Tips for Posting

[YinandYang]

Okay I get the picture. I can see why there are limited newbies here who interact. My aim in joining a forum was to maybe get to know experienced people AND new people. People like me who have questions, who perhaps are just starting out on their journey, for me to speak to people like that and vice versa would probably help more than talking to the experienced ones.

For those that are experienced and 'been there and done that' would it be too much trouble to just overlook the posts that annoy you? If that can't be done, then the forum should be called 'BDSM for experienced only'

I for one won't be posting here anymore (and I don't really care about your opinions to this), if everyone can get so flustered about repeading a thread, which was asked in a nice way, albeit 'inexperienced' way, then whats the point in having a forum at all?

This thread has turned into grossness simply because I asked some questions. Those questions weren't answered, up until Desert Rose (Thankyou), instead I had every point of my post thrown back in my face, and most of those points werent even relevant to the original topic.


So I guess the general consensus is...if you are new....don't ask questions until you are experienced enough to think of something new.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Okay I get the picture. I can see why there are limited newbies here who interact. My aim in joining a forum was to maybe get to know experienced people AND new people. People like me who have questions, who perhaps are just starting out on their journey, for me to speak to people like that and vice versa would probably help more than talking to the experienced ones.

For those that are experienced and 'been there and done that' would it be too much trouble to just overlook the posts that annoy you? If that can't be done, then the forum should be called 'BDSM for experienced only'

I for one won't be posting here anymore (and I don't really care about your opinions to this), if everyone can get so flustered about repeading a thread, which was asked in a nice way, albeit 'inexperienced' way, then whats the point in having a forum at all?

This thread has turned into grossness simply because I asked some questions. Those questions weren't answered, up until Desert Rose (Thankyou), instead I had every point of my post thrown back in my face, and most of those points werent even relevant to the original topic.


So I guess the general consensus is...if you are new....don't ask questions until you are experienced enough to think of something new.

I do over look those threads, as do many other present posters. And that was my point. We just don't post to them, if they are redundant.

Sorry to see you go. I think you have taken this whole topic far too personally. (You want to see personal? Wait until I suffer the wrath of catalina for my disenting opinion.)

The point of the forum is the exchange of ideas and information. If someone begins a thread like some of those I mentioned, again, I repeat, it will only attract a few responses. Those of us who have posted before (ad nauseum) to the topic of "how do I tell my SO that I love to be bitchslapped," will not be posting. Take it or leave it.... if the thread starter is not interested in hearing from those of us who have been there-done that, fine and dandy.

 

[YinandYang]

I do over look those threads, as do many other present posters. And that was my point. We just don't post to them, if they are redundant. .

Yes I see this point, but I think its nice to receive replies from new people, because in effect they may be where I am at, and therefore share things that are relevant to the poster and the thread starter.

Sorry to see you go. I think you have taken this whole topic far too personally. (You want to see personal? Wait until I suffer the wrath of catalina for my disenting opinion.) .

Some bits I have took personally, mostly the points I was picked up on that had no relevance to this thread for the sake of arguing. The other bits, the questions I asked, I wouldn't take that personally at all, I got involved in this post because I saw how many newbies were shot down on their first post with a link and a sarcastic remark.

The point of the forum is the exchange of ideas and information. If someone begins a thread like some of those I mentioned, again, I repeat, it will only attract a few responses. Those of us who have posted before (ad nauseum) to the topic of "how do I tell my SO that I love to be bitchslapped," will not be posting. Take it or leave it.... if the thread starter is not interested in hearing from those of us who have been there-done that, fine and dandy.[/QUOTE]
I understand it will recieve only a few replies, but, those replies may be invaluable to the thread starter, and indeed to the new person answering those posts.

Thanks for you reply DesertRose, appreciated

 

[AngelicAssassin]

So.....the bottom line is, that the quotes you use above (which incidently don't seem to have much bearing on postings, threads, archives, or library topics) are all you can come up with to continue this power exchange?

