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hmmnmm
Guest
Oh but it develops. The broom becomes a primary character. The cat. The mite. A few tiny invisible aliens...
Oh but it develops. The broom becomes a primary character. The cat. The mite. A few tiny invisible aliens...
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
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- May 20, 2007
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- 15,794
I once saw a film or it could have been Outer Limits where there were little black furry creatures living behind the skirting board ...... gave me nightmares for months
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hmmnmm
Guest
Well I love the old b&w Twilight Zones. But I recall watching a few lately and Rod Serling's opening monologues... if someone wrote that way nowadays it would be considered overkill. But I love it. And when they have the story going or starting and Rod's standing in the corner or steps into the scene, starts talking to the audience... that would be comparable to the narrator interrupting a story for a brief explanatory interjection to the reader. Which I also love doing but have (with great struggle) refrained from doing with prose I've submitted here, but which would be considered a big no-no here and now. The world that might be more forgiving of such a thing would probably be poetry. I think Rod Serling had history's most enviable gig. No doubt.
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hmmnmm
Guest
Oh and for the record, linoleum was one of those random dictionary picks, which I love to do, just open up the old dictionary, and pick a word, see what develops; also close my eyes and point to wherever and whatever I see my finger pointing at when I open my eyes... just start from that thing or whatever word that thing is, whatever world that word occupies or could occupy... stuff like that... which is probably why they don't turn out so hot as stories, because they aren't stories, just fuck-around-exercises. But they could be made poetic...?
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hmmnmm
Guest
And for a concluding thought (and I'll try to shut up for awhile
): When I say quality and fun, my personal idea of that ideal would be like if a written work could be transformed into a physical object and that physical object was like a wall, and the wall was like a mosaic? Right? Or something like that. And each little colorful textured piece represented a phrase or a sentence or paragraph... right? The wall could work as a whole or variously-sized pieces could be slipped out and held in the hand, stuck in the pocket, licked or kissed or tasted... it would do something good for the one who took it; they come to the wall the next day or the next hour, slip out another piece.... and so on...I have never accomplished anything near that ideal, but if I ever did I would consider it a success. But if I did accomplish something near that ideal and put it on here as a story? It would be considered a failure, bad writing. So then it seems hopeless again... except I see something in the distance, looks like a lifeboat, and it says Poetry.
Hey I'm sorry for all you guys who continue to suffer in the heat... if I could somehow send doses of what we're having, I would... it continues to be more autumn than summer. A wiser person than am I would be out there with a camera.
): When I say quality and fun, my personal idea of that ideal would be like if a written work could be transformed into a physical object and that physical object was like a wall, and the wall was like a mosaic? Right? Or something like that. And each little colorful textured piece represented a phrase or a sentence or paragraph... right? The wall could work as a whole or variously-sized pieces could be slipped out and held in the hand, stuck in the pocket, licked or kissed or tasted... it would do something good for the one who took it; they come to the wall the next day or the next hour, slip out another piece.... and so on...I have never accomplished anything near that ideal, but if I ever did I would consider it a success. But if I did accomplish something near that ideal and put it on here as a story? It would be considered a failure, bad writing. So then it seems hopeless again... except I see something in the distance, looks like a lifeboat, and it says Poetry. Hey I'm sorry for all you guys who continue to suffer in the heat... if I could somehow send doses of what we're having, I would... it continues to be more autumn than summer. A wiser person than am I would be out there with a camera.
UnderYourSpell
Gerund Whore
- Joined
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- 15,794
There was a past thread (in the past good old days when more people actually did all these challenges!) about picking a word from the dictionary and including it in a poem.
Don't you dare shut up and I'm not suffering with the heat ...... it's lovely!
Don't you dare shut up and I'm not suffering with the heat ...... it's lovely!
H
hmmnmm
Guest
Someone should go dig up that thread. It's a lot of fun. Personally I don't care for the word 'challenge'. Prefer 'exercise' but good exercise, the kind of exercise that doesn't hurt or if it hurts it hurts in a good way.
