Then it gradually moved to the couch, when watching TV. Then I started to bring the smoke in here, "just one" while writing or reading or fucking off. All the while, every time I'd light one, there'd be the little fear-factor alarm in the back of my mind, "sure hope ___ doesn't decide to swing down this way for a surprise visit. I mean, nice guy he may be but if he's one of these militant anti-smokers..." or sometimes we'd come in after being out a while, and notice the presence of smoke smell was more noticeable after being out a while. Mutually mention that we hoped the owner wouldn't decided to swing down this way for a surprise visit. Mrs Hmmnmm even mentioned more than once about we should see about washing the walls just in case. And really, we should start smoking outside.

So this is like, a 14-15 month nagging worry.

This morning I'm up and about, like usual, and I hear a tap on the front door. Guess who? And I'd just been smoking. Oh well. It was fun. But I open the door and he introduces himself, and his brother; they didn't demand to come inside. They were just down here visiting, wanted to check out the work the guys he'd hired had done. We stood on the front deck, chatting; they asked how we liked the house and if everything was working out okay... so on... and it was true: really nice person, easy-going, down-to-earth, casual... the whole time I'm thinking they'll walk in the house, smell the smoke, "hey! You've been smoking in my house?" and I entered a mental battle whether to go ahead and confess, get it over with.

When all of a sudden, the brother pulls out a pack of cigarettes and asks me if it's okay to smoke there. I said, "uh, sure."

We chat a little more, I'm feeling a little more relaxed, when the owner himself pulls out a pack of cigarettes and taps one out, lights it.

We chat a little more. During a brief break, I offered the humble confession, with the accompaniment shrug, "Uh, sometimes we smoke in the house."

Then he's like, so? Said we were the ones living there, so no big deal. And that was it. A worry that nagged for nearly 15 months, solved in one short second. We visited more, walked around the house; asked about the stove, I said it was a great stove, did a great job heating the house... something about the apple tree in the front yard, said I hadn't really checked out those apples yet...

We shook hands again, they bid departure farewell.

I came back in the house and felt much more at ease about lighting up a cigarette. I was going to try to quit again today, but... nah, not this week.
 
hmmnmm said:
Something quite interesting and illuminating happened not long ago, and it begs that I share it, except I'm not in the mood to labor over its expression. So just mark this for now, in case the mood does come but I've forgotten. It has to do with some of us who, on the darkside of imaginative tendencies, sometimes create truths in our minds which often have no basis in real life truth. It begins as a possibility, progresses to a probability, builds to a half-alive creation... and then what was once nothing more than a groundless suspicion becomes as true as any truth, in the mind.

But once in a while, rescue comes in the form of reality, and you are able to see what you thought was true was not at all true. Swear, there's body parts beginning to unwind that I did not realize were so twisted up. You can really burn up a lot of energy worrying about what is not worth worrying about.

It has to do with some of the rules we are supposed to follow for this house we rent, but we don't quite follow all of them, the main one being the smoking.
Click to expand...

I used to know a guy like this and he caused me more pain than I care to mention. He would get something into his head and because he had thought it that somehow made it a complete and utter truth. When we were in a friendly relationship I showed him loads of times how wrong he was and he would eventually back down in the face of logic. When I was struggling hard to get out of said relationship my Lord his imagination went into overdrive. Because on the surface he seems such a nice guy he is so utterly believable and because he himself believed in his mind he was telling the turh. Well enough said that he all but ruined my reputation and lost me a great many friends and split a community straight down the middle setting friend against friend. Oh and apparently I was having a torrid affair with some guy and all because I politely said goodbye to him one night in passing!
 
any creative or healing capacity must allow an equal capability to kill or destroy
unfortunately the latter is opted for far too often
 
(((to all)))

Gosh, I miss this thread! miss this forum!
Let me tell you, learning new software- like Adobe illustrator- is a summovabitch! I'm still trying to get into the swing of things in art school. BUT, I just wanted you guys to know that I haven't forgotten about you.

Where's hmmnmmish and Annie? Double hugs! And congratulations on the nomination for Most Influential Poet, Annie. I think I already told hmmnmmish that my goal for this year was to get 2 nominations and I got 3, so even if I don't win any, I'm a very happy camper.

Take care, guys! I'll be back tomorrow. I got some serious reading to catch up on in this thread. Good stuff as always! (Probably the best use of Lit, IMHO).

:kiss:
 
UnderYourSpell said:
I've been told I am wired like a man i.e can see sex as a pleasant pastime that doesn't have to mean anything more than great sex
Click to expand...

unpredictablebijou said:
I have always argued with that paradigm. I find that women tend to be just as likely, if not more capable, of indulging in sexual relationships that are "just" about sex. I think men talk about it, but when they really go there they are just as heart-based, if not moreso, than women.

You're a case in point. And you're not the only woman who has been told she's "wired like a man."

Who was that, maybe Germaine Greer? Who said, "When a woman tries to behave like a human she's accused of acting like a man."

/threadjack
Click to expand...

Please don't hate on me for bringing this up again. I just think it's funny that just this week I was told that I am "like a man" in regards to sex. LOL
I think a lot of women who enjoy sex for the sake of sex get those kinds of comments at times.

Sorry for bringing up a topic that seems to have already run its course.
 
Well dear Shiela, like I said, there's at least two ways any idea/word/concept can go. My inability to come to any real completion with anything offers the positive byproduct of never needing to close any roads. And the fascination yet simplicity that sex is... and since each and any piece of the universe offers sexual/erotic corrollaries... we are dealing with oodles of cycles, and since time is a false concept invented by humans who need to order their existences into categories, there is no need to apologize.
 
Ah, yes, time. Time is a very interesting concept to me. I was watching a documentary about Einstein a couple months ago. Fascinating stuff, really. I actually felt the need to watch it twice, which was easy since I think it must have been some anniversary related to Einstein- birthday or otherwise- because the channel was playing all Einstein-related programs for a day or two. Unfortunately, I feel like I can never quite grasp advanced scientific concepts. I love them. I appreciate them. I've always loved science and I'm not totally ignorant of its concepts. But, I always feel that "ah-ha!" moment is just outside my reach.

But, regardless of time or perhaps solely because of people's expectations regarding time, I have a natural tendency to lose contact with those I find interesting and have the pleasure of knowing. While with many people, even after a considerable amount of time has passed, I feel like I can reconnect with them instantly. With others, there seems to be a barrier to such a reconnection-- perhaps a resentment due to their expectations and my lack thereof.

This is one place that I hope to never lose that intimate contact regardless of how active I am in Litland.

:rose:
 
Well LS, it is my pleasure to be of service in whatever way it is in my humble ability to be. I suppose we (or someone) should at least mention their love of poetry, but I've not felt too poetic lately. If ever there comes into existence a sort of no-man's forum or subforum, something that allowed branches to reach towards all points, that's where something like what this has turned into would better fit, methinks. Yeah I know, such an idea is not very erotic, or probably wouldn't be perceived as erotic... but you know, last I checked eroticism is not always in the up position. There's plenty of stages: build up, afterglow... disinterest growing into fresh interest. Anyway...
 
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