If you want a power exchange, i can get nasty in a hurry. If you can't tell what my bearing intended, try reading. i asked why you felt it so important for you to start a new thread. We've had multiple conversations on multiple topics before you arrrived. i don't begrudge you your questions. i want to know why you couldn't be bothered asking your questions in an older thread. What that implies is you actually took the time to read through one, assimilated what someone had already said, and then asked questions from either a fresh look, or for further edification. If you want a free for all forum, try the General Board. i'd prefer not to have that here. As for the rest of your questions, i'd rather see the repetitive posts merged into the older ones.

Well, thats just pure sarcasm, you know nothing about how I live my day, or how I spend my time.

No, i took the time to show you how fast you could have conducted a search. If you want sarcasm, try this on for size. In the time it took you to put together your comments on my supposed sarcasm, you could have opened a section in the library for topics in which you might have an interest. And based on your logic for posting new threads, if i wanted to know how you spent your time, i guess i could post a new thread asking you. Do you see one? i didn't think so.

 

[YinandYang]

AA I am really not interested in how Nasty you can be...but I am interested in whether you have the patience to share your knowledge with us 'newbies'.

And if you remember at the beginning of this thread, I thanked you for your direction of the links. They have been informative, I also mentioned my reasoning for starting new ones (and not only my threads but others too), which has been nothing to do with laziness or time...or any of the other reasons you have suggested. I made it clear, the reasoning was to relate to people in the here and now, including new ones.

Bloody hell if this is what you get when you show an opinion I suggest you frisk people who come here in case they have a mind of there own

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Quite welcome for the links.

i don't have issue with people of their own minds.

Post away to your heart's content, it's your forum.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sorry to see you go. I think you have taken this whole topic far too personally. (You want to see personal? Wait until I suffer the wrath of catalina for my disenting opinion.)

The point of the forum is the exchange of ideas and information. If someone begins a thread like some of those I mentioned, again, I repeat, it will only attract a few responses. Those of us who have posted before (ad nauseum) to the topic of "how do I tell my SO that I love to be bitchslapped," will not be posting. Take it or leave it.... if the thread starter is not interested in hearing from those of us who have been there-done that, fine and dandy.

LOL, you have not attracted my wrath ADR and I don't see anything wrong with what you have said.....thankfully we all have opinions here and are still expressing them. I agree, some days as someone who has been here a few years, you get a thread which you just feel too jaded to go over the territory again. I actually had one of them a few weeks back so posted briefly and referred to a previous occasion I had posted more extensively about that topic so the poster could check it out if they wanted and I didn't have to try and fake an enthusiasm that just wasn't happening that day....sometimes I just go away and come back to it another day when I am more able to approach it.

I remember what it was like in the early days of our posting, the fear, anticipation, insecurities, so try to not make others feel that tenfold if I can. I have found on more than one occasion that a new poster, inexperienced and experienced, have said something in a way I hadn't quite thought of before..not to mention even though I live 24/7, there is still so much to learn and experience, some of those things having been experienced by people newer to the lifestyle than me. It is all a matter of diversity and variations in our journey's which I usually find fascinating and exciting to be honoured with sharing.

I can understand those who feel they have talked themselves out on a topic, and I also understand why a person would want to ask their own question in their own way in a fresh thread. There is something to be said for feeling you are visible in the community here, acknowledged and validated, especially added to in a sexuality based lifestyle where many do enjoy the idea of being seen in some way.There have been people address their questions in old threads recently only to have been ignored while people posted about the previous question originally posted 1-2 years ago, or people just posted about the nostaligia of reading posts by now absent posters. It serves little purpose and is in many ways like a snub to some. We all have to do what we feel is right, and as has been pointed out on more than one occasion, this is a porn site so what is all the smacked hand attitude about anyway?

Catalina

 

[AngelicAssassin]

There have been people address their questions in old threads recently only to have been ignored while people posted about the previous question originally posted 1-2 years ago, or people just posted about the nostaligia of reading posts by now absent posters. It serves little purpose and is in many ways like a snub to some.

Oh i'm sorry. i didn't realize any of us had a requirement to answer a question regardless if it were in a new, or old thread regardless. Is that a new rule PC rule for the board? As far as little purpose in reading posts of now absent posters, you may have that opinion, but it ain't shared by all the rest.

