Top 'masturbatory' sex fantasies
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Gary Chambers
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The real battle of the sexes
Funny you should say that, Doc, because although I feel comfortable discussing sexuality with the ladies in the AH, there is one belief I hold about women that I've refrained from expressing. In real life it usually brings on a barrage of angry objections. It may be different here where the ladies tend to be more candid about their sexuality. We'll see.
I believe men are territorial and women are sexual. That doesn't mean a woman can't maintain a metaphorical or physical territory, or that men have no sexual character. It simply means that deep down in their instincts, the man is motivated by territorial imperatives and the female by sexual ones. A man is defined by his ability to stake a claim on something and then control that something to his own benefit. Women hold an ace, however. They can invade any territory they wish and if the controlling male looks threatening they can just seduce him. There is equality and mutual respect in this relationship.
Throughout history feminine sexual power has been downplayed. Insecure males could not admit that they grow weak at the knees before the altar of a woman's sexuality. Women whose sexual powers were too obvious were frequently punished, sometimes even put to death. The stoning of women who commit adultery or have children out of wedlock is a throwback to that state of affairs. Spanking fetishes are another manifestation, though played out with more pleasing results (ie. increased orgasm). The result is that despite ongoing emancipation, most women remain unable to state without fear: "I am first and foremost a sexual being."
I believe that's why women's sexual fantasies seem so layered and complex. As a rule you can't get a woman to admit how lustful she is. Centuries of being punished for their greatest strength have conditioned them to be coy about their true inner personalities. Here in the AH we meet women who are more advanced in this respect, but even here I won't be a bit surprised to be sent to the corner for this post.
dr_mabeuse said:
Funny you should say that, Doc, because although I feel comfortable discussing sexuality with the ladies in the AH, there is one belief I hold about women that I've refrained from expressing. In real life it usually brings on a barrage of angry objections. It may be different here where the ladies tend to be more candid about their sexuality. We'll see.
I believe men are territorial and women are sexual. That doesn't mean a woman can't maintain a metaphorical or physical territory, or that men have no sexual character. It simply means that deep down in their instincts, the man is motivated by territorial imperatives and the female by sexual ones. A man is defined by his ability to stake a claim on something and then control that something to his own benefit. Women hold an ace, however. They can invade any territory they wish and if the controlling male looks threatening they can just seduce him. There is equality and mutual respect in this relationship.
Throughout history feminine sexual power has been downplayed. Insecure males could not admit that they grow weak at the knees before the altar of a woman's sexuality. Women whose sexual powers were too obvious were frequently punished, sometimes even put to death. The stoning of women who commit adultery or have children out of wedlock is a throwback to that state of affairs. Spanking fetishes are another manifestation, though played out with more pleasing results (ie. increased orgasm). The result is that despite ongoing emancipation, most women remain unable to state without fear: "I am first and foremost a sexual being."
I believe that's why women's sexual fantasies seem so layered and complex. As a rule you can't get a woman to admit how lustful she is. Centuries of being punished for their greatest strength have conditioned them to be coy about their true inner personalities. Here in the AH we meet women who are more advanced in this respect, but even here I won't be a bit surprised to be sent to the corner for this post.
Omni
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Gary Chambers said:
From my perspective as another erotic romance publisher (Allure Books) I wish men would buy more. I sell to 90% women. And, I really think it is not that men do not like the type of erotica Allure sells, but they are much less likely to buy reading material over the internet or by mail order.
I wager men buying anything off the internet is lower just for the time it takes to do it.
I will admit because I do not believe men are a good bets to market this product to that I will target women markets more. However, alot of the marketing we do is in places men easily travel to see also.
There also is a perception though that the majority of men might prefer porn over erotica or romance erotica. And, as struggling erotic publishers we have to go with the mass that is a better bet.
I have considered many times writing porn for men or erotica with men solely in mind, however I just do not believe they will easily pull out their credit cards to buy online yet.
Omni
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Mab., I got you. I did not think your original post facile, nor that "power" had to do with who's on top; I don't think so either. Controlling the fuck has nothing to do with physical strength or position; I learned about that from dyke friends.
Just to be clear, I was not contradicting you except at a personal experience level which gave me much food for thought, so thank again.
Perdita
Just to be clear, I was not contradicting you except at a personal experience level which gave me much food for thought, so thank again.
Perdita
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Gary, I will not send you to the corner as you exlcuded AH women from your generalizations, and your insightful statements have merits to a great degree. But know that all my women friends and acquaintances do not hesitate to present themselves as sexual beings. Then again, I do live in the Sodom and Gomorrah of the west.
Perdita
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Maria2394
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I agree with Perdita on not hiding one's sexuality. I do not hide mine, but I don't flaunt it just to anger the women around here. I live in the south, bible belt and it's really hard to get away with wearing what ever *I* want to wear, ( like short shorts and tank tops) and not get hateful stares from other women.
