Tihmmnmmish's Cuddle-Friendly Fireside Threadcast

How do you feel when you read some of your earlier work when it doesn't measure up to your current standards?

I feel stupid. I know I shouldn't. If anything, I'd think that I would feel smarter, for having the ability to see the problems now. I can't help but feel like a loser for having written such dribble in the first place. Ya know what I mean? Hopefully, you don't.

ETA:

btw, Annie... no problem. (((Annie)))
You know we're always buddies.
 
Know the feeling, LS.

For me it's a mood thing. Or not mood. Wrong word but close enough. Haven't really made notes of which moods or states match which reactions, but I swear, if I read some old (or hell, even recent) thing tomorrow I might pat myself on the back and if I look over the same thing on a later time, might cringe and want to go hide forever. And you know, the same thing can be said for remembering things I've done or said: might chuckle, smile, "yeah, that was me. I did that. Cool." Remember the same thing at another time and mood and "oh no! that wasn't me. Oh god no, please!" Probably depends on the mood/mental state that happens to prevail at that moment, or what led to it: critical, tight, serious, or open, relaxed, jovial, easy-going... nobody's perfect and nobody ever will be; the degree to which I acknowledge or forget such a simple truth directly connects to whether I'm loving life or shuffling around with a scowl pointed at the ground.
 
I think lookin back at poetry written some time ago is a whole learning experience in itself. Not so much dependent on mood, as such, but on the word chosen at that time. I sometimes catch a poem submitted years ago and, like Hmmnmm, thin "why oh why did I send that one off half cooked?" Sheer laziness prevents me from editing but it opens my eyes to a new vista. Poetry is like that, another brick in the castle wall......
 
Yes! Procrastinating Perfectionists.

LPP



perfect


on second thought... gotta be a better word than Lazy.

Thesaurus says....................

apathetic,
asleep on the job,
careless,
comatose,
dallying,
dilatory,
drowsy,
dull,
flagging,
idle,
inattentive,
indifferent,
indolent,
inert,
lackadaisical,
laggard,
lagging,
languid,
languorous,
lethargic,
lifeless,
loafing,
neglectful,
out of it,
passive,
procrastinating,
remiss,
shiftless,
slack,
sleepy,
slothful,
slow,
slow-moving,
snoozy,
somnolent,
supine,
tardy,
tired,
torpid,
trifling,
unconcerned,
unenergetic,
unindustrious,
unpersevering,
unready,
weary. ...........take your pick. :) [yes, I am bored]
 
Thesaurus says....................

apathetic,
asleep on the job,
careless,
comatose,
dallying,
dilatory,
drowsy,
dull,
flagging,
idle,
inattentive,
indifferent,
indolent,
inert,
lackadaisical,
laggard,
lagging,
languid,
languorous,
lethargic,
lifeless,
loafing,
neglectful,
out of it,
passive,
procrastinating,
remiss,
shiftless,
slack,
sleepy,
slothful,
slow,
slow-moving,
snoozy,
somnolent,
supine,
tardy,
tired,
torpid,
trifling,
unconcerned,
unenergetic,
unindustrious,
unpersevering,
unready,
weary. ...........take your pick. :) [yes, I am bored]


My old dictionary only gave three synonyms. Indolent looked to be a pretty possible candidate. But you've got quite a long there. First one that jumped out was Comatose. Torpid ain't bad either. Those would be the first picks. Until, Laggard appeared. Laggard. That's a good word. Shiftless? But no, Laggard leaves us with LPP. But IPP ain't bad either.

Laggardly Procrastinating Perfectionists United

LPPU

Inert certainly speaks too.

Lot to think about all of a sudden.
 
Not that there's anything wrong with that, being bored.

Procrastinating something?
 
LPPU

high on good intentions,

far less high on ambition. Or gumption.

Yes, gumption.


Intentions
are high,
gumption
not quite
that high
 
Well, that's what my therapist calls it. LOL

I tend to have expectations very high. I am also chronically hard on myself. Some statements have been made that part of the reason that I procrastinate is because of both a fear of failure and fear of success. I guess I am too comfortable in status quo.

By setting my goals very high (I'm talking extreme here), but procrastinating and being extremely hard on myself, I am being self-defeating. Kinda like setting myself up for failure..

I can't paint a painting and let it be what it is and be totally happy with the outcome and myself..
noooooooo....that would be too "easy"
I have to paint the fuckin' Mona Lisa or I suck as an artist.

Get it?
 
I do get it.

And I think defeatism gains a lot of its power when we succumb to the temptation of taking ourselves too seriously (which I too often do, to the detriment of myself and others).

I think that once in a while if you consciously separate it from yourself, and laugh at it, its power seems to wither.

Laughter/humor defeats the defeatism?
 
Laugh at it?

I just don't think that approach will work for me. It's so deep-seated that it would be like I am laughing at myself in a bad way. I don't know if that makes sense to you. And, maybe laughing at it would work for some. This is such a big issue with me that I would seriously welcome any suggestions.

When I read my work, look at my paintings, or even see a pic of myself, all I see is the flaws.
 
Or maybe not defeats it, because it's probably good to have it around for the exercise. Manages. If you can recognize that your worst enemy can be yourself...
 
The one thing that I have found that helps a little is to try to look at my poetry, paintings, pics, or whatever as if they belonged to a friend of mine. If I can gain that perspective, I can look at things in kinder light. I can still be critical, but only in a helpful way. Ya know?
 
Laugh at it?

I just don't think that approach will work for me. It's so deep-seated that it would be like I am laughing at myself in a bad way. I don't know if that makes sense to you. And, maybe laughing at it would work for some. This is such a big issue with me that I would seriously welcome any suggestions.

When I read my work, look at my paintings, or even see a pic of myself, all I see is the flaws.

Oh don't laugh at yourself if it's only going to be in a bad way.

How about acceptance of the fact that you'll never be perfect?

Try setting aside the idea of perfection, and laugh at it? See how ridiculous it is. See how important it attempts to present itself. And you're a hell of a lot more important than it.
 
The one thing that I have found that helps a little is to try to look at my poetry, paintings, pics, or whatever as if they belonged to a friend of mine. If I can gain that perspective, I can look at things in kinder light. I can still be critical, but only in a helpful way. Ya know?

Hey if that's what helps... we all got to figure out what works best for each of us.
 
See, to me, a guy cursed with perfectionist tendencies, it helps to remember that perfection = sterility. Any atmosphere where sterility is the prevalent odor, you can be sure laughter will be scant.
 
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