Tell you what; lock every post that hasn't had a comment once it makes it past the first page. You can make sure you don't offend the sensibilities of anyone and every Tom's Hairy Dick and Jane will have an opportunity to post a brand new thread. Don't worry, i won't begrudge you the opportunity to revive threads of your choosing as a moderator. i sure as hell won't be doing it in the future after your snide comments the last few days.

 

[Quint]

Conducting a quick search under threads I've started, I see the following:

*BDSM dreams
*Scene music
*Fetish parties
*Meeting your partner for the first time
*Self-congratulatory thread on accomplishing a new-to-me activity
*"Advice for a developing Dom"

Damn if I mustn't be the most boring poster on the forum.

If there is one thing I've learned from being a military brat, it's that wherever you go, you'll find the same situations. It's the new people that keep life fresh and interesting. Take a fucking hiatus, come back, and see WHO is new, not WHAT is.

 

[sunfox]

Damn, what a lot of sniping over nothing.





Edited to clarify: Not directed towards Quint, whose post I found amusing. You're not boring, btw.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Oh i'm sorry. i didn't realize any of us had a requirement to answer a question regardless if it were in a new, or old thread regardless. Is that a new rule PC rule for the board? As far as little purpose in reading posts of now absent posters, you may have that opinion, but it ain't shared by all the rest.

Tell you what; lock every post that hasn't had a comment once it makes it past the first page. You can make sure you don't offend the sensibilities of anyone and every Tom's Hairy Dick and Jane will have an opportunity to post a brand new thread. Don't worry, i won't begrudge you the opportunity to revive threads of your choosing as a moderator. i sure as hell won't be doing it in the future after your snide comments the last few days.

AA I don't know where that bee got up your arse or why it bothered but I hope it leaves you in comfort soon for all our sakes. I have never denied recycling threads(despite being pointed at for it in the past both before and after I was invited to moderate) or had a go at others doing it, nor have I demanded people post to questions. If you read you would see I pointed out at the beginning of this whole shit stir that it was a persons choice to either open a new thread or one that didn't seem of interest, whether they wanted to post, or whether they wanted to not post...what I objected to and still do is the rudeness and insistance new threads are not welcome and posters should just resurrect a similar topic thread and post their question or observations to it.

Your attitude to this has lost new posters, and has not attracted a lot of support from the board from what I see. I am sorry, but it seems you want to continue trying to interpret things your way, insist we all obey and shut up...sorry, I am disappointed in your behaviour as you are someone I have always admired and knew in the past to be welcoming, inclusie and friendly to just about anyone. I am hoping this is just a reflection of something else in your life which will hopefully be sorted out to your liking soon for your sake.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

LOL, you have not attracted my wrath ADR and I don't see anything wrong with what you have said.....thankfully we all have opinions here and are still expressing them. ...

I'll sleep better knowing my post met with your approval.

Now on to the topic of snobbery... many of us have posted to new posters' threads and met with the same type of welcome they claim to get here. I stopped posting to new threads on this board because I've been ignored or shot down. It's like someone said in another thread... "veterans think their words are set in stone." If that's the attitude of new posters, why would I share my experiences with them?

I've never claimed to have all the answers or know everything there is to know about bdsm, although there are some veteran posters here who seem to think they do. But when my posts are ignored or torn up, I see that as another form of snobbery and I stay out of the thread.

And when I offer information to a new poster in PM and it goes unanswered - not even a thank you - I won't do that anymore either. That is the ulitmate in snobbery. I've always responded to the PMs I recieve.

 

[Quint]

Damn, what a lot of sniping over nothing.





Edited to clarify: Not directed towards Quint, whose post I found amusing. You're not boring, btw.

Always happy to amuse, m'dear!

(That rolly-eyed thing really does have a shit-eating grin, doesn't it? Almost enough to spawn sniping in itself!)

 

[sunfox]

Always happy to amuse, m'dear!

(That rolly-eyed thing really does have a shit-eating grin, doesn't it? Almost enough to spawn sniping in itself!)

