Troubled in college

[kimbernee]

EDIT: Oh, and just to cover my bases, advice like 'just suck it up and go' or 'focus on your goal' will not be helpful - I'm doing that now. And while my attendance has improved, it has done nothing for my motivation AND it still doesn't seem to be enough. If that's all the advice you have, that's fine - feel free to post it, no harm done - just keep the above in mind as you do. Thank you.

Nevertheless, this is life you're describing and "just suck it up and go" is the answer. The alternative looks really stupid in retrospect.

 

[andrus]

Now is not the time to be out on the job market without a credential. Believe me when I say that you will have a lot of competition in finding work when some of your competitors likely have advanced degrees and are working retail. I actually worked as a secretary while I finished my phd and for a time was a secretary with a phd.

Someone suggested language abroad, that could be pricey. Not sure where you are going to school but many large state schools offer intense summer language programs where you take all 3 parts of the language in one summer. You can also just take the 2nd or 3rd parts but they like you to take the whole thing.

To test the job market right now you should try applying for temp work with whatever agencies you can find. Most universities have their own temp pools.

 

[silverwhisper]

vfaulkon quoth:
first of all, let me say this. silver, i know about the economy, but quite frankly it doesn't matter - i still need a job, regardless of how hard it is to find one. and i have serious doubts that a BFA in creative writing will up my chances at finding a job stocking shelves or working the cash register.

a lot of people aren't hiring, and having a degree at all is still a big leg up on other candidates. i'm afraid that's the simple truth, and it's been echoed by more than one other person in the responses to your question.

vfaulkon quoth:
i am seeing a counselor - have been since i get here, for various reasons - and they aren't helpful on this matter. typically, the response i get is 'you're almost there, just tough it out', hence my post-edit. same with friends and family. none of them seem to get that this is me toughing it out. and i'm definitely not a bottler of emotions, though it's rare for me to find someone to vent to. usually i just resort to ranting into the air and sleeping it off.

in that case, i submit that the counselor you've been seeing just isn't good with this.

honestly, i think your best bet is to continue pushing yourself further. as you appear to have made up your mind otherwise, why is this particular class so problematic? you've been able to get up and handle your other classes this semester and in past semesters. what makes this class different?

ed

 

[unregistered]

 

[spunkyE]

Well i didnt' read most of the responses to this but let me say this.

if you can't make yourself go to class what happens when you get a sucky job (because you never finished your degree or even with a degree) and you just cant' drag yourself to work.

I dont' mean to sound harsh but do what you have to get your ass to class (hey that rhymes) and do what you have to do. Whether it's get yourself some antidepressants or whatever. You can't go through life with that attitude. If you were failing because you sucked at french that would be one thing, but to do this twice when you are so close just because you cant' make yourself go does not bode well going forward in a career.

If you do this at a job and believe me most jobs are way worse than going to french class somthing way worse than 8% off of your grade is going to happen.

I can say this from work experience. some days due to health reasons and because i hate every soul i work with it takes a hercules like effort to get my ass there but that's what adults do!

i probably shouldnt' have posted this, but what the hay!

 

[KokopelliRises]

I know the feeling of being burnt out in school. I'm not even as close as you are to graduating and I know the feeling well enough. My best advice is to find someone to talk to, just a friend. Counselors can be great, but sometimes a friend is so much better, especially for things like this. If you'd like to talk to someone else who's in school, my inbox is always open and I have a couple different IMs if that would be better.

 

[Cathleen]

So, VF, how are things going for you? Have you had success reducing some stress?

 

[ClimbHi]

I was in the same boat as you once. I was in college mostly to stay out of Viet Nam. Then, when the lottery draft system started, I got a really high number and didn't need to "stay in to stay out." I dropped out and joined the workforce. It wasn't long (about 6 months) before I saw college in a whole 'nother light, and went back at night to finish up, and even earn a graduate degree, while continuing to work.

Getting out into the real world may be just what you need to bring perspective to your life at this point. I'd suggest thinking about carrying a few night classes at the same time, though, even if it's "just" a writing workshop or non-credit French classes (so you'll have a leg up when you actually take the classes for credit) just to keep you in the game -- it's tough to get going again if you drop out completely. Also, if you can't motivate yourself to simply show up for class, I wonder if you'll be able to find the motivation to work hard at writing after spending all day being abused by shoppers.

