Trans mm or trans mmf?

[TheF1x3r]

Maybe that's progress - not to make any assumptions about people's identity or preferences. Just let them tell you who they are and who they want.

It's a progressive place I hang out in. It was the safe place for gay and trans people who didn't want to go out in the gay and trans scene venues (I don't know why, I've just realised it never occurred to me to ask)

 

[JiminNC]

Sexual attraction and gender are two quite different things and I've dated men and women. Why make assumptions about other people's preferences?

Agreed! That was my point…

 

[stickygirl]

Agreed! That was my point…

Sorry, I was in a rush when I replied before.

From my personal experience and those of other trans women, I'd venture this. A lot of people generally, whether cis or trans, have misgivings about their sexual preferences. This is a topic debated for years - how much does the stigma of being 'out' actually influence your preferences?

If you read the threads in this forum you'll see quite a lot of discussion, primarily from men, who have changed their views with age. Maybe they become bi-curious or take more of an interest in dick? I suspect that's because they outgrow the fear that was drummed into them in the playground or from their family.

Coming back to the experiences of being trans and how that might influence our preferences, I'd say we have those internal debates much earlier in life. If we question our gender then it's only natural to question sexual orientation as well. The more you hold homophobic stigma to the light the more it falls apart.

I describe myself as pan sexual. The difference between pan and bi is maybe best described by saying 'I don't care how you got here, I find you attractive and I don't care if you're a cis gender man or woman or trans.' As it happens I've never really had a relationship with another trans person ( snogging at parties excluded ) but I certainly wouldn't rule it out, so I'm pansexual. It's how I'd answer any questions if it came up.

I've spoken to people here at Lit, albeit a few years ago, who were surprised that I was dating a woman at the time. I think they were still locked into the idea that I wanted to be a woman so that I could have have sex with a man, but not be gay, or not take it up my ass or... I dunno!

A problem I've experienced are those kinds of assumptions and bigotry, but that's not limited to being trans. Homophobia means other people want to judge you and interfere with your lives, when it has nothing to do with them. Transphobic people are no different but of course these days it's a political football.

Talking of football ( soccer ) I have a story about that!!

 

[stickygirl]

There are trans women who are only attracted to women. A fair number of them but my girl is not one of them.

That's an interesting point, because the attraction has to work both ways: does a cis gender woman find a trans woman with a penis attractive? Answer - never rule anything in or out!

However, I've dated pan-sexual women post-op, but when I was pre-op it was a bit of a minefield - for me. Again, it's something I've covered in a couple of my stories and something the two characters worked around. If, as a hormone-taking pre-op trans woman, your dick never gets erect, how do you manage penetrative sex ( because your ability to have erections is zero )?
The short term answer for most is Viagra, or in the case of porn artists, they take just enough hormone to enhance a feminine appearance ( whatever that is ) AND take Viagra. Or, in the case of Escierto's gf ( correct me if I'm wrong ) she comes from a gene-pool where the physical distinction between men and women isn't as marked as it is in Anglo-Saxon/Caucasian races. There is as much variation amongst the trans community as there is in the general population: tall-short; blond-dark; left or right handed, which is why the management of hormones has to be tailored to the individual. There are risks to taking any hormones - they're serious drugs.

 

[Escierto]

That's an interesting point, because the attraction has to work both ways: does a cis gender woman find a trans woman with a penis attractive? Answer - never rule anything in or out!

However, I've dated pan-sexual women post-op, but when I was pre-op it was a bit of a minefield - for me. Again, it's something I've covered in a couple of my stories and something the two characters worked around. If, as a hormone-taking pre-op trans woman, your dick never gets erect, how do you manage penetrative sex ( because your ability to have erections is zero )?
The short term answer for most is Viagra, or in the case of porn artists, they take just enough hormone to enhance a feminine appearance ( whatever that is ) AND take Viagra. Or, in the case of Escierto's gf ( correct me if I'm wrong ) she comes from a gene-pool where the physical distinction between men and women isn't as marked as it is in Anglo-Saxon/Caucasian races. There is as much variation amongst the trans community as there is in the general population: tall-short; blond-dark; left or right handed, which is why the management of hormones has to be tailored to the individual. There are risks to taking any hormones - they're serious drugs.

You are quite right. So much variation! And maybe not even hormones - one of her brothers that is a year older could be her twin. The same face and skinny body - it's funny looking at them together - it's ying and yang.