It does *laughs* Kinda a rude little smirk. I dig that about the rolly-eyes. I rarely use it, but the situation definitely called for it.

 

[TaintedB]

Personally I have nearly always found the search function wanting. I have both under the old and new system put in a search with the exact name of a thread and designated to look only in the forum where I know it is and still it cannot find it....and not because there are so many threads but because it is not a great search engine and comes up with 'no matches for your search'....so then I go back to the time consuming way and find the thread in the forum I set it for and under the exact name I fed in......so it is not an issue of how many threads are available.

I have exactly the same experience. Over and over and over. That's why I no longer do many searches (and why I tend to resent the hell out of people who suggest I use this ridiculous software function--sorry vbulletin but you are soo not google), unless I want to read something someone specific has said. Then, that "click their avatar" search works great. Buy try to find a specific key word or phrase typed with the exact spelling and capitalization that is used within a mesage? Nada. You do have to find it manually--the search engine won't.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

AA I don't know where that bee got up your arse or why it bothered

Don't worry about it. If one had been there, it got flushed, along with several other things. As for this nonsense,

insistance new threads are not welcome.

at no time did i insist a new tread unwelcome. i asked why not post to an older, got answered, and replied it's your board, do as you wish. And this?

Your attitude to this has lost new posters, and has not attracted a lot of support from the board from what I see. I am sorry, but it seems you want to continue trying to interpret things your way, insist we all obey and shut up...sorry, I am disappointed in your behaviour as you are someone I have always admired and knew in the past to be welcoming, inclusie and friendly to just about anyone. I am hoping this is just a reflection of something else in your life which will hopefully be sorted out to your liking soon for your sake.

Catalina

i didn't realize taking an unpopular position was verbotten. If the board has lost new posters for my attitude, it has lost older posters for the attitudes of others. i gave you alternatives, some of them extreme, some perhaps helpful for the new posters. Posters to the board will do whatever they like and let them. Last, save your disappointment for more important things in your life. i consider this whole checkpoint in the board's history nothing more than water off a duck's ass. You can continue staring at wake bubbles, but i've moved on to other things.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'll sleep better knowing my post met with your approval.

You don't need my or anyone's approval as you know.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

i asked why not post to an older, got answered, and replied it's your board, do as you wish.

It is everyone's board which means most times it is not exactly as we all want individually all the time, but we learn to compromise, be inclusive, and keep it in perspective. Often we fail at some time or another, but overall I think we succeed in making it a good place to hang out and get to know each other, as well as discuss a wide variety of topics from a diversity of perspectives.

Catalina

 

[slave C]

Yes, I am a new poster, I have questions and I have received lots of help from most of you. And I REALLY appreciate all the help I have received. I have quietly gone on my way to the next topic. However, I feel I need to say something here. Let's put our verbal whips away and take a deep breath. After visiting other threads and read how the oldies here relate to each other I see how much fun it would be to jump in a flirt and give everyone a bad time. I don't feel I know ya'll that well yet. Remember, you can't please everyone, there will always be someone who is not happy. We have the right to listen or ignore. I have visited the library and found lots of good stuff. But, there are still some pieces missing and I am hoping to find them that is why I post threads. I am determined to find answers one way or another. If I start a thread that has been done before just be patient. Also, after I have started a thread and not receiving any more answers how the heck do I end it? Has a thread on flirting BDSM style been done? Submissively, kneeling, with head bowed... slave c

 

[grace9]

Hmmmm...

I read through this thread and I must say as a newbie I see YinandYang's point (thanks for speaking up BTW) But I am a perfect example. I found this website via an internet search and imagine how bummed I was to find the posts I wanted to join or interact with posters was more than a year old! Even this thread, as I reply is almost a month old.
I think there's enough separation and division already in the world without people that are looking to find "connection" with others getting their heads bitten off for being naive or wanting to link to other people instead of just page through old threads. It's like talking back to a book. Sure I'll learn something but....doesn't talk back...
I am still learning my way around Lit Board but I don't want to feel fearful and apprehensive about joining into an online community because I haven't been properly "schooled". I am doing my best, reading the threads that tell new people the ropes etc. But sometimes you just don't know and no one...NO one needs to feel stupid or incompetent for still learning. Everyone has been new to something AT LEAST once in their lives and would have/did appreciate some patience from others as they found their feet.