Back to the earlier stuff, to use an example, a real example... someone commented on a story I had here lately, that I used way too many commas in the opening sentence. The voice they used in the comment was as if they were surprised they should have to point out such an obvious grammatical problem. So I went back and checked, but I could justify no comma removal. It was in first person, and if I'd been speaking the line that was written, I would speak it with that many starts and halts, so the commas, as profuse as they were, belonged where I put them, because I had a conscious purpose for putting them there. Now, true, grammatically, the commenter was correct. But if looking at it poetically, or thinking of how such a phrase should be punctuated... now whether that phrase couldn't have been rephrased or something is an entirely different matter, and maybe the multiple commas caused undesired trip-up... but they were put there that way, not out of ignorance, but on purpose, for effect. Which would probably point again to a poetic flavor. Of course yes, some punctuations are mistakes or oversights...
Well, I cannot let this day go to waste.
Later.
ETA: had I written the same thing in third person I would've then used far fewer commas. In first, the commas indicate the teller starts to tell something they sort of need and want to tell, but suddenly encounters inner struggle whether or not to really tell it. And actually it ended with the teller unable to continue, which fit with the abundant opening sentence commas.
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re: angeline
I only have one story posted too, but mine doesn't have any redeeming qualities. I'll go and read everybody's one story this week and report back here.
re: hmmnmm
Exactly what I'm saying, if I write any good lines when I'm writing a story I just stick them in a poem. Some of my favorite poems have emerged from describing a sex scene in a story, it happens when I forget that I'm trying to write porno. I don't try to write regular prose. There's the humor and satire essay categories here too, you could always try describing what it's like for you trying to write porno stories.
re: generalisimo
Erotic prose and porno prose go hand in hand, a good story will have the lewd/obscene and the warm and fuzzy sentiment too. Not that I can write a good story that does both things, but that's what I find in the the best stories. Usually, I'll only try a porno story if it's a fantasy I've been pondering, so for me I'm wrapped up in it because it's all mine. My problem is I use up the fantasy before I've written most of it down, so then I get sick of writing it and drop it.
I only have one story posted too, but mine doesn't have any redeeming qualities. I'll go and read everybody's one story this week and report back here.
re: hmmnmm
Exactly what I'm saying, if I write any good lines when I'm writing a story I just stick them in a poem. Some of my favorite poems have emerged from describing a sex scene in a story, it happens when I forget that I'm trying to write porno. I don't try to write regular prose. There's the humor and satire essay categories here too, you could always try describing what it's like for you trying to write porno stories.
re: generalisimo
Erotic prose and porno prose go hand in hand, a good story will have the lewd/obscene and the warm and fuzzy sentiment too. Not that I can write a good story that does both things, but that's what I find in the the best stories. Usually, I'll only try a porno story if it's a fantasy I've been pondering, so for me I'm wrapped up in it because it's all mine. My problem is I use up the fantasy before I've written most of it down, so then I get sick of writing it and drop it.
L
LadynStFreknBed
Guest
Didn't I leave a comment on one of your recent stories that you didn't use enough commas? Is that what happened? Early feedback gave you a phobia of commas?
just playin' *poke*
Here's a new poem today that you might be interested in:
Omega by: Manny_Kanblo
a dance of prose and poetry
hey, that's decent... I think I'll use that line in today's recommendation
Angeline
Poet Chick
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2002
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- 27,174
Yknow Tihmmm and poets, all this convo about poetic prose and prose writ by poets has got me thinking that we could probably make an interesting challenge out of this. Maybe something like write an erotic story based on a poem or write an erotic story that is also poetic. What do you all think? I know we still have poets' survivor going, but this could an interesting break from that contest. And I'm pretty sure that if I talk to Laurel, she'll come up with some sort of prize for the winner--well maybe not in this economy lol, but she usually is willing. Wouldn't hurt to find out.
I am open to any and all suggestions to fine tune this idea--that is if you all are interested.
PS I don't care if no one but us reads and/or like the poem/stories we write. We will!
I am open to any and all suggestions to fine tune this idea--that is if you all are interested.
PS I don't care if no one but us reads and/or like the poem/stories we write. We will!
