To Be Out of the Closet...

[J1biboi]

Don't feel bad, Boi. I have absolutely NO social life myself. That's kind of why I like the internet so much, to connect more with the world. It's easier to BE ME online, hiding behind a keyboard. One of these days I'll meet up with a friend, I think. Just don't know when. Still learning about all this relationship stuff.

I can totally relate.

 

[flyingtinopener]

I am a 47-year-old bi-sexual man. My wife knows I'm bi and is okay with it, as long as I don't bring him home for dinner.

I have told my sister that I am bi, but am terrified of letting that little secret of mine get out into the open. I am afraid that once I DO come out, several of my friends and maybe even a few of my brothers would more than likely disown me because they are against that lifestyle.

The older I get, though, the more I see how short and how fleeting life is. I am getting tired of staying behind the curtain.

Any guys (and girls) out here in the same boat?

A few years ago I fell in with a small local gay group ,became close friends with them. This led to some good times, many sexy threesomes with two of them as both top and bottom, although this ended some years ago they have kept it secure, and they are never likely to divulge our history, which is great. The only problem could be one I,m not sure about, the moral of the story is be sure you know who your telling, or keep stum.

 

[klippert]

I am a 47-year-old bi-sexual man. My wife knows I'm bi and is okay with it, as long as I don't bring him home for dinner.

I have told my sister that I am bi, but am terrified of letting that little secret of mine get out into the open. I am afraid that once I DO come out, several of my friends and maybe even a few of my brothers would more than likely disown me because they are against that lifestyle.

The older I get, though, the more I see how short and how fleeting life is. I am getting tired of staying behind the curtain.

Any guys (and girls) out here in the same boat?

Do what you have to do. But, I have a unique perspective on this issue. Because I’ve been through these emotions. I’ve just learnt a thing or two over the 40yrs (I’m 56) I’ve experienced m/m sexual desire and more. Please Just hear me out.

Try this. Don’t tell anyone. I have never seen the reason to kiss and tell. I have witnessed the mess these things cause and am currently witnessing a situation that is being a 20yr marriage to end (and she accepted his proclivities, until) destroying long standing friendships and dividing people's.

Answer this:: why and what reasons do you think it’s necessary to tell people??. What are you expecting from them??. If they don’t act or react the way “you” want them too, then what. And don’t drop the victim card.

You see. I accepted my choice of sexual desires. Enjoying both men and women. The last thing on my mind, taking the podium, waving a flag, that didn’t volunteer to protect and announcing it to the world, then expecting them to fawn over me. Think about your wife, and your family. You said your wife is okay with your sexual choice. “But don’t bring it home to dinner”. Yet announcing it. Is bring it home.

Just live your life.. no one else needs too know what you do in the woods, behind closed doors or when you travel out of town. Heck, For all we know, if you cum out, you’ll be the darling of your circle of friends. Who knows. Maybe all the neighbors wives will be happy there husbands can be serviced so they don’t have too. On the other hand…. What I am witnessing now is a direct result of people’s expectations NOT being fulfilled.
I truly wish you luck, happiness and peace.
—
.

 

[Astroman72]

For me, yeah, I share klippert's view. It might be different if I was only attracted to men and had deep relationships with them and it was a central part of my life that affected everyone around me. But as far as being a mostly straight guy who also has physical desires for cock, why does anyone else need to know that?

What, am i going to go into work and say "Excuse me everyone, but there's something about me that you don't know, and I want to tell you. I have several realistic dildos. I enjoy sucking them while masturbating, and every now and then I like to lube one up, sit down on it, and go for a good ride until I orgasm. That's all, thank you. Just wanted you to know."

I don't mean to disparage anyone who does feel a strong need to come out, but it's just not something that would cross my mind. I kind of assume that the vast majority of people have at least SOME hidden sexual desires, habits, or fantasies of one sort or another, but I don't really need to know about it.

 

[Britva415]

What, am i going to go into work and say "Excuse me everyone, but there's something about me that you don't know, and I want to tell you. I have several realistic dildos. I enjoy sucking them while masturbating, and every now and then I like to lube one up, sit down on it, and go for a good ride until I orgasm. That's all, thank you. Just wanted you to know."

Have you ever kept your sexual orientation to yourself in a situation where there would have been a reason to reveal it? I'm not talking about the graphic details of your sex, just the, "hey, there are non-straight people in the room, you know" or "there's something you should know about me if we're going to be honest with each other" kinds of situations.

Uncloseting doesn't have to be rubbing people's nose in it, but actively closeting IS a choice.

as far as being a mostly straight guy who also has physical desires for cock, why does anyone else need to know that?

You're right, maybe they don't. But if there were ever a time when someone did, and it was kept hidden, that's just reinforcing the conditions which make everyone believe that the closet is good, right, and necessary.

 

[CharlieBoker]

I’m bi and my wife knows too.
I don’t stray outside of the marriage anymore at her request, either with women or men.
If she was cool with it I would though as I think I’m not naturally monogamous. I still strongly desire cock but I respect my marriage.

Would I come out of the closet? I think if I was asked, in the right circles I would have no problem admitting that I swing both ways. I’m certainly not ashamed.

I don’t see the point in telling others unprompted though. I don’t expect they’d gain anything other than a bit of juice to gossip about.