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Tihmmnmmish's Cuddle-Friendly Fireside Threadcast

Teachers, really good teachers, are rarities. They are gold. A teacher who points out my faults and errors while also giving me a dose of hope that accomplishment is not hopeless... that's someone I'll listen to, and appreciate, and work for, and bring them gifts to express my gratitude, and they are someone who'll I'll hope to show how they helped. But the critic who just criticizes and then leaves me alone in the forest... I'm likely gonna just shut them off. And like you say, in that case, who's the beneficiary? The critic feels good, I feel lousy... great, just great...
 
hmmnmm said:
Good points.
The internet seems to open doors for everyone. The good and the bad. The writer/poet/photographer/musician/ponderer enjoys so many more opportunities of presenting their works than probably anyone could've dreamed a mere couple decades ago. I'm certain there's treasure troves of possible outlets far and near, and here and there, that if I'd really get off my figurative lazy ass, could really be lovely experiences and opportunities.

Conversely, if the internet has opened doors for the would-be wordsmith, it's also invited experts and critics, who also enjoy platforms they may not have enjoyed otherwise. But we can't go around policing the way critics criticize just to protect a few constitutions that might be on the slightly oversensitive side (like mine) and who are already super self-critical.

I could plead, "hey, you don't have to yell. I'm a pretty easy-going, downright nice guy. All you have to do is make a suggestion, and you can be sure it'll be appreciated, and considered from this time forward." I might be more likely to calmly consider whether that sentence or line is better with or without that adjective. Or a different adjective. Or something. Or a different sentence or line. Or no sentence or line. As opposed to a usage that goes against what somebody told me because they yelled when they didn't have to yell. Which immediately shifts the importance of the work itself, to a nonsensical skirmish with someone I don't know, and who has possibly already moved on to their next subject.

And I just lost the train of thought... shall pause and maybe it'll come back.

Thank you greenmountaineer, for sharing these insights.
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hmmnmm said:
Teachers, really good teachers, are rarities. They are gold. A teacher who points out my faults and errors while also giving me a dose of hope that accomplishment is not hopeless... that's someone I'll listen to, and appreciate, and work for, and bring them gifts to express my gratitude, and they are someone who'll I'll hope to show how they helped. But the critic who just criticizes and then leaves me alone in the forest... I'm likely gonna just shut them off. And like you say, in that case, who's the beneficiary? The critic feels good, I feel lousy... great, just great...
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when the critic makes it more about themselves or the poet rather than the individual work being looked at, then they become worthless (imo) as a critic. It is NOT the crit's sole job to point out what's wrong - but offering insight, pointing out strengths as well as weaknesses, making suggestions or even merely asking the author to step back and look from another perspective in order to offer a balanced, intuitive and encouraging critique is. Even if the work's really bad, there are ways of suggesting it might not work but there may be the odd phrase that could be salvaged for future use.

However, way too many critters aren't that interested in anything other than seeing it rewritten the way they say, as if they are the one writing the piece. Too many don't attempt to look at the work through the eyes and ears of the author, and make suggestions that work contrary to the author's original intentions, viewpoint, and voice. Offering a balanced crit takes as much thinking time as creating the poem in the first place sometimes, and on occasions, more. The crit who just tosses out a couple of nasty, imperious lines in order to appear educated, witty, or someone-to-aspire-to ought to get off their box and rethink their attitudes, especially if they actually DO have something worth saying but are too damned lazy or elitist to be arsed.
 
LadynStFreknBed said:
I fuckin hate bipolar disorder & PTSD so much right now. Do you know what it's like to loathe part of yourself so much? Maybe some of you do. I'm tired of any time some little thing goes wrong that the tears and suicidal thoughts are an automatic response. I guess it's not so much what actually happened as it is that I tried so hard to make sure it wouldn't happen and I failed. Only thing is, I didn't think I failed, but it happened anyway. So, I guess an element of my turning on myself is feeling like a victim again-the PTSD kicks in. Where do I go when I cease to feel safe even in my bedroom sanctuary?
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You come on here hun and get enveloped in a cyber hug .... oh sure it's no where near anything you need right now but it's what I offer and anyone less like a failure I've yet to meet so don't go doing yourself down. You live your life and put up with more shit than I ever could. On top of which you earn a living through your writing/painting and still find time to write for fun and others enjoyment .......... sooooooooo missus in my book you are the WOMANNNNNNN! Yeah yeah!!
 
chipbutty said:
when the critic makes it more about themselves or the poet rather than the individual work being looked at, then they become worthless (imo) as a critic. It is NOT the crit's sole job to point out what's wrong - but offering insight, pointing out strengths as well as weaknesses, making suggestions or even merely asking the author to step back and look from another perspective in order to offer a balanced, intuitive and encouraging critique is. Even if the work's really bad, there are ways of suggesting it might not work but there may be the odd phrase that could be salvaged for future use.