Yknow Tihmmm and poets, all this convo about poetic prose and prose writ by poets has got me thinking that we could probably make an interesting challenge out of this. Maybe something like write an erotic story based on a poem or write an erotic story that is also poetic. What do you all think? I know we still have poets' survivor going, but this could an interesting break from that contest. And I'm pretty sure that if I talk to Laurel, she'll come up with some sort of prize for the winner--well maybe not in this economy lol, but she usually is willing. Wouldn't hurt to find out.
I am open to any and all suggestions to fine tune this idea--that is if you all are interested.
PS I don't care if no one but us reads and/or like the poem/stories we write. We will!
I read your erotic horror story, it looks like a lot of people liked it and voted for it. I really didn't understand the last paragraph. Is Julia the only vampire and it's a twist ending? Or was she just turned into a vampire by the guy and she's about to bite some dude? I wouldn't put as much work into a story I was going to post here, I guess I have a bad ethic. Poetry made into prose really interests me, I hate prose-poetry though, so it'd have to be some new way of writing.
H
hmmnmm
Guest
Yeah. Like it. Like it much. All for more.
Yes I remember your mention of the comma dearth. If we were face to face and you said that, I'd pull out that piece and lay it on the table and we could go over it. I could say, "So show me where you think the commas should go." Maybe some places I'd say, "Yeah I see. Good call. It was an oversight or I wasn't sure at the time." Maybe another place I'd say, "no I don't want a comma there. Yes I can suppose it causes a momentary distress to the reader, but I think they'll survive." Maybe others I'd say, "well let's mark that and come back to it later."
But we do not enjoy the face to face here so our operations are always partially handicapped.
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LadynStFreknBed
Guest
Angeline
Poet Chick
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I got a lot of good feedback on that story which was quite valuable, but winning the contest would have been mighty nice. There was a $500 prize. And Julia was turned into a vampire by Theo and was going to bite some dude in the bar when the story ends. I wasn't happy about the ending either, but as I said earlier I'm less into narrative fiction and I was rushing through trying to finish. I was bored with it.
The more I think about the idea of poetic prose, the more it interests me. I'm not a fan of most prose-poetry either. Most of it sounds rambly and unconnected and/or just boring to me. But beautifully written (i.e., poetic) prose is another story. I'm thinking of fiction along the lines of Virginia Woolf's Orlando, for one, but there's lots of examples. I'm not even sure I could do it and not produce crap but it's an interesting idea. If we had a contest somehow related to it I think it would, at the very least, force us all to stretch as writers. And that's a good end in itself, you know?
I got a lot of good feedback on that story which was quite valuable, but winning the contest would have been mighty nice. There was a $500 prize. And Julia was turned into a vampire by Theo and was going to bite some dude in the bar when the story ends. I wasn't happy about the ending either, but as I said earlier I'm less into narrative fiction and I was rushing through trying to finish. I was bored with it.
The more I think about the idea of poetic prose, the more it interests me. I'm not a fan of most prose-poetry either. Most of it sounds rambly and unconnected and/or just boring to me. But beautifully written (i.e., poetic) prose is another story. I'm thinking of fiction along the lines of Virginia Woolf's Orlando, for one, but there's lots of examples. I'm not even sure I could do it and not produce crap but it's an interesting idea. If we had a contest somehow related to it I think it would, at the very least, force us all to stretch as writers. And that's a good end in itself, you know?
The Waves is prose-poetryish, I think I try and write sex stories like the narration in The Waves. Sophocles and the Greeks translated resembles voice and voices I'd like to write a story in. Err, recent translations of the greeks, not the cheezeball fifties and 19th century rubby rubbish.
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H
hmmnmm
Guest
Yknow Tihmmm and poets, all this convo about poetic prose and prose writ by poets has got me thinking that we could probably make an interesting challenge out of this. Maybe something like write an erotic story based on a poem or write an erotic story that is also poetic. What do you all think? I know we still have poets' survivor going, but this could an interesting break from that contest. And I'm pretty sure that if I talk to Laurel, she'll come up with some sort of prize for the winner--well maybe not in this economy lol, but she usually is willing. Wouldn't hurt to find out.
I am open to any and all suggestions to fine tune this idea--that is if you all are interested.
PS I don't care if no one but us reads and/or like the poem/stories we write. We will!