At my relatively advanced age, the one thing in life I'd change if I could is to go back and make better use of all the time I've wasted. The problem is that it's tough to tell in the moment whether you're wasting time or not. You need carefully consider which of your options would ultimately be a waste of your time, 'cause you'll never get it back.

ClimbHi

 

[VFaulkon]

Since it was requested, an update:

I recently had to deal with a root canal on top of everything else, which meant a few days of missed classes (all excused, thankfully) and a week of dealing with an angry, rotting zombie tooth before I could get home to get it fixed. The stress of it broke me down to tears. Now that I've gotten the work on it done and I'm back up at college...well, between that experience and all the advice I've heard here, I'm feeling...different, I guess.

I realized that I'm at a period in my life where I have many sources of legitimate stress pulling me in multiple directions at once, several of which I have no experience with (finding a job, being financially independent, looking for my own place) yet are somewhat urgent and necessary concerns. I'll be talking with my counselor when next I see him about going on the anti-depressants for the next couple of months - getting myself to focus solely on the next task only works for a day or two, and I can't really afford to slip now.

However, I think just realizing that I have every right to be stressed - that it's a fairly rational and valid way to see things - has helped quite a bit. So I'll stay in college, do what I can, and hopefully graduate this summer. If not, I'll just have to find some French night class to take while I'm working. Not just because of the advice I've been given, but because I know me; as soon as I'm officially out of college, I'm running as FAR away from it as I can. It'd be better if I was done when I did that.

So, in summation, my situation remains the same, but my attitude is...well, mildly improved.

Thanks for all the concern. It's a real help to the voice in my head telling me I'm a whiny li'l bitch that there are some people who are right there with me.

 

[bailadora]

Thanks for all the concern. It's a real help to the voice in my head telling me I'm a whiny li'l bitch that there are some people who are right there with me.

Well shit, hon - you've been through the wringer!

But I am glad to see you've had a shift in perception as sometimes that's all it takes. One comment to offer regarding focus: While it's good to not lose sight of the big picture, sometimes being too focused on it can cause a person to feel overwhelmed, as might be the case here. Back when I still worked for pay, sometimes I'd be assigned a project and would immediately feel daunted by the scope of it. It helped me to break it down into smaller pieces, prioritize them and then set deadlines for each portion. So taking things a day or two at a time isn't necessarily a bad thing, and in the long run, might help you cope better. It's a thought.....

YW for the concern and hey - we're all whiny lil bitches sometimes.

 

[silverwhisper]

vfaulkon quoth:
i think just realizing that i have every right to be stressed - that it's a fairly rational and valid way to see things - has helped quite a bit.

you know, it didn't occur to me that there's so much pressure at this time of your life but that's absolutely true, and i'm glad you appreciate it. :>

ed

 

[dirtygeekgirl]

I'm a senior in college, set to graduate in six-ish weeks, and I'm going through the same thing. I have to finish my major thesis (in Russian- what is it with foreign language?) to graduate and I'm having a hell of a time finishing it. Depression, procrastination, and stressing over finding a job and a place to live are making this a hard time for me.

I don't know what else I have to offer but empathy; just know that almost every college senior feels the way you do to a certain degree. What helps me is making a strict, but reasonable to-do list and making sure it gets done. Like, only studying for one hour instead of two, but making sure that I'm studying, at least. Talking to friends helps, as does just admitting that I'm burnt-out and in a rut and need to take things a little slower.

I'm looking forward to working next year; it'll at least be a change of pace. But for now, one day at a time.

 

[LickYourNips]

I'm a senior in college, set to graduate in six-ish weeks, and I'm going through the same thing. I have to finish my major thesis (in Russian- what is it with foreign language?) to graduate and I'm having a hell of a time finishing it. Depression, procrastination, and stressing over finding a job and a place to live are making this a hard time for me.

I don't know what else I have to offer but empathy; just know that almost every college senior feels the way you do to a certain degree. What helps me is making a strict, but reasonable to-do list and making sure it gets done. Like, only studying for one hour instead of two, but making sure that I'm studying, at least. Talking to friends helps, as does just admitting that I'm burnt-out and in a rut and need to take things a little slower.

I'm looking forward to working next year; it'll at least be a change of pace. But for now, one day at a time.

Not to mention having the accomplishment of graduating under your belt. That will be HUGE soon.

- Jake