....and I'm.....spent...

Grace

 

[catalina_francisco]

An oldie but with some good tips and insights for those wondering or teetering on the edge of 'do I post, how, do I not, when?'.

Catalina

 

[cati]

While free speech is respected here, using expletives to force your message across rarely achieves what the poster sets out to do, nor gives strength to their discussion point in the way they may have intended. It is a personal choice, but also may cause offence where none may have been intended. Courtesy and backing your point with a cognitive response will not only help people perhaps understand better what you are trying to explain or say, but also encourages others to listen to what it is you want to say.

Thanks catalina for the above. By expletives, you mean calling someone a jerk?

First of all I think it very, very difficult to come up with a thread that is both interesting and informative to "all".

A while ago I posted a question only to have it brought to my attention that this question had already been asked somewhere, some time. My first thought was ok... uhuh... and they had to do that? I felt a little intimidated... and it made me think twice about joining in.
As far as posting a question that has already been discussed. Some of us newbies really don't know any better and it would be nice for the oldtimers in Lit. to be a little patient and give us time to learn just how how things are/should be done around here.

I think it's great when threads are recycled. Silly me has never gone to the library or done a search on a topic to find out if a thread already exists. I will now.

The thing that ticks me off are the people who come into a thread and sit and talk about personal bullshit. Their little one line messages back and forth to each other have nothing to do with the discussion at hand. It's almost as if they go from thread to thread "room to room" just to see what's happening or who is saying what..and for what ever reason, have to make their presence known by blurting out some trivial...I don't know what exactly.
...I don't for the life of me get it....

 

[catalina_francisco]

Thanks catalina for the above. By expletives, you mean calling someone a jerk?

First of all I think it very, very difficult to come up with a thread that is both interesting and informative to "all".

A while ago I posted a question only to have it brought to my attention that this question had already been asked somewhere, some time. My first thought was ok... uhuh... and they had to do that? I felt a little intimidated... and it made me think twice about joining in.
As far as posting a question that has already been discussed. Some of us newbies really don't know any better and it would be nice for the oldtimers in Lit. to be a little patient and give us time to learn just how how things are/should be done around here.

I think it's great when threads are recycled. Silly me has never gone to the library or done a search on a topic to find out if a thread already exists. I will now.

The thing that ticks me off are the people who come into a thread and sit and talk about personal bullshit. Their little one line messages back and forth to each other have nothing to do with the discussion at hand. It's almost as if they go from thread to thread "room to room" just to see what's happening or who is saying what..and for what ever reason, have to make their presence known by blurting out some trivial...I don't know what exactly.
...I don't for the life of me get it....

I for the life of me still only get the search function to work efficiently once in a blue moon...it is just not great even with the right thread name so wouldn't worry too much about feeling guilty for asking again....as I tried to get across here before. As to hijacking, it has been a problem off and on for a long time and no matter how many times you remind people that Talk is for serious topics and it is a bit rude running up pages of hijack's, it continues to happen and before you know it the topic dies, the thread becomes more unrelated than related, and we lose posters and postings. I don't have a big problem with a hello for someone not seen around for awhile, or a little related lightness at times, but like you, find it gets too much and not fair to others when it goes on and on as you say....the Cafe is the place for fun, and was set up mostly to try and combat this problem, and I can never understand why people have a problem keeping it there so everyone gets to enjoy the forum in the way they choose.

Catalina

 

[cati]

thanks..smiles

 

[Kajira Callista]

Their little one line messages back and forth to each other have nothing to do with the discussion at hand. It's almost as if they go from thread to thread "room to room" just to see what's happening or who is saying what..and for what ever reason, have to make their presence known by blurting out some trivial...I don't know what exactly.
...I don't for the life of me get it....

HEY! I resemble that remark