Well that could sure be interesting. A lot of ways to take something like that. Heck, I'd be happy with a new category to encompass the kind of stuff we're talking about. Don't know what the category would be called. Not Necessarily Stories? Scraps and Drafts? Back Row Scribbles?
But definitely, the mix-up route... yeah, that's good. Gonna go that way. And submit em as poetry. Solves a lot of the angst that's pestered a long time. And opens into a fine new world.
Epmd's writing a porno story and I'm just gonna stick a bunch of poems in it, whether they fit with the story or not, guerrilla attack.
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hmmnmm
Guest
well a story here has to be at least 750 words.
but if you manipulated some special section and restricted it to say, 650 words, a few paragraphs and a few clean little stanzas, mix it all up... or even embroider a pretty frame around it, call it Illustrated... whoa, arousal is happening.
but if you manipulated some special section and restricted it to say, 650 words, a few paragraphs and a few clean little stanzas, mix it all up... or even embroider a pretty frame around it, call it Illustrated... whoa, arousal is happening.
Angeline
Poet Chick
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Tim that's just what I was thinking-- that it can't go over 750 words or it'll be categorized as a short story. Anything under that automatically gets categorized as a poem here. So say we put a range in the contest and said the submissions had to be between 500-650 words. They could still be categorized as erotic poetry, but all of us here would know what they were. I'm not sure Laurel and Manu would go for establishing a new writing category at Lit anyway, not unless there were a large enough number of submissions to warrent it. And I'm not asking her for a category when I don't even know what to call it lol. But, I think it'll be a fun experiment and maybe move some of us in a new direction. Oooh that last bit excites me.
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LadynStFreknBed
Guest
I thought before that it would be kinda cool if Lit had a flash fiction category... like 500 words or less. I think that's a challenge, to get a good story and description condensed into 500 words. In fact, I think Og or someone had a flash fiction writers' challenge in the AH once though it might have been for much shorter than 500 words.
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hmmnmm
Guest
arousal remains
H
hmmnmm
Guest
Tim that's just what I was thinking-- that it can't go over 750 words or it'll be categorized as a short story. Anything under that automatically gets categorized as a poem here. So say we put a range in the contest and said the submissions had to be between 500-650 words. They could still be categorized as erotic poetry, but all of us here would know what they were. I'm not sure Laurel and Manu would go for establishing a new writing category at Lit anyway, not unless there were a large enough number of submissions to warrent it. And I'm not asking her for a category when I don't even know what to call it lol. But, I think it'll be a fun experiment and maybe move some of us in a new direction. Oooh that last bit excites me.
Well the whole story side is like a huge and vicious metropolis. The unsuspecting and well-intentioned sort who happens to wander in, offers up something, suffers repeated recriminations for civil disobedience... for some sorts it just appears to be a genetic incompatibility. It's not you and it's not them. It's just a world in which you don't belong and never will belong. The poetry world seems more spacious and forgiving and even critique is not near the harsh experience as it can be in the big vicious world of Stories.
Yeah, arousal continues.
Angeline
Poet Chick
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This is good. We need to keep thinking about this for a week or so and we can fine tune the idea. I'm reluctant at this point to call it "flash fiction" or "prose poetry" or anything that already has associations for people because I'm concerned it might turn some of them off. And I'm not sure that's what it is anyway. I think it's more an experiment lol which is a lousy name, I know. On the other hand, if people want to write what they think of as flash fiction, well why not? Maybe the thing to do is leave it open--suggest that people can think of this in whatever way helps them define how they want to write it. So it could flash fiction, prose poetry, poetic prose. What is is NOT though is straight poetry, and definitely not form poetry. I think we all need a break from that.
Do you think 500-650 words is too long? Will it scare people away?
Angeline
Poet Chick
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I know this lol, and that is why I prefer to keep it on the poetry side. Anyone from Lit is welcome to join in, of course, but this isn't an erotic story contest. People who want to do that have plenty of opportunities elsewhere on the site.
H
hmmnmm
Guest
It's like certain natural and pleasurable tendencies are punished in the world of Stories, and they will always be punished. But in the world of Poetry, those very same tendencies are okay. And that gives some good giddies. Well, off to nurse this arousal. It's on the strong side. Yeah, it's.... uh, what's the word? Eager. Yeah. Eager.