However, way too many critters aren't that interested in anything other than seeing it rewritten the way they say, as if they are the one writing the piece. Too many don't attempt to look at the work through the eyes and ears of the author, and make suggestions that work contrary to the author's original intentions, viewpoint, and voice. Offering a balanced crit takes as much thinking time as creating the poem in the first place sometimes, and on occasions, more. The crit who just tosses out a couple of nasty, imperious lines in order to appear educated, witty, or someone-to-aspire-to ought to get off their box and rethink their attitudes, especially if they actually DO have something worth saying but are too damned lazy or elitist to be arsed.
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I still remember a high school art teacher (who was quite an artist in his own right), and this is suddenly over three decades ago... I was trying to draw something (I think it was a couple playing cards and pair of dice), but I didn't have an easy time of it. I had to work long and hard on it, and keep taking to the teacher for guidance on what to do, and how to do it, etc... but after a lot of effort, I presented it and he finally said it was well done. I went 'whew', but then he said, "Now that I know you can..." and from that point on he would expect at least that level of quality. Unfortunately, there came a relocation shortly after that, but I never forgot it. To me, that's a teacher. Someone who shows you what you can do, and it's only a matter of you deciding if you want to work that hard. So a question the inner best teacher might add, would be something like, "what do you really love and how hard are you willing to work to enjoy fullest intimacy?"
 
I'm on the topppppppp of the worldddddd looking down on creation and the explanation I can seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ........ grabs your hands and waltzes everyone across the flooooooor!
 
UnderYourSpell said:
I'm on the topppppppp of the worldddddd looking down on creation and the explanation I can seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ........ grabs your hands and waltzes everyone across the flooooooor!
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We've been the blessed recipients of your dedication and work. Congratulations. You definitely earned it.
:rose:
 
I hate that one little, stupid thing has ruined my whole day with tears and suicidal thoughts. I'm not upset at the powers that be over in the Survivor contest. I'm upset with the illnesses. It's not their fault that I just got done with partial hospitalization and I'm not 100% fine yet. And to think I was going to ask my psychiatrist to lower the anti-depressant dosage cuz I was feeling hypomanic. (Hypomania is fine, it's the threat of mania that scares me. I only had one manic episode ever..and ten years later, I can still feel where they injected the Haldol in my arm.)

Anyway, I'll be hiding under the blankie. Let me know when my next poem posts (probably tomorrow). lol I'm afraid to look at how today's poems were received, if they have any comments. I'll save that for another day.

Oh, and I like the things I read in this thread today. I'll have to look over it again some other day.

ETA-
And I want to formally congratulate Annie! WELL DONE, GIRLIE!
 
LadynStFreknBed said:
I hate that one little, stupid thing has ruined my whole day with tears and suicidal thoughts. I'm not upset at the powers that be over in the Survivor contest. I'm upset with the illnesses. It's not their fault that I just got done with partial hospitalization and I'm not 100% fine yet. And to think I was going to ask my psychiatrist to lower the anti-depressant dosage cuz I was feeling hypomanic. (Hypomania is fine, it's the threat of mania that scares me. I only had one manic episode ever..and ten years later, I can still feel where they injected the Haldol in my arm.)

Anyway, I'll be hiding under the blankie. Let me know when my next poem posts (probably tomorrow). lol I'm afraid to look at how today's poems were received, if they have any comments. I'll save that for another day.

Oh, and I like the things I read in this thread today. I'll have to look over it again some other day.

ETA-
And I want to formally congratulate Annie! WELL DONE, GIRLIE!
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You have 2 nice poems up today - didn't see any assaults on either.

I agree, events in our past can carry forward with long-lasting effects. Our rational understanding can say one thing, our emotions another. You ask yourself, why? How do I get away from this and put it behind me?
For me, hiding under my blankie reinforces the effect of those feelings, focusing on something else helps.

Take care
 
EroticOrogeny said:
For me, hiding under my blankie reinforces the effect of those feelings, focusing on something else helps.

