Trying to understand being a sub......

[Desdemona]

Art, that post does indeed belong here. It is so very hard to be patient when you finally accept long ignored needs.
All of you who are new subs, please feel free to ask questions publicly or to send a PM. I'm not very far from being a shiny, brand new sub myself so I know how it feels.

 

[~Dream~]

Re: I found MissT's post on another thread,...

...but I thought,...what the hey,...it belongs here also. I hope you don't mind me copying and pasting it here MissT.

I think that once we find D/s, we find ourselves so drawn to it, needing it ,
longing to experience it that we want to move forward with a steam roller.

Patience is key.
As with any relationship, any kind of relationship, it takes time and energy to find
the right partner, whether in D/s , vanilla, business or friendship.

Castlrealm has a great article on patience.

I would suggest anyone looking for a Dom/me or sub:

A) YOU must know yourself first. What are your needs and desires? What do you
bring ot a potential partner? This requires questions and answers, research into
the lifestyle. Making friends in the lifestyle who can help guide you can be most
helpful. This forum has been great for htat for many.

B) YOu must trust yourself FIRST. Too many stories, my own included, have hit
on the issue of misplaced trust. I realize now it was my judgment that was
skewed and can't blame the fools who stepped on my trust.

C) Be real. What are the parameters to your search? Are you looking for on line
relationships? Real time? If real time, can you relocate? What abotu things like
employment and kids? Consider the whole picture, not just your drive to have that
special someone, but can it work in the real multi dimensional world?

D) Peruse ads. Get comfie with a personals site or forum. When you feel you can
recognize the players from the serious seekers, then stick a TOE in ! Dont' jump in
head first.

E) Patience!!!!!

All good things happen to those who wait.
Or as with Dream, they just happen!

Trying to place that longing on the back burner while you conduct a responsible
search into yourself and then your search for a partner will pay off a hundred fold!

__________________

________________________________________

Hmmm..well I dont know HOW to take THIS part of Master's Quote SexySis,>" All good things happen to those who wait.
Or as with Dream, they just happen!

I feel I HAVE WAITED...over 45 years as a matter of fact to find my soulmate..the one who Completes me.. and after all I waited a WHOLE 3 mos before I marched my lil butt down to Arkansas(lol@ marched)..I set a goal ..To FIND a Master,You know that More than ANYONE else,You introduced us ,all I did was PURSUE,THAT goal ,in retrospect however,I would've taken the time to Know MYSELF a little better first,simply because I FEEL that it's made Master's job at training me to be a good slave a little "harder' as I am starting to discover more and more "hidden " kinks popping up lol
His patience and genuine love for me has SAVED our relationship a number of times,coupled with the FACT that I feel He knows I am SINCERE in my love for Him also...
Being from an abusive background makes it so hard to TRUST sometimes,a person just gets TOO comfortable being treated like sh**... the more Master guides me into happiness,the better it feels yet some part of me is still quite "Unsure"..
That part is where my battle is at..as we continue our Journey together,slowly Master is"tearing down' all my doubt ,fear and insecurity walls ,one by one,He will tell You I am doing it Myself,but in REALITY,It's His Dominant Control ,strength,Love and patience with me along with a "hope" and Faith' of our Future together that gives me the "courage' to face all my past "Demons" ..sorry to ramble ... love ya ~Dream~

 

[eastTNbbw]

Re: I found MissT's post on another thread,...

...but I thought,...what the hey,...it belongs here also. I hope you don't mind me copying and pasting it here MissT.

I think that once we find D/s, we find ourselves so drawn to it, needing it ,
longing to experience it that we want to move forward with a steam roller.

Patience is key.
As with any relationship, any kind of relationship, it takes time and energy to find
the right partner, whether in D/s , vanilla, business or friendship.

Castlrealm has a great article on patience.

I would suggest anyone looking for a Dom/me or sub:

A) YOU must know yourself first. What are your needs and desires? What do you
bring ot a potential partner? This requires questions and answers, research into
the lifestyle. Making friends in the lifestyle who can help guide you can be most
helpful. This forum has been great for htat for many.


Artful,

Thank you for sharing that post. I had not seen it yet. I am at least now assured that I am on the right path....I'm trying to know myself, my needs, my desires, etc.

I have done a lot of reading at Castlerealm and it is indeed a very informative place.

And welcome Angel, I'm new and only just beginning to consider what this can hold for me. Good luck on your search. And please call me Swt.....it is what I am called at other sites.

 

[morninggirl5]

I agree with MissT, Artful, and des. The being patient is definitely the hardest part.

The term sublust has been used several times to describe newbie subs and their want/need to submit that can lead to disastrous scenes. I read about this during my research. Now that i've felt it, it exists. The key is to be able to recognize it in yourself and be willing to force yourself to be patient.