Its like I said to one at a grocery store one day,
"If my ass offends thee, look away"
never have offended any male that I know of
also, I try to write for men. Occasionally I get story ideas from my male readers, many of those men suggest lesbian romances or three ways with 2 women, one man.
may I ask the men on this forum, why do men fantasize about woman on woman action and why the double standard? I really dont get it, as I have never been further with a woman than kissing one... I have asked some of my male friends, and they always tell me, "its hot, its just so fucking hot" and the idea of male on male seems to make them gag...please enlighten me
Its like I said to one at a grocery store one day,
"If my ass offends thee, look away"
never have offended any male that I know of
also, I try to write for men. Occasionally I get story ideas from my male readers, many of those men suggest lesbian romances or three ways with 2 women, one man.
may I ask the men on this forum, why do men fantasize about woman on woman action and why the double standard? I really dont get it, as I have never been further with a woman than kissing one... I have asked some of my male friends, and they always tell me, "its hot, its just so fucking hot" and the idea of male on male seems to make them gag...please enlighten me
Lovepotion69
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I got a reply from my friend with his comments on the fantasies. Turns out I was into more stuff than he was...
Gary has a point in the history of women's sexuality. In today's world though I guess it is more open, but still complex. It all depends on where you are, who you are and how others perceive you.
Many of my female friends are very open about sex. They'll talk about it freely, but of course even among them, there are various levels of talking about it. The long time friends and I will talk in a more serious way about things while the uni girls will be all Sex & the City style conversations.
I recall talking sex with male friends at the lunch table in high school. Among other male friends we'll talk now and then, and I've many times been told by guys how they enjoy talking openly and frank with a girl about sex.
I believe in expressing myself as a sexual being, and have no problem to admit my lusty person. On the other hand, I do not believe you have to flaunt it all the time. Same thing way I feel about many things (sexuality, wealth, religion etc); there's a place and time for everything.
Maria, when it comes to men and their f/f fantasies or anal play things, you'll always get the "Oh yeah, that'd be HOT...but I'm not gay or anything!" reaction.
Gary has a point in the history of women's sexuality. In today's world though I guess it is more open, but still complex. It all depends on where you are, who you are and how others perceive you.
Many of my female friends are very open about sex. They'll talk about it freely, but of course even among them, there are various levels of talking about it. The long time friends and I will talk in a more serious way about things while the uni girls will be all Sex & the City style conversations.
I recall talking sex with male friends at the lunch table in high school. Among other male friends we'll talk now and then, and I've many times been told by guys how they enjoy talking openly and frank with a girl about sex.
I believe in expressing myself as a sexual being, and have no problem to admit my lusty person. On the other hand, I do not believe you have to flaunt it all the time. Same thing way I feel about many things (sexuality, wealth, religion etc); there's a place and time for everything.
Maria, when it comes to men and their f/f fantasies or anal play things, you'll always get the "Oh yeah, that'd be HOT...but I'm not gay or anything!" reaction.
Black Tulip
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Lovepotion,
I agree with you about the time and place for everything, but even among very good friends there are only one or two who know what is really in my mind when it comes to sex.
The relative strangers here on the AH know more about me in that respect.
And that has everything to do with how quick a woman is still judged (negatively) by her appreciation of sex.
Even in a permissive society as the Netherlands. Because those who speak or act "loudest" are not neccesarily representatives of the majority.
I agree with you about the time and place for everything, but even among very good friends there are only one or two who know what is really in my mind when it comes to sex.
The relative strangers here on the AH know more about me in that respect.
And that has everything to do with how quick a woman is still judged (negatively) by her appreciation of sex.
Even in a permissive society as the Netherlands. Because those who speak or act "loudest" are not neccesarily representatives of the majority.
shereads
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Are there "non-masturbatory" sex fantasies as well as masturbatory ones?
If so, are they the same sort of thing but just not well thought-out, or is there a factor in the non-masturbatory fantasy that ruins its potential?
Here's the first example that comes to mind: I'm in a crowded subway being groped by a strange man. I become excited, despite the fact that I find his actions deeply offensive and a bit frightening...Then I get a look at him, and he's Senator Arlen Specter or Ted Koppel or maybe, god forbid, Benny Hill.
Where does this fantasy go wrong? At what point does it leave the realm of the masturbatory sex fantasy and turn into just a stomach-churning moment on a smelly public conveyance? .
Please discuss.
If so, are they the same sort of thing but just not well thought-out, or is there a factor in the non-masturbatory fantasy that ruins its potential?
Here's the first example that comes to mind: I'm in a crowded subway being groped by a strange man. I become excited, despite the fact that I find his actions deeply offensive and a bit frightening...Then I get a look at him, and he's Senator Arlen Specter or Ted Koppel or maybe, god forbid, Benny Hill.
Where does this fantasy go wrong? At what point does it leave the realm of the masturbatory sex fantasy and turn into just a stomach-churning moment on a smelly public conveyance? .
Please discuss.
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