Take care
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Yes, EO. You're right. That's why I wrote a poem. Sometimes, I paint, but I was too upset today for that so I opted for freewriting and poetry. Oh, and the poem that I wrote today is hundreds of times clearer than my haiku. LOL

Tomorrow is another day. Goodnight.
 
LadynStFreknBed said:
I hate that one little, stupid thing has ruined my whole day with tears and suicidal thoughts. I'm not upset at the powers that be over in the Survivor contest. I'm upset with the illnesses. It's not their fault that I just got done with partial hospitalization and I'm not 100% fine yet. And to think I was going to ask my psychiatrist to lower the anti-depressant dosage cuz I was feeling hypomanic. (Hypomania is fine, it's the threat of mania that scares me. I only had one manic episode ever..and ten years later, I can still feel where they injected the Haldol in my arm.)

Anyway, I'll be hiding under the blankie. Let me know when my next poem posts (probably tomorrow). lol I'm afraid to look at how today's poems were received, if they have any comments. I'll save that for another day.

Oh, and I like the things I read in this thread today. I'll have to look over it again some other day.

ETA-
And I want to formally congratulate Annie! WELL DONE, GIRLIE!
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EroticOrogeny said:
Congratulations you finished on top!
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Thankyou helpmates because that's what you are, somebody to talk to that actually understands!! Oh sure I tell my husband but he wouldn't know a sestina if it jumped up and bit him on the nose. I haven't read any new poems for ages and that's dreadful of me but I will read yours later.
Congrats to you EO too because you started later than everyone else yet still managed to lap the rest!
An on line friend said to me last night that he couldn't write even a line of poetry so I've set him a challenge and he's written a synopsis (is that the right word?) and told me to write a poem about it but I've emailed back that oh no he is going to write it. So I've asked for him to write down what his emotions were at the time. I don't know if he will give it a go or not or whether you can teach someone to write poetry or not. If he does keep at it I will ask on here if it is against the rules to workshop someone elses poem on it's own thread, asking peoples opinions as to what works and what doesn't
 
my brain hurts... from chatting on the Spanish forum. I am WAY rusty on that. Periodic practice is a good thing. It's a shame that learning languages is not like learning to ride a bicycle, though I was surprised that I didn't have to look up as many words as I thought I would.
 
UnderYourSpell said:
Thankyou helpmates because that's what you are, somebody to talk to that actually understands!! Oh sure I tell my husband but he wouldn't know a sestina if it jumped up and bit him on the nose. I haven't read any new poems for ages and that's dreadful of me but I will read yours later.
Congrats to you EO too because you started later than everyone else yet still managed to lap the rest!
An on line friend said to me last night that he couldn't write even a line of poetry so I've set him a challenge and he's written a synopsis (is that the right word?) and told me to write a poem about it but I've emailed back that oh no he is going to write it. So I've asked for him to write down what his emotions were at the time. I don't know if he will give it a go or not or whether you can teach someone to write poetry or not. If he does keep at it I will ask on here if it is against the rules to workshop someone elses poem on it's own thread, asking peoples opinions as to what works and what doesn't
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Thanks - I didn't start that late (mid Feb) but really got going in the 2nd half.
It was good to participate in spite of the aggravations some challenges provided.

My wife likewise wouldn't much about poetry forms. She does like alliteration, which I'm known to use (abuse ?). She doesn't read them in general, only the erotic ones I give her from time to time (some private, some posted here also).
I try to keep up with new poems, it depends upon how much time I have free. Sometimes I'll read them all (on Thursday's I make sure for review/recommendations).

I think it would be OK to post your friend's poem in a thread, assuming he's over 18. But he could also join - just need an email address and come up with a name.
 
LadynStFreknBed said:
my brain hurts... from chatting on the Spanish forum. I am WAY rusty on that. Periodic practice is a good thing. It's a shame that learning languages is not like learning to ride a bicycle, though I was surprised that I didn't have to look up as many words as I thought I would.
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Well, that's better than me! Took Latin in HS (I was good at taking us off topic with Roman history stuff, while another guy would get him going about 'The Student Prince' - our teacher just loved it).
I took a little German in college, but not much. My wife is from Austria, but has good English now. Works well - mother-in-law only speaks German, I only speak English. Only useful German I had was when I proposed:
'Wollen sie mein frau verben?'
 
