Torture & BDSM

[Netzach]

Hmm... good point. I can get off on the stupidest things on the planet; I can get off on the scariest things on the planet... it depends more on who I'm with than what we're doing. (But in my head I do catagorize things which pretty much corresponds with my "degree of turned on anxiety" about XYZ thing. LOL)

I like a lot of anxieties that people don't like.

Being unlovable scares people more than being eviscerated physically. That's the edge I find erotic.

 

[the captians wench]

Everyone's different blah blah blah maybe she's totally mature.

Ok, now that that's out of the way, I'm totally with you.
I was just talking to my stud today about how different my life is since I met him over 7 years ago, and how, frankly, I like me better at 33 with Crohn's and having done the prodomme thing and a million other changes, including a fantastic spouse, than I liked 26 year old insecure me, and how I feel like I'm on an upward trend.

There's so much ground that people cover in their 20's its absurd.

See that's my thing. I've noticed how much I have changed in just this past year, and from what I know about her she hasn't experienced any of those major life changing events that tend to spark some sort of growth. She's in collage now and she's never lived alone. She's never been with out a man in her life. She has been a modle, and traveled with a modling agency, and maybe that is significant, but I don't know. I just know that I still have a lot of developement left and I've had a lot of life changing events happen to me since 19.

The other slave, the one that's my age, has also been married and devorsed already. Her life in a lot of ways echos mine.

Maybe it's just my own insucurity talking here but I just don't see asking a 20 year old to mark them selves perminitly for me as being a wize thing to do.

 

[catalina_francisco]

You know I've been strugling with this idea as well a bit. A friend of mine just collared his second slave a couple weeks ago. She's 20, and lives a good 8 hour drive away. But they are talking about her relocating here, where she only knows them, and getting a tatoo with his mark on her. I kept my mouth shut as I don't think it's really my business to ask, but I couldn't help thinking why he would take such a comitment from some one so young. Maybe that's worded a bit harshly. The other slave is my age and a very good friend of mine. She has a rather large tatoo on her thigh with his mark in it, and it's been there for two years now. Now Jounar and I have talked about branding me, but we've also talked about how it's not time for a perminate mark. And I've also been married already, but marrage these days doesn't leave much of a trace once the relationship has disolved.

Maybe this is just a pesimistic view, and maybe that view stems from the hurt I've had in my life after making what I thought was a life long commitment, but it just doesn't seem to me like she's experienced enough in life to make such huge changes. It is pesimistic, and I don't like it.

I don't think your strange. I know some of the younger people in the lifestyle take offence at any suggestion they need time to grow, experience life more than a little, before making any major life changing decisions which often may not easily or cannot be erased such as branding etc., but reality is not only can you not put an old head on young shoulders regardless of the experiences, but we all experience changes throughout our lives, not just in our teens and 20's. During the younger years from teens to perhaps mid-30's (40 for some), I think the changes are usually bigger mind shifts and growth spurts, while the ones after tend to build on those and not be quite so big a shift for most. What might seem like a cool thing to do at 20, may just be a living nightmare by 30 or 40 or 50. Not to mention the one you mentioned is not even living with them as yet....as we all see here and many places, poly is not that easy to make work, nor is living together in any relationship usually....so much could change or fall apart.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

You know I've been strugling with this idea as well a bit. A friend of mine just collared his second slave a couple weeks ago. She's 20, and lives a good 8 hour drive away. But they are talking about her relocating here, where she only knows them, and getting a tatoo with his mark on her. I kept my mouth shut as I don't think it's really my business to ask, but I couldn't help thinking why he would take such a comitment from some one so young. Maybe that's worded a bit harshly. The other slave is my age and a very good friend of mine. She has a rather large tatoo on her thigh with his mark in it, and it's been there for two years now. Now Jounar and I have talked about branding me, but we've also talked about how it's not time for a perminate mark. And I've also been married already, but marrage these days doesn't leave much of a trace once the relationship has disolved.

Maybe this is just a pesimistic view, and maybe that view stems from the hurt I've had in my life after making what I thought was a life long commitment, but it just doesn't seem to me like she's experienced enough in life to make such huge changes. It is pesimistic, and I don't like it.

I hate to be the pain in the ass, but I've been with K since I was 18. We've been married now, nearly 10 years. (HOLY COW!!!) Just because some 20 year olds are incapable of making that kind of commitment doesn't mean all are. Some of us have been adult all our lives.

 

[the captians wench]

I hate to be the pain in the ass, but I've been with K since I was 18. We've been married now, nearly 10 years. (HOLY COW!!!) Just because some 20 year olds are incapable of making that kind of commitment doesn't mean all are. Some of us have been adult all our lives.

I'm not saying that there aren't 20 year olds that aren't. I was fully ready to make, and as I said I thought that I had made, a comitment that would last my life time. However the one I made that comitment to was not as prepared. And actually it's just been the past few weeks, well since I met my friend's new slave, that I've been questioning my own since of timing as far as levels of comitment. And I think that I wouldn't worry so much about them if it weren't for the fact that they are polly, and that this is his second slave. I really worry about all three of them, not just the new one, and in my own mind I question his judgement. But as I only see a small fraction of thier relationship, I do not voice such judgement.

And I'm not saying that it can't work. It may infact work out great and 50 years from now the two slaves will still be blaming each other for something that happend and he will deside it's just easier to punish them both. And I do in my heart hope that that is true, if it is how they want it to be.

I think my problem right now is that I'm just dealing with the down sides of living an ldr, and so a lot of pesimistic views are coming out. I really hate this feeling because I'm usually such an upbeat and optomistic person.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

NO YOU HAVE TO DO IT MY WAY! MY WAY'S THE ONLY WAY, THE TRUE WAY! AHAHAHA

Oh hell... I'm so totally screwed if this is the case!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

*sticks tongue out* Snob.

Why thank you!

And that's a cute tongue you got there missy!

 

[graceanne]

I'm not saying that there aren't 20 year olds that aren't. I was fully ready to make, and as I said I thought that I had made, a comitment that would last my life time. However the one I made that comitment to was not as prepared.

I know this is probably gonna open a huge can of worms but . . .

I don't think that the majority of men are ready to make that kind of commitment at that age. *shrugs* I know that their are exceptions, but quite frankly men mature more slowly than women. Most men that age are just looking for steady sex, and that's why they get married. They are totally incapable of making that kind of commitment. I don't believe that men are ready to make a commitment till their late 20's IF THEN! K was 28 when we married, and he wasn't really ready.