I love learning different languages. I am not fluent in any of them. I know enough Spanish that I was able to talk to hispanic clients with limited English when I was a realtor. I like to practice Spanish sometimes since of the languages that I know, Spanish is generally the most useful here. But for quality diversion, I love Japanese. I don't get to practice Yoruba and Swahili much, but every once in awhile I'll focus on them on my own.

My daughter always liked to learn other languages, but for some reason she never wanted to learn Spanish. I wonder if it's because she is constantly mistaken for being hispanic. With my boys, I used to play a game that I made up- "Como se dice?" (How do you say?) I would say something like "Como se dice grandma en espanol?" And they would answer with the Spanish word. (abuela in this case)
 
Well, my story received its first 1-bomb. LOL I know it will be the first of many due to the category- Loving Wives- and the ending which is likely to offend some people. LOL I don't really care what the score is for that story. I like it, even though I like the next one in the series better. :)

How are you guys doing today?
 
LadynStFreknBed said:
I love learning different languages. I am not fluent in any of them. I know enough Spanish that I was able to talk to hispanic clients with limited English when I was a realtor. I like to practice Spanish sometimes since of the languages that I know, Spanish is generally the most useful here. But for quality diversion, I love Japanese. I don't get to practice Yoruba and Swahili much, but every once in awhile I'll focus on them on my own.

My daughter always liked to learn other languages, but for some reason she never wanted to learn Spanish. I wonder if it's because she is constantly mistaken for being hispanic. With my boys, I used to play a game that I made up- "Como se dice?" (How do you say?) I would say something like "Como se dice grandma en espanol?" And they would answer with the Spanish word. (abuela in this case)
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I used to speak Spanish everyday many years ago when I worked as a social worker in NJ. Almost all of my clients were Puerto Rican or Cuban. I loved the language then and still do. It's a wonderfully melodic language because of its few vowels, all of which are frequently used. Two vowels placed together to produce a different vowel sound like in English or even French are rare in Spanish and usually "Spanglicized" foreign words when you do see them.

Both the people and the language have inspired me in my writing. "Angelina Rodriquez," a poem I submitted previously on Literotica is still one of my favorites and is a true representation of one of my clients I fondly remember.

Last Thanksgiving, my in-laws with whom we celebrate invited among others a Bulgarian family. The grandfather spoke no English but spent several months in Havana and later studied the language. We had a great time talking with each other because Spanish is hardly ever spoken up here in northern New England where I now live.

Me alegro de que Ud. haya vuelto a estas páginas y que continue mejorándose la salud.
 
Spanish would be very useful here, too.
Several years ago I had some teach yourself Spanish software, along with headphones and mic. Initial research plans were focused on Saltillo, but for various reasons we ended up with my field work being here in Houston. So only ended up with a couple of lessons done.
 
Well I think for sure languages and life philosophies are certainly linked. Reading these last posts, I couldn't help but recall an incident from last summer (which I know I shared here somewhere, so please forgive the rehash... I'll try to observe brevity). My wife's Romanian and she has a friend here in town who is Colombian.

The friend was here for a visit and sat down to the kitchen table, where I had a stack of library books, which the friend immediately perused, and noting the top book was Woolf, she exclaimed how she loved Woolf; but when she went lower, and came to Faulkner, she exclaimed again, I think with even more passion, about how she loved Faulkner. Of course I had to enact some sort of casual investigation, and my inquiries gently coerced confessions such as, "I don't read/like Bestsellers." The reason? Because they were written too plainly. And she didn't want that in her reading. She wanted to read something that would make her work and give her something to think about.

I then informed her how prevalent was our culture's emphasis on the Hemingway/Strunk&White philosophies, to which she replied she didn't like Hemingway, and had never heard of Strunk & White. And so on that went. Later I interrogated my wife (whose university history entails communications/journalism), and she'd never heard of Strunk & White, either, and was so-so on Hemingway.

I told this better elsewhere. But this discussion reminded me of it. I just can't help wonder if cultural priorities don't translate into the arts. Probably, obviously, they do.

I would not discount age as a factor in all this, since we're all in our forties. We didn't grow up with texting and instant messaging... and so on...
 
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I have a whiny bio??? That's a new comment I got. I guess cuz I mention that I don't cyber and don't care to hear how good people are in bed. LMAO Is that whiny? oh, and haughty.. my whining bio is haughty is what the reader said. So, I suppose you're a snob if you don't cyber with the masses? lol

Ok, this post may be whiny..
lol
 
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